His Hostage: Valetti Crime Family (A Bad Boy Mafia Romance) (8 page)

I
watch
her move in the shower, her hands moving over her skin as she lathers up her body. I’d get in there with her and fuck her against the wall, but she’s too sore. I feel like a prick for being so rough. Every time she looks at me she smiles sweetly, so she can’t be hurting too bad.

“You sure you don’t want to go out for lunch?” I raise my voice enough that she'll be able to hear it over the sound of the water. She didn’t eat anything for breakfast; I should at least take her to lunch.

She sighs heavily. “My mom wants me to go home. She thinks I’m mad at her.”

“Aren’t you?” She
should
be mad at her.

“Yes. But I don’t want her to feel bad.” I rub my jaw, deciding on how involved I want to get with this. Fuck it. She’s too sweet to watch her being used like that.

“Tell me what happened.” She stops washing her hair and looks at me with surprise. “I wanna know.”

She goes back to doing her thing and sighs. I almost have to get up to spank that ass for ignoring me, but then she starts talking. “She likes to move around and latch onto men. As long as I can remember, it’s what she does.” She rinses her hair and the lather washes down her curves. Her nipples are hard and it takes everything in me not to go to her. I want her again so fucking bad. I have to concentrate on how she couldn’t walk straight. She’s too fucking sore.

If I’d known that would have happened, I would’ve gone easy, so I could have her again.

“She always picks losers who are drunks like her or have some sort of problem.” My eyes snap up to her face and I have to try to remember what the fuck she’s talking about. Oh yeah, her mom.

“So what’s this guy’s deal?” I ask.

“Well, Patrick is a gambler and lost his house because of it. So my sweet mother bought them one after a whopping two months of chatting online.”

I huff a laugh. “And now what? She needs you 'cause he lost this one?”

“Yeah, that, and my name’s on it.”

“What?” All humor leaves me and I lean forward on the bench. Anger rises in my blood. That’s fucked up. I don’t know why I feel so defensive, but I do. No mother should do that kind of shit to their daughter. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah, she forged my name on the paperwork. Luckily, whatever bet he made he couldn’t use the house as collateral, but she drained her bank account bailing him out, and now I have to come save the day.”

“You don’t
have
to do a damn thing.” It takes a moment for her to look at me. “Except get your name off that mortgage.”

She watches me for a second and then nods her head. “It’s just...” She trails off as she turns off the water and grabs a towel to dry off. I keep my ass planted firmly on the bench so I don’t get any more ideas about fucking her. “She’s my mom,” she finally concludes.

“So?” I ask, like I don’t understand. I do, though. I really get the sympathy. But there’s a point when you’re being used where you have to put your foot down.

“If I don’t help her, no one else is there for her.”

“There’s a reason for that. There’s a reason she’s alone.” I say.

“I don’t want her to be alone though. I want her to be happy.” She sounds so sad.

“That’s real sweet of you, babe, but sometimes you have to stop letting people use you.”

She shifts uncomfortably and then sits down on the bench next to me. I grin when I see her mouth open, and her eyes close in ecstasy. She likes that little hint of pain and I’m pretty sure her clit is still throbbing, priming her for my dick again.

“Vince?” Her tone is off and I don’t like it.

“Yeah, sweetheart?” I keep my tone neutral until I can figure out what's wrong this time.

“I was just wondering what all this means to you.”

Oh. Fuck. It’s one of
those
conversations. I’m not too sure how I want to answer that. So I play dumb. “What do you mean?”

“What’s going on between us?” I know it takes a lot for her to be so straightforward, and I respect that.

“We’re having fun, babe.” The sadness that swarms in her eyes fucking kills me. I have to admit I want to keep seeing this girl. I really want to do all sorts of things to her body. I’d love to test her responsiveness, but it wouldn’t be smart. I run my hand through my hair. Fucking her this morning wasn’t smart either.

Her eyes fall to the floor, but she nods her head slightly. “I like just having fun. No strings or anything, that’s okay,” she says. I can see she’s hurt and that she wants more. She’s just saying what she thinks I want to hear. It tears me up inside.

“You sure you don’t want to go to lunch, sweetheart?” I pull her to sit on my lap, still wrapped in her towel. “I’ll take you wherever you wanna go.” Just one more moment with her, before I have to say goodbye.

She gives me a forced smile and shakes her head. “That’s alright. You don’t have to do that.” Fuck she looks so sad. Like it’s just a pity date.

“I don’t have to. I want to.” I don’t realize how true the words are until they leave my lips.

“I have to get back.” She pushes off of me and reaches for the bag of clothes from Neiman Marcus and turns her back to me as she begins to get dressed. I know she’s upset, and it hurts.

