His Diamond Like No Other (Mills & Boon Medical) (19 page)

Realising if she sat here allowing her thoughts to continue in this manner, she’d probably end up bursting into tears and waking Tessa, she uncurled herself from the chair. Quietly standing up and heading to the nurses’ station, she found Anthea busy filling in paperwork, getting ready for the hand-over.

It was just after six o’clock in the morning and while Jane had managed a few hours’ sleep prior to coming and checking on Tessa, she was starting to feel fatigued. Even if she wanted to sleep, she knew as soon as her eyes closed, all she would see would be Sean’s grim face, his eyebrows drawn together as he stared at her grotesque body.

‘Not a bad night,’ Anthea murmured, then gestured in Tessa’s direction. ‘Is she anxious about going home this morning?’

‘Yes. Listen, I might head back to my room, shower, change, have something to eat and then be back here in time for her nine o’clock discharge.’

‘Uh...sure, Jane, but, uh...would you mind just having a quick look at these files for me, please? I’m not sure if the medication dosages are correct.’

Jane sighed and nodded. ‘Sure.’ She accepted the files from Anthea, noticing the other woman kept checking the clock on the wall and then glancing over Jane’s shoulder towards the doors to the ward. ‘Something wrong?’ Jane asked ten minutes later.

‘What? Oh. Uh. No.’ Anthea shifted uncomfortably and couldn’t help glancing at the clock once more.

‘These dosages look fine.’

‘Great. Good. Thanks.’ Anthea glanced frantically around the nurses’ station as though looking for something. ‘Uh, actually, I can’t...er...find...Tessa’s discharge forms. Have they been prepared?’

‘I filled in all the preliminary details only a few hours ago. They should be in her notes.’ Jane went over to where the casenotes were kept and was surprised when she couldn’t find Tessa’s notes. ‘They were right here.’

‘Oh. I’ll help you look for them,’ Anthea quickly volunteered, once more glancing at the clock and then the doors to the ward. Jane frowned but decided that perhaps the fatigue of working through the night was starting to get to Anthea. Jane looked around the place and eventually found the notes under a different pile of papers, not at all where they should have been.

‘Here they are.’ She opened the notes and checked the discharge papers were in there. ‘There you go.’

‘Oh. Thanks. One of the enrolled nurses must have moved them. Thanks, Jane.’ There was a look of concern on Anthea’s face.

‘Are you sure you’re all right? You’re acting a little...strangely.’

Anthea laughed nervously. ‘I’m just no good at this.’

A prickle of apprehension worked its way down Jane’s back. ‘No good at what?’ she asked cautiously.

At that moment the ward doors opened and Anthea breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Stalling,’ the ward sister replied, before pointing.

Jane turned around slowly, sensing before she saw him that Sean had just entered the ward. Why had Anthea been stalling? Had Sean realised she’d been doing her best to avoid him? Had he employed the help of the ward sister in order to make her feel even more uncomfortable than she did? What had he told Anthea? Did the entire ward know about her scarred body?

The questions flooded her mind, one tripping over the other, her breathing becoming uneasy. She quickly looked behind Sean at the closing ward doors, wondering if there was any way she could escape, but with Anthea behind her and Sean walking towards her it appeared she was trapped.

Jane immediately pulled her sleeves down, then crossed her arms over her chest and lifted her chin, her eyes flashing defiantly. If she was going to be cornered, she was going to do her best to project an attitude of defensive fake nonchalance.

Sean took one look at her then glanced past her to Anthea. ‘Thanks,’ he remarked, which only made Jane more annoyed.

‘What do you want, Sean?’ she asked, completely failing to keep her emotions under control, her tone laced with annoyance.

‘I want you.’

Her eyes opened wide at his words. ‘Pardon?’

‘I want you to come with me. Please.’ He held out his hand, waiting for her to put hers into it. Instead, Jane shook her head and stepped around him, stalking out of the ward, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t follow her.

‘Jane.’ He was closer than she’d realised and fell into step beside her. Thankfully he didn’t try to stop her as she made her way through the hospital corridors, heading towards the residential wing. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry? About what?’ Again, she hadn’t managed to keep her tone absolutely devoid of emotion and she silently berated herself. She needed to get control over her emotions, not remember the way his big strong arms had held her, his fingers had caressed her, his lips had brushed tenderly and provocatively over her lips. She was not in love with him. She was
not
. She had to keep telling herself that because right now she knew it was an absolute lie.

