Hold Me Close (15 page)

On one hand, he gave her what she wanted: normalcy with her best friend. On the other hand, he’d given her an amazing orgasm. Shouldn’t he have had some reaction other than telling her to get ready?

It was all too much to process. How could he not be as rattled as she was?

As far as dates went, attending a Saint Patrick’s Day parade was far from the most romantic he’d ever planned. It was a small parade, not the official North Side or South Side parades that would take place next weekend. They wouldn’t be able to get away for one of the big ones because of the bar, so this one would have to do.

When he went back to her apartment, he wasn’t too surprised that although she wore a sweater, she still didn’t have a warm coat. “Don’t you have a winter coat?”

“Nope,” she said as she pulled her door closed and locked up.

“Hold on.” He ran back to his place to grab an extra jacket. “Here.”

“I’m fine.”

“You won’t be.”

They headed out the door with her carrying the extra jacket. “Now you’re worrying me. Where are we going?”

“Saint Paddy’s Day parade.”

“That’s next weekend.”

“This is a small one in the western suburbs. It won’t be quite the same, but it’s been a long time since we did the parade thing. Senior year?”

She crossed her arms as she walked toward his car. “No, we went to both parades our first year in college. That was one hell of a drinking weekend.”

He’d forgotten about that. They had the fantastic idea to do the South Side parade, get drunk at parties all night, and then go to the dyeing of the Chicago River in the morning and stay for the North Side parade. Most of it was a blur. They were nineteen. What had their parents been thinking?

Maggie smiled. “That was the last time I was allowed to go to the parade, because I got so sick. Ryan was pissed. I think he was madder than my parents were. Because of you, I was stuck working at the bar.”

“Sure, blame me. Whose idea was that excursion?”

She gave him a little shove. “Don’t remind me.”

He unlocked his truck and she climbed in without help. On the way to the parade, he stopped at a drive thru to get hot chocolate for Maggie and another coffee for him, along with some doughnuts. He drove near the end of the route since they’d missed the beginning. He found a parking lot for the truck, and they walked to get to the parade.

Maggie had pulled on his jacket before getting out of the truck, and it swallowed her. The sleeves dangled past her hands and the shoulders sat somewhere around the middle of her bicep. But at least she’d be warm. They found a decent spot at the curb. The first few groups had already gone by, but a marching band could be heard down the block.

“Hold this.” She handed him her cup and rolled the sleeves of his jacket enough to reveal her hands. “Better.” She took the cup back and watched the parade.

A group of kids from a Catholic school walked by, tossing candy to the crowd. They were followed by a politician whom he’d never heard of, and his entourage was passing out shamrock stickers and flyers about the guy’s policies. Maggie took both, stuck the shamrock on her cheek, and shoved the flyer in a pocket.

The high school marching band came in full force. They marched, they danced, they even had a baton twirler. Maggie yelled and clapped for each performance. A couple more groups passed and he leaned over to ask, “Having fun?”

“Yeah.”

Then it was the group he’d been waiting to see, a troupe of Irish dancers. Maggie had taken dance when she was younger but stopped before she got to high school. He’d often teased her about it.

The girls with their springy hair and stiff limbs stopped right in front of them and executed an awesome dance.

Shane put an arm around Maggie’s shoulder and pulled her close. “Were you ever that good?”

“I was better.”

He laughed, which earned him an elbow to the gut.

“Take my empty cup and I’ll prove it.” She shoved the cup at him and stepped off the curb. Locking eyes with him, she bounced to find the beat and then jumped up and started to dance. Arms stiff at her side, she began with a few small skips. Then she launched into hops and high-kicking jumps. Although he knew nothing about the technique, he thought she looked amazing. She was fierce and cocky and he loved it.

The dancers moved on and Maggie took a little bow. They watched a little more of the parade, but his ass was numb from the cold and Maggie’s cheeks had turned red, so they decided it was time to move on.

“That was fun. I wish my family could do something like this. I remember when we were little, my dad always took us to the parade. Well, technically, he made us walk in the parade, but it was always fun.” A wave of sadness crossed her face. “I miss that.”

“You miss him a lot, don’t you?” As soon as he asked the question, he realized how stupid it sounded. He couldn’t imagine not having his dad around all the time.

“Most of the time, I think I’m okay, but then I come to something like this and I realize how much I miss him.”

“I didn’t want this to be a sad thing.”

She took his hand. Her fingers were frozen. “It wasn’t. I had a lot of fun.”

“I never knew you had those moves. I think you should do a regular show at the bar.”

She laughed. “I actually wasn’t sure I’d remember the steps. I guess it had been drilled into me so much as a kid, I’ll never forget.”

“You looked good, though.”

“Yeah, sure. You’re just trying to get in my pants again.”

The joke halted him in his tracks. He licked his lips and the wind whipped at them painfully. “I’ll get where I want to get, babe. I don’t have to pretend to compliment you.”

