His Outback Cowgirl (Wildflower Ranch Book 4) (9 page)

“I’ll take that as another compliment.” A smile warmed her voice. “It’s so strange looking at the sky and seeing unfamiliar stars.”

“I’ve heard the southern hemisphere sky looks different.”

“It does.” She paused. “Do you think they’re looking down on us?”

He swallowed. “Yes. I do. They’re not only looking down but also ... watching over us.”

Bridie didn’t immediately answer. “I miss him. So ... much.”

“I know.”

She moved in her bedroll again and when she spoke her voice was low. “Tell me about your mother? Henry doesn’t have any photos of her at the ranch.”

“No, but that’s okay. They weren’t together in the normal sense. How about I tell you a bedtime story? It might help you sleep.”

“Thanks. I’d like that.”

“I’d better warn you, it’s not the nicest of bedtime stories but it does have a happy ending.”

“If it has a happy ending, then it’ll be okay. The world needs more happily-ever-afters.”

“Well, my mother grew up with an alcoholic and abusive stepfather. One rodeo Henry stopped him from beating her horse and I guess that’s when my mother saw that beneath all his toughness Henry was a good man. A few rodeos later they spent the weekend together and, knowing what her stepfather would do to Henry if he found out, she made sure Henry never saw her again. Needless to say that one weekend led to a pregnancy and then twins.”

Bridie looked across at him, eyes wide. “Please tell me you and Cordell didn’t grow up living with such a man.”

Ethan shook his head. “We never lived with him at all. Mom’s pregnancy gave her and my grandmother the strength to leave. We may have then spent our childhood on the run but when Mom married Scott we were finally safe and Rick never bothered us again.”

“I’m so glad. Did Henry ever know about you and Cordell? I’m guessing not because I can’t see him letting anything happen to you either?”

“No, he didn’t. We didn’t even know who our father was. All Mom would say was he was a good man that couldn’t be with us. Then right at the ... end she told us Henry’s name.”

“And then you came to find him?”

Ethan chuckled through the pain of his grief. “Actually Cordell did. But that’s a whole other bedtime story.”

“I already know that one has a happy ending.” She stifled a yawn. “So maybe that story had better wait for another time?”

Silence again settled between them and this time wasn’t interrupted by Bridie tossing and turning. Soon the faint and even sound of her breathing told him she was finally sleep. Ethan gave in to his own tiredness.

He awoke to darkness and an intense silence. No longer could he hear the gentle rhythm of Bridie’s soft breaths. In the weak glow of the fire embers he could see her empty bedroll. He came to his feet and pulled on his jeans, shirt and boots. The night air carried the fresh scent of the lake but no sound of where Bridie could be.

Ignoring the cold ball of unease in his belly, he looked at the horses. Cloud and Captain stood sleeping. Molly had her head turned toward the lake, her ears flickering.

Ethan set off toward the water. Loyal Molly would be keeping an eye on her rider.

Moonlight cast a pale glow over the lake and reflected off the gentle ripples. To his left he glimpsed the blur of Bridie’s pale shirt. She sat on a rock, her head cradled in her arms.

A pebble rolled from beneath his boot as he drew near. Bridie’s head lifted and in the gloom he saw the shine of tears. But she didn’t look away.

“I still can’t sleep.” The misery that underscored her husky words told him that tonight was no different to any other night since her father had died.

Ethan joined her on the rock and it seemed natural to put his arm around her. She stiffened and then relaxed against his side.

“You will ... but first, as hard as it is, you need to let go. After all, that’s why you’ve come up here.”

This time when she stiffened, she didn’t then curve against him. “You know?”

“Yes. I know. The real reason, a healthy and natural reason, why you wanted to come here was to say farewell to your father.”

Her sigh emerged more like a sob. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go. I was supposed to have my emotional meltdown when I was here by myself, not ... with you.”

His arm tightened around her. “Bridie, it’s okay. I’ve been where you are. You have to let your grief out ... even if it’s poor timing.”

Her only answer was a tremor that shook her. He felt her struggle to retain control in every tense muscle and then the moment when her grief won. With a muffled sound she turned and sagged against him. He fitted her against his chest and held her while her world broke into two.

When her sobs had quieted and his shirt was soaked with tears, he still held her. An owl hooted but she didn’t stir. Exhausted and drained, she’d cried herself to sleep.

He gathered her into his arms and carried her to the campfire. He removed her boots and settled her inside the soft flannel of her bedroll. She murmured and her still wet lashes fluttered, but she didn’t wake.

Throat tight, his fingers skimmed the satin softness of her cheek to brush away her silken hair. Cordell had been right. For a non-risk taker, he’d taken a massive risk being alone with the woman he was falling for.

He swallowed. But it was too late to implement damage control. Not only was she a grieving woman who had no idea where she’d head next, she was a restless cowgirl who’d not be interested in a boring and steady cowboy. He closed his eyes as desolation barreled through him. No longer was Bridie the woman he was developing feelings for.

Instead, she was the woman he’d fallen for. Hard.

B
ridie opened her eyes to the grey light of a new day. She could smell bacon and hear a birdsong dawn chorus. It seemed everyone was awake but her. She dragged her fingers through her tangled hair and pushed herself into a sitting position. Muscles protested. Muscles that had nothing to with riding but everything to do with sobbing out her heart while Ethan held her.