‘About walking out the door the other night.’

Jane faltered for a moment and Sean took the opportunity to place his hand on her arm and stop her in her tracks. ‘Please, Jane. Just hear me out. If you want nothing to do with me after that, I promise I’ll leave you alone.’

‘Will you? Really?’ She gazed up into his eyes, stunned and amazed to find him looking not only desperate but extremely contrite.

‘Probably not.’ He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. ‘It’s difficult for a man to leave the woman he’s in love with, even if it’s what she wants.’

Jane’s throat went dry and she tried to swallow. ‘Love?’ she squeaked.

‘Yes, Jane. I love you.’ The words came easily to his lips and where he’d practised long and convincing speeches on the drive to the hospital, all that mattered right now was that she understood exactly how he felt. He tugged her into a small nook, out of the way of the main corridor, for a bit of privacy. ‘I
love
you,’ he repeated, emphasising the middle word. ‘You’ve managed to unlock the pain from my past and make it disappear as if by magic. You’ve shown me I’m not only capable of trusting again but also of loving. You’ve been so incredibly brave, opening your heart to me, showing me your scars, and I...’ He looked down into her face, overcome with love at her inner strength.

‘It’s all right, Sean.’ She hung her head, her long hair hanging like a veil around her. ‘I know my skin is grotes—’

‘What? No. No.’ He shook his head and lifted her chin so he could once more look into her eyes. ‘You misunderstand me. I don’t find your scars horrible or ugly or anything like that.’

‘But...’ Jane was unable to believe and accept what he was saying. ‘You found me distasteful and...compared me to...to...’

‘I’m sorry you took it that way. I wasn’t comparing you to Daina. I was...astounded that she’d walked away with nothing and that you, so strong and so brave, had lost everything. She was... Her behaviour towards you was...’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t want to talk about the past, about Daina. It’s over and done with and there’s nothing we can do to change it. What we
can
do is to move forward with our lives...together.’ He took her hands in his and held them tightly.

‘Sean?’ His name was a whispered caress on her lips and in another moment he’d dipped his head and was brushing the sweetest of sweet kisses to her mouth.

‘I love you, Jane. Scars and all.’

‘But—’

‘No buts. I love you, Jane.
Scars and all
.’

Tears instantly sprang to her eyes as she desperately tried to accept what he was saying. She bit her lip but the action only caused him to kiss her once more.

‘I love you, Jane, scars and all. And I am going to keep telling you that until you believe me. I love you, Jane. Scars and all.’

‘Oh, Sean. Really?’

He smiled. ‘I love you, Jane. Scars and all.’ With that, she leaned into him and he immediately put his arms around her, drawing her close. ‘Now, I have something special planned for us this morning.’

‘You do?’

‘Yes.’ He looked down at her, unable to resist brushing another kiss to her lips. ‘So would you do me the honour of trusting me? Of not asking too many questions and allowing me to follow through with my initial plan?’

‘You have a plan?’

‘Yes, but somehow, where you’re concerned, they never seem to work out exactly as I imagined.’

‘Why is that, do you think?’ Jane reached out and brushed her fingers through his hair, delighted that she had the right to touch him. He loved her. Sean loved her
—scars and all
.

‘Because you twist me into knots and no one’s ever been able to do that before.’

Jane looked at him with a hint of doubt still in her eyes.

‘No one,’ he emphasised. ‘You don’t react the way women usually do. You march to the beat of your own drum and I adore that. You are unique, Jane.’ He brushed the hair from her eyes and bent to kiss her lips once more. ‘And you’re doing it again. You’re derailing me from the plans I have by being so incredibly wonderful.’

‘And what are these “plans” that you have?’

‘I want to take you back to my house so you can have breakfast with Spencer and me, so I can have the perfect setting where I can get down on one knee and ask you to become my wife.’

‘Wife?’ she squeaked.

‘I love you, Jane. Why wouldn’t I want to marry you?’

‘But...I... Are you sure?’

