HisIndecentBoxSetpub (69 page)

Thanks to Dominick,
my sister and I were able to act as close to a normal family as
possible. We'd both go to school during the day, but by the time the
bus dropped me off, she'd be waiting for me at home. She wasn't a
replacement for Mom, but I knew she tried her best.

The years passed,
and Tammy finished college and was able to get a job as a manager at
the local bank. She made sure her schedule still allowed for her to
be home before I got off school. With Dominick no longer needing to
support us, he quit his job and started coming around more.

It was strange
seeing him and Tammy together again. Not quite how I remembered it
when I was a child. Then again, at twelve years old, I was beginning
to understand more about how the world worked. Love was no longer a
foreign concept to me. I could see the way Dominick looked at my
sister. But when she looked back at him, the sentiment wasn't
returned.

I thought about
asking her why they weren't a couple, but the truth was that I didn't
want them to be. One thing that hadn't changed through the years was
my attraction to Dominick, though it had matured like the rest of me.
It was a silly little girl's fantasy to one day have him as my
husband. He was absolutely perfect, both physically and emotionally.
Everything that a man should be.

Like my sister, I
enjoyed things the way they were. Dominick came around, treating us
with all the love and respect that he always had. My sister wasn't
dating him, so I could still daydream that someday he would be mine.
He had stuck by us for all of those years, so I took for granted
thinking that he would always be a permanent fixture in my life.

Then Tammy started
dating someone else, a doctor fresh out of medical school named
Marcus Johnson. He was smart and caring and handsome. Not the same
kind of handsome as Dominick. This man was well-dressed and into
fashion. Dominick had always been more of a rugged jeans and T-shirt
guy.

Though I could tell
it hurt Dominick to see them together, he still remained my sister's
best friend. With this new man in Tammy's life, she seemed to need
Dominick less. While he didn't disappear almost completely as he had
when Tammy was going to college, we didn't see him as often, and that
made me sad.

A stupid part of me
wished he would come around just for me, but I knew that was an
unrealistic expectation. I was still a child. Dominick didn't see me
in a romantic way. He never had, and I was almost certain he never
would.

While the man whom
Tammy was dating was nice, I secretly began resenting him for taking
Dominick's place. Though I hadn't wanted them to be together, I had
never really taken the time to think about what would happen if
someone else came into Tammy's life. Dominick had been around for as
long as I could remember. I couldn't even imagine him not being
there.

There are two
heartbreaking days in my history I will never forget; the day my
parents died, and the day Tammy announced her engagement to Marcus
Johnson. I remember the joy in her expression as she told me almost
the second I had stepped inside the house after getting off the
school bus. She was practically jumping, her cheeks rosy with
excitement, her green eyes glimmering in a way I had never seen them
before.

“
Kim.
Guess what? Guess what? Guess what?” she said to me, fighting
back a squeal. Considering that one 'guess what' had not been
sufficient enough, I could only assume it was something good.

“
What?”
I asked, smiling back, though I was confused.

“
Notice
something different?”

I scanned her up and
down. Her perfect straight black hair looked no shorter. Her outfit
definitely wasn't new. I looked at her nails to see if she had gotten
them done. That's when I noticed the ring. My mouth dropped open.

“
Oh
my God, Tammy. Is that what I think it is?”

“
Yes!!!”
She cried out, wrapping her arms around me and twirling me around. I
was only thirteen at the time, so I was still light enough for her to
pick me up, just barely though. “Marcus finally proposed!”

“
I'm
so happy for you,” I replied genuinely, though in the back of
my mind, my thoughts were racing as to what would happen to us. Ever
since our parents died, it had just been Tammy and I. It would be
strange having a man in the house.

“
I
know, right?” She set me down and then quickly straightened out
her outfit. “Dominick is on his way over. I haven't told him
yet. Act like you don't know anything. I want him to be surprised
too.”

“
Alright.”

I hadn't really
thought about how Dominick would take the news. While he obviously
hadn't been happy about Marcus and Tammy dating, he had accepted it.
I figured he would accept this as well. What choice did he have?

