HisMarriageBargain (32 page)

There was so much to talk about. So many lies that had come
to the surface while he’d been out. He didn’t know how to tackle the elephant
in the room, and wasn’t sure if he had the energy to do it yet.

They stayed that way for a long time, not speaking, simply
holding hands and touching. Autumn could have left him once she found out the
truth, but she’d stayed with him.

“Have they fed you?” Autumn asked after a while.

“They’re supposed to send some broth around sometime soon.
I’m getting real sick of liquids.”

“I can’t blame you.” That got a smile out of her and she
shook her head. “You should get some rest.”

She tried to pull away but he held tight to her hand.

“Don’t go.”

Autumn pursed her lips and her brows drew down. Uncertainty
flitted across her face. Was it him she didn’t trust anymore? He couldn’t blame
her, but he couldn’t lose her again. Not yet.

“I know we have a lot to talk about and I owe you so many
explanations.”

“Sammi, we—”

“Just sit with me awhile?”

She paused and thumbed at the bathroom door. “I need to
pee.”

He didn’t believe the answer but let her go anyways.

Autumn escaped into the bathroom and he scrubbed a hand
across the short beard lining his jaw.

If he wasn’t dying, would Autumn stay with him?

Did they have the kind of love that would last through this?

Sammi didn’t know the answers.

* * * * *

Sammi rolled his eyes and glanced at the clock. How long was
he going to have to put up with this before Autumn got back?

“Isn’t this a better view?” His mother pulled the curtains
in the new hospital room, no longer in ICU. Late-morning sunshine stabbed him
in the eyes.

“Oh, come on, Mom. Close those, will you?” He shielded his
light-sensitive eyes and groaned as another headache pulsed in his temples. The
list of side effects and lingering symptoms of poisoning was long, and meant
everything he did was fraught with some kind of pain or complication.

“Sunlight is good for you,” she insisted.

She busied about the room, arranging vases of flowers that
had arrived from friends at the synagogue and work. His room was starting to
look more like a florist’s shop every passing hour.

“They should be here by now.” Her frown deepened as she
stared at her wristwatch.

“No one needs to come see me.” The last thing Sammi needed
was people visiting to see the attempted homicide victim, or possibly come into
contact with the person responsible. After a second chat with Officer Ryan and
Autumn, he realized many of his sicknesses over the last year, maybe even two
years, were likely a result of poison.

“Don’t be silly. Everyone wants to.”

Sammi slipped his phone out from under his pillow. He’d had
to stash it earlier to keep it from his mother’s obsessive cleaning for
company.

He tapped out a quick text to Autumn.

Is there any way to not have visitors?

A few seconds later, she responded.

We could always ask the nurses to keep people out. I’d be
down for another conjugal visit.

What he wanted? Now that was another set of ideas.

I’d rather be back at St Maarten with you. Remember that
little tent?

“What are you smiling about, Samuel?”

“Oh nothing, Mom.” Sammi lifted a knee to tent the blankets
in a non-suspicious manner.

Do you really want me to answer this? Are you looking to
get a boner in front of your mom?

Guilty.

Autumn had stayed with him all night, and though she’d
remained grave and serious, she’d kissed him and held him as though he was a
man she didn’t want to leave. He’d have to trust in that.

“Rabbi! How good of you to stop by,” his mother exclaimed.

“Hello.” The old rabbi followed by two elders stepped into
the room. “Good to see you’re awake, son.”

“Glad I am.” He nodded and let the phone rest under the
blanket.

Great. Company.

The three men were followed a few moments later by more
people—Aaron, Michael, Dalya and even Christine. In a matter of moments, his
almost quiet haven was a riot of sound, people and even a food tray being
passed around. It was absurd, and the last thing he wanted. They were awfully
comfortable standing around talking about him, but not a word to him.

“What the fuck is this?” Autumn’s voice cut through the
noise like a knife.

“Oh my, it’s her,” Dalya sneered. “Someone call security.”

