His to Protect: A Fireside Novel (16 page)

“Declan,” I asked, fighting the uncertainty in my voice and in my body. I hadn’t stopped thinking about him. I hadn’t been able to stop remembering the way it felt when he slid inside of me in Chicago.

I lifted my hand and pressed it against his cheek, hoping he understood.

“You’ve been drinking.” His eyes slid to my mouth again and I saw his pulse jump at his neck.

“I sobered up hours ago.”

Our voices were whispers, barely audible.

I took a step back into the living room and he followed me.

I heard Boomer’s paws pounding toward us on the carpet. He bumped into my leg, almost throwing me off balance, but Declan wrapped an arm around my waist.

“Chill, Boomer.” I looked down at my dog and scolded him with my glare.

My dog was ruining my moment.

The
moment.

“I’ll put him outside.”

“Wait.” Summoning all the confidence I’d been trying to find to tell him this, I inhaled a deep breath and watched his eyes narrow. “I have something to tell you.”

At our hips, Boomer whined, and I shushed him.

“What is it?”

I swallowed thickly, feeling the words, the full shame of my past lodge inside my throat. Before I lost the courage, I spoke, told him something I’d been thinking about since Chicago. “I quit wanting my husband just a few weeks after we returned from my honeymoon. But that doesn’t mean he stopped wanting me.” Declan growled as he began to understand my words, but I pressed on. “I didn’t tell him no, ever, because that would have been worse.”

“Are you telling me your husband raped you?” he said, growling again. I felt the fury beginning to build inside of him, felt his rage sparking heat in the air between us.

I wasn’t afraid of him, though.

Because Declan wouldn’t hurt me.

“I’m saying that I did my wifely duty when it was required of me and it wasn’t all bad, it just wasn’t all enjoyable either, and it certainly was never something I wanted. But last week in Chicago…” I breathed in a ragged breath and forced myself to blink. “I wanted that. I wanted you and I haven’t wanted anything—anyone—in a really long time, so thank you for giving that to me. If it was just a one-time thing, I guess…I just need you to know how much I enjoyed it.”

Declan’s fingers on my waist dug in, and my hand on his chest felt his harsh, deep breaths through the warmth of his shirt.

His lips twitched and a muscle jumped in his cheek.

“I haven’t wanted to push you,” he finally admitted. “That morning was intense for both of us, and you still have a lot on your mind. I told you that we’d go at your pace, explore this in a way that’s good for you.”

My lips fought a smile and lost. “I’d like for our pace to move a bit faster.”

His lips mirrored mine and then he looked over at Boomer, whining at the back door.

“I’m going to let the dog out.” He took a step back, not taking his eyes off me. For a brief moment, I wondered if I’d flubbed this, if telling him about Kevin and our sex life was being too honest, if telling him that I wanted to have sex with him again was being too forward, too blunt.

My questions were erased when he said, “I’ll take care of Boomer. I want you to go get ready for bed. And when you’re done doing that, I want you to end up in my bed. You want to move forward, we’ll move forward.”

Nerves ignited in my stomach.

The best kind of nerves.

“You want me, Trina?”

I could only nod.

Declan flashed me a salacious grin. “Then be a good girl and do what I’m telling you.”

After I let Boomer out, my house felt deafening in its silence.

I should have been able to hear Trina banging around upstairs in her bedroom and bathroom. I should have been able to hear footsteps headed down the hallway toward my room.

On a normal night, I would have heard all of this.

Instead, all I heard was a thundering in my ears.

It was the middle of the fucking night, after three o’clock, and I was bone weary from closing the restaurant.

But nothing would stop me from getting Trina in my bed and showing her how much I wanted her. The last few days, since we’d been back from Chicago, had been fucking killing me.

I meant what I’d told her. I was taking this at her speed. The fact that she wanted me to speed things up was A-fucking-OK with me.

