His Touch (20 page)

“Bree.”

Bree and Cassandra stepped into Kara’s apartment, followed by the guys each had loved once, lost, and then found again. Kara’s heart gave a little twist when she thought of it. Jake Killen was little Charlie’s dad, but hadn’t known Bree was pregnant when he left her all those years ago to marry someone else. Now married to each other, the two were partners in every sense of the word. And Sean McKinnon, the Irish musician Cass had loved in college, was back in her life. The only one of their circle missing was Jade, but even she had reconnected with a childhood friend and was blissfully planning her wedding. Kara was the only one still alone.

As if she’d read her mind, Cass crossed the room and took her hands. “You’re not alone in this, honey. Never that.”

Kara looked at them all. Bree and Cassandra, the sisters of her heart. Elena, the sister in it. Behind them stood the three men who loved them. All wore identical expressions of worry until Nadia looked up and shrieked. “Reeeeee!” She all but tackled Bree with a hug and a loud kiss and then leaned out of her arms to tumble into Cassandra’s. When she was done kissing everybody, Nadia ran to her room and began pulling out toys, clearly intending for everyone to play with her because why else would they all be here?

Tears burned Kara’s throat and she turned to Sabrina. “Bree, you—”

“Sorry, Kara, but you’re wrong. I had tons of help. I lived with my parents, I had all of you and I had Aunt GiGi and Aunt Joane, too. I never would have been able to finish school without you guys. I couldn’t have given Charlie skating lessons and hockey clinics and trips to the city if I didn’t have all of you.”

Jake took her hand and Kara could see the apologies form on his lips but Bree shook her head. “No, Jake. No more apologies. We’re past that now.” She gave his hand a squeeze and turned back to Kara. “The point is I did have help, Kara. From everybody including you. Don’t you remember that time I called you because I needed diapers but couldn’t leave the house?”

Kara’s eyes went wide. “Yes! Charlie had diarrhea and went through an entire box.” She’d forgotten all about that. Sabrina had been beside herself so she’d taken the train to Long Island, carting two boxes of diapers, and stayed the weekend because Bree’s parents had gone upstate.

Cass spoke up. “I’m right here in the city, Kara. I’d have been here in minutes. Why didn’t you tell me?”

The hurt tone in her friend’s voice couldn’t be missed. Kara crossed the room to the laundry basket, started folding Nadia’s little outfits into a neat pile. Elena caught Bree’s eye and muttered a curse before pulling the basket out of her sister’s reach. “Okay, Kara. Spill it. Right now.”

Lucas put up a warning hand, but Elena shrugged him off. Kara’s face crumbled. “You guys,” she cried, holding out a hand to Bree and Cass. “You all have your own happy endings now and you waited so long for them. And Laney. Honey, it took you years just to come home and now you have Luke and I can’t, I’m sorry, I just can’t be this neurotic mess who calls you all over here every time my baby says Boo.”

“Boo!” Nadia exclaimed.

Sean scooped her up into his arms while everybody laughed softly. “Oh, you’re a wee smart thing, ya are.” His nose wrinkled. “Oh, and a wee smelly thing, too.”

Kara stood up, but Sean waved her off.

“Sit down, Mama. I know how to change a nappy.” He carried Nadia to her room.

“Okay, okay,” Cassandra raised both hands. “Now isn’t the time for this. Tell us about Steve’s condition and Nadia’s tests.”

Kara drew in a deep breath for courage and told them all what she’d learned. “There
is
a murmur. I don’t know if that means she has this coarctation thing or not and I’m going to lose what’s left of my mind if this phone doesn’t ring.”

Jake cleared his throat. “When are you supposed to get the results?”

“Dr. Tully assured us he’d call today,” Lucas announced. “He needs a consult with a surgeon but couldn’t reach him yesterday.”

“What about Steve? Has he called since you met him?” Cass asked.

Kara nodded. “I got a few text messages. He’s sorry. He wants to come home, meet
his
daughter.”

Elena snorted. “What did Reid have to say about that?”

At the sound of Reid’s name, Kara’s blood chilled. “He wasn’t happy about it at the time. Now it appears he no longer cares.”

“Oh, honey.” Bree put her arms around Kara.

“He wouldn’t have called me if that were true,” Elena pointed out. “He didn’t want you to be alone. Give him time, Kara. He’s wrestling with a heavy load.”

Kara lowered her head and sighed. She wished she knew how to do that. But the truth was Reid had never told her anything about his daughter, except that she’d died. He didn’t trust her with the details. And it seemed like he could no longer be bothered to learn all about hers.

“Here we are, all clean and smelling sweet again.” Sean emerged from the second bedroom with Nadia on his shoulders. Cass stood up with a smile and peeled the baby off him, covered her chubby cheeks with kisses.

“Okay.” Lucas stood up and clapped his hands. “Here’s what we’re gonna do. We’ll get you both dressed, pack some toys and food for Nadia and we’re all heading to the park. Make sure your phone is charged so when Dr. Tully calls, you can speak as long as you need to until every question is answered and all your worries are gone.”

Kara shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to leave the safety net of her apartment. She’d probably end up losing Nadia again and Reid would—

“You know what? That sounds like a good plan,” she said. She had real issues, real worries and if Reid Bennett was too pig-headed to deal with his own problems, then she sure didn’t need him in hers.

*

It didn’t take
long. Many hands make light work, or so her Nana used to say. Kara pushed Nadia’s stroller—the baby was securely belted—there was a packed bag hanging from the handle bearing snacks, Nadia’s lunch, extra diapers, her favorite blanket, and a first aid kit.

Just in case.