“What the hell?” Sammi’s voice was lost in the sudden rush
to speak.

Michael and Aaron headed toward the door but quickly
backpedaled.

“I’m going to need everyone to please exit the room except
for family,” the raised voice of Officer Ryan boomed over the small crowd.

The crowd dispersed almost as fast as it arrived. There was
food where flowers and plants hadn’t been, and if he weren’t mistaken, at least
one champagne glass.

“What’s the meaning of this?” His mother stood at the end of
his bed, arms crossed over her chest, flanked by the rabbi and an elder.

Autumn came to stand next to his bed, her face creased with
more worry.

“It’s okay, there were just too many people in here,” he
muttered to her.

“Hm.” She squeezed his hand but never took her gaze from the
three officers.

“Tamara Zimmerman, you are under arrest for the attempted
homicide by poisoning of your son.” Officer Ryan’s voice was drowned out by the
shriek of rage from his mother and the outraged cries of the rabbi.

“What?” Sammi sat up straighter, but the officers were
handcuffing his mother and reading her her rights.

His mother’s gaze was wild and she snarled.

Two officers hauled her out of the hospital room, and all
Sammi could do was stare.

* * * * *

Autumn stood on the curb, eyeing the Escalade with dread.
She’d never driven something so large, but Sammi had insisted on riding home in
his own vehicle. Since he hadn’t spoken unless asked a direct, unavoidable
question since his mother’s arrest on Wednesday, Autumn complied. Almost three
full days of the silent treatment didn’t make for the best TGIF.

“Here you are, Mr. Zimmerman.” The orderly wheeled Sammi to
the passenger-side door and flipped on the brakes.

“Thank you, Dennis,” Autumn said automatically.

Dennis merely smiled and handed over Sammi’s belongings. She
stowed them in the backseat and turned around to find Sammi, dressed in
sweatpants and a t-shirt from home, stepping into the passenger-side seat under
his own power.

She’d watched his first tentative steps on Wednesday
afternoon following the arrest. He’d showed so much improvement on Thursday
they’d considered releasing him then, but it eventually was pushed off until
Friday. The whole nightmare had taken an entire week, yet it felt as if a year
had passed since they’d been home and happy together.

Dennis shut the door and gave her a grin. “All set, Mrs.
Zimmerman. Hope we don’t have to see you around here again anytime soon.”

She shook his hand. “You and me both. Make time for some snow
cones with your kids, okay?”

Dennis nodded. “If they haven’t all melted, I will.”

Autumn circled the SUV, pausing outside the driver’s-side
door to take a deep, calming breath. She pushed her shoulders back and
collected herself. Finally she screwed her smile in place and slipped into the
car.

“Okay, let’s see if I can drive this thing.” She chuckled
and slipped the seat belt on. It had taken almost half an hour of fiddling with
the buttons to get the seat right that morning in preparation for the drive
home.

Sammi did not reply.

“Home we go.”

Autumn spoke out loud more for her benefit than his. The
silence was unbearable. She had no idea if he was angry with her, his mother,
depressed, happy, relieved or what. The line of communication had been severed,
either by her disappearing act or the unfolding events at the hospital, she
didn’t know, but she also couldn’t blame him. She had left him when he needed
her.

Another person might be celebrating the new lease on life.

Sammi was not dying. In fact, he was recovering quite well,
according to the doctors. There would be possible complications in the future,
so a string of checkups were scheduled, for which Autumn had purchased a small
paper calendar that tucked into her purse. It listed all the doctors, their
phone numbers and even many of the physician assistants’ names. She feared she
was finally getting the hang of this adult business.

A car honked as Autumn took a turn too wide and slipped into
the middle lane.

“Watch out,” Sammi barked.

“Oops, sorry.” Autumn swerved back into her lane and gripped
the wheel so tight her knuckles turned white. “I’m sorry.”

Sammi blew out a breath and relaxed back into the seat.
“It’s okay, just turn like you would your car. This has a pretty decent turn
radius.”

