His Ever After (Love Square)
Read His Ever After (Love Square) Online
Authors: Jessica Ingro
All Is Fair In Love and War…
By
Jessica Ingro
Published by Jessica Ingro
Copyright © 2013 Jessica Ingro
HIS EVER AFTER
Copyright © 2013 Jessica Ingro
Cover design © Arijana Karčić, Cover It! Designs
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Kindle Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Amazon.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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Dedication
To my husband, Dave. You’re my own ever after.
Table Of Contents
Excerpt from
Rock My Heart
by Selene Chardou
Excerpt from
Kitchen Promises
by Brooke Cumberland
His Ever After Playlist
The Dreaming Tree – Dave Matthews Band
If Time Is All I Have – James Blunt
Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Goodbye In Her Eyes – Zac Brown Band
Love Somebody – Maroon 5
Black – Pearl Jam
Best Of You – Foo Fighters
Gimme Back My Bullets – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Obsession – Animotion
Evil Woman – Electric Light Orchestra
Everything Has Changed – Taylor Swift (feat. Ed Sheeran)
Just A Fool – Christina Aguilera (feat. Blake Shelton)
White Horse – Taylor Swift
I’m Alive – Kenny Chesney (feat. Dave Matthews)
Come On Get Higher – Matt Nathanson
Demons – Imagine Dragons
Ready For Love – Bad Company
All I Want Is You – Miguel (feat. J. Cole)
Gone, Gone, Gone – Phillip Phillips
Faster – Matt Nathanson
Sirens – Pearl Jam
Mirrors – Justin Timberlake
Blue Sky – The Allman Brothers
Feel Again – OneRepublic
Stay – Rihanna (feat. Mikky Ekko)
Cry with You – Hunter Hayes
Sure Thing – Miguel
Wanted – Hunter Hayes
Just Breathe – Pearl Jam
Chapter One
The room is dark except for the faint light being cast by the lamp in the corner. It is pathetic that my life has come to this. I have no clue how it got so out of control. Some might say I’m a pussy, hiding in my own home, but I’ve found it’s easier to avoid conflict rather than provoke it. Besides, putting myself through this torture is far easier when I’m alone and when no one is aware of the extent of my soul crushing loss.
A year ago, I had the world in the palm of my hands. The one woman I saw myself growing old with was sitting across the table from me in a pub in Pennsylvania. She was more beautiful than I remembered – if that was possible. And when she smiled at me, I felt like the only man in the room. Now, here I am, wallowing in self-pity while she’s playing house with her husband. She’s probably painting the mother fucking nursery right about now. I feel my hands clenching into tight fists at the very thought.
I can picture her, clear as day, with her hair pulled back in a messy knot that always looked so adorable on her, wearing her signature yoga pants and glowing as she smiles at something that son of a bitch said. It should be me that she’s smiling at. It should be me who gets to wrap his arms around her and
my
hands lovingly caressing
my
child that’s growing in her belly.
Unfortunately, it’s not me doing all those things, and it’s all because I’m a dumb fuck who thought with his dick and screwed up the best damn thing to ever happen to me. When Brooke came into my life, she was so sweet and loving. She reminded me so much of Sam that I thought with her, I had a chance to have it all. I never thought Sam would have left Aiden for me. I waited so damn long to hear her say those words. Too bad the timing of them was complete shit.
Time
. All I needed was some time before Sam and I could be together. I didn’t realize the night I pushed Sam away and asked for more time, it would be the last real chance I got to be with her. If I knew then what I know now, things wouldn’t have gotten so out of control. Hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
I pound back the last of my bourbon, listening to the ice clink against the glass and echo into the silence.
These days I crave the silence. This is the time when I can sit alone and remember. The time when I can close my eyes and smell her, feel her warm, soft skin and hear her magical laugh. I can pretend we’re lying on the couch together, wrapped up tightly while watching a game. Or that we are snuggled in bed after a bout of really hot, mind-blowing sex. It’s also the time when I can read her words and surround myself in the warmth of the time we spent together. My memories are all I have of her now.
