Holly Hearts Hollywood (14 page)

Keller seemed like his normal self since we got to the diner. Maybe he got carried away with the smoking and the cool-party scene. I feel totally comfortable eating in front of him too, which is a miracle in itself. I’m eating sugary pancakes at eleven o’clock at night. That’s the worst time of day to eat pancakes. I feel like a Gremlin. For all I know, I’ll double in size right in front of him and start drooling acid.

Oh, wait, my phone’s ringing.

Oh no.

Later, 12:55am—Car ride home

I feel like events in my life are hallmarked by embarrassing moments. If I look back, there are more than a handful of blips on that timeline that are marked red for “embarrassment.”

Five Years Old
: During a lively chorus of “Silent Night” (in front of my father’s easily embarrassed extended family) I asked, “What’s a virgin?”

Eight Years Old
: During spring break at my grandparents’ cabin, I was helping Grandma bake blueberry muffins in her old gas stove. I turned the gas on in the oven, went into the next room to get the matches, and lit the match when I came back. How was I supposed to know you weren’t supposed to let the gas leak out for that long? I was lucky only my eyebrows burned off.

Eleven Years Old
: Henry Carlton, the new boy at Cedar Junction Elementary, told Amanda he thought I was cute
until
he saw me up close.

Twelve Years Old
: While ice-skating on a class trip, I fell and slid across the ice. Everyone started laughing at me as per usual. It was only when I looked over my shoulder and saw the smear of blood across the ice that I realized I’d gotten my period in front of my entire seventh-grade class.

This list is only the tip of the iceberg. I could probably fill this entire journal with these kinds of stories. Well, let me tell you a new one. And trust me, it’s a doozy.

When Keller came back to our table, my phone started ringing. I immediately felt guilty. I don’t know if it was because I’d left the party early with Lacey’s breath mints still in my clutch or because I knew the plate of pancakes I had downed would do absolutely nothing for my hips. Oh, who am I kidding? I was feeling guilty because I was out with a sexy intern, thinking about pouring syrup all over his body and licking it off of his—

Oh darn. We drove over a bump. Sorry, what was I saying?

Oh right.
Lacey
called me, asking where I was! She was
not
happy. She had this kissing picture planned with Grayson, and I had the breath mints. Keller came back to the table, and we rushed to his car.

“So, it’d be best if you don’t tell anyone about this,” Keller said as he pulled out of the parking lot.

My chest tightened. “Why not?”

Keller glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes. The city lights hypnotically reflected off of his silver hair. “Interns aren’t technically supposed to date other interns, and I don’t want to give anyone a reason to fire me.”

I stared at him, mouth opened and confused. I wasn’t sure if he was telling me he
wants
to date me but can’t or he doesn’t want other people to think he’d ever stoop as low as me.

“We gotta make sure we don’t do anything to make people think there’s something going on with us,” Keller said as he tapped a cigarette out of its pack. “If Molly finds out I’m with you, I’ll totally lose my internship, and I need this. I hope you understand.”

“So we’re friends?” I asked breathlessly, hoping he’d say something sexy like “more than friends” before laying a big kiss on me. He turned up the radio and smiled instead.

Maybe I’m a little deranged, but I think it’d be kind of fun to be in a secret relationship! I’d be like one of those ridiculously gloomy characters in a teenage love story.

We pulled up in front of the W Hotel, and Keller opened my door for me. “I had a nice time tonight, even though it was cut short.” I stood up and looked into his eyes.

My heart did the cha-cha. “Me too,” I squeaked. Keller leaned in and lightly hugged me, but my sanity completely vanished. Keller was trying to give me a nice goodbye hug, but I decided to give him a life-or-death embrace. I mean, I threw my arms around his waist and put my head against his chest. I held on for thirty seconds longer than I should have.

Keller cleared his throat. “Um, Holly? Are you okay?”

