His Most Suitable Bride (23 page)

He held his breath, fighting an urge to rush her.

Finally, she set the paper on her lap and lifted her head.

What he saw in her eyes made his throat burn. Her gaze was completely closed off. She looked numb, hurt.

Somehow he’d injured her.

“Did you read item number thirty-seven?” That had been the most specific of the bunch.
She must be Callie Anne Mitchell, no other woman will do for me.

“I did.” Her voice was hollow and distant and so full of pain he felt a similar sensation strike at his own heart.

Panic tightened in his chest. “Have you nothing else to say?”

She looked down again, read the last line aloud in a flat, pained tone that spoke of heartbreak. He felt something rip inside him.

Sighing, she lifted her head. “Tell me why you want to marry me, Reese.”

Her question confused him. “It’s right there, on the paper, all thirty-seven reasons. What more do you want me to say?”

She flinched as if he’d slapped her. “I need you to tell me why I should marry you, in your own words.”

“Those
are
my own words.”

When she didn’t respond, he realized he’d made a mistake. Somehow he’d botched this and yet he couldn’t pinpoint exactly how.

The silence between them grew. His heart lurched as he watched her eyes fill with tears.

He dropped in front of her and placed his palms flat on her knees.

“Don’t cry, Callie.” He took her hands and drew them to his lips. “Please, don’t cry. I want you for my bride. Only you. There is no other woman for me. I will never want anyone but you.”

Her wet, spiky lashes blinked at him. The sadness was still there in her gaze.
Why
was she still sad?

He rose, dragged her into his arms and kissed her on the mouth. After a moment, he pulled slightly away, looked her straight in the eyes and said, “Callie Anne Mitchell, will you marry me?”

“Oh, Reese. I’ve been waiting to hear those words for a very long time.” She laid her head on his shoulder and whispered into his coat, “I love you.”

His heart soared.

Then dipped. Something was wrong. Callie wasn’t saying yes to his proposal. She was crying again. He could feel the tension thrumming through her.

She stepped out of his arms, lifted her chin and, after snuffling a little, placed steel in her spine. “Do you love me, too, Reese?”

For a moment he stood staring at her, speechless. Most of him wanted to answer yes.
Of course I love you,
his heart whispered.

He loved her more than he thought himself capable. But one small, stubborn part of him couldn’t push out the words.

For an alarming moment, he was frozen between past and present, his very future at stake. And still, he couldn’t seem to make his mouth work properly.

Callie’s lower lip trembled. “Your hesitation is answer enough.”

He reached for her, but she spun away from him and hurried out of the room.

Following hard on her heels, he called after her. “Callie, don’t go. I love you. I—”

She couldn’t hear him. She was already halfway down the corridor, slipping around the corner. He followed after her, but he was too far behind. She’d disappeared into the crowd before he could call to her again.

His heart turned to ice. His mind reeled. He knew this feeling.
This is what grief feels like. This is the agony that comes with loss.

No different than a death.

He’d vowed never to experience this type of pain a second time in his life, only to have it become his reality once again.

Throat thick, Reese stared at the sea of bobbing heads, wondering how he would convince Callie he loved her with all his soul.

It wasn’t going to be easy, but convince her he would. He couldn’t lose Callie. He’d do whatever it took to keep her in his life forever. But he would not give her another list. No. More. Lists. He would win her over with words spoken from the deepest depths of his heart.

He prayed it would be enough. It
had
to be enough.

Chapter Twenty-Three

S
till dressed in her ball gown, Callie lay on her bed, blinking up at the ornate, perfectly square ceiling tiles overhead. Tears leaked out of the corner of her eyes. She let them come, let them spill freely.

Let them blur her vision.

She was so tired. So scared and confused. Reese loved her. He
had
to love her. All the signs were in the list she held clutched against her heart. She had no doubt he’d put considerable thought into each and every item. She even understood what he’d been trying to tell her. The dear, sweet, wonderful man.

