But then Cera had come back into his life, and for a while, he’d thought he was getting better. That she was helping him get better. He’d even thought about asking her to go furniture shopping with Leo, as Hank had been hinting to him for ages.
Then Santa Fe happened.
And now, here he was in an office with only a simple desk and one wooden chair. Clad in Prada but living like a monk. Making his big brother nervous.
He wished he could tell Max he was fine. But…
“I have bigger priorities than office furniture these days.”
“So you’re still butt hurt over Pru 2: Miami Boogaloo?”
“Christ, Max, how many times do want your nose broken?” Gus asked him between clenched teeth. “Because if you ever call her that again, I’m going to punch you.”
“I’d actually be cool with that,” Max answered, clapping him on the shoulder. “At least I’d know you were still alive in there.”
“I’m still alive, Max,” he assured him. Which was true, even if only barely. He was still breathing, just never without thinking of her.
“I’ll pay you back.”
“Cera, please don’t go. I can’t breathe without you, baby.”
“So…what was in the envelope you got from her this morning?”
Fucking Donna.
He was seriously going to have to consider firing her. But he told Max the truth. Mostly because he was the only one in the world he could talk with about this stuff. The only other person he knew carrying around a shitload of baggage underneath a pretty façade.
Max had managed to unpack that baggage with Pru. But in Gus’s case…
“She sent me back the August cashier's check, and a personal check on top of that. Everything left from the June payment, plus two thousand. Nearly every non-rent dollar from her first check at her new job. She barely left herself enough to live on.”
Gus let his head fall against the window’s cool glass. Hating himself. Hating what he’d done. Hating that he couldn’t fix it.
He must have presented a pretty miserable picture, because instead of coming back with yet another unhelpful quip, Max gave his shoulder a brotherly squeeze. And then they both stood there for several moments, looking at the building Gus had just bought.
“You know,” Max said eventually. “I came in here with a vague plan to get you to try to punch me. Snap you out of this Morrissey impression you’ve had going on all August. Pru said it wouldn’t work, but hey, you know me.”
Gus snorted and shook his head against the glass. Yeah, that sounded like a Max plan. “Pru was right, that would not have worked.”
“Huh…” Max wagged his head back and forth. “Right. Wrong. Who’s to say?”
“I’m to say, Max. And I’m telling you it wouldn’t have worked.”
“Whatever. The point is, I’ve decided to go with a new tack. What do you need from me to help you out with this situation, Little Bro? Whatever it is, I’m here for you.”
Gus was about to answer that there was nothing Max could do. Nothing anyone could do. But then an idea occurred to him. One that made him lift his head from the glass.
“Actually…” he said. Then he told Max his plan.
22
“Cera…Cera wake up!”
Cera woke up, her left cheek glued with drool to a sheath of grant applications.
“What the…” she said, raising her head.
She found Gus smiling at her, his eyes lit with immeasurable fondness, despite the grant paperwork stuck to the side of her face.
“When you didn’t show up at the office for our lunch date, I figured you must have fallen asleep grading papers again,” he said, holding up a cup of coffee.
He then peeled the application off her face, and pressed a white cup with a green logo into her hand. “Guess who just signed a deal to get a major brand kiosk installed on our bottom floor?”
“Congratulations, honey!” she cheered, taking a sip. One sugar and lots of cream. Just the way she liked it. His thoughtfulness made her heart as warm as the brown liquid currently giving her the caffeine boost she so desperately needed.
“Thank you,” she said. “You’re a saint for bringing me this.”
He held up a white paper bag with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Hank brought over some sandwiches. Want me to feed it to you like the old days?”
“No, thank you,” she answered as she moved a few stacks of papers aside to clear some space on her desk. “I’m still getting used to the sensation of actually seeing my hot boyfriend as I eat.”
Gus threw her a disgruntled look as he laid the sandwiches out on paper plates, which he produced out of nowhere.
“I knew you’d say that,” he grumbled. “I tell you, baby, some days I think you’re only in this for the eye candy.”