I opened my eyes, not realizing I’d closed them in the first place. I was imagining we were out on a real date—like we made out in his car for half an hour and now we were having a sentimental moment together before I went inside my house. Perhaps that’d be when he’d tell me he loved me. In reality, I was awkwardly hugging Keller outside the W Hotel.

I let go and backed away from him so quickly you’d think he had the plague. “Sorry,” I mumbled.

Keller ran his hands through his hair, and my heart stopped completely. How am I supposed to be
just friends
with someone who looks this good? Mom says the friend-zone doesn’t actually exist, and it’s a phrase guys who get rejected use because they can’t handle girls saying no. But still.

It figures the very first pair of eyes I met when I turned away from Keller belonged to a certain blue-eyed bombshell. Suspicion reeked out of Lacey’s every pore. She examined Keller and me with a strange half-smile. I was mortified.

“There you are,” she said with tone I didn’t like one bit. “Where
ever
have you been?”

“Um, Keller wanted me to take a look at a paper he’s writing for class.”

I’m so pathetic. I used to be better at lying, but I’m so self-conscious around Keller and his silver-fox sex appeal. Seriously, that was the worst lie I’ve ever told. I’m getting sloppy.

“Yeah,” Keller added in that lion-like purr of his, “Holly gives great suggestions.”

Lacey arched her eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Holly, come with me. We have a few things to do before we leave.”

I followed Lacey through the crowd of people. I couldn’t help but steal a look over my shoulder at Keller, who, to my great disappointment, was already driving away. In my imagination, he would’ve stood by the car, looking at me dejectedly because we can never be together. God, my imagination is cruel.

After watching Lacey and Grayson smile and make out for the camera for far too long, we piled into the limo. That’s where I am now. It’s hard to write in a car, even a limo. Lacey’s been giving me strange looks the whole time. I don’t know if it’s because she’s weirded out by people writing in journals or because she suspects there’s something going on with Keller and me.

Maybe one day I’ll run into him in the Shell Shocked lobby while he’s returning from fetching coffees. He’ll pull me aside and whisper, “By the way, I thought you should know: we’re
more
than friends.” Truthfully, I’d like something more romantic, like: “Holly, these couple of weeks with you have taught me more than I’ll ever learn at Stanford. I’ve learned that love doesn’t always look like a Victoria’s Secret model. It looks like you, Holly, a real girl I want to be with. I don’t care what society thinks! I only care what you think. From now on, your opinion is the one I value most.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself here. I doubt my future involves Keller getting on his knees and professing his never-ending love for me.

But a girl can hope.

THINGS FOUND:

1.
Really cool mini-bottle of maple syrup.

2.
Crystal paperweight with “W Hotel” engraved on it. Not sure if I was supposed to take this…Oh well.

March 2
^nd
, 10:00am—Pink Palm Motel

I don’t deserve to have a friend as wonderful as Serena. I don’t. I am a human trashcan, the lowest of the low. First of all, I forgot today is her seventeenth birthday. I don’t even know how I forgot; she’s been giving me the birthday heads-up for days now. You know, when your friends try to “subtly” remind you their birthday is around the corner.

“Hey, you should buy me that for my birthday.”

“I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but I have a birthday coming up next week…”

“Do you know I share a birthday with Daniel Craig?”

She invited me to her house this morning for a birthday get-together, and I was so excited about the prospect of going to another swanky, Hollywood party. But no, I have to stay home, in a motel, and do homework. I guess it’s my own fault; I’ve been too busy freaking out about Keller and going shopping with Serena to study. Jennifer actually called my mom about my math grades. What do I need algebra for? Nothing, that’s what. Am I going to be an architect or designer? Am I going to build
PLANES?

Mom won’t even let me turn on the TV. She says it distracts me. Well, what does she know? She’s a small business owner and botanist, not an educator. As if this day wasn’t bad enough, Keller texted me a while ago and asked if I wanted to go out. I managed to text him back and tell him about my horrible situation before Mom snatched my phone. Apparently my phone is distracting too. What isn’t distracting these days? She should throw me into solitary confinement and save us all the time.