His marriage proposal had been simple, the exact words she’d dreamed of hearing from him. But there was still no guarantee he would give her his heart completely.

Without his full commitment to her, their life together would be nothing more than an empty shell of unrealized possibilities.

Why couldn’t Reese embrace the gift they’d been given, a deep, abiding love that was meant to last forever?

Rolling onto her side, Callie crumpled the list tightly in her hand and continued to cry. Dawn’s gray light cast its gloomy hue over the room. The quiet was unearthly, especially after the crushing din of the party that had only just concluded an hour ago.

Callie was going to lose Reese. The prospect was so awful that she squeezed her eyes tightly shut and begged the Lord for relief from the pain in her heart. All she wanted was for Reese to admit he loved her. Why couldn’t he say three simple words?
I love you.

Perhaps she was asking too much of him. Perhaps he’d expressed his feelings in the only way he knew how, in a list of thirty-seven requirements that only she could meet.

“Callie?” A light scratching came from the other side of her door. “Are you in there?”

She pressed her face into her pillow.

The knocking increased, growing louder with each blow of fist to wood.

“Go away, Fanny.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” The door creaked on its hinges. Light footsteps sounded on the wood floor. And then, her sister stood next to the bed.

Callie rolled to her other side. “I don’t wish to speak with you right now.”

“But you’re crying.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’ve never lied to me before, Cal, don’t start now.”

At the disapproval she heard in her sister’s voice, something inside Callie snapped. “Go. Away. Fanny.” She swiped at her eyes. “It’s an easy enough request for you to follow. You’re good at leaving.”

As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. But before she could offer an apology, Fanny laughed softly. “A valiant effort, but you won’t run me off that easily.”

Callie swiveled her head to meet her sister’s gaze. “I didn’t mean to criticize you for leaving town.”

“Yes, you did.” Fanny smiled affectionately down at her. “I can’t say I blame you.”

“You did what you thought was best at the time.”

“Very true.” Fanny came around to the other side of the bed and sat down beside Callie. “But that doesn’t take away the fact that I was impossible to live with during those initial days following my broken engagement.”

“You weren’t
that
bad.”

“Oh, I was. I was surly, short-tempered, about as inflexible as a wood plank. I only thought of myself. When I made my plans to leave Denver, escape was all I cared about. I know that’s no excuse for my behavior, but I couldn’t stand the gossip another day, or—” she gave Callie a meaningful gaze “—the censure.”

“You mean the censure from me.”

“I mean from everyone. You. Garrett. Even our parents.” Fanny twisted around and stretched out on the bed beside her. “I knew I was letting everyone down, but there was nothing I could say, no explanation I could express that seemed to satisfy any of you.”

Callie squeezed her sister’s hand. “I’m sorry I was so hard on you.”

“I understand why you were.” Fanny turned her head. “You thought I was making a mistake, the biggest of my life.”

Callie frowned at the memory of that difficult time. She’d said a lot of things to her sister, all of them true, none of them tactful. Looking back, she wished she would have spoken with more grace, less disapproval.

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I could have chosen my words better.”

“Apology accepted.”

They fell silent, each staring up at the ceiling.

“Callie, do you still believe all the things you said about Reese?”

“I—” She cut off the rest of her words and considered the question seriously, trying to remember exactly what she’d said about Reese back then. The same she would say about him now. “Yes, I believe he’s a good man, decent and loyal, the best I’ve ever known.”

“You’re in love with him.”

She kept her gaze focused on the ceiling. “I am.”

Fanny laughed delightedly. “That’s terrific, Callie.”

“It doesn’t bother you that I’m in love with the man you once planned to marry?”

“Not in the least. What Reese and I shared would not have sustained a marriage in the long run. You two are far better suited. I wish you nothing but happiness together.”

