Hollywood Gays (5 page)

A: Always the doer, eh?

Q: I always think of sex as a participatory sport, not a spectator one. How about you?

A: Oh, I like New York in June. How about you? Go ahead—now you (alluding to a famous song, “How About You?”).

Q: Moonlight, yes, motor trips and potato chips, I can take or leave (both laugh). Where were we?

A: Bob’s queer, isn’t he?

Q: That’s a sudden one. You mean gay?

A: Well, I bloody well don’t mean jolly.

Q: I don’t know. Has Bob discussed his personal life with you?

A: No, we both try to keep our personal lives out of it.

Q: So it’s a purely business relationship?

A: Of course not. We socialize. We have dinner, we gossip—like you and I are doing—he gives me advice, as a banker.

Q: And personal lives don’t come up?

A:
Nothing
comes up....

Q: I’m sure it doesn’t.

A: Don’t be so sure. Bob’s told me he fancies you. Of
course
he’s gay.

Q: Then why would you ask me?

A: I wanted to see what you’d say. You’ve been pumping me about Valentino and Cooper and I don’t know whom else. Or is it
who
?

Q: I think it’s who. Do you mind that I’m, as you say, pumping you?

A: I don’t mind being pumped, now and then. That’s a metaphor, you understand.

Q: Of course I understand. But I mean, Valentino and those are, or were, public figures. Bob isn’t.

A: And you didn’t give his little secret away. I’m glad. You know a bit about discretion. (Here follows a conversational bridge about Bob’s lesbian wife, initiated by Grant, who knows far more about the relationship than I do....)

Q: You once made a famous quote, “When I’m married, I want to be single, and when I’m single, I want to be married.” First of all, is that a true quote?

A: Yes, I said that.

Q: And so you do feel like that? Now, I mean?

A: Well, it’s natural, isn’t it? I mean, the other man’s grass is always greener.

Q: The quote indicates dissatisfaction.

A: Not at all (annoyed). It’s about restlessness, and that has nothing to do with being dissatisfied. I have every right to be satisfied. Doesn’t prevent me getting bored, though. So many hours in the day....

Q: Do you miss moviemaking?

A: ‘Course I do.

Q: Aren’t you ever tempted to return? They keep asking you to.

A: But I never will.

Q: Is that vanity?

A: Yes. I’m too old to do it.

Q: You have a very virile image....

A: I’m too old for a close-up. I’m not too old to have fun.

Q: I didn’t mean to—

A: (Curiously.) What has Bob told you about me?

Q: Well, that you’re charming, and how...he treasures your dinners together. Jealously, too, for he says it’s always just you two.

A: Did you think we were more than friends?

Q: No.

A: We’re not, you know. Even if I
was
of a mind, he’s too old (Bob was about 45 at the time).

Q: What age do you like?

A: What age have you got? (Smiles self-consciously.) You’re 30, aren’t you? Well past the age of consent....

Q: Thanks.

A: Do you have a girlfriend? At present?

Q: As they say, no.

A: A boyfriend?

Q: No. (I had, and have, a life partner.)

A: So you and Bob aren’t...?

Q: He’s a friend of a friend.

A: You don’t like him very much, do you? I’ll bet you only used him to get to me. (Smiles indulgently.) Never mind. That’s all right. I can’t blame you.

Q: I do like Bob. He’s...a good banker (both laugh).

A: Are you circumcised?

Q: Yes.

A: Because Bob says you’re Jewish on your father’s behalf.

Q: Hmmm? Yes. Well, I am.

A: Are you well-hung?

Q: Mr. Grant....

A: Now, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed?

Q: I guess I am. How come you want to know?

A: We’re
all
curious, aren’t we?

Q: Yes, I am. Hung. And curious. And you?

A: Not in Gary Cooper’s league—thank God. Can you imagine how impractical that would be? Especially if you liked oral sex!

Q: And who doesn’t?

A: Ramon Novarro. You know, it’s a funny thing about Mexican queers. The ones I’ve heard about like only one thing—getting it up the kazoo. Oral sex is taboo for them. Can’t think why. Can you?

Q: Maybe it’s kind of a hygiene hang-up. I don’t know.

A: I can’t imagine a man only liking to get screwed. (Mock-shudders.) Can you?

Q: No. But it does take all kinds.

A: Well, not during AIDS!

Q: Of course not. I know safe-sex is important.

A: Oh, this has turned dreary. Do you have more to drink?

Q: I believe they have some Heineken in the fridge. Shall I check?

A: Of course check. You’re supposed to ply me with booze, and make me do your bidding, silly boy. That is, to get me to answer your questions. (Then, when I return from the fridge with two cans in hand.) You’re not writing a book, are you? You know, you couldn’t get it published, anyway. It’s like Rex Harrison said—something about the press watching out for you.

Q: Did he say that to you?

A: No, someone told me he gave an interview somewhere.

Q: I’ve read that before. I think he said that the press will prevent gay or bisexual stars’ scandals from seeing print.

A: Poor old Rex found that out! (Alluding to Harrison’s widely covered heterosexual peccadilloes.)

Q: Did you know Charles Laughton at all well?

A: Why?

Q: Because I greatly admire him. As an artist.

