The afternoon after my suspension I went home and prepared my standard self-pity tool kit: a bottle of Chardonnay and a bag of Fugs. But as I got a corkscrew out of the drawer, something in me shifted.
I was without a job, without any credit, I had virtually no money, and I was going to spend the day with wine and junk food crying my eyes out. My depression turned to anger. I dumped the wine down the drain then tossed the junk food in the trash as my phone rang.
“I just got a call from Clark,” Robin said. “He’s at the salon and wants to talk. Do you think you could pick me up at Mom’s and give me a ride over there?”
“Stay put. I’ll be there in twenty minutes.”
On my way to the car, I let Bernie water some junipers at the side of the store. Natalie spotted us through the window and came outside. She held up a pair of pink boxers and said, “Meet’n with a little resistance. Most of the guys don’t want to wear these while workin’.”
“Sounds like a rough start for Laundry ‘n Lace.”
“Not to worry. Got me a couple a ladies startin’ tomorrow.” She held up a pair of lace panties and a bra. “We’ll see if the worm starts to turn when they see ‘em in these.”
“The worm may not only turn,” I said. “It might stand up and whistle Dixie.”
Natalie laughed. “Care to come in for a muffin?”
I declined, telling her I had to meet Robin.
“Okay. I’ll come by tonight, just before seven.”
I was confused. “Did we have a…” I then remembered promising to take Natalie to her acting class. The last thing I wanted to do was spend the evening with a bunch of wannabe actors after my suspension, but I had made a promise. “I’ll see you then.”
“Good. Just so you know, it’s dress up night. I’ve always thought you had some Cuban blood in ya.”
I had no idea what Natalie was talking about, but that wasn’t unusual.
***
Janet Logan gave me an update on my mom when I picked up Robin. “I think she’s got her history confused, she’s been talking about Watergate. She’s also been saying something about the president and his cigar.”
“I’ve heard enough,” I said, making a mad dash to the car with Robin.
I’d borrowed Robin’s car because Olive was in the shop again. On the way to the salon he explained about Clark.
“According to Barry, Clark showed up at the salon last night and was sober, but he looks like he’s aged ten years. I’m worried about him.”
“And I’m worried about you, Robin. Don’t let Clark’s problems drag you down. He’s the one who got himself into this mess. You can’t make it all go away.”
“I just want to help make it better. That’s the least I owe him.”
I voiced my concerns again before Robin changed the subject. “I was in court for my arraignment this morning. They continued bail and set my hearing for late November.”
My anxiety spiked, thinking about his upcoming trial. “We need to see about getting you a good lawyer.”
My brother turned to me, his eyes were filling. “Something happened in court today, Kate. During my arraignment, I glanced at the back of the courtroom and realized Zen was there.”
“What?”
The tears flowed down Robin’s cheeks. “He was just sitting there, smiling at me.”
I tried to reassure my brother, but didn’t know what to say. It only further confirmed by feelings that Wolf Donovan was, for some reason, behind what was happening.
As we pulled to the curb at the hair salon, Robin controlled his emotions and said, “Charlie called and told me about the suspension. I’m so sorry.”
What would I do without Charlie? “I’m not throwing in the towel, just yet.” I motioned to the figure standing near Sinclair’s trademark green door. “Looks like Clark’s waiting for you.”
I purposely tended to Bernie while Robin and Clark greeted one another. After a few minutes, I went inside and said my hellos. Robin made some coffee and we settled into the employee lounge at the rear of the salon.
Clark was fidgety as Robin poured the coffee. He and Robin tried to politely amuse one another with tales of the difficult customers they’d worked with over the years. Clark looked like someone who was still coming down from what had probably been a cocktail of drugs. He needed to be in a detox program.
After a few more minutes of chit-chat, I decided to level with him. “Clark, let’s talk candidly for a moment. You need help with your drug problems. I know of several programs in the area.”
“We only want what’s best for you,” Robin chimed in, trying to take the edge off.
Clark didn’t look at either of us. His voice broke with emotion, “I’ve blown everything. Almost a year of sobriety gone in an instant.” His fragile composure melted, tears streaming down his face. “I’m sorry for everything that’s happened.”
As Robin tried to comfort him, I said, “You need to tell us what’s been happening for the past several days.”
After regaining his composure Clark tried to explain, “Everything spun out of control so fast. I was offered some Oxies at the party. I refused at first, but everyone at Donovan’s was using. I began feeling like I was the only sober person on the planet. I was given what I thought was an energy drink, but Bon Bon had spiked it and I was off and running. I spent the next several days out of control.” Clark broke down again, sobbing in Robin’s arms.
I swallowed my anger at Robin’s apparent easy acceptance of what had been total betrayal by Clark.
“Tell me about the drug scene at Donovan’s,” I said. “Who is involved and who is supplying the drugs?”
Clark blotted his tears on the sleeve of his shirt. He took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. “Everyone’s involved. Bon Bon and a guy named Zen organize and control everything. They stage all the parties and invite the celebrities.”
“Who is their connection?”
“I don’t know.” He didn’t look at me. “It could be lots of different people.”
I studied him for a long moment. I’d interviewed hundreds of suspects in similar circumstances. I was sure that either Clark was lying about not knowing who the drug connection was or there was a lot more to the story than he let on.
“Okay, Clark,” I said, “let’s have the truth. Robin is facing serious drug charges that could send him to prison for years. I need to know who you’re protecting.”
Clark shot a glance at me then set his eyes on Robin. “I don’t know anything more than I’ve already said. You’ve got to believe me.”
Robin touched Clark’s shoulder, then turned to me. “He’s been through a stressful time, Kate. Let it go.”