“Gus, honey, you know that’s not true,” she answered with a cheeky grin. “Obviously I’m in it for Hank’s gourmet lunches.”
Gus just chuckled as he took a seat across from her. “I’ll take it.”
“But seriously, thanks for bringing me lunch,” she said
“And the coffee,” he reminded her. “You really needed coffee.”
“And the coffee,” she added.
“No problem. It’s one of the perks of you working right up the street from me.”
After buying this building, she’d been shocked to find out it was literally down the block from the Sorley, which would be opening next month.
She loved the old stone estate, but the location was turning out to be one of the best things about her new job. Gus often stopped by between meetings to either have lunch with her or steal a kiss. Sometimes more than a kiss.
“This is so nice,” she said with a happy sigh.
“Yeah,” Gus agreed, his dimples flashing as he threw her a sexy smile. “I just wish it was real.”
Cera frowned at him. “What do you mean?”
Gus looked up at her over his sandwich with that same look of regret and sorrow she remembered from Santa Fe.
“I just wish we could really be together like this. I wish it wasn’t a dream.”
“But it isn’t a dream.”
But of course it was. The sandwich in her hands suddenly turned into sand. Streaming through her fingers before she could so much as take a bite.
Then she woke up. Again.
This time in a classroom.
And instead of a grant application, there was a piece of first grade homework stuck to the side of her face.
With a few blinks of her tired eyes, it all came back to her. She’d recently landed a position at an elementary school in Liberty City, subbing for a Special-Ed teacher on maternity leave. And though it wasn’t the permanent position she’d hoped for, she’d welcomed the challenge of teaching a classroom of special needs children.
And at least she’d gotten the job on her own, with no interference from a certain “mysterious benefactor” who turned out to be a big old lying ghost from her past.
However, waking up meant she didn’t have an office at the old estate garden house. She hadn’t bought it. Which meant Gus wouldn’t be stopping by with the over-the-top sandwiches Hank made for them every day.
Not that she wanted him to. She hated him, and never wanted to see him again.
Except apparently in her dreams. Where he showed up on a near daily basis.
Stomach grumbling, Cera grabbed her brown paper bag lunch and pulled out a decidedly non-gourmet sandwich.
Did he ever dream about her the way she dreamed about him?
Cera shook that question from her head, chastising herself for even asking it.
Don’t let him haunt both your dreams and your waking thoughts
, she told herself.
Then she finished her lunch with one hand while grading papers with the other. When she was done, it felt like it was her thoughts of Gus that she was throwing away when she crumpled up the brown bag and chucked it into the nearest wastebasket.
You’re paying him back
, she reminded herself as she walked out of the classroom and locked the door behind her.
That’s all that matters.
And she
was
literally paying him back. She’d just sent him the August check back, along with a personal check for what was left from the June money plus $2000. Absolutely every non-essential dime she had made since starting this job two weeks ago. It would barely make a dent in her debt, but it was a start.
That was probably why she couldn’t stop thinking about him, she decided as she walked down the hallway. Not because she missed him—that would be crazy after what he’d done. It had to be because she was so determined to get on with her life.
Yeah, yeah, that had to be it,
she thought as she walked out of the brown brick building.
She was so busy trying to convince herself, that she nearly walked past the woman leaning against the flagpole without seeing her.
But then the woman called out, “Cera? Cera Winslow?”
When she turned around, the woman pushed off the flagpole and gave her a dazzling smile. “Hi, I’m Pru. Pru Washington-Benton.”
She then tilted her head with a bemused look. “Max wasn’t exaggerating. I do look a lot like you.”
Cera just raised her eyebrows. She and this woman both had warm brown skin, short curly hair, long legs, and rather ample breasts. If not for the fact that Pru was wearing heels to her more sensible flats, they probably would have been the same height, too.
But other than that, Pru was dressed in what looked like authentic 70s-era hot pants and a white peasant blouse, while Cera wore one of the cheap shirt dresses that had gotten her through her student-teacher requirements. Also, Pru was at least twenty pounds lighter than Cera, and just about glowing with a vivacious cheer that put Cera in mind of models from a vintage Sears catalog.
