Authors: Alicia White
Three weeks later
She walked around her little house in a dazed state. She hadn’t been the same since leaving them. Her whole body hurt, and she wondered if she would ever be happy again. She remembered when her house felt like a sanctuary for her. Now she felt like she was trapped. She paced around the living room, wishing that she could see them, just hear their voices.
She had heard from her publisher a few days ago.
Alpha’s Mate
was one of their favorite books. When she opened that e-mail, she had grabbed her phone, wanting to call Josh to share the news. She ended up putting the phone down and realized that there was nobody she could call. She had no one. She had rejected them, the two men that had shown her love and acceptance. She had not shown them those things.
She wanted to run to their house and beg for forgiveness, but too much time had passed. They hadn’t come to see her once. She had even left her windows open at night, didn’t close the iron bars to lock them out. She had unloaded her gun and put it under her bed. She knew that she wouldn’t ever shoot Gabe or Josh. She didn’t want to hurt them or their pack.
Her life flashed through her mind. She was lonely, had been for too many years to count. She had locked herself inside her home, becoming a recluse with no life. The only thing she had was the fantasy world she created on her computer and it wasn’t helping her escape any longer. She didn’t have the words, her heart still hurt and she thought of both Gabe and Josh constantly. They had offered her a life with them. She didn’t want to lose them. Only one question remained, could they forgive her?
Nicole walked to the large window and looked out, staring up at the mountain. She wondered for the thousandth time what they were doing. Were they in as much pain as she was? Her stomach grumbled loudly, and Nicole stepped away from the window and dragged her feet to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, she stared at the empty shelves. She had an apple and a container of mustard. She shook her head. She hadn’t left the house since Josh had dropped her off.
She needed to take a shower and get dressed. She had to go into town and get some food. She just hoped like hell that Addison wasn’t working, but if she was, then she might be able to ask about Gabe and Josh. She smiled a little, forming a plan. Nicole rushed through the house, feeling giddy. She could talk to Addison and find out what was happening. Maybe then she could talk to them both.
Nicole hummed quietly to herself as she stepped under the hot water. She scrubbed the washcloth over her body, washing off a couple of weeks’ worth of dirt and grime. She had been so stuck in her own world of self-pity and misery that she hadn’t thought about what Gabe and Josh might be feeling. She wanted to get them back.
* * * *
Nicole pulled up to the store, her heart in her throat. She tried to calm her nerves, but she was nervous, and her stomach churned. Climbing out of her truck, she walked into the store and grabbed a cart. Walking down each aisle slowly, she grabbed various items. She wasn’t really paying attention. She just kept hoping that maybe Josh would show up like he did that first day. Each aisle she went down brought more disappointment.
She walked toward the checkout stand and saw Addison standing there staring at her. The girl looked as nervous as she felt, and that made Nicole feel better for some weird reason.
“Hi, Addison, how are you?” She swallowed hard, wondering if she would talk to her.
“Hi, Nicole.” She grabbed the macaroni and cheese and ran it over the scanner. She stared at her groceries, acting entirely too interested in what she was buying.
“Um.” She paused and took a deep breath. “How are Gabe and Josh doing?” Addison’s eyes shot up, and she made a face, obviously wondering if she should answer her question. She had left Gabe and Josh, so it wasn’t really any of her business.
“What do you want me to say?” Addison asked. Nicole shrugged helplessly before Addison continued. “Fine, they are both heartbroken and missing their mate.” She moved faster, throwing Nicole’s groceries in a pile. “I get it, you’re human, you don’t understand.” She shook her head, continuing to glare at her. “Each shifter gets one,
one mate!
You have completely ruined them. You have no idea what kind of pain they’re in.
None
. They marked you, claimed you, that means something to us,
human
.” She sneered the last word, and Nicole took a small step back.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I want to talk to them. I want to understand. I don’t want them to be heartbroken and sad.” Nicole rubbed her temples. Hearing that they both were in pain made her feel even worse.
