Authors: Astrid Yrigollen
“Why did you, a young girl, take care of your Aunt and not your mother?” I felt shame for my mother’s sake and softened the truth.
“My mother was inclined to faint at the sight of blood or sickness. She hardly visited me when I had an ordinary cold. I don t blame her.”
“That is good you are not like her in that way, Lily. You have a strong personality, but are also humble.” I squirmed under his compliments.
“Thank you Sir.” He smiled knowingly.
“Where are your parents now?” I was not prepared for that question and was not further prepared for the huge lump that seemed to be making itself a regular guest in my throat. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. I quickly looked down to hide my quickly misting eyes.
Why now!? Of all times!
I mentally damned myself for letting the dam of tears loose. Tears dripped down my cheeks as quickly as I wiped them away.
“Aye, Missus and Sir, would ya like yer dinner served in ‘ere?”
A small voice asked in a thick accent. I turned to see a waifish looking serving girl no more than fifteen years old.
“Bring out the cart Mary and then you may go home.” Fredrick said casting a furtive glance at me. I managed to control my tears as I excused myself to clean up.
I went up to my bedroom and saw that even Naza had a little dinner brought up to her. A bowl of thick cuts of beef in a gravy sauce and little chunks of potatoes and carrots. She was gulping it down with gusto. I stroked her head and whispered to her a little. She thumped her tail against the backside of her bed.
I heard my name being called from downstairs, so I told Naza good bye and prepared myself for dinner with my new boss.
We ate in the same room, with the exception of “telly trays” as he called them. Little tables used by an individual that were high enough to eat off of while sitting in a chair. I had never seen anything like them before and told him so.
“Yes, they’re quite old but not really stylish. They are made out of a material that has not been manufactured in hundreds of years. Plastic, yes it was called plastic. I use them here because it’s such an informal place as it is.” I nodded and looked down at my plate.
Thin strips of smoky flavored beef dripping in a flavorful sauce were arranged prettily on my plate. It was accompanied by mashed potatoes mixed in with green herbs and butter. On a separate plate, a lush green salad with baby corn, carrots, kidney beans, and croutons were waiting.
“As you can see we do not even have a formal dining room here.” He said.
“Please don’t wait for me Lily, I have never appreciated the ‘waiting for the host’ way of thinking.” I glanced up at him and he merely sipped at his wine.
I began to eat as he told me a little of his own personal history.
He told me he stayed out in Alcott once every 6 months. He let the serving girl, Mary stay here rent free when he was away.
“Where is she now?” I inquired, remembering how he sent her away.
“I rent out a room for her while I am here. I would never kick her out on the street. My one rule while she is here is that she keeps things tidy and does not venture down into the basement. I have personal articles that I do not necessarily want her to view.” I nodded at this as if everyone had secrets in their basements.
He went on to tell me he had been married many years ago but his wife passed away mysteriously. He grieved for many months but it didn’t do anything to convince his wife’s relatives that he wasn’t responsible for her passing. When they began to whisper tales of foul play in the authorities’ ears, he packed his then five year old son and moved to the countryside.
“Her relatives were closed minded, backward beasts.” He peered at me, as if gauging my reaction. I continued to eat the wonderful meal and hardly took notice of his harsh adjectives. I also knew what it’s like to feel strongly about someone so I was in no position to judge.
“When she passed, tongues wagged, eyes pierced and I nearly lost my son. The only thing I had in this world to remind me of Emrah. I took my son and fled. We settled in Hartsford, St. Marhen’s sister city, perhaps you have heard of it?” He looked at me again, seeming to know all. I ignored the question and continued eating.
“Hartsford is a large city, not as large as St. Marhen, but large enough. Our house is very isolated though, in the countryside, the way I prefer it. So now my son and I live in a huge empty house.” He stared off into the firelight, still sipping his wine.
“Is your son in school Sir?”
“Please call me Fredrick, and he is not in school. He was taught at home by his Mother and myself. He has no use for practical schooling any longer.”
“I see.” I sat back from my meal, full and sleepy once more.
“So, now you know about your employer, I would like to know about you. I believe you were telling me about your parents before Mary came in.”
I nodded quietly, not knowing how much truth I should give him.
Something inside warned me not to lie, but I went against it and lied by omission. I would tell him just the things he needed to know, and nothing more. Nothing more that could lead the authorities to me if they searched North Alcott.
“My mother passed on not long ago. My mother was very sickly with an unknown ailment and finally succumbed to it. After she passed on, my father decided to travel abroad. I think he ran away from her death, the memories, the whole thing.”
“And you as well. Tell me, does he write, or contact you in anyway?”
“Only in dreams.” I whispered. He nodded.
“Yes, in dreams. Sometimes dreams are better than the real thing. I am sure you miss your father very much, but he must be battling some very strong demons to keep him away from such a wonderful daughter.”
I said nothing. My father was not battling, he gave in willingly to Death. Shame for my lies forced my lips sealed to the compliment.
“Why is it that no match had been made for you? You look of age, are you?”
