His End Game (MMG #1) (16 page)

I waited three more agonizing days before breaking down and calling Piper.

“Ellie, you do realize that something is wrong here, don’t you?” she asked after I explained all that had happened over the past two weeks.

“I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”

Yep, I was still knee deep in denial
.

“Has Kurt heard from him?”

“No one has.”

“Did you search through his iPod? Maybe he left a clue or something?”

“I looked, Piper.”

I couldn’t get to sleep the night that we got back from ASU. This was nothing new, but I was beyond tired and imagining all kinds of messed up things in my head. I pulled out Max’s iPod, thinking that music,
his
music, would help. One of his playlists was titled Songs for Ellison. I cried through twenty-five songs that made him think of me. I told all of this to Piper.

“Wow,” she said, “were any of them good?”

“Let’s see, I started crying at Bruce Springsteen’s
Secret Garden
, thought I was going to throw up by Maroon 5’s
She Will be Loved
and had to turn it off at
All I Want is You.”

“What about the police? What did they have to say?” she asked.

“Kurt doesn’t want me to go to the police because of Sarah.”

“How long are you going to hold out?”

“Not much longer.”

“Ummm, not to change the subject or anything but I broke up with Tom a couple of days ago.”

Thank you Jesus
.

“Oh Piper, I am so sorry. We really liked Tom. Are you doing okay?”

I am such a crappy friend
.

“Yeah, he was getting to be a bit pretentious.”

Getting to be
?

“Well, I’m just glad you are okay.”

Sayonara Chucky or, as Joss would say, don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya!

“I’m worried about you, Ellie. This is your senior year. Everything counts now. Remember how we used to sit on my bed and dream about being seniors?”

“I know. It’s just….”

“Juuuuust what?”

Clearing the tears from my throat, I continued, “We made plans. He gave me the keys to his truck. We talked of future dreams….together. I was his game changer and he was my everything. How do I just….go on… without him….not knowing?”

“I can’t answer that. I wish I could and I wish I was there.”

“Me too.”

Before bed that night I called Max’s phone and poured everything I was feeling into my message. I couldn’t help but think that he was out there somewhere listening.

Max, where are you? Please come back
.

By mid-September I was no longer in denial. Max hadn’t returned and I knew now that he probably wasn’t going to. I went to school during the day and work directly after. After work I went home, ate dinner with my aunt and studied. She was worried about me but I didn’t have enough energy to pacify her.

Around ten every night I snuck out my window and walked to Max’s house. I crawled through his bedroom window and into his bed where I lay surrounded by his things. I had a part of him back when I was in his house and in his bed. His smell
comforted me. This was the time when I allowed the pain to swallow me. Night after night I cried myself to sleep.

Max made me feel beautiful and loved for the first time in my life. He filled me up. I was now empty and questioning everything. Did he choose the songs on my playlist knowing that he was leaving? Did he leave the iPod in his car and want me to discover it? I couldn’t even drive his truck without breaking down, so I gave the keys to Benny and asked him to keep it safe. The one thing that I knew without a doubt was that I belonged to Max McLellan. I always would.

~Five years later

One week after Joss and Kurt came to Greensboro to retrieve me, I said goodbye to my aunt. The week leading up to the funeral seemed never ending.

After packing enough stuff for a week and calling the advertising agency to delay my start date, I rode back to Charlotte with Joss and Kurt. We spent most of the week dealing with funeral arrangements. By the day of the funeral, I felt like I had cried a lifetime of tears. I hadn’t allowed myself to cry like this since…
Max
.

Who am I kidding? I still cry over Max…just not as often as I used to
.

Piper came from Texas with her brothers. I insisted that they all stay in the house with me. I really didn’t want to be alone.

My aunt’s next door neighbor, Mrs. Henry and her niece Polly helped organize a reception at the house after the ceremony. Half the town came to the funeral and the other half brought food to the house after. I had never seen so much food. Saying goodbye to my aunt, the only mother I had ever known,
was excruciating. Standing there surrounded by people who knew and cared for her made it bearable.

Piper and I were in the kitchen taking a breather when I glanced into the living room and noticed a man I didn’t recognize but had seen earlier at the grave site.

“Who is that?” I asked Piper.

“Who?”

“The sandy haired man by the mantle. He keeps staring at me.”

She shrugged. “I don’t know but I noticed him at the grave site earlier.”

Looking around, all I saw were strange faces. “I feel like I should know all of these people but I don’t.”

“Earth to Ellie, you have been away for the past four years and your aunt knew a lot of people. Quit feeling guilty. Do you want me to find out who he is? Maybe he and old Elizabeth had a hot thing going? Maybe they were playing hide the sausage while you were gone.” She wiggled her eyebrows, trying to make me laugh.

Vintage Piper
.

Just thinking about my aunt and sex made me cringe. “Maybe Mrs. Henry knows him. I’ll ask her later.” I lost focus on the man when I felt a hand on my arm.

“Ellie, I haven’t formally introduced you to Polly,” said Joss. “She works with Kurt at the bar and has become a good friend to me.”

Polly Henry was a knock out. Like Joss, she had long curly hair but, whereas Joss’ was natural, Polly’s was not. She had big blue eyes and was about an inch shorter than my five nine.

“Hey there Ellie,” said Polly. “I sure am sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you, Polly. I didn’t realize you worked for Kurt?”

