The other three imps climbed up Nessie’s legs to check on their family member. They chirped with obvious concern.
“I know. You’re worried. But Jerry will be back with the medicine. It’ll all be okay. We’re going to get Rimmer and Wolfie, and by the time we come back Jerry will have the anti-venom. It’s going to be fine, I promise.”
As her words faded, Nessie wondered who they were truly for, the imps or herself.
When the elevator finally reached subbasement 5, Nessie braced herself in case anything jumped at her. But the corridor was empty.
Nessie sprinted down the hallway. When she reached the correct cell, she found Rimmer face-down in a puddle of vomit.
Wolfie was nowhere to be found.
She immediately knelt next to Rimmer, feeling for a pulse in his neck. He had one, but it was slow and weak.
“Rimmer! Wake up!”
It took all of her effort to turn the heavily-muscled guard onto his back.
“Rimmer!”
She shook him, then slapped his face.
He didn’t move.
“Wolfie!” she called.
The werewolf didn’t answer.
Standing up, Nessie grabbed Rimmer’s wrist and tried to pull him toward the cell exit. After two minutes of extraordinary effort, she hadn’t even moved him a meter.
It was no use. She couldn’t do this alone.
But maybe, if she got Sun and Andy, they could help.
Nessie dropped Rimmer’s arm and turned to face the exit—
—which was blocked by a giant, wiggling praying mantis.
She screamed just as the creature lunged.
“Attention any survivors,” Andy said into the intercom. “The elevators now work. You have five minutes to evacuate before we’re all buried in here. Uh, good luck to you. And if any monsters are, uh, listening, I’m lying.”
Andy checked his watch again.
4:55…
4:54…
4:53…
West, Jerry, Rimmer, and Nessie hadn’t shown up yet.
“We’re cutting this close,” he told Sun.
“We always do.”
He supposed she was right. They were almost late to their own wedding. But it had managed to work out. Everything always managed to work out for them.
So why do I feel like this time, it isn’t going to?
“I was thinking,” Andy said, sitting next to his new bride and taking her hand. “After this is over, we go someplace where no one knows us. Some little town where we can disappear. We can even change our names. You open up a small vet practice. I tutor kids in foreign languages. The government never bothers us again with any demon bullshit, and we live happily ever after.”
“New names, huh?”
“That’s probably the way to go.”
Sun smiled. “What should my new name be, dear husband?”
“I was thinking Honey. Because your skin is the color of honey, and you’re so sweet.”
“I like it. And for you… .Scooter”
Andy’s face pinched. “Scooter? That’s a little redneck.”
“I dig rednecks,” Sun said. “They get me hot.”
“Scooter it is. Last name?”
“How about something really plain. Johnson-Smith.”
“Johnson Smith is that catalog company that advertised in the back of comic books. They sold fake rubber vomit and whoopee cushions.”
“That’s perfect.”
Andy mulled it over. “Honey and Scooter Johnson-Smith. It sort of works.”
Sun stared deep into his eyes. Hers became glassy, and a tear trailed down her cheek. “I love you, Scooter Johnson-Smith. No matter what happens, I’ll love you forever.”
Andy wiped away her tear with his thumb. “Don’t cry yet, honey. We’ve still got four minutes left.”
Then he held her, closing his eyes, living in the moment, feeling a surge of happiness so profound he couldn’t stop smiling.
If this is all there is left to my life, I’m okay with it.
Then Sun began to scream.
Andy turned around and saw—
Jesus, what the hell is
that?
Part spider, part scorpion, part snake hair head thing. And its face, crammed full of fangs…
“Dr. Gornman,” Andy said, recognizing the face.
Then her snake hair struck out and bit him in the neck.
General Kane was close to insane with agony.
Every time he died, Bub brought him back and continued to torture him. Kane figured he barely resembled a human being by this point. But he had one eye left—Bub knew he needed that to shut off the countdown—and he saw that there was only two minutes remaining until the Omega Protocol began.
I’m old school infantry. Fought in two wars. Survived three marriages. They don’t come any tougher than me. I can last two more minutes.
Bub broke something else on Kane, but the General scarcely noticed. Everything hurt so bad, there wasn’t much more Bub could do to him.