My lips stretched into a grin as I watched Boomer do his business and sniff around the backyard for a few minutes. I gave him his time outside, knowing he’d been cooped up, probably sleeping all over my couch for the whole day.

I also needed a few minutes to calm down.

Get in control.

I wanted to thrust inside Trina so powerfully she’d never forget what I felt like.

Earlier, she’d been a wreck in my arms, and I wanted to make it good for her. Take it slow. Pleasure her.

Especially considering what she just told me.

Sometimes I wondered if I should have pushed us forward. She was still technically a married woman.

Under any other circumstances, I would never go for another man’s woman. But Morgenson wasn’t a man—he was a snake and a coward. I had no doubt we’d find him before he found her, as long as Tyson kept calling in favors, as I knew he was doing.

Until then, I’d trust Trina.

A difficult concept after Mara broke whatever trust I had in women.

But so far, Trina had been honest. She’d told me what she needed and what she wanted, and hadn’t given any indication she wasn’t the woman she’d shown herself to be.

At the very least, she was learning to ask for what she wanted, and learning it was okay to be whoever she wanted to be.

And I couldn’t stop the masculine surge of testosterone in me that came from knowing that, in part, that new confidence of hers was because of me.

“Boom,” I called out quietly after I slid the back door open. “Get in here.”

The dumb animal looked up at me and, swear to God, his lips formed a pout, and then he trotted inside, head down, bummed out of his mind.

“Go to bed,” I told him.

As if he understood, he lumbered up the stairs ahead of me. Without stopping, he headed directly to Trina’s bedroom and I heard him jump from the wood floor up onto her bed.

Since she didn’t say anything when her dog jumped up on her bed, I knew she wasn’t there.

She’d listened to me.

Another surge tightened my chest and I closed the door to her room, shutting Boomer inside.

The last thing I wanted in the next hour or two was to be interrupted by the dog.

I forced myself to walk slowly as I took the few paces to my bedroom, but I felt my pulse kick up a notch or twenty when I saw a faint bluish light peeking out from beneath my slightly opened bedroom door.

With one hand, I pushed the door open and my eyes immediately snapped toward the bed.

Everything inside me froze.

Then ached.

Then burned with desire.

Because Trina wasn’t just in my bed where I told her I wanted her…

She was lying on her back, head propped up on a bunch of pillows, and she was butt fucking naked.

Words caught in my throat as I took her in and stepped inside my room and closed the door behind me.

“You listened.”

My voice was ragged. Strained. Much as my cock currently was against the zipper of my jeans.

Holy shit, she was beautiful.

Her blonde hair was curled and splayed out all over the pillows behind her, some flowing over her shoulder, hiding her breasts from my view. Her stomach, trim and toned, raised and dipped with every one of her quickened breaths.

And her legs.

Damn.

Those long, lean legs of hers shouldn’t be allowed anywhere except wrapped around my hips.

She licked her lips and I saw them tremble as she forced them into a smile. “You didn’t say if you wanted me to be wearing anything.” She shrugged and her eyes widened slightly. “So I chose not to.”

I cleared my throat and took another step forward. “Good choice.”

She let out a soft laugh that made my dick harden further.

Everything inside me hardened and tightened.

Hell. I didn’t know where to begin.

I didn’t know what to say. For the first time in my life, I was speechless in front of a naked woman.

I like to talk during sex. I want my women to know what they were doing to me, want them to know how much I enjoyed them. And the talking involved a lot of cussing.

I had no doubt that by the time morning came the swear jar Trina started for me was going to be overflowing.

Something that didn’t bother me in the least.

“Tell me something, Trina.” I took another step toward her at the same time I reached to the back of my shirt and pulled it off. “What do you like during sex?”

Her eyes widened and she blinked several times. For a moment, I thought she was speechless from staring at my chest, but then I realized it was because she had no idea what to say.