“Okay.” She nodded, more than ready to agree with whatever
he said since he was, you know, talking to her.

“Hungry for something other than hospital food?” she asked,
hoping for a reply.

Sammi grunted and she caught movement out of the corner of
her eye that might have been a shrug.

Autumn made it the full half-hour drive to the house without
further incident. In complete silence. By the time she pulled into the driveway
and parked in the garage she was relieved for the escape of all the little
things to do to settle Sammi.

“I don’t want to smother you, so you tell me how much help
you want.” She turned toward Sammi, sitting utterly still in the passenger-side
seat.

For a few moments neither moved or spoke.

“I’ve got it,” Sammi said abruptly and released the catch on
the seat belt.

“Okay.”

Autumn followed him into the house, clutching the white
plastic bags of belongings to her chest so she wouldn’t open the doors for him
or offer a steadying hand. He moved with stiffness the doctors said would go
away in a day or so with light exercise.

“I was thinking I’d make some lunch. The doctors said soup
is best, but I thought maybe something with meat in it. I could do a chicken
noodle if you’d like?” Autumn left the bag in the laundry room as they passed.

Sammi shrugged and ambled into the living room.

Autumn stopped in the kitchen, watching him. He paused by
the recliner, gazing at it as if he were considering sitting, but started past
it for the patio doors. She wanted to tell him to stay inside. The weather had
cooled to the upper nineties courtesy of a “cold front” from up north but it
was still humid and uncomfortable. Autumn held her tongue and went to watch him
from the window over the sink.

Sammi stood on the patio. At some point a rectangular table
had been delivered to seat six, probably during her latest disappearing act. He
stood with one hand on the chairs, staring out at the backyard.

Her heart ached for him. She knew what it was to have a
mother betray you. While her mother had a steady addiction problem, Autumn
didn’t know how to even begin to comprehend what Sammi’s mother had done.

If she couldn’t solve the greater problems, she could at
least heat up a can of soup and take care of the physical ones.

Autumn set about putting together a light lunch, even
tossing in a grilled cheese sandwich she knew Sammi would like if he was up to
it. On a tray, she collected the sandwich, bowl and a tall glass of iced tea
Ester had brought by in preparation for their homecoming and took it outside.

Sammi had opened the umbrella over the patio set and sat in
the shade, still staring at nothing.

“Here’s something to eat, if you think you’re up to it.”
Autumn placed the meal in front of him and stood back, hands clasped in front
of her just hoping for a word.

His gaze dropped to the tray, perhaps not even seeing it.
She couldn’t tell. He reached for the glass of tea and her stomach dropped.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think.”

She reached to snatch it off the tray, but he lifted it to
his lips and drank deeply of the cold liquid. He held it away from him,
examining the glass, condensation beading on the exterior, and set it down.

Autumn sat heavily in the seat next to him and watched his
profile, the lack of emotion.

“She had Münchausen syndrome by proxy. It’s not an official
diagnosis, but her psychiatrist told me he suspected it a year ago. I talked
her into seeing him after Dad died. Did you know they want to exhume Dad’s body
to see if she caused his heart attack?” Sammi looked at her then. The flecks of
gold in his brown eyes flashed, and for a moment Autumn could feel his pain and
anger. Then it was gone. Shut off. “It shouldn’t surprise me.”

“But she’s your mother.” She took his hand and squeezed.
“It’s not the same thing, but I know how it feels to be betrayed by family.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and dropped her hand, picking up the spoon
and tucking into the food.

Autumn waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t
glance at her, just ate the meal she’d prepared and acted as if she weren’t
there.

Portrait Tattoos—These images are often created to
memorialize a loved one or an icon. The goal is to make the tattoo as realistic
as the image or person depicted.

Sammi watched the TV without following what the actors said
or did. He needed a set of brakes or something to keep the world from passing
him by. For a lazy Saturday, it was speeding by.