“Big talker.”

He tugged her close. “I guess I’ll have to prove myself again. Last night wasn’t enough?”

She winked. “Last night was great, but as I pointed out, it didn’t totally fulfill our agreement.”

“And as I pointed out, we do this my way.”

The banter and jokes kept him at ease. The gray space they were dancing in felt dangerous, but as long as they could keep it light, they’d be okay. He hoped Maggie knew that too. Although she must’ve since she was the one who kept playing.

He drove to a restaurant so they could eat. The doughnuts had barely taken the edge off his hunger.

After they’d ordered lunch, Maggie asked, “So what are you doing about the police department?”

“What do you mean?”

“I assume they haven’t called. If they stop hiring, what’s your plan?”

“I don’t have one. Keep working with my dad, I guess.” He unwrapped his silverware from the napkin and toyed with it.

“That’s not much of a plan.”

“You’re one to talk. A couple of conversations with Moira and all of a sudden you’re a master planner?”

“God, no. But I have a plan. It might not even be a good one, but I’m doing something. I’m being proactive. You’re sitting on your ass and hoping it comes to you.” She stretched her leg out under the booth and set her foot next to his leg.

“What do you expect me to do? March into the police station and demand they hire me?”

She rolled her eyes. She could offer classes in doing that in such a way to make anyone feel stupid.

“Have you talked to Moira and Jimmy like my mom suggested? Have you applied anywhere besides the CPD? There are suburban districts you could go to.”

“Talking to Moira and, by extension, Jimmy seems weird. It’s not like talking to you. You’re my friend, Moira isn’t, and I don’t even know Jimmy. I haven’t looked at other places, because they’re small. I want a job that will make a difference.”

“Call me stupid, but wanting to work in a place where forty people get shot in a weekend doesn’t sound like fun.”

“Imagine how much worse the city would be without cops.”

“I didn’t say we didn’t need cops. Just . . . why do you need to be one here? It’s dangerous. And because you’ll be new, they’ll stick you in a crap neighborhood.”

The waitress arrived with their food, and Shane thought the conversation was over. Maggie, however, continued to talk as she squirted ketchup all over her fries.

“I would worry about you a lot if you were a cop.”

He hadn’t thought about that, at least not with Maggie. His mom hated the idea of him being a cop, but he hadn’t thought Maggie would take issue with it. For her, he would consider a suburban job. But she wouldn’t ask. “It would give you a taste of your own medicine. I always worry about you.”

She dropped her fork and raised her hands. “I don’t actively
look
for trouble, so you don’t need to worry about me. I live a quiet life.”

“So do I.”

“By definition, cops look for trouble.”

“Moira’s okay with marrying a cop.” Crap. He hadn’t meant it to sound like that.

“She respects that it’s his job, but that doesn’t stop her from worrying. Plus, Jimmy’s not out on the streets looking for gangbangers and drug dealers.” She returned to her food and dug in.

Luckily, his words hadn’t struck her as odd, but her argument gave him pause. He was determined to sleep with Maggie so she could feel better, whole, but in the back of his mind, he’d been thinking about them as a couple long term. If the department called, would it be a deal breaker?

He couldn’t go there. Not now. The department hadn’t called, and Maggie hadn’t agreed to give them a shot. He couldn’t think about possible problems in a nonexistent relationship. He needed to focus on one thing at a time. And right now, his attention was on getting Maggie naked and horny.

CHAPTER 11

M
aggie ate until she was stuffed. Then she watched Shane finish off her food after he cleaned his own plate. The guy still had the appetite of a teenager. She wondered what other appetites had remained from adolescence. Judging by how hard his dick was last night, he could probably go awhile, regardless of what he’d said about embarrassing himself. Every time she looked at his hands, all she could think about was how they had been inside her and she came all over them. As a blush crept across her skin she started to question everything Shane did.

Was their trip to the parade part of his seduction routine? What about lunch? She began to think they couldn’t be just friends hanging out, not until they actually had sex. Then she’d put it to bed, so to speak.

Crap. Every thought she had seemed to have a sexual meaning.

“Ready?”

She almost answered, Not yet, but she was getting there thinking about last night. She nodded.

Shane stood and went to the register to pay. Over his shoulder he called, “Are you coming?”

Crap. She needed to stop this. He was talking to her like a regular person. “Uh, yeah.” She pulled his jacket back on and inhaled slowly, smelling him surrounding her. It must’ve been a work jacket he’d given her, because she could smell a hint of sawdust. Which made her think of Shane working in his apartment without a shirt, and . . .

Christ. He better hurry up and finish doing things his way. She’d had her first real, non-self-induced orgasm last night, and she hadn’t been able to think about much else since.