Her face went blank when our gazes met. I took off my jeans and closed the distance between us until I was crawling up the bed by her feet. Her legs separated and I braced myself above her, before slipping down to feel her heat press again my groin.

Fuck.

She was already hot.

I could feel her center throbbing against my cock.

“Trina?” I asked, bracing my weight on one elbow and running my other hand through her hair. “What do you like?”

“I don’t…” She blinked again and looked away from me. I took my hand from her hair and pressed it against her cheek.

“Don’t look away from me,” I whispered, fighting the anger boiling in my veins all over again.

“I don’t know what I like because no one’s ever taken the time to let me explore.”

My head fell until my lips brushed against her chest, just above her breasts. I stayed there, brushing my lips against her skin, grazing on the curves of her flesh.

Her hands slid over my head until her fingertips dug into my shoulders, getting my attention.

“I know that I want to explore you.”

Her heart rate increased as she spoke and I lifted my head.

“You will. What else?”

Her lips rolled together. “I like to be on top. I had never done that before Chicago.”

My hips rolled into hers on their own accord.

Fuck. Me. This woman was going to kill me.

She looked so sweet. So innocent.

So perfectly made for me.

“You want to be in control?” I asked, already sliding down her body, dragging my lips over the skin between her breasts. “That’s usually my role in the bedroom.”

“I don’t have to,” she said, and let out a breathy moan when I kissed her belly button.

“What else do you want to do?”

My hands slid down her hips, feeling her everywhere. She was so soft, yet firm. Blood rushed to my head while I thought of all the ways I wanted to use her body.

She was silent for a moment—too many moments—and I looked up at her again to see her worrying her lip between her teeth.

My arousal increased. “You know you’re safe in this room with me, right?” She nodded and let go of her lip. I crawled back up her body until I was aligned with her again. “Then what is it you want?”

“I’ve never…” She swallowed and exhaled. “I want to taste you.”

“Fuck,” I groaned and squeezed my eyes closed.

I didn’t think there was anything a man could like in the world more than a blowjob. One done by any woman was good enough to get off quickly. One done by a woman who might not have the most finesse, but had the most desire and energy was sometimes more incredible than good sex.

I rolled off her, and brought her with me. She gasped in surprise and then straddled me. My hands wrapped around her back, and I slid one hand up to her neck and pulled her against me.

“You taste me,” I said, our lips almost brushing against each other’s. “Then you ride me.”

Her eyes lit up with excitement and I pushed my head back into the pillow, letting out another groan. I didn’t give her time to think of an excuse not to, or a reason why I might not have wanted this.

I pulled her toward me and pressed her mouth against mine, sliding my tongue inside her mouth, and rocking into her to show her that the idea of her having her way with me was the biggest damn turn-on I’d ever felt.

Then I lay still while she explored my body.

Her lips brushed against my skin, following the trails and dips of my abs. She pressed her soft lips down the length of my arms before tasting me right above my hip bones.

With every brush of her lips against me, my skin burned until I thought it would combust.

My fingers curled into the sheets beneath me, as I forced myself to allow her this control. To give her what she wanted.

I let loose a groan when she wrapped her lips around the tip of my cock for the first time. The pleasure was so intense it was almost painful.

And when I finally yanked her off my dick, set her on top me, and then watched as she sank herself down onto me, I was certain there would never be a woman more perfectly made for me.

We came together, her fingers clinging to mine on the bed, and our shouts were explosive enough to be heard throughout the entire town.

I didn’t give one single fuck.

When we exhausted ourselves, I held her in my arms until she fell asleep.

I fell asleep with a smile on my face because I had been right. Tomorrow morning, her swear jar would be overflowing, and it was worth every single fucking dollar to shout and curse and groan while I let her have her wicked way with me.

Had to get to the restaurant for deliveries.

Don’t leave the house or unlock the door for anyone.

Call me when you wake up.

Last night was perfect.

~D

I pressed the flimsy, wrinkled receipt to my chest and sighed.

