His Perfect Woman (Urban Hearts Series Book 1) (8 page)

“You’re doing everything you can right now. Your mom knows you love her, of course she knows. And you’ll be there for her when she really needs you.” Az spoke with quiet conviction as she echoed his mother’s sentiment that everything would be okay.  He relaxed and when the waitress approached again, scowling, Az ordered pie, apple, warmed with a scoop of ice cream and two forks. As they ate, he told her stories of his mom helping with his speech courses in college. She was a champion debater, and a marvelous cook. Az responded with an anecdote about her own mother, nitpicking her at some awards banquet, and the contrast made Ross appreciate his own parents even more.

“I told Dani that I wouldn’t be going to her parents’ this year for Christmas,” he said. “We switch holidays, her family for one, mine for the other, but because of this, I want to be home. Her parents live in Lexington, and they’re nice and all, but…”

“It’s understandable, you wanting to be close to your mom.” Az waited for him to continue.

“Apparently, not that understandable.” Ross huffed, and looked out the window. His breath fogged up the chilly pane, obscuring the street outside. Dani’s parents were older, and doted on both their children, but especially the younger son, Greg. It was always a chore for Ross to tolerate the constant babying of a grown man. “Dani’s brother Greg is a center of the universe type, and God forbid anyone who messes with his plans.”

Az’s mouth twitched.

“A man with a plan. Go figure.”

“It’s not like that.” Ross stopped. He sounded like a petulant child, whining about having to follow someone else’s game-plan. “Yeah, okay. Jeeze.  Suppose I am looking for sympathy and understanding.”

“Of course, and I am so sorry about your mom.”

Her words were sincere, all trace of her earlier mirth had disappeared and she watched him intently before looking around the almost empty diner. He wanted her to look at him again. He needed that tether or he’d spin off into space. Her fingers tapped restlessly on the coffee mug until the waitress appeared again and refilled it. She raised her eyes to his and he felt it. That tingle he always seemed to get when she was around.

“About her, Dani. I really don’t have a right to comment. Not sure I should be giving advice anyway.” She looked away. “Given the issues in my own relationship.” 

He paused, coffee cup halfway to his mouth, not believing she would blurt it out like that. He licked his lips, took a sip and spoke.

“Still the same issues? You know?”

“Yes, I’ve been walking on eggshells. Everything seems to set him off.” She sat back against the diner booth, her cheekbones stark in the fluorescent lighting. Outside, car headlights passed, reflecting through the window and she blinked against the unwanted light. Her lipstick was faded, naked lips in a worried frown, her hair trimmed an inch or so, since the last time, and the natural curl flicked over her ears in a tease. His fingers extended of their own volition to brush it back. She smiled, and when he realized he was touching her, he retreated, inches from her hand and she turned it, palm up in invitation. He accepted, and held it tight, soaked in her heat from across the table. They ignored the looks from their waitress. 

“I was going to call you, or at least text.  I guess I figured I shouldn’t bother you with this stuff.”

“You’re not a bother. Not for something like this.” She looked into his eyes and didn’t turn away. “Not for anything really.”

Ross’s breath caught in his throat. His thumb grazed the inside of her wrist, feeling the strong steady beat of her pulse. She broke off and slipped her hand back to her lap.

“Excuse me, I need to ah...” she gestured vaguely and slid out of the booth, walked past him toward the back of the diner.

Coffee cups were full when she returned and he’d taken care of the check. The place was open all night, their original sour-faced waitress giving him a little wave as she finished her shift. He didn’t want to leave, and yet, he did, but if they went back to hotel he’d lose her again. Now, that he’d relaxed enough to feel it, tiredness seeped through his muscles and it became an effort to move, or to focus. He needed sleep, but the need to be with her was stronger and kept him going. As she slid across from him again, hands curling back around the cup, whatever concentration he had left zeroed into her.

“Where’s your ring?” he asked, a little startled he hadn’t noticed the bareness of her fingers earlier.