Callie had needed to hear those words from her sister, she realized. Yet her heart remained locked in despair. “Reese and I will never be truly happy if he continues to hold a portion of himself back from me. It’s not that I want him to forget his first wife. I just want him to—”

“His first wife?”
Fanny hopped off the bed and spun around to gape at her in open-mouthed shock. “What are you talking about? Reese has never been married.”

Mind reeling, Callie sat up and swung her feet to the ground. “You don’t know about Miranda?”

“Who’s Miranda?”

“The woman Reese married when he was eighteen. She died a month later in a tragic riding accident. He never told you about her?”

Fanny’s eyebrows drew together. “In the entire time we were engaged, not once did he mention that he’d been married before.”

“And yet he told me the whole story.” Callie processed this new twist in her relationship with Reese, felt a spark of hope ignite.

“You do realize what this means?” Fanny sat down on the bed beside her. “Reese loves you, Callie. Why else would he trust you with the secret of his past?”

The secret of his past.
Yes, Reese had shared much with Callie, including the pain and grief he’d experienced after Miranda’s death.

He claimed he’d loved once and once was enough. Yet, he continued to love deeply. He loved his father. He loved the children at Charity House.

He loved Callie.

He’d tried to tell her as much with his bride list. His feelings for her were written in that bold, looping script of his, the truth all but glaring at her from every item. He’d done so much more than speak three simple words. He’d spelled out his love thirty-seven unique, individual times.

She must find him and tell him she understood. She would tell him she loved him and convince him that she didn’t need him to say the words back. She would—

“What’s that you’re twisting around in your fingers?” Not waiting for an answer, Fanny took Reese’s list and began reading it aloud. “‘My bride must meet the following requirements. Number one, she must—’”

“Give me that back.” Callie snatched the paper out of her sister’s hands. “It’s for my eyes only.”

“What is it? Something Reese gave you, I can tell. I recognize his handwriting.”

Callie’s heart slammed hard against her ribs. Of course Fanny would recognize Reese’s handwriting. There were a lot of things her sister knew about Reese. It would take Callie a while to get used to Fanny knowing him so well.

Not as well as you. He never shared himself with her as he has with you.

The peace that flowed through her brought another wave of tears.

“Thank you, Fanny.” Callie pulled her sister into her arms and gave her a tight, heartfelt hug. “Thank you so very much.”

“You’re so very welcome. But, Callie, what are you thanking me for?”

“For breaking your engagement with Reese.”

“Ah, that.” Fanny stepped back and grinned. “You’re most welcome, dear sister, most welcome indeed.”

They shared a laugh.

“Oh, Fanny.” Callie’s heart swelled with sisterly love. “I pray you find happiness one day with the man of your dreams.”

“I pray that, as well. I even think I know the man already.” A turbulent expression fell over her face. “But I may have already ruined my chances with him.”

For the first time since her sister’s return, Callie realized Fanny had changed. Not outwardly. She was still as beautiful as ever, perhaps even more so. But there was a sadness in eyes, one that denoted heartache. Callie recognized the look. She’d worn it herself for years. “Has someone hurt you, Fanny? A man, perhaps?”

“Yes and no.”

“That’s an interesting answer that tells me absolutely nothing.”

“It’s complicated, Callie. Suffice it to say I misunderstood someone’s intentions and now I must either move on with my life or wallow in self-pity.”

Callie gripped her hands. “If you need to talk...”

“I know I can come to you.” She firmed her chin. “Yes, yes, but enough about me. What about you. What are
you
going to do about Reese?”

“I’m going to take the biggest leap of faith in my life. And leave the rest up to the Lord.”

“Now that’s the fighting Mitchell spirit. But before you approach Reese, I highly recommend you consider changing that dress.” Fanny’s gaze narrowed over her. “You may also wish to splash cool water on your face.”

“Is that your tactful way of telling me my gown is wrinkled and my eyes are puffy?”

Fanny pursed her lips. “You’ll also want to rethink your hair.”