“What are you going to do about it?” Addison put her hands on her hips and glared at her. She knew what she wanted to do about the whole situation, but wasn’t sure if she could. She wasn’t sure if she was strong enough.
“I don’t know.” She wasn’t sure if she could go to their house, but she knew that she needed to talk to them. She wanted to fix their relationship. She missed them terribly.
“I do,” Addison said and Nicole stood straighter, arching her brow, waiting for Addison to continue. “You need to make a statement, prove that you are willing to accept them as wolves. Prove that humans aren’t scared of werewolves.” Nicole swallowed hard and grabbed her forearm. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear what Addison’s plan was. “I’ll tell you exactly what to do. The question is will you listen to me?”
She took a minute to think. She did want to talk to both Josh and Gabe. She had questions that needed to be answered, and if she were completely honest with herself, she still wanted to be with them. She missed them both terribly. Her heart and body both ached for them. “Yeah, I’m willing.”
Addison smile broadly. “Good. Now, we’re having a little get-together tonight. I’ll pick you up. Dress warm. Fifty-four dollars and twenty-three cents.”
Nicole pulled out her cash and paid for her groceries. She picked up the bags, nodded at Addison, and headed out to her truck. She wasn’t sure what to expect, and her stomach started to hurt, thinking about being surrounded by wolves. She knew that Gabe and Josh would protect her. At least that’s what Josh had said. If she was truly their mate and she wanted to be with them, then she needed to overcome this fear she had.
Nicole drove out of town, staring at each person, trying to figure out if they were human or possibly more. She didn’t know anybody, had cut herself off from the outside world, and she wondered if she had done more damage to herself by locking people out of her life. She headed home, letting the cool mountain breeze blow through her hair and on her face. It felt good to be outside, to let the sun touch her skin. She was sick of being locked inside, sick of being lonely. She planned to change that with Addison’s help.
* * * *
Gabe watched Nicole, keeping his distance so that she wouldn’t know that he was following her. It had been three weeks since he had been able to touch his mate, and the wolf inside was clawing at him to run after her. It was hard to keep his distance. It had been that way ever since marking her. He couldn’t be apart from her for too long. He missed her, constantly craved her, and Gabe didn’t know what to do. He was slowly losing control. He tried to back off, wanting to give her space, hoping that maybe she was missing them as much as they missed her.
Gabe usually switched days with Josh, each taking turns to watch her. The scent hadn’t returned, the man obviously keeping his distance from her home. It still troubled him though, thinking that some other shifter had been watching her.
Today was supposed to be Josh’s day, but they hadn’t been prepared for her to leave her house. Josh had called him when she left and Gabe had driven into town to make sure that she would be safe. He knew that nobody would attempt to harm her, but he still wanted to be close by just in case she needed him.
She stayed locked inside day and night. He had noticed small changes, though. She no longer locked the iron bars over the doors and windows around her house. She no longer sat in front of her fireplace with her shotgun lying across her lap all night. Some nights she cried herself to sleep. He could hear her as he sat on the ground outside her bedroom window. On those nights, he had wanted to go to her, hold her, and kiss each tear away.
Nicole walked out of the store, and Gabe stepped back, leaning against the wall, hoping that she wouldn’t see him. She loaded up her groceries and climbed into her truck. Her eyes looked sad, and he cringed, feeling the same pain in his heart. She pulled her truck out of the parking space and drove down Main Street, heading out of town.
Would she ever come to them? He knew that she missed them. Would she ever be able to overcome her fear? He pulled out his cell phone and called Josh, knowing that he was probably still outside her home.
“Yeah,” Josh said answering his phone on the first ring, and Gabe shook his head. They had both been on edge lately.
“She was at the grocery store. She’s headed home now,” Gabe reported.
“Did she see you? Do you think she’s lost weight? She looked a little skinny. I don’t think she’s eating that much.” Josh sounded worried, and Gabe wondered how much longer they would both be able to last without her.
