His Halloween Kisses (5 page)

He went back to lock up and took the drive home to freshen up. On the way, his body cooled, and his thoughts warred within him. Why had he asked her out to eat? How could he have kissed her again? When would he take control of himself and consider what really mattered? He needed to look to the future. He didn't want to hurt her. She seemed too vulnerable. Spunky and self-assured on the outside, but sweet and vulnerable on the inside. He had a feeling he'd break her heart if she knew everything. Maybe tonight he would tell her.

Oh well, he couldn't back out now. He'd offered her a meal, and he had to be polite and take her out. This would be the last. He couldn't make her think they could have anything permanent. Not when he didn't know if he'd stay here. Even today, he'd considered leaving. His previous boss had offered him to come back at any time should he change his mind. Not many people did that. It said something about his standing in the company he'd previously worked at. And he'd given up security, a sense of belonging, to start something new in an unknown town. Every day, he asked why more and more. Anger had fuelled his hasty departure, taking away all common sense. Or, was it more than that?

He hadn't promised her anything. Hadn't promised anyone anything. All he was doing was going out to eat. He quietened the tormenting voices inside of him as he washed his face and put on jeans and a long-sleeved cotton shirt. The nights were still cool as summer hadn't arrived yet. Soon, they would be full-on hot weather. He'd heard the summers in Newcastle could be blistering hot. He'd prepared by buying a bathing costume and a portable air-conditioning unit for his home. Why had he splashed out on furniture and appliances without being certain he would stay? A part of him wanted to stay, and that part was growing. Another part of him remained in Pretoria.

When had he become so indecisive? He'd always known what he wanted in life. This confusion broke him down piece by piece.

Ali found a seat in the grill decorated in contrasting black, red, and white. The padded red seats felt surprisingly comfortable, and she settled back in the corner against the wall, keeping her eye on the door for Byron.

After several long minutes, she ordered a soda and sipped it slowly, watching the entrance the whole time.

Had Byron absconded?

He seemed to regret kissing her every time. She loved it. No one had given her so much excitement. Kissing him got better each time. Every kiss seemed sweeter, more intimate, and sexier. She liked being with him. He wasn't only eye candy, but he seemed like a really nice person—the way he'd offered to help her with the epoxy clay, working overtime to get it done. She sensed something held him back though. Not physically, but in his mind. What was it? Yes, he may leave if his job remained uncertain, but if she really mattered to him, couldn't they work around it? Either she could move up to Pretoria to join him or— No! She wasn't going to move unless
she
wanted to. Never again.

Why was she even thinking of a serious relationship? She didn't have time or the desire for the added stress of dating. All her zeal from earlier seeped out.

“Hi.”

She hadn't seen him come in; she'd bent her head down, deep in thought.

“Hi.” Her heart seemed to stand still. He looked good casual with his cotton shirt not buttoned right to the top and his dark jeans. His hair was freshly brushed, and his face shone. Her throat clogged, and she couldn't speak for a moment.

He sat opposite her and grabbed a menu which she hadn't even opened yet.

“I would have thought you'd chosen something by now,” he said with a tease, his one brow raised.

“I wanted to wait for you.”

“You okay?”

She shrugged. “I don't know.”

“What you thinking?” He gave her that dashing, engaging eye contact that made her stomach flip upside down all the time.

“I have a problem.”

“With the clay?”

“No, no…um. Well, I'm not good at dating. I've tried it, but after my botched high school sweetheart relationship, I've kind of been…well, what can I say? A boring date. A wet blanket. A spoil sport.”

His pupils went large, and he fiddled nervously with the edge of the menu. “I can't imagine that.”

“I suppose I should be upfront from the start.” Get it out there. At least if he knew who she was, he could turn away straight away, and she wouldn't be working so hard to keep this mask on. The farce is what made her such a lousy date.

“Look.” He held up a hand. “This isn't really a date. It's just friends meeting for supper.”

“Oh.” He'd kissed her again tonight. What did the guy want?

“Well, I'm going to tell you anyway, as a friend.” She hated being psyched up to let something out and then not be able to tell it.

“You sure?” The hardness turned to tenderness.

Her lips quivered at the kindness in his gaze. “I pretty much messed it up with Ewen my last few years of high school. We'd dated for years. Everyone expected us to get married and have kids after college. The last few months of school, I wanted to concentrate on my studies to go off to university. I was going to do a Bachelor of Science in Metallurgy. I had everything planned out. Then Ewen became more serious. He asked to see me almost every night. I didn't want to hurt him, so I went out with him often. My studies suffered, and I didn't get a matric exemption for my university entrance. I was so devastated that I blamed him. Our relationship fell apart after that.