I wish I could tell her I’ll see her tonight, but I’m not fucking inviting her to dinner. I’ve got one of her textbooks downstairs and I’ll text her later tonight to swing by and come pick it up at my parents' house. That way Pops sees her, and I don’t get my sweetheart wrapped up with my Ma. That shit’s not happening. Ma will have all sorts of ideas going through her head if I bring her home.

“Take your time.” I give her a small smile that grows as she turns and smiles back at me. She’s not that upset. Something’s off, but she knew what this was. I take a few steps towards her and kiss the crook of her neck. Her hand comes around the back of my head to hold me there and I admonish her by nipping her earlobe.

“I’ll see you downstairs.” She bites her bottom lip and nods with that blush staining her cheeks.

* * *

“
Y
ou alright
, sweetheart?” She’s been quiet since she came downstairs, even after we left my place. Maybe the high that was keeping the regret from her is wearing off. I don’t know what it is. But her sweet smiles are gone now. I hope her memory isn’t coming back to her. Seeing her anything but happy makes me nervous and uneasy.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” she answers with a forced upbeat in her voice.

“It was fun hanging out with you.” I rest my hand on her thigh. We’re parked in front of a decent enough house in an average neighborhood.

“Yeah,” she says. Her smile falls and she noticeably swallows. “It was fun for me, too.” My heart drops looking at the sadness in her eyes. I don’t get it. I don’t understand why she’s so upset.

That’s a fucking lie. I know she wants more. But she can’t have it. It’s over between us. It’s better this way. She can’t be coming around after the shit she saw. Even though she forgot, I’m not bringing her around the
familia
. I can’t.

For fuck's sake, I want her, too. But I can’t have her.

Her small hand grips the handle to leave before I can get out of the car. That’s not happening. “I’ll walk you up.” I don’t give her a moment to respond. I’m out and around to her side before she can swing the door fully open. I offer her my hand, but she’s hesitant to accept. Finally, she does. She gracefully steps out and we walk in silence.

This fucking sucks. I don’t know if I want her more because I can’t have her, or if what I’m feeling is more than that. It doesn’t fucking matter though.

I can’t have her, and I need to end this in a way that she knows that. She turns to face me as we get to her door.

But I can’t go through with it. Her wide blue eyes focus on me and I find myself leaning forward and wrapping my arms around her waist. She moans into my mouth and kisses me back.

I shouldn’t be doing this.

My tongue dips inside, tasting her. My hands find her ass and grip her cheeks. She pulls away from me. Her breathing comes in pants. She wants me. I nip her bottom lip and give her one more kiss.

I may not be able to see her after tonight. But I’m not going to crush her heart until I absolutely have to. I don’t want to see her sad. I don’t want her angry at me. Not like she was. I fucking love this side of her. I love that she wants me.

“See you later, sweetheart.”

She hums in satisfaction and watches me as I walk to the car.

I wait to leave until after she’s in the house.

I’ve gotta get some shit done and then I’ll send her a text. My heart hardens in my chest. The
familia
comes to Sunday dinner. I don’t want her around them. I know by now everyone will know. An intense urge to protect her makes my muscles tight as I drive away.

I’ll just show them she’s fine. Let her wait in the foyer or something where they can see her. Then she can go.

And then I’ll really have to say goodbye.

“
I
said I’m sorry
, Elle.”

I hear my mom’s voice, but I ignore her as I look through the bills again. I can’t fucking believe this.

“I can’t afford this!” I yell, interrupting whatever she was about to say. I'm sitting at my desk chair, and I finally turn to look at her. She’s pale and gaunt looking. She hasn’t taken care of herself. Not recently. Not ever. And it’s noticeable. Her blonde hair is pulled tight into a ponytail which makes her skin look even more wrinkled and her face more sunken in. I don’t even recognize her.

“Of course you can. They wouldn’t let me take out the loans if you couldn’t afford them.”

“No! I can’t!” I can’t help the anger heating my blood. I’m going to have to drop out of school. There’s no way I can afford to live on a grad student’s wage and only work part-time in the lab in order to pay this shit off. My heart sinks in my chest. I shouldn’t have to. I shouldn’t have to do this.

“How many more?” I ask her. She’s done this shit before. I know she’s hiding some. Ones that she isn’t
that
overdue on.

“Those are the only ones with your name on them.” Her eyes widen as she puts her hand over her heart. Her voice lowers as she cries. “I only did it because I had to.”

“You didn’t
have
to do it!” I’m still angry and still screaming, and that’s not what she expects. I can’t help it though. It’s so true. “You don’t have to make my life hell.”

She shakes her head and starts to speak, but I stop her.