A: Wasn’t he overrated?

Q:
I
don’t think so. But
did
you know him?

A: No.

Q: So then you don’t know his wife, Elsa Lanchester?

A: Not socially, no. What are you getting at? Was
she?

Q: I was going to ask you.

A:
He
was.

Q: I know
that
. That’s a fact. But I’ve heard conflicting reports about Elsa, though a few friends say she’s bisexual, and other people say she’s lesbian, yet others say that she’s completely asexual. The only person who’s represented Lanchester as a heterosexual is Lanchester herself.

A: Then she must not be heterosexual. If she’s the only one going around saying so. Does she interest you?

Q: Yes, because of two things. One, she’s chosen to live in the shadow of a giant—I mean, when he was alive—and to maintain a facade of a marriage. And because I’ve always found her a scene-stealer, and an underrated talent, yet almost all her film roles are bit parts, and I wonder if that didn’t start because she was always Mrs. Laughton to everybody.

A: Good question. But who knows? Have you met her?

Q: Yes (I had to catch myself, and not reveal that I had interviewed her). She’s...a charming hostess.

A: Did she serve you spirits? I hear she drinks a lot.

Q: Really? No, she served one of those “international coffees”—they all taste alike to me, but I’m a tea drinker—and she had these persimmon cookies she’d made. They were very good, but a bit stale. I’d never heard of persimmon cookies.

A: Count your blessings.

Q: No, she was very nice. And we talked about Charles Laughton, until she tired of the subject.

A: Why did you meet her?

Q: Because I had the chance to, and didn’t want to pass it up.

A: You’re not starstruck, are you?

Q: I think everyone is, somewhat, and it’s nice to be. I’d hate to be jaded about people... I’m thrilled about you....

A: (Touched.) Well...that’s very nice. Have you...seen a lot of my movies?

Q: Everyone has. They’re on TV regularly. You know, you did something smart, Mr. Grant—and maybe without meaning to. You got into dozens of movies with wonderful costars and directors. I mean, apart from you being in them too.

A: I’m glad you enjoy them (stifles a little yawn).

Q: I couldn’t help noticing—and please stop me, if you don’t want me to bring this up—that when I mentioned the author Kenneth Anger, your mouth went down at the corners...?

A: A natural reaction. (Sternly.) I suppose you’ve read his book?

Q: Yes. You haven’t?

A: (Breezily.) I never read gossipy books about Hollywood. They’re so boring. To
me
. Because I’ve been on the inside. I think the outsiders try too hard to get an inside view, and wind up revealing far more about themselves than anyone else.

Q: Isn’t it natural to be curious about the rich and famous—the admired and the worshipped?

A: It is. But not these...obsessions.

Q: Isn’t great ambition an obsession?

A: It results in something. For an actor, it results in entertainment. True, we’re not a crucial profession, like doctors, or like attorneys
think
they are. But we provide a diversion and an outlet. That kind of thing isn’t so important now, but it was when there was a depression on, or a world war. People knew the value of entertainment. Shall I tell you why? (Pausing.)

Q: Please do.

A: I sound like a preacher, don’t I? My mother used to say, “If you want to preach, we’ll rent you a hall.”

Q: Please go on. I know what you’re saying—we have so much access now to entertainment. Do go on.

A: It’s you young people who don’t appreciate it. Your whole lives have to be entertainment. You get bored so easily. That shouldn’t happen until you’re older, until you’re done with a career. But now everything is gratification. And I’ll tell you another thing: that’s why you have AIDS.

Q:
What?

A: It’s not romance now, or spooning. It’s sex, fast and hard and continuous. Don’t you feel that’s what’s behind this?

Q: I have no idea. The experts have no idea. It started in Africa, and from then on...who knows?

A: Well, I don’t like to sound like a prude. I’m anything but a prude, as my real friends will tell you. Bob is not a real friend, not a close one. You can discount anything he says. But what else caused this AIDS? It’s this sexual revolution they kept writing about.

Q: And encouraging?

A: I think so.

Q: I don’t feel the American media encourages sex of any sort.

A: What do you feel they encourage, then?

Q: Consumption and reproduction. And more of each. One feeds the other.

A: Are you a socialist?

Q: Neither socialist nor communist—and you know how many dumb people think they’re the same. But capitalism has to still put people before profits.

A: Yes, that sounds reasonable. But let’s not get to talking politics. You’re not a Republican, are you?

Q: No, and I agree that politics is a dull subject.

A: They say it makes strange bedfellows, too! (Smiles, with an effort.)

Q: I don’t know where they got such an expression. It doesn’t seem to make sense. Do you want another Heineken? By the way, do you know Rock Hudson?

A: Someone told me he has AIDS.

Q: I know. But they’re saying that about every gay actor now.

A: I know him. Don’t tell me you do?

Q: Okay, I won’t tell you.

A: What do you do, collect movie stars? Did Bob introduce you?

Q: No. I met him, again, through a friend—real estate, not banking—who knew one of his ex-lovers.

A: What did you think of him? Or do you still keep in touch? Or should I ask?

Q: When in doubt, ask—that’s my motto. I haven’t seen him in a few years. You know how it goes. Well, I guess you don’t. But...sometimes people cut you off.