An opportunity came up to study jewellery design in Jo'burg. My uncle's firm wanted to sponsor a student and then have them work for them afterwards. I scooped up the only chance I had. I'd always enjoyed making beads and little trinkets as a teenager, and it was an opportunity to follow my interest in metals. Not exactly what I'd planned but better than nothing. I finished my studies, and just when I'd started my new job with the company who'd sponsored my studies, Ewen made contact with me again.”

A waitress came to take their order, and Byron spoke. “Sorry, we haven't even looked at the menu. I've heard from a colleague who came here that their grilled beef burger and chips are superb.” He kissed his fingers with a smack, and she winked.

“I'll take it.”

He ordered one for both of them, and all the time the waitress was full of smiles for him. So, Ali wasn't the only one who found him a looker? Her first impression of him had been definitely skewed in the dim light of a vehicle at night. Every moment she saw him, he grew more and more handsome. With his warm brown eyes and thick curls, sharp, engaging gaze, and firm, manly features…

“Continue.” He held his hands together in front of him, curiosity in his gaze. Something about his expression made her heart soften as though he really understood what she went through. Could those bands of regret from her past start to tumble off her? If only she could take his hand and squeeze, but they weren't dating. According to him.

She'd never felt comfortable sharing the things from her past. She'd made so many stupid decisions all in the name of “love.”

“Ewen wanted me back. He came to visit me, professed his love, and apologised for taking me away from my studies. I'd spent the last few years pining for him. He was my high school sweetheart, and I should have told him I wanted to concentrate on my studies. If I'd been mature enough, I'd have taken that risk and told him the truth. Those few years in Jo'burg, I regretted how I'd handled the whole thing. It wasn't his fault I hadn't reached my goals. I was the only one to blame.”

Byron nodded. “Didn't you try to tell him?”

She shrugged. “I did but maybe not hard enough.”

Byron narrowed his eyes at her. “If he cared about you, he should have given you the time. You were studying for your most important school year.”

Ali nodded. “I know. Well, now I do. I should have seen the signs. I left my job in Jo'burg at the jewellery factory—my dream job. I had just designed my first piece which would go on sale countrywide. Do you know what a feeling that was for an apprentice like me?”

“I can imagine.”

“But I left it all to come back to Newcastle for him. I let down the company and myself.”

“So, it didn't work out with Ewen?”

“How could it have? He became possessive again. He used to control every movement I made—tell me which job to apply for and what to do with my time. He wasn't happy when I wanted to stay with roommates instead of him. I started blaming him when I couldn't find employment in a jewellery store. By the time I'd found the secretarial position at the school, our relationship was over. My roommates have set me up with a couple of dates since, but I just don't think I'm ready. I don't give my all, and the guys pick it up. I'm so scared to give everything and lose who I am in the process.”

Byron opened his mouth, but nothing came out. She hoped he didn't despise her. They weren't dating, and he seemed a little like her—not ready to give his all, yet his gaze held hesitancy.

Instead of speaking, he squeezed her hand, just what she'd longed for earlier. Now she wished he would say something. But the squeeze felt good and brought some tears to her eyes. She let out a deep breath. “I'm sorry. I've given you way too much info dump for one night. You're just easy to talk to.”

His mouth flickered in a pleasant smile. “I believe I am.” He winked at her, and some of the tension eased.

Their food arrived, and they tucked in, not saying anything. She watched him, drinking in his fluid and manly movements and wished something could come of their relationship. Somehow, she trusted he wasn't one bit like Ewen. By pushing her away, he'd actually made himself more desirable. For once, she was ready to start afresh on the romantic side.

“How's the job going?” she asked between mouthfuls.

He finished chewing a chip and gazed at her. “Not good.”

“You think you'll move back up to Pretoria?”

He nodded. “It could be likely. I don't know. I had an offer last week to get my old job back.”

“So, what's holding you back? Are you not sure of the offer?”

“It's safe and I enjoyed it. The temptation to go back is very strong.”

“But?”

His jaw hardened, and he pulled back, turning his gaze across the room. He didn't want to tell her the reason.

“It's fine. You don't have to say.”

“I feel almost required to after you poured your heart out to me.” A muscle in his jaw twitched, and he averted his gaze.

