Holidays in Hell: In Which Our Intrepid Reporter Travels to the World's Worst Places and Asks, "What's Funny About This"

MODERN MANNERS

THE BACHELOR HOME COMPANION

PARLIAMENT OF WHORES

GIVE WAR A CHANCE

ALL THE TROUBLE IN THE WORLD

AGE AND GUILE BEAT YOUTH, INNOCENCE, AND A BAD HAIRCUT

ENEMIES LIST

REPUBLICAN PARTY REPTILE

EAT THE RICH

THE CEO OF THE SOFA

P. J. 0 Rourke

To the memory of John Courteney Boot,
in Evelyn Waugh's Scoop,
who spent "some harrowing months
among the Patagonian Indians"
and wrote a book called Waste of Time.

Often the more you understand, the less you forgive.

-Jillian Becker
Director, Institute for the
Study of Terrorism

-Rudyard Kipling, on the occasion of
America taking possession of the
Philippines

Wherever you go, there you are.

-Buckaroo Banzai

"The Innocents Abroad, Updated" originally appeared, in somewhat different form, in the International Herald Tribune 100th
Anniversary Edition. "A Ramble Through Lebanon" was commissioned (and magnanimously paid for) by Vanity Fair but appeared
in the Washington, D.C., City Paper. "Through Darkest America"
was first published in Harper's; "Weekend Getaway," in Playboy;
"Third World Driving Hints and Tips," in Automobile; and "Intellectual Wilderness, Ho" and "What Does the Future Hold In Store
for Our Friends in Faraway Lands?," in The American Spectator.
The author would like to thank these publications for permission to
reprint this material. All the other pieces in the book were underwritten by Rolling Stone magazine. The author owes an immense
debt of gratitude (and quite a bit of money advanced for expenses)
to Editor and Publisher Jann Wenner.