He could hear Ester and Autumn in the kitchen, keeping their
voices low as they put together the evening meal. Isaac hadn’t tried speaking
to him after the first few minutes.

The truth was, he wasn’t ready to talk, to discuss the last
week or the path his life had taken. He wanted more than anything to be left
alone with his thoughts, but everyone wanted to help him.

* * * * *

Autumn juggled the three pizzas and her duffle bag as she
climbed the stairs to Carly’s apartment. Pandora and Brian’s Jeep, Kellie’s
Cube and Mary’s DeVille were in the drive already. She blew out a breath and
climbed the last few stairs as the door banged open.

“Autumn,” Pandora yelled, beer hoisted high.

“Pandora,” she yelled back, laughing. “Popped the first one
without me?”

“No, this one is yours. I just opened it.” Pandora held the
door for her as she stepped into the cozy place.

“How is she?” Autumn whispered as she passed.

“Eh.” Pandora shrugged and closed the door behind her.

“Hey, Care Bear,” Kellie called out from her place on the
couch.

Mary stepped out of the bathroom at that exact moment and
took the pizzas. “Hello,
mija
. How are you?”

Autumn wrapped an arm around Mary’s shoulders and squeezed.
It felt good to be around her girls. “Exhausted and ready for some fun.” She
smiled, but it only went skin-deep. Tonight she needed her friends. Badly.

Carly wheeled around the kitchen, pulling disposable plates
and a new roll of paper towels out and setting them on the counter.

“Hey, Carly.” Autumn leaned against the cabinets and studied
her friend.

“Hey.” Carly glanced at her and a smile flickered across her
face, but she didn’t even try to hide how blue she was.

“Here we go. A cheese and spinach. A meat lovers’. And a
cinnamon chocolate. Yum!” Kellie flipped back the lids of the boxes and the
apartment filled with the delicious aroma of pizza.

They shuffled through the kitchen, gathering their pizza and
beer and settling in the living room. Autumn took a seat on the floor, pillows
cushioning the otherwise hard surface.

“Thanks for picking up the pizza,” Kellie said.

“No problem.” Autumn smiled.
Thanks for including me.

“How’s Sammi?” Mary asked.

Autumn blinked for a moment. Mary was a woman of few words,
and normally took the role of a listener in conversation.

“He’s back on his feet.” She shrugged and glanced away.

“He’s been home for what? A week now?” Pandora asked.

Autumn nodded. A week of the silent treatment. Fixing
lunches, doing his laundry, making sure he went to the doctor’s office, running
interference with well-meaning friends who wanted to drop in for gossip. And
not a kind word spoken to her.

“What’s going on?” Carly asked, perking up for once.

“I’m just—I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it.” She
sucked in a deep breath and used her paper towel to daub her eyes.

For a few moments no one spoke. The awkwardness level rose
at least ten points.

“Jacob’s wife is pregnant and everyone’s acting like someone
died,” Carly said completely deadpan.

Autumn blinked.

“That’s why they called you over here, wasn’t it?” Carly
thumbed at the couch of guilty participants.

“Well, yeah.” Autumn nibbled on a pepperoni. Pandora had
called her earlier, frantically trying to put together a last-minute girls’
night.

“We’re concerned about you. Jacob and you were close.”
Pandora leaned forward, her face creased with worry. Just like a mother.

“Please, I am an adult. I’m done sulking about this. It just
makes it super awkward when you guys act like you have to walk around on eggshells.
It’s not like I didn’t know he was going to get married.” She shrugged and
picked up a slice of pizza. “I’ll get over it.”

Autumn smiled at Carly, who lifted her pizza to her in
silent salute.

“I moved out of the house and back into my apartment today,”
Autumn said in a rush.

“What?” Pandora shrieked.

“Why?” Kellie almost dropped her beer.

Carly and Mary just stared at her.

Autumn set her plate on the ground, no longer hungry. She
carefully wiped her fingers off. It was time to come clean. The charade was
over.