My stomach soured. Frantic thoughts crammed their way into my head. Even as I opened my mouth, I was uncertain as to what I was going to answer.
“Yes, I am of age. Right before my mother’s death, I had my eye on a certain gentlemen, but the arrangements were never made. He has since gone off to his second studies after graduation, without any idea that I existed.”
“Tragedy! Such a lovely girl as yourself. My heart goes out to you Lilly. Such tragedy should never visit someone so young or kind. If you grant me the permission, I would be honored to act as the match maker. Just give me the young man’s name and I will have my fastest driver roust him from his school dormitory before the next cock crows.”
Now what was I going to say to that,
I wondered. It seemed the more untruths I spoke, the more horse hockey I got myself into. I looked down into my lap as an answer formed in my mind.
“No Sir, I mean Fredrick, I thank you for such a generous offer, but I am ashamed to speak the truth of the matter.”
“Shame? What shame can there be to be young and in love?” I felt frustrated by this conversation and his insistence.
“Not in that, but in the fact that I learned love itself is not fleeting, at the whim of a young person, but everlasting. Love, true love, should last beyond death. I am ashamed to admit I was only infatuated with this young man and would only give him pain if I were to allow him to court me. I realized I never loved him.”
His whole expression changed. He seemed to radiate an inner glow that made his features much more attractive.
“Bravo! Well spoken. It’s such a delight to hear youth speak so. I think you will get along well with my son,” He paused thoughtfully, “providing he lets himself be seen.”
He stood and said his goodnight, leaving me to ponder his remarks.
“Please sleep well and watch for my notes on the hall table. I will from time to time leave you instructions there. Do not be preoccupied if you see more of Mary then you do me. I do expect you to keep our Friday appointments like clockwork though.”
He paused and looked at me intently to make sure I was listening. I nodded.
“Good, and like Mary, I ask you do not go down to the basement. I do all of my work there and do not wish it to be disturbed.”
I nodded again, wondering what kind of work he did. He looked at me and smiled.
“Goodnight Lilly, I hope you are comfortable here and sleep well.”
He ushered me to the stairs while he stood at the foot, looking up at me. I walked up to my room and prepared for bed. Naza opened a sleepy eye and winked at me.
Snuggled down into the incredibly soft bed, I immediately went to sleep.
The weeks that followed were strangely happy. I was alone, or with Naza for the most part. Her limp was not as noticeable as it once was. I would take her for walks or the driver, who seemed to admire her a great deal, would take her for walks after her dinner.
I would rarely receive notes from Fredrick. If I did, they would be more of a personal nature. He would ask about my health and if I needed anything.
My employer was such a generous man, one day he left me a large amount of money in an envelope. When I left it untouched and wrote back that he already paid me for that week I received the following note.
Lilly,
Once again, I have forgotten your timid nature. I realize I have paid you your weekly wages. This is something extra for you and Naza. Naza told me her mistress needs to go shopping for herself because three dresses are not enough for a proper young lady to have. Please go shopping for some new dresses and a boar’s tail for Naza.
Fredrick
p.s. I want you to be wearing a new outfit on Friday!
He drew a small happy face to convey his sentiment. It both pleased me and puzzled me that he was so generous. I did need new clothes since I still only had what I had fled with in one small suitcase. Mr. Brighton had given me enough to purchase enough dresses for twelve women. I took Mary out shopping as well and purchased some pretty frocks for her.
“Now missus, I don’t think ‘e would want that, now would ‘e?”
Was all she said in her impossible accent when I suggested she let me purchase some new frocks for her? As far as I could tell she only had one and that one was positively dingy. After some debate she allowed me to purchase two outfits for her. She beamed at me while clutching her parcels. I myself purchased three dresses to fill out my week with matching gloves stockings and under garments. I wanted to make sure that I had what I needed, but that I did not spend all of Mr. Brighton’s money since I wanted to return the unused portion.
Aside from her thick accent, and sometimes slow response time to questions, Mary was a lovely girl to know.
You would ask Mary a question and she would chew her bottom lip for a good fifteen minutes, mulling over your question.
“An wot wuz it you saaid missus?” Would be her customary reply after the wait.
I dressed in one of my new dresses that Friday for my employer to see. I came into the kitchen where Mary was preparing dinner for myself and Mr. Brighton, I could still not bring myself to call him Fredrick. It seemed so informal yet I would address him as such when speaking to him because he insisted.
“Ahh, don’t you look lovely miss! I dare say any gent that sees you will faint from yer lovelyness I wot!” She laughed heartily as she wiped her hands on a kitchen towel.
“Thank you Mary. Do you need any help?” She suddenly stopped laughing and looked down at the dish towel.
I noticed her demeanor changed at once. I asked her what was wrong and she shook her head vigorously. I walked over to her and placed my hand on her shoulder.
“What is it Mary? She glanced at me sideways, sheepish like.
I prodded her again for an answer.
“It wouldn’t be right of me to axe, but yer the same as me right? He is the boss an we the workers, aye?”
“Yes, of course, Mary.” I was puzzled.