His Perfect Woman (Urban Hearts Series Book 1) (17 page)

Eloise did stand up then. She took her cup to the sink and washed it carefully, while gazing out the window. She seemed even smaller than usual and for the first time since Azure had been married to Jonathan, she felt sorry for his mother.

Ross’s former associate from Vanguarde sat next to him at the hotel bar. Remembering that it was Richard who’d asked him to speak at the Chicago conference over a year ago—the one that Azure had hired him from—he offered to buy him a drink.

  “Man, you had them eating out of your hand. Then you go and tell them you’re getting married.”

“Richard, I’m not here to get laid, just do a good job.”

Ross tipped his glass and drank the rest of his Jameson and water.

“You, my young friend are a mis-guided individual. Half the business at these conferences is sealed in the bedroom. Why do you think these same guys keep coming back? It’s not for your vast knowledge of human resources.”

“It’s about the money.”

Richard chuckled. “You got it. And power. And sex. It’s all about sex. If there’s a hot girl on the side, what’s the harm? You know what I mean.” Richard nudged him. “Whatever happened to CTC’s hot little number you were dogging last year? That ever pan out for you?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Didn’t close the deal, did you?”

“I’m going to turn in.” Ross laid a twenty on the bar and turned away. He told himself it wasn’t the comment about Azure that got to him. It was about his work. It wasn’t the first time he felt less than great about working a conference. The work, yes, the work was good, he loved people, loved teaching them. Loved giving speeches and having them mean something, but sometimes he couldn’t help but think Richard was right. It was about power. And money, for most people anyway. Az hadn’t thought that way. She loved the wild crazy chaos of it all, and making it all come together. He couldn’t stomach Richard talking about her.

As he crossed the lobby, he noticed the colorful gold and purple sign about a retirement party with a speakeasy theme in the Oakwood ballroom. He smiled, remembering that she’d loved the roaring twenties era. The tiny logo at the bottom caught his eye. Sponsored by CTC. He looked down the empty hallway.

The music emanated from the ballroom. Something old, but upbeat, Ross didn’t know the song. The Lindy? The Charleston? Whatever it was, it was festive and he loitered outside the double doors listening to the party inside. Chances were she wasn’t even there, or if she was he wouldn’t find her. Cursing himself for being stupid and stalking someone else’s party, he turned to go. The door opened and the sound of muted trumpets blasted out into the wide hallway. Azure Worth walked out and checked her phone. She was dressed like a twenties flapper, a diamond clip held a garnet feather in her hair.

“I don’t know why you’re checking messages, you never return calls,” he said, but he smiled. He couldn’t help but smile at her. She started and then recovered quickly.

“Ross. What-”

“The Nebraska business women banquet, down the hall.” He answered her unasked question.

“Oh.”

“I wasn’t stalking you, I promise.” Ross straightened his shoulders, suddenly tight in the new suit coat. “I had no idea you’d be here.”

“Here, in this hallway? Or here at the hotel.” She smiled, just a tiny up turn of lips colored in a deep maroon.

“The hotel, I saw the sign for the party, a corporate thing?” he asked.

“Kind of, the CFO’s retirement. The guy’s a good friend of Al Conway and they wanted-”

“You look amazing.” He interrupted her. She stopped rambling.

“So do you.”

He smiled back and stepped closer.

“I was just thinking about you,” she said, but she backed away.

“Just this second? Or all the time, like me.”

Az looked at him, a sad smile crossed her face.

Ross stopped his approach and for lack of something better to do, he put his hands in his pockets.

The door opened and a young couple came out, laughing and flushed. They stopped when they saw Az and Ross, nodded politely and walked down the hall.

“Don’t do that.” Azure reached out and tugged at his sleeve. His hand came out of his pocket and gravitated towards her.  “It ruins the line of your jacket.” She smoothed the lapel in a familiar way, as though they had seen each other this morning, instead of four months ago. “Very sharp. Hugo Boss?” she looked up into his eyes. He covered her hand, still on his lapel.