* * *

The first thing Reese did the next morning was return to Mrs. Singletary’s, back to the place where he began his search for a suitable bride.

Callie had been with him every step of the way. It seemed fitting she was where his journey ended. He would not leave the widow’s mansion until he secured Callie’s hand in marriage.

A bleary-eyed Winston let him in. “Good morning, Mr. Bennett.”

“A fine good morning to you, Winston.”

The butler blinked, his brows pulling together in obvious confusion. “I wasn’t aware you had an appointment with Mrs. Singletary this morning.”

“I’ve come for Miss Mitchell.”

The confusion dug deeper across the man’s forehead. “That presents a problem, sir. Miss Mitchell left the house nearly thirty minutes ago.”

Reese’s heart took a plunge. Of all the scenarios he’d taken into account, he hadn’t expected Callie to be out when he returned this morning.

He forced down the thread of panic weaving through him and made himself speak slowly. “Do you know where she went?”

The butler’s gaze shifted around the entryway, then fell back on Reese. “I believe Miss Mitchell mentioned she was heading to your house, sir.”

Callie had gone in search of him? Joy wound through his apprehension, the sensation so profound Reese nearly lost his footing. “Thank you, Winston.”

A renewed urgency in his steps, he exited the house, his sole intent to find Callie as quickly as possible.

Halfway home, he caught sight of her across the street. His heart slammed against his chest, as it always did whenever she was near.

She hadn’t seen him yet. That didn’t stop Reese from cataloguing her every feature. The tall, lithe frame. The exquisite face and sea-green eyes. The pale blond hair pinned beneath a jaunty, feathered hat, her loose curls hanging down her back in pretty waves.

Callie. His Callie.

For too many years, she’d stood on the edges of life, content to observe rather than participate. She’d hid her true self behind drab clothes and severe hair. Never again. He would make sure she had no reason to camouflage her true nature. She was a beautiful, kind-hearted woman meant to live each moment to the fullest. With him by her side.

Pulse roaring in his ears, he crossed the street. “Callie.”

Her gaze connected with his and her feet ground to a stop. For a moment, neither of them spoke. Neither of them moved.

Reese swallowed.

The pretty speech he had planned vanished from him mind. Everything he’d been, everything he was, everything he desperately wanted to become, pinpointed to this one moment. To this declaration of his heart. “I love you.”

“Oh, Reese.” She leaped into his arms. It was more a collision than an embrace and defined their relationship perfectly. No half measures for them.

He held her tightly to him and simply breathed her in for several long moments.

“I love you, too,” she whispered in his ear. “So very much.”

They kissed, right there, in the middle of the neighborhood, for entirely too long to be considered proper.

Reese loved every scandalous, reckless second.

When he pulled back and looked into her eyes, he saw his whole future staring back at him. With their combined love and commitment to one another, they would raise their children in a happy, somewhat messy, boisterous home.

He had much to say to her, but first...

He pulled her close again and whispered the contents of his heart another time. “I love you.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of hearing that.” She sighed into his neck. “I came looking for you this morning, but you weren’t home. I was on my way to your office.”

He set her at arm’s length. “Winston kindly told me where to find you.”

“You went to Mrs. Singletary’s in search of me?”

“I came to give you the words you deserve to hear.” He took her hands, placed them next to his heart. “I love you, Callie Mitchell.”

“That’s the third time you’ve said that.”

“I plan to tell you every day for the rest of my life, three, four, five times a day, even more on special occasions.”

She laughed. “What a pair we make. I went to your house to tell you I already know how you feel about me. You don’t have to say the words, Reese.”

“Callie, my love, I want to say them. I
need
to say them.” He drew her hands away from his heart and kissed each set of knuckles. “After Miranda died I foolishly vowed never to love again, at least not with the careless abandon that had led to my unspeakable grief. I was wrong to close myself off from the possibility of loving again.”