“You foooooooool!”
the demon raged.
“You think you only have to last twooooo mooooooore minutes? If youuuuuuu don’t stop the countdown, I’ll keeeeeeeeeeeep you alive for yeaaaaaaaaaars!”
Bub continued to mutilate the general, went too far, and Kane died once more.
He was revived with thirty seconds left.
“I’ll fix youuuuuu. Take awaaaaaaaaaay the pain. You can beeeeeee young again. Immortaaaaaaal. Lead my army.”
“The code…” Kane said. “I’ll give you the code…”
“Yessssssssssssssssssssss?”
“It’s a password.”
“Yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss?”
“Capital F. Small u. Small c. Small k. Capital Y. Small o. Small u. Then an exclamation point.”
Bub’s eyes narrowed and he screeched, just as wet cement began to rain down on them both.
It was the most beautiful thing General Kane had ever seen.
And it was quickly followed by the second most beautiful thing General Kane had ever seen. Standing in the doorway was the man from Manx.
“Looks like your plans for world domination have come to an end, Bub-lad.”
“Liiiight beareeeerrr!”
the demon hissed.
“I’m here to do something I should have done forty thousand years ago,” Lucas said, rolling up his sleeves. “I’m going to kill yer, you dirty little bleeder.”
“Kick his ass,” General Kane said, a final smile crossing his mangled face.
Then he died for the very last time.
The giant mantis swayed, then pounced next to Nessie.
Well… half of it did, anyway. The other half was in Wolfie’s mouth. He shook it back and forth like an enormous, disgusting chew toy.
“Wolfie! You need to help me with Rimmer. You need to carry him to the elevator.”
Wolfie sat down and cocked his massive head to one side, ears pricking up.
Then cement began to sluice down through the ceiling slot.
Nessie screamed in frustration. Again she tried to pull Rimmer by the wrist. But he wouldn’t budge at all.
Then the three imps began to jump up and down and chirp at Wolfie. Wolfie backed back. A moment later, he had Rimmer in his mouth, picking him up as gently as a cat carried her kittens.
Monster talk. Go figure.
Nessie gathered up the imps, keeping them under her shirt to protect them, and then sloshed through the wet cement, heading for the elevator. She pressed the call button.
The doors didn’t open.
Looking at the LED screen, Nessie saw it was on level 4. At least a minute away.
“Come on! Not now! This can’t be happening now! We’re so close!”
She kept pressing the button as the cement rose past her calves. Wolfie whined. The imps against her bare stomach were trembling.
“God,” Nessie said. “I’ve never asked you for a single thing. Not once. But please. Please. HURRY UP WITH THE GODDAMN ELEVATOR!”
A nightmare about being chased by a Medusa started Jerry’s heart beating again.
His eyes slammed open, and he was seized by a terrible abdominal cramp, making him curl up into the fetal position.
He remembered running. Being bitten by the Gornman-thing. Falling over. Dropping the box.
The anti-venom box.
Anti-venom.
Anti-venom!
Jerry searched for it, found the box just a meter away. It was open, and several of the vials had broken on the floor.
He crawled to it, his head swimming, his whole body damp with sweat. Then he began to grab random vials.
Scorpion anti-venom.
Man o’ war anti-venom.
Giant wasp anti-venom.
Mutant platypus anti-venom.
Easter bunny anti-venom.
Seriously? Easter bunny? WTF?
Cobra anti-venom.
Stingray anti-venom.
Wait… cobra anti-venom?
Jerry pulled a syringe from his jacket pocket and jammed it into the rubber seal on the bottle. Everything was getting blurry, and he could feel his heart slowing down again.
Draw the liquid in. Take the needle out. You can do it.
Now just inject yourself…
Inject…
In…
Once again, the darkness took him.
“Hello, Dennisonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnns.”
Sun watched her husband stand up on wobbly legs and point directly at the Gorman-thing.
“I told you several times before, you stupid, ugly, ignorant hellspawn.” Andy reached up, grabbing one of the snakes, and ripping it right off of Gornman’s head. “It’s Dennison-Jones!”
Then he fell over.
Gornman screeched, pinchers snapping in the air and reaching for Andy.
Oh no you don’t! NOT MY HUSBAND!