“I’m having it cleaned.”

“Bull-shit. I’m sorry,” he spoke in the same breath. “None of my business. Are things more serious than you said?”

In answer, she sighed, her eyes tearing up. He was immediately sorry again.

“Come on, let’s go.” He held out a hand to her, and she tucked in under the curve of his arm as they left the diner. They were as silent as the quiet streets on the way back; late on a Tuesday night. Neither was willing to pull away as they walked through the lobby and into the elevator.

The doors closed. Ross watched her as she leaned against him. Her eyes were closed and he was near enough to see a tiny clump of mascara on an eyelash. Her sable eye-shadow had collected into a thin line along the crease of her eyelids.

“What are you thinking?” he asked. The softness of her skin soaked in the words like water, her eyes opened and he recognized his own turmoil. Her pupils grew large for half a second and then she kissed him, open mouthed and all in. He reacted, turning toward her and taking control, hand clasping her head for a better angle. They bumped against the back of the elevator as he pressed into her. Her hands rifled his hair, pulling, tugging, each touch wrapping around him, bringing him closer to her. He felt her come apart underneath his mouth. She moaned softly, and he wanted all of her, now. He moved a thigh between her legs, the hard length of him delighted in the contact, even through three layers of clothing. Her sweet cream voice broke into pieces when she whispered his name. The soft ding signaled the elevator doors opening onto their floor. Azure’s room was the second one down, a mere thirty feet away.

Ross scanned the business section of the Chicago Sun Times on his tablet, making a few mental notes of companies looking for HR consultants. Instinctively, he looked up to see his brother, Ben striding toward him, his long legs eating up the hotel lobby space. Ben’s scarf was triple wrapped under a simple corduroy blazer, and his longer hair was windswept and shaggy.

“Sorry I missed the big speech,” Ben said as he gave Ross a brief one armed hug.

“No worries, I know it’s tough getting across town at rush hour. Glad you could make it at all. You wanna do dinner here? Or we could go to Finnegan’s.” Ross named one of their favorite restaurants. His brother slanted a half grimace at him, brushed his hair back and straightened his jacket.

“It’s too far to walk and half hour on the L. Let’s stay here. Besides, I want to meet this as-your- worth person.”

Ross nodded and steered him toward the bar. Azure had barely spoken to him since she arrived at the hotel this morning. People were always at her side, waiting for instructions, or problems to solve, and he had gone about his business, teaching a small class in a breakout conference room and then speaking at the afternoon panel. He’d texted her about Ben, asking if she wanted to meet them for a drink.

They entered a dimly lit bar with two TV screens sporting silent basketball. Sportscaster lingo scrolled across the bottom of the screens. Ross spotted Azure immediately, and said a silent thank you that she was alone.

They approached and her face shed its weary look and lit up when she saw him. He fairly buzzed with the feeling. After introductions, Ben used his considerable people skills to make Azure feel comfortable, and soon they were engrossed in random conversation about Austin Powers movies. Ross gazed at her across the table as she sparred with his brother. Ross thought of his last encounter with her before Christmas.

It was embarrassing being caught outside her room, though they were simply standing at the door as she fumbled for her key card. After the kiss in the elevator, it felt like they were naked and on display. Azure’s team members had emerged and were headed downstairs.  They’d waved at Ross and Azure, and then stood in front of the elevator, which took forever to arrive. It was awkward, and while they tried to ignore them, the damage had been done. He’d drug himself away from her and headed to his own room. They both knew it was her reputation at stake, not his.

Things happen at conferences all the time, but Azure would continue to work with this same crew at other events. With her troubles at home, he didn’t want to cause trouble for her at work as well.

That night he’d broken his cardinal rule of not partaking of the mini bar, and broke the seal on two Wild Turkey mini bottles. A splash of cold water to make up for lack of ice and he sipped it for taste, the bourbon burning its way down. Dani called and he let it go to voicemail. Last thing he wanted that night was to hear her voice. After talking with Az, his anger at Dani had subsided, leaving him calmer, at peace. Then he reved up again in the elevator, in a different way. A good way he didn’t want to back down from.