“You want to talk fashion?”

She stepped away again.

“I’m sorry, this is awkward. Sorry, I should get back to-” She indicated the party beyond the doors. The music had halted for a moment and someone was extolling the virtues of the retiree. There was laughter and applause.

“It’s been months.” Ross stood close to her, breathing her in. He’d tried to be stern, insistent. It came out as a plea.

“I’m sorry, I should have called earlier or sent an email explaining but, I needed–” Her name was called from inside the room. She stopped talking and listened. The man inside called for her again. “Excuse me.”

“Go,” he said, and pulled the door open. He stood in the dim lighting, waiting at the back of the room as she made her way to the stage where an older gentleman had the microphone.

“I knew when my good friend Patrick was retiring, that Sheridan Forbes Enterprises would want to send him off in style. I offered to put my best people on it. If you’re having a good time, it’s because of the talents of this young lady, Ms. Azure Worth. Azure, come on up here and take a bow.”

The party attendees were applauding as she stepped up to shake hands with the overly large fellow in his late sixties, a ring of fuzzy grey hair around his bald pate.  This must be Al Conway.

Azure pulled someone else up on stage, a gangly young man in an outrageous purple oversized suit. She introduced him as her co-hort from Sheridan Forbes and after some general remarks about the musicians and the food, she turned the mic back over to the band leader. He immediately went into a rousing song and folks headed to the dance floor. Az slipped around the tables to the back of the room and Ross.

“Nice work,” he said, nodding his head toward the room, elegantly transformed into a twenties speakeasy. “And you’re on a first name basis with the founder of the company. That’s awesome.”

“Mr. Conway’s really a good guy, very sweet. Would you like to meet him? I could introduce you.”

Ross thought for a moment. Knowing Al Conway couldn’t hurt his career, even Jack wasn’t in that circle of people. He shook his head.

“Not now. I want to talk to you.”

The song ended and the purple suited guy strolled by.

“Az, you should get out there and dance. People want to see you having a good time.” He smiled briefly at Ross and Ross nodded back.

“Come on,” Ross said. “Dance with me.” He tugged at her hand and after a moment, she followed. Thank goodness it was a slow waltz, because he had no idea how to do the Lindy Hop.

“So, who’s your partner in crime there?” He tilted his head toward the man who spoke to them.

“That’s Zach. He’s the event planner for Sheridan Forbes. Good guy. He’s been awesome for this whole thing.”

“This is your idea, right? I remember you talking about a roaring twenties thing.”

“You do? Wow, I don’t even remember that.”

“I remember everything.”

She tilted her head back to look at him steadily for a moment.

“I’m so sorry,” she said.

“Would you quit saying you’re sorry? It makes me feel like a jerk.”

“Sorry.” She laughed sadly.

“You haven’t been around.”

“No, I took some time off. Needed to get myself together. I guess that’s why we haven’t talked. I’m still working on that. The getting it together thing.”

With a glance around the dark ballroom, she moved closer in his arms. He became hyper aware of her. The smell of her, the feel of her elevated him as they floated together.

“Thank God for Rachel. She’s been a lifesaver,” she murmured.

“Yeah, she and Ben are good. You know about that right?”

“Yes, looks like we’re going to lose her.”

They twirled for a moment, losing themselves in the strain of the trombones.

“Remember the jazz club in Memphis?” he spoke low into her ear.

“Of course.” He felt her smile against him. She thought for a moment and then spoke. “There’s some things I need to say, but here is not the place.”

He had a red eye booked and was going to tell her that. That he couldn’t stay long, he’d just wanted a chance to see her, to hold her one last time, to say good bye, but he didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the place. She changed the subject.

“I guess there’s a wedding in your future.”

He leaned away from her in surprise. Jack must have told her.

“You know?”

“Of course I know.”

“You said to move on.”