“The last two months have been a lie.” She shrugged and
wrapped her arms around her knees. “Sammi thought he was dying from a childhood
illness, and all this time his mother was poisoning him. He was ready to die
when he thought he couldn’t get better, and he asked me to marry him. Because
he’d never thought he’d live long enough to.” Tears started flowing freely as
she continued to recount the story, but all she could feel was the unrequited
love burning a hole in her chest.

“Wow,” Carly said when she was done.

“He left for a conference on Thursday. I started moving out
yesterday. I’m not going to wait for him to divorce me. It’ll be better for
both of us if I move out. He’s back on his feet now, and we can still be friends,
right?” She wiped her face, groaning at the black streaks of mascara on the
napkin.

Great. Just fucking wonderful.

“I’ll drink to that.” Carly leaned over and clinked her beer
against Autumn’s. “Here’s to moving on.”

They ate in silence for a few moments.

“What are you going to do next?” Kellie asked.

Autumn shrugged. “I’ve done a few tattoos this last week. I
guess I’ll get my shit together and figure it out come midweek. I should have a
better idea what’s going on then.” And Sammi would have returned from his
conference and found her letter.

“You should come back to the shop,” Mary said into the
brooding silence. “We could use you. And I kind of miss you.”

“Really?” Autumn’s eyes teared up all over again.

Mary rolled her eyes and muttered something. “Yes, I’m
really serious.”

Autumn sprang to her feet and launched herself at Mary,
landing across the laps of Mary and Pandora in the process. Pizza and beer went
flying, there were both curses and laughter, but she didn’t care. So Inked was
home, and right now she needed her home more than anything.

* * * * *

Sammi stared out of the window of his empty hotel room. A
black cloud streamed up into the sky. Austin’s nightly rising of the bats. He’d
gone to see it up close once a few years back with his father. Sammi hadn’t
been particularly interested in it at the time, but those moments were the ones
he missed now. The ones that had been stolen from him.

He glanced at his nails out of habit. If he’d known what
those stripes signified two years before, maybe the world would be different.
Though the police were busy exhuming his father’s body, Sammi knew what the
outcome would be.

Arsenic poisoning.

Sammi tossed the contents of his glass back and closed his
eyes at the slow burn. The doctors and Autumn would have a cow if they knew he
was drinking, but he needed to feel something.

He should never have gone on this trip.

The best thing for him this last week had been Autumn’s
silent support. Here, alone in a fancy hotel, he was miserable.

Sammi pulled the armchair around to face the window and
watched the Texas sky fade to purples and blacks. It was beautiful. He passed
his hand over his shoulder where Autumn’s tattoo mimicked this moment and,
despite everything, he smiled. Warmth curled through his chest at the thought
of her.

They hadn’t had time to get on the same page again. Except
for their stolen moments at the hospital before the world went to hell, they
had hardly even spoken. He knew he owed her an apology, but when he looked at
her, the only thing on the tip of his tongue was, “I love you,” and for some
reason he couldn’t say it yet.

Sammi dug his phone out of his pocket and pulled up his
texts. Still no reply, but with the way she’d been sleeping ten hours a day
after taking care of him, he didn’t doubt she’d spent the whole weekend in bed.
When all of this was over, they needed to get away again. Just the two of them.
Maybe take that DC vacation like he’d suggested, or something more exotic.

It would be the two of them from now on. He had no doubt his
mother would receive a heavy sentence, lightened only by the consideration of
her mental condition. A week had given him perspective on her arrest. What
she’d done. He didn’t have answers for her betrayal, and for several nights
he’d sat on the patio, sweating half his body weight, wondering why. Trying to
come to grips.

The hardest thing to understand was his mother’s refusal to
see him. The doctors evaluating her had relayed her claims that he was deceased
and she in mourning. Every time he spoke to them, it just seemed that her
screws were looser and looser.

If it wasn’t for Autumn, he’d have died.

Hey sunshine. Thinking about you.