His commands and bossiness would bother me if I didn’t know they came from a place of concern and caring, instead of a desire to rule over me.

At my feet, Boomer curled up on his side and sighed.

I did the same thing, burrowing back under Declan’s covers, but reached for the cellphone.

I had an order to follow.

And I had learned last night, that while he gave me a semblance of control with our bodies but still continually told me what to do and how good it felt once I did it, when Declan ordered to me do something, there was always pleasure at the end of it for me.

“I hope the photos turn out well,” I said, turning toward Jorge Rivera, the photographer Camden had talked into doing the fireman-calendar photo shoot on short notice.

He was a five-foot-five-inch gay man whose partner worked at a small accounting firm with Camden. He worked at an investment firm, but was trying to begin his own photography business, so he was hoping this calendar brought him attention and clients.

He had even volunteered to do the shoot for free in order to build his portfolio.

When I met him earlier and asked if he was certain he didn’t want to be paid, he placed his hand on my shoulder, grinned, and said, “Honey, please. I get to look at wet, half-naked men all day. That alone is payment enough.”

And really…he was right.

Because the day had been full of wet, half-naked men draped all over one of their smaller engines, which was parked in front of the restaurant. Traffic on Main Street had been slowed down for hours.

Fireside Grill hadn’t received a single complaint.

They had, though, had a lot of people coming in, after stopping by to watch the shoot. Inside, we had half-off appetizers and beer, and it surprised me how many women had taken a look at the attraction outside, then headed inside to cool off with a beer and a side of potato skins.

Apparently staring at half-naked men made women thirsty as well as hungry.

“These photos will be spectacular,” Jorge said, looking through the viewing lens on one of the three different cameras he used for the shots. Before the restaurant opened, he had even gotten a bunch of photos inside Fireside Grill, which made the servers giggle with amusement. It also made Declan scowl, every time he caught me looking.

It was business.

Mostly.

Some of the men were attractive.

But none could hold a candle to Declan and his body, which I’d become very accustomed to over the last week.

“How long until you can get through edits on them?” I turned to face Jorge, forcing myself to stop looking at the firefighters as they threw T-shirts on over their rippled muscles.

He clicked through a few more photos, smiling wider with every click. “By the end of next week.” He turned to me and smirked. “Something tells me I won’t be able to stop thinking of these men…err, photos…once I get started.”

I laughed with him and reached out to shake his hand. “Thanks again for making this so successful. If you ever need a reference, let Declan know and I’m sure he’ll give you a great one.”

“No problem.” He crouched down and began packing up his camera equipment, which I took as my cue to leave.

“Excuse me,” a woman called out as I opened the door to enter Fireside. “Ma’am?”

I turned around and found a woman walking quickly toward me, waving something small in her hand. “Hi,” she said, a bit breathless when she reached me.

I let go of the door and stepped out of the doorway. “Hi. Can I help you?”

Her eyes went to the firemen behind me and back to mine. “I hope so. I’m Kate and I’m in the process of opening up a baking shop just a few businesses down from here. Are you the woman who organized this shoot today?”

“I am.” I held out my hand for her to shake. “Trina Winston.”

“Kate. Kate Simpson.” She shook my hand and held up a business card. “I talked to a few other women around here earlier today. I think…Chelsea, she said her name was. Anyway, she mentioned that you were in charge of this and some new promotions for Fireside Grill.”

“Yes, that’s me. How can I help you?”

“Well I was wondering if you and I could meet sometime in the next week or so. My shop is opening in mid-November and I’m trying to find some new ideas to market to the area. Is that something you’d be interested in? Or have time for?”

My eyes widened as I held her business card in my hand. I had to make a conscious effort not to crumple it in my palm. “I’m sorry,” I began, and watched her excitement diminish. Darn it. “I’d love to, I would. But I don’t exactly have an office or a company. I’m just doing this to help out the owner.”