He held the restaurant door open for her. The wind was cold and the meager sun they’d seen during the parade now hid behind some ominous-looking clouds. “Is it supposed to rain? Or, God forbid, snow?”

“It’s too warm for snow, but maybe some freezing rain.” He opened the truck door for her. “I don’t think you’ll melt.”

“Ha-ha.” As he ran around the truck, she buckled in. “For your information, I like rainy days. They’re perfect for curling up in bed with a hot cup of tea and a good book.”

He started the engine with a smile. “Sweetheart, if that’s the best you can come up with for a rainy day, you need some help.”

“In my defense, I haven’t had a boyfriend in a long time. My book boyfriends are great company. In fact, in a lot of ways, they’re perfect.”

“They’re imaginary.”

“But real in my head. They’re smart and funny.”

“That’s the author of the book.”

She sighed. “They never do annoying things like pee on the toilet seat.”

“Hey, now,” he said, raising a hand. “My mom raised me right. I lift the seat and always put it down. Even in my own damn apartment where I live alone.”

“Your sisters trained you well.” She smiled. “Book boyfriends are also never needy, but they’re there for me whenever I want them.”

“But they can’t bring you a cup of coffee in the morning either.”

The reminder of Shane doing just that brought a rush of lust through her. “True.”

“And since they’re only paper and ink, they don’t have hands and fingers and tongues to play with your body.”

“But—”

His hand shot up again. “Don’t even try to tell me that flying solo is just as good. I think I proved you wrong last night.”

She couldn’t stop the smile. Of course he was right on that count. But more than remembering how hot last night was, she was having a great time talking with him. Most guys would never put up with such a silly conversation. It was one of the many reasons she loved Shane. He always put up with her silliness.

A few blocks from the bar, it started to rain. Then it started to pour. It was a weird mix of rain and slush splatting against the windshield. He pulled up behind the bar and said, “Get out. I’ll park and meet you upstairs.”

She waved him off. “I won’t melt. Park the truck. I can walk in.”

“Get out of the truck.”

“I’m fine.” She had no idea why she wanted to argue this point. “I don’t need special treatment.”

And maybe that was the crux of it. Was he treating her differently because of last night? Because they planned to sleep together? The deal was, they would stay the same.

The muscle in his jaw twitched as he threw the truck back into drive and pulled away from the building. For a Saturday afternoon, there were a lot of cars on the street, so it took a while for him to find a spot.

After he parked, he got out and waited on her side. He looked really pissed. The rain hadn’t let up and the cold mush slashed against her skin. Maybe this was not the time to take a stand with Shane.

He locked up as she took off at a slow jog. She wanted to run, but the pavement was slippery. More than once, she skidded and almost lost her balance. By the time they climbed the stairs to their apartments, her hair was plastered to her head and Shane still looked pissed off.

He let them in the hallway and she tugged his sleeve. “Come on, I’ll make you a cup of tea.”

“Make it coffee.”

“Fine.”

As she unlocked her apartment door, he asked, “What was that about?”

“What?”

“Don’t play stupid.”

“When you pulled up and told me to get out, it was such a gentlemanly thing to do.”

“And?”

“And I had this awful feeling you were doing it only because of last night.”

“What? Now you’re sounding stupid.” He took off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair.

She did the same. “Don’t call me stupid.”

“Then don’t talk like it. Dropping you off so you could stay dry is something I would do for anyone. Even before last night, I definitely would’ve done it for you. It’s courtesy.”

She knew he was right, but she was so afraid of things changing. Instead of saying anything else, she went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel to dry her hair. Although her shirt had been dry beneath his jacket, her hair now dripped and left wet spots all over.

Toweling her hair, she tried to explain. “I’m sorry. As much as I really want to follow through on our agreement to have sex, I can’t afford to have things change between us. You’re my best friend.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Mags. Except to the kitchen for the coffee you promised.”

“I said I’d make it.”

“Yeah, but we both know your coffee sucks.”

After her shower, Shane met her at the bathroom door with a cup of tea. She turned toward the living room, but he laid a hand on her shoulder.

“I thought you wanted to read in bed.”

“Are you leaving?”

“No. Unless you want me to.”

“Let’s go watch some TV then.” On the way to the couch, she picked up her book. She sat in the corner, setting her cup on the table, and tossed the remote to Shane.

It was all very homey. She sat and read while he watched some sports crap that held zero interest for her. At some point, she must’ve dozed off, because Shane was tapping her leg.

“Must be a boring book,” he said with a smile.

“Nope. Just a cozy day.”

Shane’s hand rubbed her calf. “Are you well rested now?”

She stretched as far as she could, her muscles pulling tight. An uneasy feeling crept through her. When was the last time she’d slept anywhere other than in her bed behind a locked door? “Yep. Did you nap?”

“Nope. You’re cute when you sleep.”

“You sat here watching me?” She chuckled. “Creeper.”