* * * * *

Autumn dipped her needle in ink. The tattoo was delicate. Swirling
bands of color arced over the young woman’s ring finger, and it was important
Autumn made sure this tattoo matched the one on her client’s new husband.

“You never said how you met,” Autumn prompted the woman,
Shari, to keep talking. She’d turned green during the outline and now had a
damp paper towel on her forehead and her husband held her other hand.

“I was bartending and he came in one night.” Shari turned
her attention on her husband Max, and not Autumn. “We started talking about
something random.”

“How you open straws for people,” Max said.

“Right. I tear them in the middle, stick it in a drink and
let a customer pull the rest of the paper off. I never touch the straw.
Anyways, he hung out all night even after his friends left.”

“What she isn’t telling you is that I bought her shots all
night.” Max grinned unashamed.

They were an adorable couple. Early twenties, hip, the light
of love and promise in their eyes. Autumn felt so much older than she really
was. At twenty she’d been starting her life over after turning on the hand that
fed her. For once she couldn’t see the silver lining.

“So how long have you been together?” She pushed her glasses
up her nose and carefully shaded in one of the swirls arching over the knuckle.

“Three years,” Shari replied, smiling sideways at her
husband.

“I’m lucky you stuck with me.” Max kissed her temple. “I was
also in a band at the time.”

“Oh no.” Autumn peered at him over the frames. “I have dated
my fair share of musicians.”

“Yeah. But love is worth fighting for.” Max uncurled his
left arm where the words were scrawled in script, with the
I
’s
punctuated with little red hearts.

Shari and Max continued to relate their three-year
relationship to her, his issues with alcohol and being faithful. Autumn
listened with one ear, making the appropriate noises, but her heart wasn’t in
it.

Sammi would have boarded the ten o’clock flight from Austin
to Dallas that morning. It was only about a forty-five minute jump, throw in
time to get from the airport home, he should arrive at the house any minute.

And find it empty.

Her gaze flicked to Max’s arm once more.

Is love really worth fighting for?

“All done,” Autumn announced not a moment too soon. She laid
the machine down and cleaned Shari up.

“Oh my god, it’s beautiful.” Shari laid her other hand over
her chest and admired the tattoo. “Thank you.”

“Thanks for letting me do them.” She wiggled her wedding
set, still on her finger because she couldn’t part with them. Not yet.

“It’s beautiful, just like you,” Max whispered to his bride.

Autumn’s breath caught in her throat. She could hear Sammi’s
voice in her mind, calling her Sunshine and telling her she was beautiful. Her
heart rate kicked up ten speeds and panic gripped her tight.

She couldn’t lose that.

Not yet.

“I-I’ve got to go.” She stripped off her gloves in a rush.

“What’s wrong?” Shari asked, blinking at her.

“I’ve got to go. Sammi’ll be home soon and—that note—I’ve
got to get that before he sees it.” She jumped to her feet. “Carly, I’ve got to
go.”

“What’s wrong?” Carly called from the front desk.

Autumn grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder.
“I’ve got to go,” she blurted again. “Can you?” She waved at the station.

“I’ve got it.” Pandora stepped in and started breaking down
the setup.

“Here, let me bandage that up for you.” Kellie slid between
Autumn and the couple, ripping open the Band-Aid.

“Go!” Mary shooed her out the back door.

“Thank you,” Autumn said through the lump in her throat.

“Go!” the three women said in unison.

Autumn rushed out the back door, checking the time on her
phone. If she hurried, she might get to the house at the same time as Sammi.

* * * * *

Sammi stared at the swirling script. Even her handwriting
seemed bubbly and full of life. A complete contradiction to the words.

I can’t live without love. I hope you care enough about
me to let me go with some measure of grace.

There was more. It all spoke of a woman so full of emotion
she was close to bursting—and his inability to communicate his love to her.

He’d read the letter through several times, but this time,
looking at it in their bedroom, devoid of her touches, he could feel the loss.
Without her, his life lacked color, expression or depth.