Hollywood's Baddest (10 page)

Chapter6

The minutes turned into hours, and the hours turned into days. She went to work, she stayed in her office most of the time, only interacting with others when it was necessary, and she went home. She worked incessantly on the Ryan case, all the while feeling like every part of it was a dagger being driven into her. There was no word from Lucas at all; not one. No text, no call, no email; it was the great void, and she had fallen into it because he had taken her there and she had let him. She wondered if he had planned to abandon her all along, and if that was something he always did. She wondered if all the while he had been teasing her, flirting with her, drawing her in toward him, if he had been thinking to himself about leaving her afterward and focusing on the next girl he was going to go after; like a game. A hunter of women.

She wasn’t eating much or sleeping well and it began to take a toll on her. She could feel it all throughout her body, and she knew that it was going to take her down if she didn’t get better soon. She had avoided her sister’s calls and only returned short brief texts to her.

She hadn’t seen any friends or done any social activities since all of it began, and she knew that she was going to have to do something to change it, but the reality was that she just wasn’t willing to face what she knew was coming. She had been used and left alone; abandoned, and her career was about to end. There was nothing else that she felt she had which was bright in her world.

Alexis told herself that it wouldn’t have hurt so much if she had known ahead of time that he would leave her alone like he did. She told herself that it only hurt so much because she hadn’t let anyone in close to her in so long; he had lit a fire in her like no one else ever had, and it burned so hot and so bright that it went out too fast, leaving her cold and dark. She was amazed that he didn’t feel that, too; that he could walk away from it like it was nothing, but he did, and she could not understand how he could treat her that way, or how anyone could treat another person that way. She felt too much, and carried it too deeply.

Sadness gave way to anger in the two weeks that followed the arraignment, and she began to resent having to defend a man who she believed with everything in her was guilty. She hated having to defend a man who had used her and tossed her to the curb like a piece of trash that wasn’t worth anything. It was infuriating to her, but even that anger burned up what little energy she had.

Two and a half weeks after the arraignment, she was sitting at home when her sister called her and she finally relented and answered the call, knowing that she had avoided Abby as long as she was probably going to be able to. The time had come to tell her what happened, and accept the shame of her actions and foolishness.

“Hey Abby,” she said quietly.

Abby hesitated a moment and then sighed. “Okay, tell me what’s wrong. You’ve been avoiding me left and right and that isn’t going to work anymore. You have to talk to me. I don’t know what’s going on, other than that crazy case of yours, but you better talk to me now.”

Alexis looked around her bedroom as she sat on her bed; her eyes were wide with tears as she tried to stem them, but to no avail. They rolled down her cheeks and little by little, all of the pain that she had been feeling came to the surface and bled from her, washing her clean in its release.

“Oh Abby! God… I’m so stupid! I can’t believe I could have been so stupid.” She cried, wiping at her face in a futile attempt to keep it dry.

“First of all, you aren’t stupid, second… what’s going on?” she pressed again.

With a heaving sigh, Alexis began to tell her. “I… I don’t know what got into my head, but I was working with Lucas and he kept flirting with me… he kept coming on to me, and I tried to stop him a couple of times, but he was like a bull going after a target; he just wasn’t about to give up. I don’t know if it was the thrill of the chase for him; the game he was playing, or what, but he seemed to want me more and more, the further away I pushed him. Finally, he pushed enough that I gave in.”

Abby gasped and squealed. “You did not! You did? Oh my god… did you sleep with him? You slept with Lucan Ryan? Oh… my… god.”

Alexis rolled her eyes and then closed them. “Yes. Okay? I slept with him. I am the most naïve, stupid, idiotic, foolish woman in the world, and I caved to him and slept with him.”

“Well? So? How was it?” Abby asked in fascination.