Ali laughed. “I will never force anything from anyone. Ewen taught me that the hard way.”

He eventually turned to her, the shoulders and muscles in his jaw relaxing. “Okay, promise you won't be upset.”

Ali laughed. “I'm used to surprises. As long as it's nothing to do with Halloween and haunted houses.”

Byron emptied his plate, pushed it forward, and sat back. He didn't laugh at her comment, his face the most serious she'd seen it. Something in his expression expressed pain. She felt for the first time that she entered the soul of Byron, and she was petrified.

“I'm engaged.”

For a moment, she considered he may be teasing. She'd only ever known Byron to be a tease, light-hearted, and rather fun. But the taut pull of his jaw into pursed lips told her he was pretty serious. He'd kissed a woman while engaged to someone else.

Not at all what she'd expected. This type of surprise she couldn't handle.

He placed his palm down on the table. “Hear me out. We've taken some time apart. Well, she requested it.”

“I presume she lives in Pretoria and that's why you took a job so far away?”

“I thought by moving away from where she lived, I would give her plenty of space.” He let out a long breath through pursed lips. “I wanted to make her hurt. Sounds bad. Sounds like your Ewen. But really, I believed she was the love of my life, and then four months before the planned date for our wedding, she said she needed a break from ‘us.' She needed time to think, to work out if she really wanted to marry me. The wedding was put on hold.”

“Oh my. That must have hurt.” Yeah sure, he'd been dishonest, but she had to show some understanding. Even though her heart twisted painfully in her chest.

“So, you thought by coming here, she would miss you more?”

“Kind of.” He looked at her for the first time since he'd dropped the bomb of his engagement.

“And has it helped?”

“I don't know.” He sighed, his facial expression different to what she was familiar with in the short time they'd known each other. The pain, the anguish ran deep, and he'd been carrying this without Ali's knowledge. He loved her, the fiancée.

“Kelly hasn't contacted me since. I dare not send her any communication. I'm not going to make a fool of myself.”

“Do you still love her?”

“Yes…no…I don't know.”

Ouch!

“And yet you kissed me.”

Byron reached for her hand, but she pulled away. “I'm sorry. I told you I wasn't ready for a relationship.”

“If you'd told me why…”

“What? Then you would have run a mile? Besides, I tried to tell you at my house. Well, maybe not as much as I should have.”

She nodded, trying to ignore the instant stinging sensation in her eyes.

“That's unfair. She may still have my ring, but really, we don't have any type of relationship.”

“I just wish you'd told me.” She touched her lips which had been branded with an elicit kiss. Somehow, that thought didn't take those precious memories of Halloween night away. But she had to go.

“How come your mother and sister didn't say anything? They seemed to want us together.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “They never liked Kelly.”

“They could have said something.”

“At first they pushed us together, but once they saw the turmoil our relationship brought me, they backed off and actually began to suggest we break things off. Tough one.”

She shook her head. Somehow, the whole thing seemed like a crazy dream she'd wake up from on Halloween night. Maybe a witch had put a spell on her. If only it were that simple, and she could just chant some words or say a prayer, and everything would go back to how it was before she met Byron. She sipped her lemonade slowly and watched a couple talk animatedly two tables down from them. The pain in her heart seemed to rise up her throat. She pushed away the last few mouthfuls of her burger even though it was the best she'd tasted in years. She'd been hoping, actually believed they shared something special between them.

“I suppose you would like to know what went wrong between us.” His lips set in thin lines, his pupils went small, and his forehead creased. He didn't look so attractive like this, or so she wanted to tell herself. No, he always drew her, even when he looked like a lying, hypocritical loser.

“Whatever.”

“I'm sorry, Ali. I warned you I didn't want to date.”

“The kisses...?”

“I'm sorry.”

She was all too familiar with his words “I'm sorry” after a kiss. Now, she understood the phrase properly. Her face flooded with heat at how blind she'd been. She stood up and fumbled in her handbag for enough money to cover her meal, her hands shaking so much she nearly tore the bank note.

“Let me explain about Kelly and me. There's more. I wasn't finished.”

“This is finished.” She waved her hands in the air, aware she was causing a scene in the restaurant. She wasn't normally a hysterical, dramatic person, but really, how stupid could she be to have liked him?

“What?” He couldn't even look at her.

“This. Us. Whatever ‘us' was.” She slammed the R100 note down on the table and stormed out. Good thing she'd come in her own car.