I waited outside for
him, thinking about what this new engagement meant for my life. I
liked Marcus, but how comfortable would I be with him living with us.
Would a lot of things change? Tammy and I usually watched movies
together on Monday nights and spent as long as we could in our
pajamas on Sundays. Were those traditions now limited to the time
before Marcus moving in? There would definitely be an adjustment
period.

Dominick pulled up
in front of the house in his old Datsun. The thing was on its last
leg. It looked about as bad as it sounded, with orange paint that was
chipped in so many places that the thing looked spotted. He called it
the Frankenstein car. Every time it died, he said he would do
whatever it took to bring it back to life. The car had been in the
shop more times than the number of years I had been alive. My sister
always joked that there was no floorboard, and that he moved the car
with his feet like Fred Flinstone.

Dominick strode up
the driveway with a smile on his face. He took the porch steps two at
a time and then leaned over to muss up my hair.

“
Hey
kiddo,” he said in his husky comforting voice.

“
Hi,”
I replied shyly and then followed him inside.

Unlike she had been
when I came home, Tammy had a straight face when she laid eyes on
Dominick. They greeted each other with a hug, and then she offered to
get him something to drink, and we went into the living room to sit
down.

The conversation
started casually enough. Dominick asked how we'd been and what we'd
been up to. Tammy kept extending her hand and placing it on her knee,
an obvious display of the ring, though Dominick missed it completely.

Finally, when she
got sick of waiting for him to see it, she said, “Do you notice
anything different about me?”

“
You
look more beautiful than the last time I saw you,” he replied
without hesitation. While it was a sweet sentiment, it made my heart
sink into my stomach. He loved her still. He would always love her,
no matter what.

“
No,
but thanks for the compliment.” Tammy grinned, though I could
sense she felt a bit uncomfortable from his comment.

“
Then
I'm out of guesses.” He reclined.

The elated smile
crept back across Tammy's face as she disclosed the good news.
“Marcus proposed.” She held out the ring.

I watched Dominick's
face like a hawk then, my eyes seeking any change of expression.

He leaned forward
and gave the ring an appreciative nod. “A diamond fit for a
princess.”

If there was any
negative emotion inside his heart, he hid it well. He took the news
with the same regard as if they were talking about the weather. When
he started asking her about the details of the wedding, I relaxed.
Everything was going to be okay.

With one less thing
to worry about, I decided to go outside for some air. Since Tammy and
I lived together, she could fill me in on the details later. I was
sure the wedding would be all I would hear about up until it
happened. It wasn't imperative that I subjected myself to it now.
Besides, Dominick and Tammy so rarely got to be alone, I thought it
was politer to leave them to themselves.

When I went on the
front porch, my mind returned to thoughts of how the marriage would
affect my life. In a way, it was kind of like living with a single
parent who was about to remarry. Tammy wasn't just going to abandon
me. She had been playing the part of Mom since our parents died.
Would Marcus step in and try to be my dad or would our relationship
be something else?

The door opened, and
Dominick stepped outside. I thought about saying something to him,
but I didn't. I don't know why at the time. Nothing seemed to be
wrong. I had even heard him and my sister laughing as she walked him
to the door. While the walls of our house weren't thin, sound still
carried through, especially where I was sitting beside the
dining-room window.

Dominick simply
stood there for a moment, staring out into our yard. Then I saw the
light glistening in his eyes. When the first tear cascaded down his
cheek, my heart completely shattered. The broken pieces clung to the
walls of my stomach, afraid that he would see me.

It had all been an
act, the way he had seemed so cool and composed in front of my sister
when she had told him the news. He had been sitting there dying
inside, but he had done it with a smile on his face, never allowing
us to see his true feelings. If he knew I was watching him cry, it
would only add to the injury, so I did my best to stay as quiet as a
mouse, to blend into the wooden swing I was sitting on.

By some miracle, he
didn't turn my way. He inhaled deeply and walked off of our porch.
His long strides made it seem like he wanted to run. When he got into
his car, that's when he really broke down. He wrapped his arms around
the steering wheel and sobbed into them. As I watched his back heave,
I couldn't contain my own sorrow. I wept with him, trying to be quiet
as so not to draw my sister outside. I wasn't crying for myself or
because of worries over the future. I was crying for him.