History Lessons (14 page)

"Of course not!" His tone was one of a man offended. "I'd never lie about you, or expect you to lie about me."

He tossed the note on the desk. "It's likely something else entirely, Lucy."

But he did not sound convinced enough to give her the kind of reassurance she needed.

"If it came down to it," she said. "I'd quit."

"Don't be ridiculous, Lucy."

"No, really.."

"Miss Primm!" He shouted her name, causing her to take a step back. Lucy's heart was pounding. He looked angry impatient and she wondered suddenly if she was coming across to desperate, too eager to keep him. All the feelings of doubt that their evening of passion has swept away now came seeping back in.

Lucy turned so he would not see the tears that welled up in her eyes.

"I should go," she said and when he didn't say anything Lucy did, her hand shaking as it reached for the door knob.

She stood outside the door for a moment, her ear trained on any noise coming from the other side. She did not want to walk away and spend the day not knowing what was going on. She wished he'd just go ahead and all so that she could discern, perhaps, from his side of the conversation whether or not their relationship was putting his job at risk.

She wondered what she would do. It was harder to say who had more at stake, her or Warren. He could work anywhere with his background and education while she...

Lucy tried to look ahead, to run the scenarios, but none of them seemed good. She knew it was ridiculous to worry, but couldn't stop herself. It didn't help when she finally heard his voice from the other side of the door, tense and quiet as he soothed the woman on the other end of the line.

"Yes, Mrs. McCreevey. I'm not denying the relationship. It is true. We are. Yes, I understand. I can understand why you are concerned. Yes, of course I realize why this cannot continue. It ends today. I assure you...."

Lucy felt herself grow sick with hurt. Just like that he was casting her aside? Without a word?

She turned, supporting herself against the wall before reaching into her pocket, pulling out a slip of paper and a pencil and hurriedly writing a resignation note. She slipped it under his door, not caring whether he saw it right away or not, hung her apron on peg outside his door and fled to her car and from Hartford House forever.

Chapter Ten

Lucy was glad that if things had to end this way, at least it was early in the day. She couldn't imagine picking Keegan up in her current state. Less than a mile down the highway, she could barely see the road for the tears.

She wondered how she could have been so wrong about Warren Ellis. Had she willingly blinded herself to some signs she should have seen simply because she felt so happy at being wanted? He was dedicated to his job; that much she knew. He lived and breathed history. Should it really surprise her that when it came down to choosing a chance to earn a living doing what he loved and taking on the responsibility of a woman and her child he would choose the former? Perhaps that was a mistake - entering a relationship with someone already married to his job. Next time...

"No!" she said aloud. There would be no next time. Since being abandoned by her mother, nothing had hurt her this bad. In fact, this was worse because her mother had always been a fickle, shallow person while Warren had always seemed like someone who genuinely cared about her.

She thought back to their fast-paced and unusual relationship. When he had first spanked her, she'd thought him mad. She was a grown woman after all. But after getting to know, after coming to believe that he only had her best interest and personal development at heart, she came to see his disciplinarian side as part of a unique, old-fashioned outlook that was charming and rare. He cared enough about her to guide her, to advise her, even to correct her if needed.

But now Lucy realized he was committed to her only to a point, and the possibility of losing his job to keep her was not a line he was willing to cross. It made her especially distressed to know that Dr. Nook's mother-in-law - and likely Dr. Nook and his family - would know about the breakup before Warren Ellis got around to telling her himself.

That didn't matter to her; the opinions of others rarely did. But she still wondered if the happy glow that had infused her when she'd gone with Warren to pick Keegan up at Dr. Nook's the day before showed through. Did everyone see how giddy with love she was for the man at her side? They'd just slept together for the first time - an act that wasn't planned but had just evolved out of their own deep feelings. And now, a day later, he was ready to call it off.

Lucy drove up the highway instead of going home. She didn't want him calling her there when he got the note. She pulled into a diner, the gravel of the parking lot crunching under the tires of her car as she guided it into a space by the door. She hurriedly checked her face in the rearview mirror before exiting the car. Her eyes were puffy, her nose red. Lucy hurriedly dabbed some powder on her face, hoping her appearance would not be too noticeable.