“Oh.” Her expression fell further before perking up. “Well, I’d hire you anyway. Or maybe you’d be willing to sit down and talk with me? Point me in the right direction? I had a firm all hired, but they’ve been lagging on their deadlines and promises, and I’ve been sinking money into something that just hasn’t worked out. Like I said, I open in a few weeks and I’ve been flipping out.”

I was too overwhelmed to think straight, but even so, ideas for a bakery immediately began percolating in my mind. “Why don’t we get together later in the week. Meet for lunch here, maybe?” I nodded toward Fireside Grill. “I’m here most of the time working with Declan. We can talk about what you’re looking for, and I can let you know if it’s something I can do. In the meantime, I’ll spend time researching some PR firms with decent rates and reviews so I can have some other options for you.”

“Thank you,” she gasped and clasped her hands together. “Can we do lunch on Wednesday?”

“Works for me.” I’d been at Fireside every day of the week lately, and it wasn’t like I had much else going on in my life.

“Perfect. Thank you, Trina. Honestly. And I swear, I’ll pay you what I’d pay anyone.”

I smiled politely. She wouldn’t choose me. I just did this as a favor for Declan to help him out, but I was in no position to start my own firm or anything like that. “We’ll talk about it Wednesday.”

“Sounds like you’re starting your own business.” Declan’s voice behind me made me jump. I spun on my heels until I was facing him.

“How much of that did you hear?”

He shrugged and slid his hands into his pockets. I watched the movement, unable to look away.

If I wasn’t touching him, or he wasn’t touching me, I wanted it to be happening.

I almost pouted when his fingers slid into his pockets and not to my waist.

His chuckle told me he knew what I was thinking, and he leaned in, bending down until his lips were at my ear. “You just had my hands all over you this morning, and you already want more?”

A week ago, I would have blushed furiously at the suggestion.

But I’d learned a lot in a week. Mostly that Declan seemed to like me however I came. I was also learning to shed my skin of insecurity.

“I can’t help it,” I whispered, taking a step toward him and setting my hand on his hip. “I like the way you touch me.”

He growled into my ear and pulled me to him, giving me exactly what I wanted.

“What’d that woman really want?”

“I thought you heard everything.”

“Enough to get the idea. Not enough to know who she is.”

His eyes lifted and he watched Kate as she walked away. We hadn’t heard anything more from Kevin in the last week, and Tyson had been calling in favors as much as he could. But considering who Kevin was, and who his dad was, Tyson had to be particularly careful not to arouse any more suspicion than necessary. However, the fact that Kevin hadn’t shown up made me hope that he couldn’t find me. I also hoped he wouldn’t be able to find me before I filed divorce papers, which I was planning on doing early next week.

It was time to stop hiding and start moving on with my life.

“She’s opening a bakery next month and has had some problems with the people currently doing her marketing. She wants to talk to me about ideas. Chelsea talked to her earlier today.”

“Sounds like a great opportunity.”

I shrugged in his embrace. “It could be fun, but I’m not looking to do anything. It’s not like I really can right now, anyway.”

“Maybe not now.” He pulled back and ran his hand through my hair, pushing it off my shoulder and down my back. “But maybe like Jorge with his photography, it could be a good way for you to get some clients if you do decide to go that route once you’re settled.”

A frown twisted my lips. I liked working with Declan in the office and on the floor when I was needed.

I liked waking up with him, spending my day with him, and then going to bed next to him. But maybe he didn’t feel the same. Maybe he wanted some distance between us. Which made sense.

Just over a month ago, we were strangers. Now we were together practically every hour of every day.

“Maybe,” I muttered, feeling a bit deflated as I considered this possibility.

Declan reached out and cupped my cheeks with his palms, forcing me to meet his gaze. “Why are you frowning?”

I opted for honesty. Declan liked it when I was upfront with what I wanted—in bed and out of it. “I’ve been having fun being here with you and helping you.”