Alexis had stopped letting herself think about that night, but as she spoke about it aloud, it all came rushing back to her and her heart hurt all over again. “It was amazing. It’s never been like that for me with any man, and… it was just incredible. You couldn’t imagine how incredible it was. I’m never going to have another night like that in my life, and I would want it like that every night if I could have it like that. He was… just… incredible.” She thought of the note he had left for her, telling her how incredibly hot she was. She closed her eyes and wiped away more tears.

“Wow… I’m not surprised, but it’s so amazing!” Abby gushed, and Alexis just shook her head.

“Well, it was amazing the night that it happened, but it sure as hell has not been amazing since then. Not even a little bit.” She said miserably.

“Why?” Abby’s voice changed and worry replaced her excitement.

“He stopped talking to me. As in, totally, completely, entirely, stopped talking to me. Not one word from him since then, except for when we were in court and he had no choice but to talk to me, and even then it was just a few quick short sentences, and only about his case, really. I asked him if anything was wrong and he told me no; we were fine, he was just busy, and I haven’t heard from him since.” Alexis covered her eyes with her hands.

Abby gasped again. “Are you serious? He’s blowing you off! Oh my gosh! What an absolute snake! What a jerk!” she exclaimed angrily in defense of her sister.

“Yeah, pretty much. He’s been totally radio silent. I’ve had better conversations with walls.” Alexis bemoaned her pain.

“I can’t believe he did that.” Abby said in a harsh tone. It was clear that she was furious with the movie star. “That is such crap. You are worth so much more than that. I am just… my god. What a jerk! I’m never going to watch another one of his movies again. You know, Alexis, you are worth so much more than that. You are worth a whole lot more than that. You need to be worshipped by an amazing guy who loves everything about you. That’s what needs to happen. Not this fool who left you hanging like that.”

Alexis shrugged. “Well, apparently he doesn’t think I’m worth anything. He just… kicked me off to the curb like it was nothing at all for him, and I’ve been so lost, trying to figure out how to handle that. It’s been horrible!”

Abby sighed and tried to comfort her. “You’re going to get through this. It’ll be okay. It’s probably going to take a while; it’s been so long since you were with anyone, but you will get over this. He was just fun for a night, look at it like that and then let it go. That’s exactly what he’s doing with you.”

“Well, it’s not just that. It’s not like I can just forget about him; I’m busy working on his case every day, trying to find some way to prove that he is innocent for a crime I’m so positive that he is guilty for, and there’s nothing I can do about that, because I either prove that the guilty man is innocent or I lose my job.

Anderson told me that if I lose this case, I’m out. I won’t be working there anymore. I hate that my whole career is contingent on his court case win; something I can’t possibly prove because he’s guilty as hell! It’s so frustrating! There are reminders of him every single day and I just hate that I can’t get over it and just… let him go.” she cried for a few moments and Abby didn’t say anything, she just let her sister cry it out until she was able to talk again.

“I haven’t been eating, I haven’t been sleeping much, I feel terrible; I’m sick all of the time.” She choked back a sob. "I’m an emotional wreck, and I just feel miserable. I’m sure that part of it has to do with my period, but I…” she stopped talking and opened her eyes, blinking in stillness as she stared straight ahead in silence.

“What is it? What are you doing, Alexis?” Abby asked worriedly.

“Math. I’m doing math… oh god.” Alexis said in a low voice.

“What do you mean you’re doing math? What are you talking about?” Abby asked in confusion.

Alexis closed her eyes and shook her head. “No… no… no…” she murmured. “It can’t be.”

“Alexis!” her sister snapped at her.

“I’m late. My period is late. By more than a week.” Alexis finally said, and it was Abby then who became silent.

“Abby?” Alexis asked quietly into the phone.

“I’m hanging up now. I’ll be right over. Don’t go anywhere.” Abby said, and then the line went silent. The call had ended.