“I see Rachel every week day. She can’t quit talking about it.”

“If you had answered my calls I would have told you.”

“I did answer.”

“No, you didn’t.  I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“You mean from Rachel? Who else would I talk to?”  She looked at him, frown lines creased across her forehead. “Wait, what are we talking about? Rachel and Ben’s wedding or…?”

“I’m moving to California.” Like California was a place you didn’t come back from. The words sounded definitive and resolute. It was such a final statement. He’d thought the end came with her note in a hotel room, but now, this moment, felt even more final.

“You’re getting married?” Seconds ticked by, beats of music, shuffling steps across the crowded dance floor—they faded away, another plane of existence.

“Isn’t that what you were talking about?” he asked it slowly, as though afraid of the answer.

The pause was almost imperceptible, but he noticed. He attributed it to the same feelings he had, the general slow heartbreak of things ending.

“Yes, of course. Yours and Dani’s. I should say congratulations.” But she didn’t. She didn’t actually say congratulations, but he didn’t notice that till much later.

“You’ve had a lot on your plate lately. Working things out with. . .the family.” Even now, he couldn’t bring himself to say his name. “How are they?”

It took her a long time to answer. She’d trembled or shivered like she was cold. He’d held her closer on instinct. She’d pulled back, into a formal dance frame.

“They’re fine. Just fine.” The song wound to a close and they moved apart gradually. An invisible gossamer thread—the one that connected them always—stretched longer and thinner until they were no longer touching and it shattered. He stood still with the shock of it. He waited for the next song so they could move together again, but she pulled at his hand and he followed her off the floor. She stopped at the edge of a vacant table. “I should get to work, and-”

“You said you wanted to talk.”

“No. There’s nothing much to say, really. I’m happy for you, Ross. You deserve a happy life, great career, tons of kids, the whole bit.”

“I wish.” He held her hand. People swirled around them. “I wish things had been different.”

She leaned in and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Me too.” She turned and walked away quickly, as though something threatened to stop her if she didn’t keep moving. She disappeared into the crowd, leaving him alone at the edge of a fantasy world.

On a weekend that Jonathan had Eli, she signed on to do a retirement party for a college buddy of her boss. The gig was in Omaha—a short trip and something fun, but the biggest thing was it got Az out of the office and away from Rachel’s love-struck smile. And, since it was a retirement party and not a conference, it was unlikely she’d run into the marketing consultant who had turned her life upside down.  Late May was a perfect time for Omaha. The trees still in full bloom and green grass blanketed the corner parks. Her friend Zach was the marketing director at the hotel and he loved her idea of a speakeasy theme from the roaring twenties.

It actually sounded like fun and Azure could put on her happy face and plan away.  Zach apparently got his era’s mixed up and showed up for the party in a vivid purple zoot suit two sizes too large for his skinny frame. But he was a decent dancer and had swirled Azure onto the floor more than once during the evening. Finally, she begged him to go mingle, and she slipped outside the banquet room for some quiet message checks.

“Don’t know why you’re checking messages, you never return calls.” Ross’s voice carried across the wide hall. Her heart jumped two beats. She looked up to see his slight smile, his hair a trifle longer on top, falling over his forehead in just the right way. He had a new suit, designer expensive and cut within an inch of his life. No tie, white shirt open at the collar and he looked spectacular.  His smile dropped when he saw her stunned reaction, a question on her lips.

“I’m here for the Nebraska Business Women’s conference, in the North hall.” He faltered, looking at his shoes. 

“I bet you were a big hit.” She found her smile again.

“Guess so.” His head tilted up at her and her throat closed. “I saw the poster board in the lobby and—” He cleared his throat. “Hell, I check every hotel I stay at, to see if CTC is hosting something and…you look amazing.” He interrupted himself.

“So do you.”

He smiled and stepped closer.

“I was just thinking about you,” she said, but she backed away.

“Just this second? Or all the time… like me.”