Relieving himself of four cups of diner coffee, he stripped off his clothes and stepped into the shower.

Water sluiced over him, hot and sharp, needles pounding his skin into submission, forcing him to relax. He held a hand over his fading erection, shielding it from the onslaught at first, but he gave in to the demands of his body and his hand closed around it. Two quick tugs and it filled, growing hard and heavy in his hand. Resting his head against
the cool tiles, his brain filled with images of Azure’s smile, her mouth hot and insistent under his. It’d been a while, and he could almost feel pliant lips sucking his cock, tonguing the underside and could almost see her violet eyes wide as she looked up at him. It could almost be exactly as he’d imagined it, over and over. Lately, even with Dani, it was Az he’d thought of.  Completion hadn’t taken long, and the orgasm was long and intense and he spent several seconds hunched over in the shower, coming down, hands on unsteady knees.

After the shower, he’d toweled himself roughly as if to rub all notion of Azure from his skin. He’d spend all night awake and hard if he didn’t. He’d checked his phone for a text from her, the possibility of getting dressed and heading to her room still in his head. The hallway would be clear and it was nobody’s business anyway. She would let him in, he knew that, but then what? He didn’t want this to be some random hook-up with its awkward morning after.

On the eve of his mother’s surgery, after talking so lovingly of her, her faith, her goodness, he could not bring himself to break the rules. He didn’t think of being with Azure as sinful, it certainly didn’t feel sinful. In fact, it felt right. But the fact was, she was married and the rules of convention had already been pushed too far.

There was no text from Az. His phone lay blank and unforgiving. He collapsed on the bed, knowing that it wasn’t the absence of an invite that stopped him. Or the possibility of disappointing his mother, but if, in some other alternate wonderful universe—he and Azure ended up together—he didn’t want his mother to see her as the other woman, or immoral. He didn’t want Azure to see herself that way.

At the bar, Ross listened to his brother and Az talk like they were old friends. She’d asked about their mom and Ben filled her in on recent details.

Ross had texted Az the news about his mom as soon as he’d heard. They had gotten it all, nothing had spread and they would only do radiation. No chemo was needed. As things go, this was great news.  Azure listened to the story again from Ben, asking thoughtful questions about her prognosis. Ben stretched, throwing his long arm around the back of Ross’s chair.

“She likes Ross to drive her to the appointments. He makes her laugh.” 

“I’m a funny guy.” Ross smirked.

“Sorry, did you say funny looking?” Az smiled at him, “Cause yeah, you are one goofy looking guy.”

“I’m not goofy looking.” Ross pushed his bottom lip out.

“Come on, that deer in the headlights look you get.” Az widened her eyes outrageously and blinked in slow motion.

Ben laughed and shot a glance at Ross. 

“I like her.”

“Knew you would,” Ross murmured, he fiddled with a plastic straw on the table. When he looked up, Azure was watching him and they smiled in a silent communication.

Ben watched the emcee set up the machine and mic on the tiny stage in a corner of the bar. “It looks like Karaoke night.” As if on cue, Az scraped her chair back, and Ross felt her absence before it happened.

“Don’t go.” He didn’t exactly plead, but the want in his voice was evident.  Ben looked at him sharply, so he covered it by adding. “Stay, we’ll watch Ben make an ass of himself at Karaoke.” Ben seconded the invite, adding one for dinner and bought another round.  

-------

The 80’s rock guitar soared in the background and Ross held the microphone in his sweaty palm. He shouldn’t have been nervous. He’d been up there twice already. But somehow, he wasn’t sure how, Azure was on stage with him and she held the second microphone. He launched into the first verse of The Romantics,
What I Like About You
. It was a fun rock song, nothing sappy or too romantic, nothing personal. He couldn’t help but watch her, joining him on a background vocal, not looking at the lyrics. She sang the second verse and he managed some moves on the stage as the lyric demanded. 