What does she expect from me? I wasn’t a good student back in Cedar Junction, which was really the icing on the cake to my overweight, unpopular, awkward, and perpetually-single image. I could’ve gotten away with being overweight and unpopular if I was an honor roll student. But no, life is cruel. Even as I write this, my mom thinks I’m doing homework. I obviously have a future career in espionage.

And now someone’s knocking on the door. Gosh, how does Mom expect me to study and get good grades if I have to live in this motel with Ivy, who apparently thinks it’s okay to invite all of her friends over at ten o’clock in the morning while her older sister studies?

How does anyone expect me to—

Later, 1:45pm—Pink Palm Motel

Keller is officially the greatest. I have a boy
who wants to be my friend, and he’s gorgeous, smart, and looks like Anderson Cooper with a nose ring. He’s a dream. Keller got my text about being up to my eyeballs in homework and came to help! However, I kind of forgot to tell Mom I have a boy who’s a “friend.” Actually, I forgot to tell her about Keller entirely.

“Can I help you?” Mom said when she answered the door.

“Hi, I’m Keller, Holly’s friend,” I heard him answer. I gasped at about the same time my sister made a choking noise from the kitchenette.

“Excuse me?
You
are Holly’s
FRIEND?
” Ivy screeched. She flew to my mom’s side at superhero speed. “How come I don’t have any friends like you?”

I stood up and glared at my sister. This wasn’t the way I’d hoped Keller would meet my family. His picture-perfect family makes mine look like a traveling circus. There’s no way I’ll look like girlfriend material with a family like this.

I ran over to the front door and shoved my mom aside, which was easy to do since she’s one-third my size.

“Hi, Keller,” I breathed. “This is my mom,” I said, gesturing over my shoulder, even though that probably seemed obvious.

Keller nodded; some of his silver hair fell into his eyes. “Nice to meet you.”

“Holly, can I talk to you?” Mom asked quietly. “Keller, have a seat, Holly and I will be quick.” She grabbed my arm with boa-constrictor-like strength and dragged me over to the kitchenette.

“Why haven’t you told me about this boy?” she asked quietly.

“Because you make such a big deal out of little things,” I replied. “Besides, we’re just friends,” I said feebly, hoping to hide my too-obvious desires.

“Well, this is a big deal,” Ivy added, pushing her way into the kitchenette. “You have a real boyfriend, and I don’t!”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s
NOT
my boyfriend. He’s just my friend.”

Ivy groaned. “Well you don’t see my guy friends coming over to the motel to meet
Mom
.”

“Look, maybe you should invite them over every once in a while instead of making out under the bleachers. Keller is my friend; that’s all.” I walked away before they could continue. Besides, my curiosity about why Keller was there in the first place was
killing
me.

Keller smiled at me, and my heart turned to goop. “Family meeting?” he asked.

“Sort of. So, what are you doing here?” I sat next to him on the couch, painfully aware of my mother and sister watching from the kitchenette.

He gestured to my notebooks and study guides. “I came to help with your homework.”

I smiled ear-to-ear. “Really? Because I’m an absolutely awful student, and I’m very easily distracted.”

“Am I going to distract you?” Keller asked and raised one eyebrow.

“Most likely,” I admitted. “But I give you full permission to force me to study.”

He grinned. “I forgot my whip, but I’ll do my best.”

Keller should reconsider his career in the music business and become a teacher instead; he’s super good at it! I like Jennifer and everything, but she’s good at math, and therefore bad at teaching it.

Mom was all set to let me go out with Keller when Molly called him and asked him to come down to the studio to help out with something “major.” Now I’m back to the beginning. I’m at the motel alone while everyone else is at Serena’s mansion partying.

I did my homework, and it didn’t get me anything at all. Why do I even try?

THINGS TO DO:

1.
Buy breath mints, perhaps breath is not fresh enough for kissing despite regular brushing.

2.
Dance on top of my finished homework in triumph.

Later, 5:50pm—Pink Palm Motel