Her cell phone was in her pocket, where she’d be sure to feel it when it vibrated.

Sean, Jake, and Lucas brought a ball from Nadia’s toy box, but wouldn’t let her have it until they reached the park. Nadia, to Kara’s embarrassment, was not taking that decision very well, and was screaming at the top of her little lungs.

“Ignore it, right?” Kara asked Bree. “That’s what the experts always say about tantrums.”

“Yes.” Bree nodded firmly. “She’s mad and that’s okay. She needs to learn to control her own temper.”

Sure enough, Nadia decided to stop screaming by the time they’d reached the first intersection. And by the time they’d reached the park, she was back to babbling and laughing. They’d just found a patch of grass in the warm June sun when the fire alarm pierced the air and Kara’s thoughts immediately flew to Reid.

Elena patted her back.

Kara let out a heavy sigh and watched Bree smile up at big Jake Killen, the pro hockey player who’d won her heart when she was just nineteen years old. Jake stole a kiss when Sabrina spread out the blanket. She turned her gaze to Cass and Sean. Sean ran his thumb down Cassandra’s jaw while she whispered something to him, a contented smile playing on his lips. Soon, the whole group of them would travel upstate to witness Jade and Ben marry. Bree and Jake. Cass and Sean. Elena and Lucas.

And her.

Just her.

She tuned them out, tuned them all out. Oh, of course she was happy for all of them. But if she were being completely honest with herself, she was even happier they’d all dropped everything for her and Nadia and that made her feel terribly guilty. She hated even more when things didn’t make sense the way they didn’t right now. Kara thought back to the Christmas just before Nadia was born and how determined Elena had been to ignore the signs everyone else saw in bright neon. It was Al, Luke’s best friend, who’d been able to crack that tough stubborn Larsen skull of hers.

“Hello!”

Speaking of. She looked up, smiled at Al in his shirt and tie.

“Lucas texted me. Is it okay to join you?”

“Of course it is!” Kara scooted off the blanket and pecked Al on the cheek. Lucas joined them, did that one-armed bro hug thing guys seemed to enjoy. She waited. She waited for Al to turn to her and point out the signs she hadn’t noticed. It was what Al did. Didn’t she deserve a little happiness? Didn’t she deserve love like her friends? Her sister?

She’d gone over it all a dozen—a thousand times. She’d never upset her mother. She’d never said things in anger to her the way Elena had. She’d never carried around any guilt. Things had been perfect! Okay. Maybe not perfect. She’d never gotten along well with her father. That hadn’t changed. After her mother was killed, her father grew even more distant. The last time she’d seen him was just after Nadia was born. He called once a month or so and sent Nadia gifts from time to time but no, things had not improved.

Was her mother punishing her for
that
? Was the sign she’d been waiting for to fix things with Dad? Every damn day, she searched and second-guessed and saw signs where obviously none existed. She scrubbed her hands over her face, hoped it wasn’t burning with mortification, and concluded she was a fool of monumental proportions.

“Ma! Out.” Nadia demanded from her stroller.

Absently, she unfastened Nadia’s restraints, set her daughter loose on the unsuspecting park visitors. Instantly, Nadia grabbed for the ball the guys had brought along.

“Okay, yes, you can play ball now,” Lucas told her with a laugh. He led her to a patch of grass and gently tossed her the ball. Nadia giggled and shrieked as she chased after it.

“Relax, Mama.” Bree smiled. “The guys will all watch her.” She jerked her chin toward the lawn where Sean and Jake had already joined the game.

Grateful, Kara sank to the blanket and watched her daughter play.

“Tell me about Reid.” Cass patted Kara’s knee.

Kara shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about him. He was just another mistake.”

“No. No, sweetheart. He wasn’t.” Elena shook her head. “You love him and Kara, I’m telling you, he loves you right back.”

Kara laughed once. She was done with love.

“Uh oh, she’s on a breakaway!” Jake shouted.

Kara’s head snapped around just in time to see Nadia dart after the ball and disappear, all three guys chasing her. “Oh, God.” She scrambled to her feet, hurried to catch up. By the time she had, she found her daughter safe and sound…

In Reid Bennett’s arms.

*

Reid walked through
the park, his steps slow to keep the pounding in his head from ratcheting back up.

No. That was an excuse.

He was stalling.

He had to see Kara, apologize, explain everything. He just didn’t have the words. He knew he was a bad risk. He had little to offer…except scars. And they ran so deep, he wasn’t sure there was anything else left. He knew only that he loved her and hoped to God that could be enough.

He spotted an empty bench and sank down, not surprised to find his hands shaking. He’d thought leaving and staying away were the right things to do. After trying it for a day, he now concluded it wasn’t possible. The pain was crushing. He couldn’t get Kara—or Nadia—off his mind. Every blond he saw was Kara. Every toddler he saw was Nadia.

A shriek to his right had his head snapping toward a baby running his way. Four guys were chasing her. He was on his feet before the thought connected.
Nadia
.

“Eeeeeeed!”

“Jesus.” The baby was in his arms and it
was
Nadia and he never wanted to let her go. “Hey, little miss. Where do you think you’re going, huh? And where’s your mommy?” He looked up, expecting to find Kara right on Nadia’s heels, but instead, found a huge guy heading straight for them.

“Hey! I’ll take her now, thank you.”

When the stranger held out his arms for the child Reid turned her away, shifted her to one arm, ready to fight to the death to protect her if he had to. “I don’t think so, pal.”

The big man’s eyes narrowed and suddenly, Reid knew who this was. “You’re…holy crap, you’re Jake Killen, the hockey player.”