He thought about her all the time?  He hadn’t called. Granted for a long time she hadn’t wanted him to, but…then she’d wanted to hear from him and didn’t.  Ross stopped his approach and for lack of something better to do, he put his hands in his pockets.

The door opened and a young couple came out, laughing and flushed. They stopped when they saw Az and Ross, nodded politely and slipped down the hall.

“Don’t do that.” Azure reached out and tugged at his sleeve. His hand came out of his pocket and gravitated towards her.  “It ruins the line of your jacket.” She smoothed the lapel in a familiar way, as though they had seen each other this morning, instead of four months earlier. “Very sharp. Hugo Boss?” She looked up into his eyes. He covered her hand, still on his lapel. 

“You want to talk fashion?”

The all too familiar hum was back and doing its short circuit thing on her brain. The chasm of silence stretched between them. She started apologizing for what she had no idea, and stopped when she heard her name being called. It was Al Conway on the stage, the COO of Conway-Titensor—her boss, asking her to come say a few words. She had to go, yet she couldn’t bring herself to just walk away and Ross seemed to get this. He opened the door to the banquet room for her and followed her inside.

Al had brought her onstage to take some credit for the fabulous party and she made a couple of unnecessary remarks into the mic, and then brought Zach up to take the rest of the applause. She made her way back to the dance floor. Her brain was flicking through a hundred scenarios of what to say to Ross, how the conversation would go. After months of not seeing him, this was her chance. He hadn’t mentioned her messages. They’d been a month ago and probably forgotten in the myriad of texts and voicemails he dealt with on a daily basis. He stood in the back of the room, just outside the lights shining on the white linen dinner tables. When she reached him, he put a hand out, beckoning.

“Come on, dance with me,” he said.

“Dance with you? Why on earth would I…”

“Please Az, I want…” His voice faltered and turned into something else. Not a plea exactly, but something she couldn’t deny. “One dance. Please.” She allowed herself to be pulled onto the crowded floor and they moved together, silent for a moment. She wished she could have sustained it because in the silence, everything worked, there was no disappointing past mistakes, no uncertain future—it was just perfect in that moment.

“This is your idea, right?” he spoke, pulling away from her to watch her face. “I remember you talking about a roaring twenties thing.”

“You do?”

“I remember everything,” he said softly. 

“I’m so sorry.”

“Would you quit saying you’re sorry? It makes me feel like a jerk.”

“Sorry.” She laughed, but it was only to keep the choking sound from her words.

“You haven’t been around.”

“I took some time off—needed to get myself together. I’m still working on that—the getting it together thing.” With a glance around the dark ballroom, she moved closer in his arms.

“Remember the jazz club in Memphis?” he spoke low into her ear.

“Of course.” Memphis was the first time they’d spent any time together at all outside of work. He’d held her to her promise of showing him around and she’d taken him down Beale St. She’d felt the attraction coming off of him in waves. It was a moment she’d never forget.  She took a deep breath. “There’s some things I need to say.”

She should just say it
. Jonathan and I have separated, I’m moving on
. But somehow, it didn’t feel like the right place.

“Okay. Do you want to go somewhere?”

Zach twirled by, an older woman in his arms looking breathless and giddy. He flashed a grin and a quick thumbs up at Az and Ross. Azure flicked her hand in a tiny wave. It was breathing space she desperately needed.

“Maybe later.” Ross nodded and looked around, seemingly content to hold her close to him. She had no idea why she felt the need to fill up the space with small talk.  “Thank God for Rachel. She’s been a lifesaver,” she murmured.

“Yeah, she and Ben are good. You know about that, right?” 

“Yeah, Rachel seems happy.” She breathed a sigh, and chided herself for her cowardice. The subject of Ben and Rachel was so much safer.  “I guess there’s a wedding in your future.”

“You know?”

“Of course I know.”

He stopped dancing for a moment and she almost stumbled in his arms, confused.  He quickly caught her and moved into a step. “You said to move on.”