‘Never been surer of anything in my life.’ Sean took her scarred arm in his hand, gently pushing up the sleeve. Next he brushed kisses up the length of her scar, wanting her to know that, beyond a doubt, he wanted her, needed her, loved her. He didn’t care that she was scarred. The realisation made her feel foolish for having read his expression incorrectly the other night.

‘Oh, Sean.’ She shook her head. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Sorry?’ He met her gaze.

‘Sorry for making you leave the other night. I thought you were disgusted by my scars, I thought you were like...other people.’

‘Your former fiancé may not have been able to see past the physical to the stunningly beautiful woman that you really are—inside and out, as far as I’m concerned,’ he quickly clarified, lest she take his words in the wrong way. ‘But I’m not him. I love you, Jane. Scars and all.’

She nodded, starting to accept that what he said was the truth. He’d professed his love for her, he’d told her he wanted to propose to her, that he wanted her for his wife, and yet hadn’t pressured her for any type of answer...giving her time to process and to think things over. Perhaps Sean did understand her, better than she understood herself.

‘I...er...need to be back at the hospital by nine, so I can be here for Tessa’s discharge,’ she said, by way of explanation.

‘Then we’d best get moving,’ he told her, bending to kiss her lips again before slipping an arm about her waist and walking through the hospital, once more not caring who saw them or the tongues they set wagging.

During the drive to his house Sean chatted easily with her, as though it was quite normal for him to have professed his love for her, while she couldn’t help feeling more and more nervous the closer they drew to his home.

‘What if Spencer doesn’t like me enough to have me for a stepmother?’ Jane blurted out the instant he pulled into the driveway. ‘I mean, he barely knows me and...isn’t this all moving a bit too fast?’

Sean removed the key from the ignition, before unbuckling his seat belt and turning to face her.

‘Jane. For a start, Spencer hasn’t stopped talking about you since he met you.’

‘He hasn’t?’

‘He thinks you’re fantastic.’

‘He does?’

‘And, besides, it’s clear to me—and to anyone who’s seen you with him—just how much you care about him, how much you love him.’

‘I do. He’s the reason I came back to Adelaide.’

Sean took her hand in his and kissed it then instructed, ‘Wait there.’

‘Why?’

His smile broadened. ‘I want to be chivalrous. Is that OK?’

‘Oh. Uh...sure.’ And so she sat in her seat, waiting for him to come around the car and open the door for her. Although the sun had only been up a short while, the heat was starting to make itself known, but it was nothing compared to the way Sean warmed her through and through when he smiled lovingly down at her.

‘You still have your seat belt on,’ he murmured when she looked up at him. ‘Allow me.’ He instantly leaned into the car, his face coming incredibly close to hers, his breath mingling with hers as he reached across to unclip the belt.

‘Mmm,’ he murmured, as he took the opportunity to press a few kisses to her cheek, Jane delighting in his tender touch. She angled her head so their lips could meet and when they did, with her finally starting to accept that he truly did love her, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, that all her dreams did actually seem to be coming true, Jane kissed him back with all the love in her heart.

‘Sean?’ she murmured, caressing his face with her fingertips.

‘Yes, my love?’

‘I want you to know...that I don’t like long engagements.’

At her words, a slow smile spread across his face. ‘Duly noted.’ He kissed her again, before helping her from the car and slipping his arms about her waist. ‘I take it that your answer to my impending proposal will be yes?’

‘How could you doubt it? Before I met you—this time around...’ she quickly clarified, and he nodded, indicating he understood what it was she was saying. ‘My life was...hollow. I’d look in the mirror and not recognise myself because I never really smiled any more. Sure, I’d smile for my patients, doing everything I could to help them. I’d smile for my colleagues, wanting to show that I could work alongside them, but I wasn’t smiling for
me
.

‘I guess, given my upbringing, that doing things for myself, rewarding myself, being kind to myself, wasn’t something I’d ever thought possible. But now, thanks to you and your generosity in allowing me to become a part of your family, I no longer feel faceless or hollow. I can keep on living my life, surviving in the world I’ve built for myself, but...I don’t want to.’

She placed both her hands to his face and looked directly into his eyes, his beautiful, blue hypnotic eyes. ‘I want to be with you, Sean. With you and Spencer. I want to become a family. The three of us. I...I...’ She stopped and sighed heavily.