The diner wasn't busy yet. She found a booth in the corner. The vinyl squeaked as she sat down. For some reason, she thought of the last dinner she and Warren and Keegan had shared together, and about the time she'd cooked while they played together in the other room. It had been at his house, where she'd let herself fantasize about living someday. Tears slipped down her cheeks again, her sadness beyond control.

"You look like you could use some a few of these." A matronly looking waitress with teased hair and too much make up was standing by the booth. Her face was kind as she reached into her pocket and pulled out some Kleenex.

"Oh, sorry," Lucy said.

"Don't be." The waitress put a coffee cup and a pot of coffee on the table. "You aren't the first man - or woman - to come in here all upset. Of course, with it being a 24 hour diner usually the tears start a little later."

She handed Lucy a menu. "Need an ear? I'm a good listener."

Lucy started to say 'no,' but it occurred to her that at that moment in her life she had no one to talk to. The one friend she had was now alienated from her, thanks to what had been perceived as special treatment at Hartford House. Her mother was unavailable. She wasn't about to unburden herself to Keegan, who wouldn't understand why Warren Ellis was suddenly out of their lives. She had no one.

"Yeah, actually I do," Lucy said, wiping her eyes.

The waitress slid into the seat across from her. Reaching out, she took Lucy's hand.

"What's wrong honey? Is it a man? It's always a man..."

"Yes and no," Lucy said. "I mean, yes, it's a man. He's about to break up with me and I just don't know what I'm going to do."

"Do you love him?" she asked.

Lucy nodded and began to cry again. "And I thought he loved me. But if he stays with me he'll lose his job."

"You work together?"

Lucy nodded again and blew her nose. "He was my boss."

"Seems kind of unfair for him to get involved with you knowing the risk and then dump you when the heat is on." The waitress poured Lucy a cup of coffee and shook her head. "If you ask me, he sounds like a jerk..."

Lucy paused at this, recalling how careful Warren had been. He'd been concerned about appearances. Yes, he had known the risks. And yet he'd talked about their being together as a couple. It didn't make sense.

Lucy wanted to agree, to tell the waitress that yes, he was a jerk and that she was lucky to be rid of him. But she couldn't.

"No, that's what makes it so hard," she said quietly. "He's a good guy. A really good guy. Good to me, to my son. Keegan - that's my little boy - is four. His dad has never been in his life. War-- the guy I was seeing treated him like his own flesh and blood."

The waitress sat watching her thoughtfully.

"You said he's about to break up with you. So it hasn't actually happened yet?"

"No," Lucy replied. "I overheard him tell someone he was going to end it."

"And you're sure he was talking about the relationship?"

"Positive," Lucy said.

The waitress sighed. "I wish I could say something comforting to you. But all I can tell you is that life goes on. I've been there, sweetie. I've been there. It's a rare man that's exactly what you think he is when you meet him. Most of the time they show their true colors and that's when you realize that knight in shining armor was just some jerk in a tinfoil hat."

She patted Lucy's hand. "But you're a pretty thing. You can still find somebody. Believe me, once you get to be my age all the good ones are taken or dead."

Lucy knew the waitress was just trying to help, but was having a hard time taking comfort in her words. Still, it had been nice having someone to vent to. And the large piece of blueberry pie topped with fresh cream - a gift from one woman to another, the waitress said - gave her hope that even on a terrible day something good could happen.

She'd gotten her emotions under control by the time she left. In the car there were four voice mails on her phone. Lucy panicked at first, worried that they were from Keegan's school. But they were all from Warren. She could not bring herself to listen to them. She'd decided the only way she could get through this was to make a clean break from the relationship.