I was disappointed in my brother. He was taking sides, making me the enemy. I tried one last approach, “I need Clark to tell us about Wolf Donovan.” I looked at my brother’s partner. “What’s his role in everything?”
Clark didn’t look at me. “He usually stays in a different part of the estate. Bon Bon and Zen run the show. I didn’t see him much.”
I didn’t believe him and was about to say as much when Robin interrupted.
“Where are you staying, Clark?” Robin asked.
“In a motel over on Western. I’m basically homeless.”
“You can move back in with me.”
“Robin!” I shook my head, then fixed by gaze back on Clark. “You need to be in a residential drug program, not bringing your drug issues home to my brother.”
Clark regarded me for a long moment. I saw the defiance in his eyes. “I’ll get back into my twelve-step program. I can work through this with Robin’s help.”
I turned back to my brother. “Remember what we talked about earlier?”
Robin didn’t look at me. His eyes were locked on Clark. “You’re right. We can work through this together.” He finally looked over at me. “I need my car back.”
I removed the keys from my purse and handed them over. “You know I don’t agree with your decision, but please stay in touch with me.”
Robin didn’t respond. He took the keys, put his arm around Clark, and they headed for the door. I called after him, “Robin, please be careful.”
My brother didn’t look at me, but said, “I can take care of myself.”
***
It was after six when I finally got home after bailing Olive out of the repair shop. I was still ranting to Bernie about the repair bill as we walked through the front door.
“Three hundred and sixty-four dollars! It’s highway robbery.” I’d written a check to the mechanic and prayed it wouldn’t bounce.
After crushing the receipt and tossing it into the wicker basket with the other bills, I looked at Bernie and said, “Maybe I should just consider it a down payment on my new home.”
Half an hour later, Natalie arrived. As I opened the door, she said, “Hello Ricky. It’s time to get dressed.”
“Lucy,” I said, laughing at her costume. Natalie made a very young, very attractive version of Lucille Ball, complete with a red wig and matching lipstick.
“I brought your suit, Ricky.” Natalie held out a black pin-striped suit and white fedora. She then turned to Bernie. “Maybe Fred and Ethel can stay with you while we’re out.”
I began the excuses: “The outfit is too tight. What if someone I know sees me. I don’t look good in a fedora. I have a lousy Cuban accent.”
None of it worked. Natalie countered every argument. “Come on, now. Don’t make me blither about the need to forget your troubles for a couple a hours, not lettin’ anyone piss on your popcorn.”
Natalie held up a plastic bag, waving it at me. “I even brought you a wig and moustache.” As I shook my head, she reached into the bag and held up a man’s sock. “I also stuffed up one of Clyde’s socks with a rock so you’ll have a trouser knob.”
I laughed. Bernie danced around and yelped as she twirled the sock in the air.
I surrendered. “I’ve got to be out of my mind. Okay, why not? But just so you know, I draw the line at the crotch rock.”
After I dressed, we said our goodbyes to Bernie and headed for Olive. I spotted my reflection in one of appliance store windows wearing the wig, moustache, and white fedora. We both broke into fits of laughter.
As we got into the car, I said in my best Ricky Ricardo voice, “Lucy, you got some ‘splanin’ to do!”
Natalie turned to me, held out the stuffed sock, and in a perfect imitation of Lucy said, “Oh, just put this in your pants big boy. The time for talk is over.”
I passed on the sock again.
When we walked into the Westside Actor’s Studio, I felt like a complete idiot. A moment later, I almost forgot I was dressed like a dead sitcom star.
A cast of dozens of Hollywood stars, some living and some dead, paraded around the room. I was introduced to everyone from Elizabeth Taylor to Reese Witherspoon. There was even a political slant on the costumes when a young woman, who was dressed like a former president—thankfully not Richard Nixon—introduced herself to us.
After a few more introductions and small talk, I took a seat next to Natalie and watched as one of the acting coaches set up a scene. The actors did a good job of moving through the scenario and a couple of more that followed.
Natalie then stood up and whispered something to one of the coaches. She reached into her handbag and removed the sock I had declined. I groaned when the actress dressed as the ex-president was brought up on stage and the coach set up the scene.
“You will remain in the character of Lucy,” the acting coach said to Natalie. He then turned to the presidential lookalike. “You will also remain in character; however, you will have a slight problem.”
The coach handed Natalie’s sock to the former president who unzipped. “It will be Lucy’s task to explain as politely as possible that you have left your zipper down, Mr. President.” The acting coach then walked off stage.
The uproar began even before a word was spoken as the actress playing the ex-president inserted the sock and stared off stage, whistling like she or he was completely ignorant of his problem.
“Ah, excuse me Sir,” Natalie began in the voice of Lucy, losing her British accent. “I believe you’re a little over exposed, Mr. President.”
“It happens when you’ve been the head of the free world,” the presidential actor said. “I’m used to people staring. Sometimes they even want to touch me.” The actor chortled, imitating the retired president.
Natalie continued as Lucy, now showing some frustration. “I mean to say, your barn door is open and the cow looks as though it’s ready to do a bit of grazing.”
“Yeah well,” the former president said, “here on the ranch, we get a few problems with old Bessie from time to time. I just try to keep her milked.”
The audience roared with laughter.
“Let me get right to the point,” Natalie said, the exasperation in her Lucy voice now clear. “The turtle is coming out of his shell.”
The ex-president stared at Lucy. “Pets can be quite the nuisance from time to time. I once had a pussy that was so much trouble I got rid of it.”
Now Natalie was laughing. I saw the acting coach double over before he pushed a man in a suit, who looked a little like one of the Blues Brothers, on stage.