“I just started.”

“Well, thanks for taking care of all of this.”

“Shit, it’s the least we could do. Your aunt was a…kind woman.”

I almost laughed when she said this. My aunt was many things, but kind was not typically one of them.

“I used to stop by my aunt’s on the weekend to check up on her,” she continued. “She and Elizabeth were always up to something or another. She talked about you and your studies a lot. She sure was proud of you.”

I didn’t even know that my aunt knew her next door neighbor
.

“Has your aunt lived here long?” I asked.

“A couple of years now.”

“Well, I’m happy to finally meet you Polly and good luck with your new job.”

“Thanks. Hopefully I’ll see you around now that you’re back in Charlotte. Maybe we could hang out sometime?”

“Sure, I’d like that.” I didn’t bother to disavow her of this notion because, well, I really didn’t know what I was going to do. A part of me wanted to come home. Another part of me was afraid. It had taken most of the past five years to start moving forward. Would coming back to Charlotte with all of its memories just be a major setback?

One step at a time, Ellie
.

A little while later Benny and I were discussing the merits of frozen casseroles when I noticed the man from earlier. “Hang on a second,” I told him and walked across the room to introduce myself. “Hi, I am Ellie Davis,” I said, holding out my hand. “I don’t believe we’ve met before. Were you close to my aunt?”

“A long time ago, I was,” said the deep voiced stranger. I placed him in his early forties which would be too young to have dated my aunt.

Hmmmm
.

“And your name is……?”

“Uh… Samuel. My name is Samuel.”

“Well Samuel, do you have a last name?”

“As a matter of fact, I do.”

I couldn’t help but notice his nice smile and that he seemed oddly familiar.

“Well?”

“My name is Samuel Davis,” he said holding out his hand. “I am your aunt’s brother which would make me your father.”

Oh My God
.

Not expecting this, I choked out, “Excuse me for a minute.”

I found Joss, Piper and Kurt huddled in a corner. Latching on to whomever I could get my hands on, I said, “Come now,” and pulled them out of the room and up the stairs while trying not to freak out.

“Ellie, what’s wrong?” asked Kurt.

“Shit, shit, shit.” I chanted all the way up the stairs and into my bedroom. Closing the door I blurted, “That man downstairs, the one I was just talking to, claims he’s my dad.”

“What?” gasped Joss.

“The one we thought might be doing your aunt?” Piper asked.

“The one you thought,” I corrected.

“What is he doing here? Did he say what he wanted?” Kurt asked.

“No. I went all Xena Warrior Princess on his ass and practically forced him to give me his name. Why now after all this time?” I asked.

“I wanted to say goodbye to my sister. I also wanted the opportunity to see you and to talk to you,” he said from the doorway.

“Shit!” Piper and Joss both screamed.

“Ahhhh!” I shouted.

“Sorry,” he smirked, “didn’t mean to scare you. I just figured that if I didn’t get up here and say my peace pretty quickly that you’d be showing me the door.”

I was standing in the room with my father. This was hard to take in. “But…why now?”

I repeated.

“You got a lot of time? This might take a while.”

I just stood there and stared at him.

My father, the man who didn’t want me to be born, is here
.

“El, maybe you should hear him out?” said Kurt.

I couldn’t help but snap when he said this. “Really? Did your father abandon you at birth and leave you for his sister to raise? Did you grow up with no parents? No, Kurt, that was me.”

“That’s fair, but I would at least like the chance to tell my side of things,” Samuel said.

“Your side…of
things
are irrelevant now. I am a twenty-two year old adult who is well past needing a daddy. Your side of
things
would have been welcomed, oh let’s say twenty years ago.”

“Look, I get that you are angry and have a shitload of pent up resentment but there are always two sides to a story. I would like the chance to tell you mine.”

“And then?”

“And then nothing… or everything. I’ll let you decide.”

“I have to think about it,” I told him.

“That’s fine. I am staying at the Marriott by the mall, room 405. I leave Thursday. Think about it.” Staring, as if memorizing me, he said, “I’ll let myself out.”

Three days. I had three flipping days to decide if I wanted to talk to my dad or not.
Crap
…..

~Five years earlier

I had gone through my daily routine of work and school and was crawling through Max’s window when I thought I heard something. Pulling myself over the sill, I shrieked when two hands grabbed me and yanked me inside.

“I knew it!” Kurt shouted. “What the fuck, Ellie?”

“God, you scared the shit out of me!” I shouted back.

“What are you doing here?”

“What I do every night, Kurt,” I sarcastically replied. “What are you doing here?”

“Following your ass.”

“Why?”

“Oh, maybe because Joss and I are worried sick about you, Ellie. Have you looked at yourself lately?”

“Sure,” I lied. I hadn’t looked at myself. I was afraid of what I would see.

“You are lying because if you looked at yourself you would see the dark circles under your eyes and how crazy skinny you’ve become.”

“I can’t eat, Kurt, and when I sleep, all I dream about is Max. The only decent sleep I get is when I am here in his bed.”

“God, Ellie. Every fucking day I think of something and have my phone in my hand dialing Max’s number, when I catch myself. I miss him so damn much but you…you are letting it kill you.”

“I know in my head that he is gone, but I just can’t convince my heart. I can’t make sense of anything right now.”