A puff of breath left his lips and he gripped me more firmly before pressing his lips to mine. “How is it possible,” he said when he pulled back, “that you keep getting more perfect for me, every single day?”

I smiled before I realize I was doing it. Those flutters that tended to hit my stomach when Declan was around were alive and strong.

“I want you to do what you want, honey, regardless of what that is. You want to stay at Fireside, build this with me, I want that. You want to spread your wings and do your own thing. I’ve got your back one hundred percent. This is your time to figure out you…we’ll figure out us together.”

I was left breathless, but not incapable of moving, so I rolled to my toes and kissed him, showing Declan how much I appreciated not only his faith in me, but in whatever we were building. “Same goes for you, Declan. I’ve got your back, always.”

“Good.” He pulled back and wrapped his hand around mine and pulled me inside. “Now let’s get you inside and away from all these men who have been drooling over you all morning long. They stick around here much longer and I might end up on the front page of the news in a way that wouldn’t be good publicity for Fireside.”

I snickered at his deep, irritated voice and followed him inside.

A breath escaped me as I walked into Fireside Grill with Declan behind me.

A warmth I had never felt before permeated me, spreading throughout my body as I looked at the small crowd of people at the bar, all welcoming me with warm, friendly smiles.

I shivered from the sudden heat in my body.

“You okay?” Declan asked, his hand firm on my lower back.

I peeled my eyes off the people at the bar and looked up at Declan while he guided me forward, a deep line between his brows. Then I looked back at everyone who’d been around for most of the day.

Tyson and Blue were standing in the center. To Tyson’s left, I saw Aidan and Derrick, and to Blue’s right, a small circle of women—Chelsea and Camden, along with Paige. Suzanne had to spend the afternoon with her husband’s family celebrating his parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary, but even without really knowing Suzanne, I knew that had she been able to make it, she would have been here completing my new group of friends.

Unshed tears glistened in my eyes as I inhaled a shaky breath before expelling it slowly.

I’d never had this.

I’d never had friends who would spend an entire day doing nothing but hanging out and being supportive. And, yeah, I knew Paige was here for the man candy, Camden probably because they dragged her along, and Chelsea because she was super sweet and kind. And the men were here for Declan, their friend for several years, but the other reasons didn’t matter.

What mattered was that they were here. Supporting him. Supporting me.

I’d never felt anything so beautiful.

My feet paused and I faced Declan again, allowing thankfulness to shine in my enamored expression. “Thank you,” I whispered with a choked voice. “I’ve never had this. Never had friends and this kind of life. Thank you for giving that to me.”

Declan’s gaze went to his friends—our friends—and then returned to mine. That line between his eyes disappeared and several more appeared at the edges of his eyes as they crinkled. He laughed softly and pulled me to him, brushing his lips across my forehead and then down to my ear. “They’re not here for me, honey. They’re here for you, because you’re you.”

A full body tremble rolled through me. I took a moment to let that soak in.

Was it possible these people were all there because of something good I’d given them—after only a few meetings, at most?

My chin quivered and I pressed my forehead to his chest, allowing him to wrap his arms around me.

“Come on.” He curled his hands around my shoulders and pushed me away from him, reaching out to tip my chin up. “Let’s go celebrate a good day and pray like hell this brings in some money.”

I looked around the restaurant and saw the tables packed with customers, mostly women, and laughed. “I think it’s working already.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and spun me toward our crowd of waiting friends. “Let’s fucking hope so.”

“That’s another dollar.”

“I don’t give a shit.” I looked up to see him grinning. He flashed me a wink before he led me toward the bar and had Charlie hand me a glass of white wine.

I sipped it slowly while the girls came and congratulated me on what appeared to have been a successful day for the restaurant. I got sucked into conversation with everyone, and didn’t think anything of it when I saw Tyson pull Declan off to the side and begin speaking to him in a hushed voice no one else could hear.