Sun flung herself at the Gornman-thing, getting between the scorpion claws and punching her straight in the gut. One of the spider legs knocked Sun across the room, into the wall. She slumped to the floor, several ribs broken.
The Gornman-thing advanced. Sun managed to sit up. Every breath she drew was labored. The creature opened up its pincers, reaching for her.
“Are you in there, Bub?” Sun said. Each word brought a spike of pain to her chest. “Can you hear me?”
The Gornman-thing crouched next to Sun, sticking its horrible face in hers as the cement rained down.
“Weeeeee hear youuuuuuuu.”
“You… are… pathetic,” Sun said. “You’re never going to win. Do you… want to know… why?”
“Telllll usssssssssssss.”
Sun looked at Andy. The love of her life, snake bitten and lying next to the elevator.
“Because, you prehistoric asshole, we have something you’ll never have.”
“What dooo youuu have? Emotions? Love?”
The demon barked with laughter.
“Love makes yooooooou weak!”
“No, it’s not love.”
“What issssssss it?”
“You really want to know what we have that you don’t?”
“TELLLLLLL USSSSSSSS!”
Sun’s stalling worked. The elevator dinged, and the doors opened.
“We have a giant fucking werewolf, motherfucker.”
The Gornman thing turned as Wolfie pounced out of the lift, clamping onto her neck and biting her head clean off.
A moment later, Jerry stumbled over from the other side of the room, a syringe sticking in his leg, a box hugged to his chest. “Anti-venom,” he rasped, falling to his knees.
Both Sun and Nessie hurried over, pulling Jerry and the box into the elevator. Then they went back for Andy, pulling him through concrete a foot deep. Nessie ordered the lift to go to the top exit. Then Sun searched for cobra anti-venom while Nessie sought out the harvestmen anti-venom.
Three shots later, Andy, Rimmer, and the imp were all waking up.
“I… I can’t believe it’s over and we’re getting out of here alive,” Jerry said. “It’s a goddamn miracle.”
And then the elevator squealed to a stop between levels 1 and 2.
“Join us, Lucaaaaaaaassssss. We can rule thisssssss world.”
“Not interested,” Lucas said. He’d adopted a boxing stance, and he shuffled over to Bub as the cement rained down. He’d learned pugilism from Joe Louis himself. Hell of a guy.
Left. Left. Right. Left. Stick and move. Stick and move. The demon’s face broke under Lucas’s blows, but the bones healed almost as fast as he could throw punches.
Bub lashed out with his talons, taking a chunk out of Lucas’s shoulder. The wound filled itself in as Lucas continued to rain down jabs. Bub grabbed Lucas, biting him in the neck, and then Lucas wrapped his arms around the demon. They battled out of Kane’s office and out into the hall.
Lucas sighted on his target. The elevator doors ten meters away. But the cement was already up to his knees and coming down fast.
“Why doooo yooooou protect them?”
Bub demanded.
“They are weeeeeeeak.”
Lucas focused on the elevator. One foot after the other.
“They’re stronger than you think. Stronger than I think, too. You know how I can see things. I saw Andy Dennison-Jones saving the human race. And he did it. Do you know how?”
Five meters away now. Bub began to claw at Lucas’s belly, pulling out parts.
“I’ll tell you how. He convinced me; an outcast, a murderer, a liar, shunned by God, to help him. Not by asking, but by showing me what he and his friends were willing to do to stop you.”
“Fooooooool! They aaaaaaare insects compared to ussssssss!”
“No, they aren’t. Our time has passed. This world is theirs. Let em have it. They came up with musical theatre. What did we ever do?”
Lucas reached the elevator and wrenched the doors open with one hand while clutching Bub with the other.
“STOOOOOOOOP! DON’T BE A FOOOOOOOL!”
Lucas peered into the deep, dark shaft. At the bottom, meters of wet concrete, drying fast, was quickly rising.
“It’s time for us to go.”
Bub clawed and bit, but Lucas hung onto the demon as he stepped into the open air.
They hit the concrete below with enough force to shatter most of the bones in each of their bodies. As they healed, they began to sink.
“I’ll get oooooooooout of here.”
“That remains to be seen.”
“You’ll die here tooooooooo.”