“I thought about waking you up.” He leaned over and kissed her. “Like this,” he said against her lips.

She placed her hands on his face and stared into his eyes. “You make me feel safe.”

“That’s good.”

“No, I mean, really.” She still couldn’t tell him about her need to be behind a locked door for sleeping. Her lips brushed his. “Thank you.”

“Let’s go to the bedroom.” He waited for her response.

She nodded. This felt right. She’d made a good choice in asking Shane. He always made her feel safe and secure. This afternoon was proof.

He pulled back and stood, holding out a hand. When her palm met his, she was reminded of how he’d touched her last night. Her heart swelled with comfort and her blood began to race. If last night was any indication of how good it could be, she was in for one hell of a ride.

Shane led her to the bedroom, and she quietly closed and locked the door. Meager light came through the window, so he turned on the bedside lamp. “I need to see you. To know you’re okay.”

She almost smiled. “I said I wouldn’t lie.”

“But you would try to push through even if it wasn’t working for you. You’d try to pretend you weren’t freaking out even if it meant tearing yourself apart.”

She nodded. He was right. She wanted this so much she would let it happen no matter what. But Shane wouldn’t let it be bad for her. He’d stop and make her feel better.

He pulled her close with his arm around her waist. His other hand guided her at the base of her skull as he leaned in to kiss her. The warm, cozy feeling fled her body and was replaced by the rush of desire. She wanted more of what she’d experienced last night, and she wasn’t ashamed to admit it to herself.

She tugged at Shane’s shirt, and her fingers brushed across his skin. His hard-on pressed against her middle. She rubbed her body along his, causing a hiss to escape his lips.

“I want to get you naked,” he whispered.

“So do it.” Images of Shane tearing at her clothes doubled her desire.

He eased away from her. “After what happened yesterday, maybe it would be better if you did it yourself.”

As if she needed the reminder of her meltdown. But she wouldn’t let a memory ruin this. He was right; she’d been able to get down to her underwear without issue yesterday. She pulled her sweatshirt over her head and he groaned when he saw her bare chest. No bra to worry about tonight.

“You could’ve warned me.”

“But I like surprises.” She shoved her pants off and stood before him naked.

He whipped off his shirt and dropped his pants, leaving everything in a pile at his feet. He smirked and kissed her collarbone. Before going any further, he looked up in question. She nodded. She didn’t want anything to be off limits with him. Not tonight. Or ever.

Crap. There was only tonight. Succeed or fail, this was it. She closed her eyes against the sensation of his mouth on her nipple. Her hand gripped his shoulder, feeling the strong muscle bunch underneath his smooth skin as he moved. After giving both of her breasts ample attention, which left her nipples hard points, he kissed lower.

Warm, wet kisses trailed down her ribs, across her belly button, then down her hip to her thigh. Anticipation sent shivers through her. She didn’t know what to expect, and in some ways the not knowing was worse. But still good.

He stood and guided her backward until her knees hit the bed. She flopped back thinking he was going to follow. Instead, he grabbed her hips and pulled her to the edge of the mattress. He knelt in front of her and used his hands to spread her legs. Propping up on her elbows, she stared at him.

He looked up, met her gaze, and when she didn’t protest, he lowered his head. Running his tongue along her slit, he moved slowly, methodically. She stayed on her elbows and watched. There was something completely erotic about watching him go down on her. She was nervous but excited. She had vague memories of how good this could be.

Shane moaned, and with his gaze still on her, one of his eyebrows arched. The simple act loosened her nerves. She mimicked the move in challenge. If he wanted a moan, he’d have to work for it. Using his fingers, he spread her lips and swirled his tongue around her clit. Her breath caught, but she didn’t lose eye contact.

He flicked her with the tip of his tongue and her hips jumped, but her eyes remained steady. She had no idea what game they were playing, but it was exciting. His hands massaged their way up her thighs. He pulled his mouth away for a brief moment and shot her a cocky grin.

He pressed a finger into her and began thrusting. She bit her lip. He winked and put his mouth back on her. Her clit became the center of his attention and she lost focus. A second finger joined the first, and as he moved them inside her, his tongue was relentless.

First, her head lolled back. Then her arms weakened. She didn’t care if Shane won their battle. If this was losing, it was one hell of a way to go. Her mind blanked out with the pleasure. She felt the tension coiling and building. She raised her foot and sought the edge of the bed for balance, but it kept slipping.

She finally braced her heel against Shane’s shoulder and held his head in place with her hand. Her hips bucked, but he didn’t let up. Her nerves tingled throughout her entire body and her mind saw nothing but white. Her muscles trembled and she thought she was done. This was the most she could normally hope for in an orgasm.

But then Shane did something with his hands and his tongue, and damn, she had no idea what it was, but her whole body was gone, floating, and all she could say was, “Oh, God, Shane” over and over.