“Don’t! Don’t you dare. I’m going to have to quit school now. You know that?” Oddly enough though, quitting school seems like more a relief than anything else.

“You have to know I didn’t mean for this to happen. I promise you, Elle. I’m going to fix this. I kicked him out. I did. It was stupid of me. I’m going to my AA meetings, I swear!”

Her eyes plead with me to forgive her as her hands clasp in front of her and tears fall down her face. It melts my anger and just makes me sad. I feel pathetic believing her, but I really do. I can help her. I know I can.

“I’ll figure this out, Mom.”

She practically runs to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders, crying as she says thank you and sorry over and over again. I pat her back and try to comfort her until I can send her away.

I stare at the closed door and feel sick to my stomach. She hasn’t paid a single dime on the mortgage. So there’s a couple grand that I owe there. But what’s even worse are the credit cards. Cash withdrawals of thousands of dollars at 22%. I’ll consolidate. I don’t know who’s going to give me a loan for that amount. But I’ll find a way. I sift through the papers and mentally calculate what I need. A little over 26k in total. My heart sinks. I made 22k a year at my old college, and a measly 14k being the night shift part-timer in the lab. I have nothing saved up because of her last “situation”. And I make 26k at this university and haven’t found a job here yet.

My head falls into my hands. There’s just no way. I don’t see how anyone would loan me the money.

I’ll try. The least I can do is try. I stand up from the desk and breathe in deep. I’m not going to cry because that accomplishes nothing.

I take one step and wince. I can still feel him inside of me. I feel raw and sore, but I love it. It’s a strange feeling, finally giving myself to someone.

I shake my head and sigh as I lay down on the bed. It’s not even made. All my stuff is still in moving boxes, along with my sheets. I don’t have much. But it’ll feel better once this room looks like my old bedroom.

I close my eyes and remember his hands on me. The heated looks he gave me as he fucked me. I moan and clench my thighs, loving the soreness. I want him again and again. I loved the way he fucked me. I’ve really been missing out.

I pop up and and dig in my purse for the birth control pills. It’s a few hours late, but it’ll be alright. I bite the inside of my cheek. Maybe I should get the morning after pill too. I feel my cheeks flame and I start feeling … dirty. I don’t like the tightness in my chest. I wanted the whole experience and I got it. Maybe I’m naïve or stupid. I don’t know, maybe I’m a slut for wanting that. I swallow the lump in my throat and grab my bottle of water to swallow down the pill. It doesn’t matter now. I got what I wanted.

My heart hurts. I don’t know what to think. One moment he’s noncommittal, the next he’s kissing me like he needs the air in my lungs to breathe.

I understand it probably seemed like a hookup last night, but I can’t help wanting more.

I roll my eyes. Of course I’m being a clingy bitch. No man wants that. And that’s not what this was. It may have felt like more to me, but I’m sure that’s only because he was my first. I wonder if I told him that last night. I’m too embarrassed to ask. I pick up my phone and scroll through the contacts. Before we left he called himself from my phone so he’d have my number. I like that. I like how in charge he is. My eyes widen as I look at the screen and see it light up with a text from him.

Shit! I didn’t press send or anything, did I? I stare at it for a moment trying to figure out what the hell I did before I realize he’s the one who sent me a text. My heart beats rapidly and I find my body heating with nerves.

What the hell? I feel like I’m in high school again. I calm my nerves and realize the reason he's texting is just that I've left one of my textbooks back at his place.

That was stupid of me. Also… I’m gonna need that so I can sell it. These books aren’t cheap.

As I’m debating how to reply, another text comes through:

M
eet
me at my parents' house, it’s closer to you and I’ll be there tonight at 5.

T
he text is followed
up with an address. I wonder if I should wait a few minutes before responding, but I’m pretty sure he can see that I’ve read them anyway. I cringe. I wonder if that looks clingy. I don’t want to look that way. I wanna seem laid-back. Eh. Whatever. I shrug my shoulder and send a reply.

T
hanks
. I’ll see you then.

A
nd thanks
for the orgasms this morning. May I have another? I laugh at my inner thought. I am not sending that, although it’s exactly what I want to say. He’s sweet and funny. And fucks my body like it was made for his dick. My thighs clench again.

Damn, one time and I’m a sex addict. I put down my phone and sit up, ready to get my mind on something else. But then I remember the shit my mother left me saddled with, and my heart sinks. I bite the inside of my cheek. I need to get my ass up and go look for a job. Make that jobs. One for myself, and one fit for a recovering alcoholic. I’m not going to waste my life taking care of her. She needs to get her shit in order. I nod my head with anger as I pull my laptop from my bag and open it up on the desk.

Everything’s going to be just fine. Even as I think the words and try to believe them, something deep in my gut is telling me it’s a lie.