She spent the rest of the day on the back roads, visiting fruit stands for Keegan's favorites for pie. She knew it was reckless to splurge on organic berries when she'd just quit her job, so to make herself feel more responsible she stopped and picked up a paper. For the next hour she sat in the park looking through want ads and fighting the desolation she felt as reality sunk in. Jobs were scarce; there were none in her small town that paid even close to what she was making at Hartford House. Would she have to move, uproot Keegan from his school to pursue work that could support them both? She began to cry again.

She told herself it would be the last pity party she'd throw for herself. Keegan's preschool let out in an hour. She needed to pull herself together. If he asked about Warren, she'd tell him that the man he'd spent so much time with was busy. Perhaps that excuse would pacify Keegan for a few days. When the weekend rolled around she'd take her son somewhere nice - maybe to this shady park - and break the news to him while they sat on the swings or fed the ducks. She'd tell him that it was back to the two of them, and that would be the way it would stay...

Her phone rang. She looked down to see Warren's number. She shoved the phone in her purse and ignored its persistent ringing. It was close to time to get Keegan. He was her only focus now.

Lucy drove slowly, arriving at her son's day school just as it was letting out. The teachers were passing out the little art projects they'd done that day as assistants helped the students with book bags and coats. Keegan did not see her right away. She could see, though, that he'd drawn a picture of himself and a tall man feeding chickens. Her heart twisted in her chest and a lump rose in her throat. She wouldn't have to ask who the man in the drawing was.

"He's a fine-looking little guy.."

Lucy turned to see Dr. Nook beside her. Apparently his wife was holding down the fort while he picked up their daughter.

"Yes, thanks..." she said.

He nudged her. "Hey, not to intrude on your personal business but my mother-in-law told me about you and Warren Ellis. I think that's really a good decision for you both.."

Lucy felt the blood drain from her face. She'd never thought Dr. Nook to be a crass person, and his words took her by surprise.

"Really?" was all she could say.

"Yeah," he said. "A man in his position - house, good job, so much going for him. He needs to keep moving forward in life. If I were him I'd have done the same thing if you don't mind my saying so..."

Lucy looked away so he wouldn't see the tears of hurt that welled up in her eyes. Hurriedly she rushed over to her son, who ran to her with arms open, his drawing flapping in one clenched fist.

"Hey, champ," she said, relieve that he didn't notice her distress.

Instantly he launched into a litany of all the things he'd done that day as Lucy hurried him out. She could hear Dr. Nook behind her, calling to her. It was apparent that he'd picked up on what her son had not.

"Lucy," he called. "Hey, Lucy. Is there something wrong? I'm sorry if..."

She was hurrying so fast to get away from him that she didn't see Warren Ellis before she collided with him. For a long moment she stood there, looking up at him with shock and sadness in her eyes. Dr. Nook caught up with them on the stoop and looked from Warren's hard face to Lucy's. Something was clearly wrong.

But before he could address it, Warren turned to Dr. Nook.

"Doc, could you do us a huge favor? Could you take Keegan to your house for a little while to play? We need to talk...alone."

Keegan, who was already talking to the Nooks' daughter, seemed pleased by the idea.

"Can I? Please? Please?"

Lucy could feel herself shaking with anxiety. She wanted to tell both men to go straight to hell for their total insensitivity but did not want her son to see her fall apart. So she nodded in assent.

"Sure," Dr. Nook said. "Come on, Sport. I'll take you two out for ice cream..."

As Dr. Nook led the children away, Warren took Lucy's hand in the same firm manner and pulled her along. Angrily, she stopped and jerked her hand out of his.

"I'm not one of the kids," she said. "So don't drag me."

He rounded on her. "At this moment, I'm beginning to think you're exactly like one of the kids. So if you don't want me to drag you then you'd better come along because at this point I'm really close to spanking you in front of everybody."

Lucy's face reddened. How dare he? How dare he treat her so dismissively, tell others of their break up so that the town knew it before he'd even told her and then treat her like she was a child? But he looked so serious that she wasn't about to test him and sulked along after him.

They went to his vehicle. He opened the door as he always did and she climbed in obediently. He drove to her house. They said nothing as she unlocked the door.