I’ve read her book at least a half dozen times. I love reading about how much she loved me. And I love sitting back and remembering our time together. It’s always wild to hear our story being told from her point of view. It’s also validating to know that she felt our connection as well and was as crazy about me as I was about her.
What I don’t like hearing is how lost she was after I hurt her. How my betrayal aided her downward spiral to what she calls her rock bottom. I could kick my own ass for hurting her so badly. If only I could tell her that our “love square” wasn’t actually a square at all. If only I could tell her that I love her with an intensity that is destroying me inside.
I had my chance at happily ever after, though. I held a precious, beautiful butterfly in my hands, but let it get away. I could never do what every fiber of my being is begging me to do. I could never tell her how I feel and potentially cause her more heartache. They say if you love someone enough, you need to set them free. And I love Sam enough to step back and let her build the life she deserves with Aiden. That isn’t me being a good man… because I’m not. It’s me giving her the one thing I have to give.
I flip the pages of the book until I come to one of my favorite parts of the story, when fate handed me the perfect chance to reconnect with my one true love.
***
One year earlier…
“I love my kids, but sometimes they’re a real pain in my ass,” my sister, Emma, says into the phone. Emma is a real spitfire. She lives her life with passion and has no idea what it means to keep her mouth shut. She’s just like our mother. She looks like her too, with her long black hair and the same green eyes as me. It’s almost like looking at pictures of my mom when she was younger. Every now and then, when I look at Emma, the pain of losing my mom so quickly when I was only nineteen seems to intensify. You’d think after all these years it wouldn’t hurt as much as it does.
My mom did everything she could to make sure we had a good life that was full of love. She had such a spirit and an aura about her that drew people to her. Every weekend in the summer we would host a neighborhood or family barbecue, and she was always the perfect hostess, making you feel welcomed and ensuring you had a good time. I remember her laughter and smiles. Rarely was there a time she didn’t have them, even when she was sad or struggling.
And above all else she was a rock for me to lean on. Even as a teenager I considered her one of my good friends. There was nothing I couldn’t talk to her about.
So when she broke the news to us that she had stage three lung cancer, my world tilted. I don’t think it has ever fully righted itself either. The year I got to spend helping to take care of her is something I cherish. My dad, Emma and I really leaned on each other during those dark days. It’s one of the reasons why Emma and I are as close as we are. Living through that much pain, sorrow and grief, you learn to appreciate who and what you have. I’m a lucky man to have such a wonderful family. Not everyone can say that.
“What did the two little angels do now?” I ask, referring to my nieces, Candace and Grace. They are little divas in the making. You have to be on your toes at all times with those two.
“Surprisingly, they didn’t do anything this time. I’m just upset because my babysitter backed out and now I can’t go to a book signing that I was really looking forward to attending.” She clears her throat and I just know what is coming next. “You wouldn’t want to be a dear and watch your nieces for me, would you?”
“Sorry, sis, but a book signing is not my idea of a worthy enough reason to drive four hours.” I really hate the drive to her house when I’m only going to be there a little while before I have to get back on the road and drive home again.
“But the girls have been talking about you all week. They were so sad when you had to cancel your visit last weekend. You wouldn’t want to disappoint them again would you? You might make them cry and I
know
you wouldn’t want that to happen.” Emma’s voice is cajoling. I can’t believe she actually thinks she has a chance of pulling this off.
“Nice try, but no. Sorry.” I laugh into the phone at her attempt to guilt me into submission.
“Fine,” she sighs heavily. “I just thought it would be really cool to meet an author from our hometown.”
“Really? Who’s that?” I’m intrigued by who this could be. I was unaware anyone from home was famous enough to warrant a book signing.
“Her name is Samantha Monroe… Hey, wait! Didn’t you date someone by that name a long time ago? I knew her name sounded so damn familiar.”