“I see Rachel every week day. She can’t quit talking about it.”

“If you had answered my calls I would have told you,” he whispered.

“I did answer.” What was he talking about? Hadn’t he gotten her messages? She wondered why he was suddenly acting so strange.

“I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

“You mean from Rachel? Who else would I talk to?”  Finally, reality broke through the haze of uncertain euphoria she felt and she realized why he looked so stricken. That he wasn’t talking about Rachel and Ben anymore.  “Wait, what are we talking about? Rachel and Ben’s wedding or—you’re getting married?” Seconds ticked by—beats of music, shuffling steps across the crowded dance floor—they all faded away and left his words zinging through her. She seemed to spin away on another plane of existence. The thoughts whirling in her head in time to the music.
Please say no. Say of course not, why would I get married?  Not now, not when you’re...

“Isn’t that what you were talking about?” he spoke slowly as though to a child, his eyes as clear a green as she’d ever seen them. But he didn’t deny it. She swallowed, trying to speak over her heart lodged in her throat. Two quick deep breaths—a look around the dance floor to change her focus from inside herself to outside. She could do this—just keep it together a little longer.

“Yes, of course. Your wedding—to Dani. I should say congratulations.” But she couldn’t. Too busy keeping the shock and sadness out of her expression, and the tremble out of her voice. While in the back of her mind, she waited for him to deny it. Deny the fact that they would never be together. She felt anything but congratulatory and the sentiment never did find its way to the surface.

The colored lights of the ballroom flickered across his face. “You’ve had a lot on your plate lately. Working things out with. . .the family.” She turned her head, watching other dancers whirl around them. He said family, but his meaning was clear—Jonathan. “How are they?”

It took her a long time to answer and he pulled her closer to him in some unspoken need to comfort them both.  Not wanting to be comforted, she managed to keep herself from melting into him. He was simply being kind. She pulled back and pushed his arms into a more proper dance hold.

“They’re fine. Just fine,” she mumbled, and thought of Eli, who would soon have divorced parents and how he’d handle it. Somewhere in the next few moments, as their dance came to a close, he mentioned moving to California. It should have shocked her, the news of his leaving his beloved Chicago, but she was too numb to respond. She was barely holding it together as it was.  Every moment she was in Ross’s arms made her think of how right it felt, the way they fit together. And then with each step they took, she thought of Dani—the model girlfriend. Now she was the model fiancée. By the time the song ended, Az couldn’t stand to be there anymore and she pulled away, leaving Ross with a stunned look on his face.

“You said you wanted to talk.” The rough timbre of his voice sent tiny shockwaves through her, bringing back the memory of a posh hotel room, the remnants of a Minnesota blizzard outside and the two of them kissing on the bed. When his phone alarm had sounded the glow of desire between them was strong enough to taste, even after he’d left. If they hadn’t had that breathing space, they would be together now. She was sure of that. Standing on the edge of the dance floor, with him leaving her again, she’d have given anything to have those moments back. She would’ve never let him leave that hotel room. Now she had to let him go.

“There’s nothing much to say, really. I’m happy for you, Ross. You deserve a happy life, tons of kids, the whole bit.” The last part was true. She did want him to be happy.

“I wish things had been different.”
Then why weren’t they? Why couldn’t you wait for me?

Before she could bring the thoughts into words, he stepped back. She rushed to kiss him one last time. His lips were soft, his mouth opened in surprise.  Azure disappeared into the crowd. It wasn’t in her nature to hide, but there was safety in numbers and couples swirled around her, shielding her from his view. She didn’t want him to see her heartbreak. She knew he’d come after her and leaving him once was hard enough. Side stepping an elderly couple in the midst of a dangerous Charleston, she turned back toward the door. She couldn’t resist once last glance and she watched his departure. His shoulders seemed less broad, less determined, his stride more hesitant than the Ross she knew.  It was her last vision of him.