“She didn’t see me. I don’t think she lost weight. I think she looks a little tired.” She had been in bed a lot, but she really didn’t sleep. Instead, she laid there staring at the ceiling. Sometimes she talked to herself and other times she cried.
“What are we going to do? Are we going to follow her around for the rest of our lives? I can’t live like this anymore.” Josh sounded defeated, and Gabe hated that. After Josh had dropped her off at home, they still had hope. As each day passed, and the realization set in, they knew that Nicole wouldn’t be running to them anytime soon.
“I don’t know, Josh.” He didn’t have the answer. “I’m gonna head home now. See you there.” Gabe closed his phone and walked down the side street to where his truck was parked.
* * * *
Josh sat on the ground, leaning his back against one of the trees that surrounded Nicole’s home. He stared at her empty house, wishing that he were home with Nicole by his side. He talked to both Addison and Harper after he dropped Nicole off at home that awful day.
He pulled away from Nicole’s house, no destination in mind. He didn’t want to go home, didn’t want to talk to Gabe. Josh drove back up the mountain and ended up in front of Addison and Harper’s place. They were both relatively young still, early twenties, and finally lived alone away from their parents.
He was really upset and he hoped that they hadn’t said anything that could potentially ruin his relationship with his mate. He got out of his truck and slammed the door. He tried to calm down. He didn’t want to punish anyone in their pack, but if they were the cause for Nicole running away, he might not be able to hold himself back. Josh went the front door and knocked, waiting for Addison and Harper to answer.
Addison opened the door. “Josh, how are you? Is everything okay? Nicole, is she all right?” The concern in her voice helped to diffuse some of his anger. At least now he knew that they hadn’t caused problems on purpose.
“What did you talk to Nicole about? Didn’t you hear Gabe’s announcement to the pack?” She shook her head, looking at the ground. “We hadn’t told Nicole that we were wolves.” Her head shot up, and her eyes widened. “We wanted her to meet the pack first. We thought then that she might have a smoother transition. We thought that maybe she would accept us, believe that we weren’t a threat.”
“I’m so sorry, Josh. I honestly thought that she knew. I know that you and Gabe have been waiting for two years for her to accept you both. I thought, we thought that she knew.” She bit her lip, and Josh knew that she was telling the truth. “She seems really great, though. I’m sure she’ll come to her senses and run back to you and Gabe. We’re werewolves.” She smiled. “We’re the best at cuddling and quite loveable. Don’t worry, Josh, it will work out.” He scoffed, trying not to laugh. Addison and Harper were really sweet. He shouldn’t have even thought for a minute that they were responsible for Nicole running away.
Josh closed his eyes for a minute, feeling guilty. They were responsible for this mess. They should’ve been honest right from the start. He heard the sound of Nicole’s truck getting closer and opened his eyes, watching her pull up the long driveway. She parked her truck, jumped out, grabbed her groceries, and walked quickly into the house. She shut the door firmly, and Josh pouted. He hadn’t had any time to see her. He had hoped to catch a closer glimpse of her.
He heard her humming and felt completely confused. Why did she sound happy all of the sudden? What had happened to change her mood so drastically? They had been checking up on her daily, hoping for a sign, hoping that she would come to them. Could she be okay? Could she really be happy with moving on without them?
Josh tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. He had only been able to sleep after his body was too exhausted to move. He worked all day, ran all night, and watched Nicole. If she didn’t want them, if she didn’t accept them, he knew that he would feel this pain in his chest for the rest of his life. It wasn’t only the man that felt connected, it was the wolf, too. The wolf craved its mate.
He couldn’t stare at her house anymore. His strength was weakening, and he knew that if he didn’t leave now, he might break down the door and take her. He was becoming desperate, and his heart broke more each day she was away from them. He loved her. She wasn’t just their mate, she was the one woman meant to be theirs. Josh stood up, shook his head and walked away. “Don’t look back, don’t look back, don’t look back,” he chanted quietly to himself.