She rolled her shoulders but failed to loosen the tension that felt as though it was embedded in her bones. Ethan had been right. She did need to let her grief go even if it was the worst possible timing, and in a strange way, she did feel lighter. But now the embarrassment and regret of making a fool of herself in front of Ethan created a whole new tension. It mattered, and not just a little, what he thought of her.

“Morning, princess.”

“Morning.” Ethan’s cheerful and casual tone gave her hope he didn’t now want to distance himself after her emotional eruption. “I haven’t slept in
that
long.”

He chuckled and the smell of coffee overlaid the smell of bacon and eggs as he walked over, two steaming mug in his hands. “Long enough. The moose and her baby are already awake.”

“Are they? How long have they been up? I must get another photo.”

“Not long.” He passed her a coffee.

“Thanks.”

He sat on a nearby log and took a swallow of his own coffee. “It’s not quite sunrise yet so there’s still time for your coffee to kick in and to take more photographs.”

She took a tentative sip to make sure she didn’t burn her mouth. But it was the coffee strength, not the heat, that caused her eyes to water.

She blinked. “That’s one strong cup of coffee.”

“As Henry would say you could float a horseshoe in it.” Ethan’s eyes searched hers. “I thought you might need it.”

Despite the embarrassed heat flooding her cheeks, she didn’t look away. “Thanks for last night. I’m sorry I was such a ... mess.”

“You don’t need to say anything.” Ethan’s tone was low. “Everyone deals with grief in different ways but even the strongest of us can only keep it at bay for so long.”

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“Just be gentle with yourself,” he added softly.

She took another sip of coffee to hide how much his empathy touched her. It was understandable her emotions would be raw but that was no excuse for any more tears or for the deep yearning to again feel his strong arms around her and the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek. Sure, she was attracted to Ethan but being honest with herself she knew it went deeper than that. She’d never felt such a strong and complete emotional connection before. The only thing was that she couldn’t trust it wasn’t just her grief making her feel things that weren’t really there.

To her relief, Ethan stood. “How about we add some bacon grease to that coffee and then you’ll be ready to snap photos all day?”

With her stomach full, Bridie went down to the lake to wash her face. To her surprise, when she returned, Ethan had Captain saddled. Cloud and Molly remained on the highline. While it was now lighter, the sunrise was yet to paint the sky and usher in the day’s warmth.

“How come I’m not allowed to sneak off and you are?”

She meant her question to be flippant but instead it emerged more thin and vulnerable. Perhaps Ethan wasn’t as okay as he seemed about her drenching him in tears?

He led Captain over. The wide brim of his hat stopped her from gauging the expression in his eyes. “I want to do some scouting around before it gets too hot. As Henry doesn’t graze his cattle here in summer, and Cordell and I only make irregular camping trips, the poachers could have a field day. I’ll be back by lunch.” He smiled. “You’ll be so busy taking pictures, you won’t even notice I’m gone.”

She copied his grin. Ethan didn’t seem to be avoiding her on purpose. “True.”

“If you need me, text. There are pockets of signal, especially the higher you go.”

“No worries. Molly, Cloud and I will be fine. I can’t say the same for the brownies Rosa packed. They’ll probably be all gone.”

Ethan chuckled and lifted his hand. For a second she thought he would touch her face but all he did was tilt his hat brim higher.

“See you at lunch and ... take that bear spray with you.”

“I will.”

T
he sunrise, and then the morning, passed in a sun-soaked blur. Bridie positioned herself near the lake and took pictures of the moose and baby swimming, an inquisitive squirrel, three thirsty deer and a soaring bald eagle. While she sat still and alone a rare sense of calm filtered through her. Last night’s meltdown had relieved a little of her emotional pressure. Now all she had to do was hang in there until she could come back to the mountains by herself. Then she could say a final good-bye to her father.

When her stomach rumbled, Bridie set about making lunch in the outdoor kitchen. She had hamburger patties sizzling by the time Ethan returned to camp. He gave her a wave and unsaddled Captain before coming over to the campfire. Her gaze lingered on his whiskered jaw. Finally, she got to see him unshaven and with his dark blond hair mussed. The effect was well worth the wait. Her fingers curled into her palms to stop herself tracing the line of his shadowed jaw.

They ate while they examined and discussed Bridie’s photos. With lunch over, Ethan filled a backpack with everything they’d need for an afternoon’s hike around the lake. When they were almost directly opposite to where they’d made camp, they took a break.

Bridie sat on a rock and considered her boots. “These boots are sure not made for walking.”

Ethan shrugged off the backpack, sat on an adjacent rock and passed her a water bottle. “At least they’ve stretched and come off easier now. Otherwise, you’d have spent the night wearing them.”

She nodded, strangely tongue-tied at the thought of him removing her boots when she’d been asleep. He’d taken such good care of her. Another man would have run at the first sheen of tears.

Ethan took a chug of water. Bridie looked away from the tanned column of his throat as he swallowed. The more rugged and the more untidy he looked, the more her hormones had a hard time keeping their appreciation to themselves. They didn’t care she was supposed to be finding inner peace, all they could focus was on how gorgeous he looked hot, rumpled and sweaty.

She took a quick drink and then removed her boots and socks. The lake would cool both her feet and her attraction. She removed her hat and lifted her heavy hair from off her nape. The water last night had felt so good sliding over her bare skin. Without thought, her fingers flicked down the buttons on her blue shirt. She went to pull the shirt from her jeans waist band but stilled when she realized Ethan stared at her, gaze fathomless, and jaw tight.