But despite this, Pru told her, “You should have looked into Vegas when you decided to go back to school. One dance minor later, you wouldn’t have needed Gus’s money to get by.”
“He still probably would have figured out a way to manipulate me into his bed,” Cera answered, crossing her arms over her chest. Feeling cheaper by the minute in comparison to the lovely creature standing in front of her.
“I can’t argue with you there.” A shadow passed over Pru’s face. “Irritating but true, those Benton brothers have a way of getting what they want. By any means necessary.”
“Is that why you’re here?” Cera asked her. “Another manipulation?”
Pru shook her head. “Not exactly. Gus asked Max for a favor. He purchased a certain garden estate recently, and he wanted Max to help him gift it to you without you finding out.”
Cera let out a huff of frustration, switching her back-pack from one shoulder to the other. “Why? I already told him—”
“I know what you already told him. That’s why I’m here.” Pru scrutinized her with a heavy frown. “You know, Gus was a total wreck after he got back from Santa Fe. He stayed with us for a while. Told Max everything. And now he’s walking around like a shell of his former self. Frankly, we’re all kind of surprised he managed to keep the Sorley Miami project on deadline.”
Cera shook her head. Refusing to care. “Why are you telling me this?” She asked. “Why do you expect me to care about anything concerning a man who’s done nothing but lie to me the entire time I’ve know him?”
“That’s my question.” Pru watched her closely. “Do you care, Cera?”
“Does it matter?” asked Cera, shaking her head again.
“That you can’t answer my simple question about whether or not you care about Gus directly? Yeah…” Pru nodded her own head slowly. “Yeah, actually I think it does. You see, I started looking into you right after Max told me about your…” she cleared her throat, “…unexpected meeting at Gus’s place. And I’ve got to be honest with you, I didn’t love what I found.”
Cera re-crossed her arms, shoulders hunching. “Yes, I’m well aware I don’t look great on paper after what my father did.”
Pru snorted. “Girl, if I judged everybody I met by what their fathers did, do you think I’d be married to Max?”
She pinned Cera with a direct look. “No, I’m talking about the fact that despite being well-liked and, from what I can tell, sweet as all get-out, you don’t have any real friends. Why is that, Cera?”
Cera hugged herself tighter. “I guess I was too busy. I had my sister…”
“Yeah, and she went off to her special boarding school five years ago, giving you plenty of time to start your own life, with your own friends. But nothing. No relationships, even though you’re a very pretty girl. I don’t get it. And I’m not sure you deserve all this time Gus has spent being miserable over you.”
Cera blinked at Pru. “You know what, Pru. I don’t need this. I’ve already been hurt enough. I put up with a lot of stuff I shouldn’t have from Gus, and that’s all on me. But standing here, listening to you tell me I’m not good enough for your monster of a brother-in-law because I don’t have enough friends or a proper dating history—I don’t have to stand here and listen to this.”
She started to leave, only to have Pru chase after her, “Let me tell you a few things about Gus,” she said, getting in front of Cera. “He’s a great guy—
an awesome guy
. I’ve seen girls literally line up to meet him. But I’ve never seen him give any girl the time of day for more than a week or two—other than me. And apparently, that was only because I look like you. Do you understand?”
Cera only shook her head, trying to get around her.
“I don’t care! I don’t care!” she said—not sure if she was trying to convince Pru or herself.
But Pru obviously wasn’t convinced, because she kept talking even as Cera pushed past her.
“Yes, he’s crazy. But he’s also lonely and he’s been scared shitless of being abandoned again. Just like Max. Just like you. But he took a chance on you—
Cera, listen to me
!”
Pru grabbed her by the arm, made her stop. “He took a chance on you. Now, I’m here asking you to be even half as brave as he was and take a chance on him.”
Cera looked up at the sky and clamped her lips. Then she leveled Pru with a withering look. Pru, the woman who obviously didn’t understand there was no reason on Earth for her to give the man who turned her heart to sand another chance.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” Cera said.
23
“Did she take it?” Gus asked without preamble when Max called him late the next day.