The crowd—especially his impromptu fan club at the first table—cheered louder than they had all night.  He was comfortably tipsy, a necessary prerequisite to being on stage at all, and by the end of the song, they were both dancing. The audience was on their feet and clapping in time. They finished with a flourishing
hey
!, on the up-beat. They soaked in the applause, arms around each other like they’d done this a million times. Ross beamed all the way back to his chair. 

“You have a good voice,” he said, leaning over to be heard above the noise.

“Maybe it was my singing partner.” She smiled at him and he leaned in close. He wanted to kiss her again. It simply felt like a natural thing to do. Her eyes grew wide as she backed away and looked toward Ben, who was studying them. Ross shook himself out of it.

“Well, I’ve got an early morning tomorrow,” Ben said. “I gotta go. But thanks for a great night. Azure, it was a pleasure meeting you.”

“Likewise,”Az said as she grabbed her purse. They settled the bill. Outside, Ben scooped her up in a bear hug, saying something in her ear. She laughed, standing to one side as he hugged Ross quickly and got into a waiting cab.

Ross and Azure turned away from the street and walked back into the hotel. He knew it wouldn’t be a repeat of last time. It was too close a call, but he could at least walk her to her room. He wanted just a tiny bit more time with her. 

That notion died a miserable death when a woman spoke from behind them. They stopped in front of the elevators. Az made introductions and Ross knew the woman wasn’t going anywhere as long as there was a chance for something juicy to happen. Ross hugged Azure as casually as possible and left.

He was on his way home, just walking out of the L station when his phone buzzed.

“Sorry about that,” she spoke without preamble. “Carol Lawford is CTC’s biggest gossip, she spent five floors trying to get some sort of goods about you.”

“Well, you could have given her my number, I’d have fielded questions.”

“She said you were very attractive.”

“Really. You sure she didn’t say goofy looking?” He grinned into the phone and his teeth hurt with the cold.

“Ben liked it.”

“Ben liked you.”

“I like him, he’s a cool guy.”

He heard her rustle something over the phone.

“What are you doing? You back in your room?”

“Yes, getting ready for bed. You’re part in this convention might be finished, but I have another busy day. ”

“Seemed like you and Ben were deep in conversation about something when I came back from the bathroom, what was that about?”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“I’d rather talk to you.”

“Ah, that’s nice.” She made a soft huffing sound, like she was settling on the bed. He envisioned her in striped pajamas, her bare feet crossed out in front of her. The picture in his head brought desire back from all the stuffed away places in his psyche.

“Are you gonna tell me what he said?”

“We talked about you, of course. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Why are you being stubborn?” he asked.

“Oh because you react so predictably when I do. It’s kinda cute.”

“Oh.” He stomped his feet against the cold. He’d been walking and talking and had arrived in front of his building. If he went in, he’d lose cell service. He walked around in circles in front of the steps. Dani was home tonight, upstairs waiting for him. He had no desire to be there.

“He was just being the protective older brother, I think.” Azure continued. “So he had to mention that you had a girlfriend.”

“Damn it, he should—”

“Ross, don’t get mad at him. It wasn’t a harsh conversation. Besides, he has a point. We can’t continue this, whatever it is. As much as I—”

“Look, I’ll talk to him.”

“It’s not about Ben, or what he said. It’s us. Last time was...strange. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry. Look, I’m trying to figure out my life here.” There was a deadly pause on the phone. A pause laden with bad news and he wanted to fill the space with hope and promises of how things would work out. “I might need some space, okay?”

Space?  They had a thousand miles between them.

Except for the urban noise he was immune to—traffic noise, people shouting in the distance, the faraway siren—he heard nothing. Arguments and protests formed themselves in his head, but he knew she was right, and it was one more reason he loved her. After a soft good bye, Ross hung up his phone and stood on the cold sidewalk. He watched his breath disappear on the wind.