Alexis stared at her phone for a moment and then set it on the bedside table and thought back over the time that had passed since she had stayed the night with Lucas. The math added up, but the reality did not.
There was no
way
she told herself.
No way in the world she could be pregnant. It just wasn’t possible.
She got out of bed and began to pace, thinking about it, and then she began to clean, and twenty minutes later, there was a firm knock at her door. She went straight to it and opened it up to see Abby standing there with a bag in her hand.

Abby handed her the bag and came marching straight into the house. “Here. They have so many different kinds of tests now, you just wouldn’t believe it. I got you a few of them just to make sure. Now, you take that bag in the bathroom and you get busy, and then you call me in as soon as you’re done.”

Alexis looked in the bag hanging in her hands and saw four pregnancy tests in it. Her heart began to race and the blood rushing through her head threatened to deafen her. “It can’t be. I can’t be,” she said quietly.

“Well, you could be, but we aren’t going to know if you don’t get into that bathroom and take those tests. Now, hurry up.” Abby practically dragged her down the hall to the bathroom and pushed her inside, closing the door between them.

Alexis pulled each box out and followed the instructions on them to the letter, terrified of making a mistake. When all four tests were done, she set each one up on the box on the counter and opened the door. Abby was waiting right outside of it for her, and she came straight in.

They both stared at the tests and waited, but it didn’t take long for each one to show a result on the indicators. Every one of them was positive. Alexis gasped and cried and Abby didn’t say a word, she just wrapped her big arms around her sister and held her, keeping her close until Alexis had cried out every tear in her body, and then Abby walked her to her bedroom and curled up in her bed with her, holding her hand and talking with her.

“We’ll figure this out. We’ll get through this. I know this wasn’t in your plans, but babies are always a blessing, even if they don’t seem like it at first. Don’t you worry about it; don’t you fret. I’m here for you and I always will be. We’re just going to do this thing together,” Abby vowed to her, and held her hand firmly.

Alexis shook her head. “No this isn’t the way it was supposed to go! I was supposed to get a promotion and become a senior partner! What am I going to do with a baby? I can’t have a baby! I’m a career woman! And… god… Lucas. What on earth am I going to tell Lucas? He’s not even speaking to me right now! How am I ever going to tell him about this?”

Abby comforted her. “You don’t have to think about any of that right now… you have time to work out just the right way to handle it. You should never make a decision when you are emotional, you told me that. I’m reminding you. Just take some time to soak this in and calm back down from it, and when you’re feeling better, then you can work out the details. Right?”

Alexis wiped at her face and shook her head silently. “Well, at least now I know why I’ve been an emotional wreck the last couple of weeks. I have been upset about Lucas, and that’s not like me. I’ve been feeling so down and sad and… lost…” she sniffed, “and, it’s really not like me at all. It makes perfect sense now.”

“From what I understand, pregnancy will really throw you for a loop and most of the time turn you into someone you never were before. You’ll make it through this, and I’ll be with you the whole way. I’m right here for you, always.” Abby hugged her tightly.

She cried a bit more and after a while the grief and stress was too much for her to bear and she fell asleep beside her sister, who was still holding her hand.

Abby was still there when Alexis woke up, but she was busy in the kitchen. She had cooked up a big meal and insisted that Alexis eat as much of it as she could stomach, and then she helped Alexis get ready for work and sent her to her office. Abby told her that the best thing for her just then was routine, since so many things were taking her out of her comfort zone and it felt like her whole world was crashing down around her.

Alexis had to agree that any kind of normalcy just then would be good for her, and she did as Abby said and went to work. The humdrum of the phones ringing, the people talking, the hustle and bustle of the old familiar sounds of her office comforted her and she let herself get lost in it. It was a lifesaver for her, and she realized that she hadn’t been calm or relaxed since the arraignment.

She walked past a news stand on her lunch hour and happened to glance over, but when she did, what she saw made her stop right in her tracks. There were three different magazines and a newspaper, all of them featuring photographs of Lucas, and in every one of the photographs he was with a different woman, out on the town, having a good time.