“
And you knew this when?
”
“
Yesterday ... I was. . .
”
“
You knew during our drive, you knew last night?
”
“
I
’
m trying to fix it.
”
She smacks him.
“
Fix what? I believed in you, and in your ridiculous company, and you . . . and they . . . betrayed me.
”
“
They betrayed all of us, Maya.
”
“
But you chose not to tell me. Rather than being honest, you chose to hide it. My brother is right. I shouldn
’
t have trusted any of you. You
’
re all liars. There
’
s only one way to fix this.
”
He puts his hands on the outside of her shoulders, but she wriggles free, pushes him away, and rushes toward the lobby.
He doesn
’
t follow her, doesn
’
t move as he watches her round a corner and disappear. Even if you caught up to her, he thinks, what could you possibly say?
As he picks up his phone to check for messages, he hears footsteps on the stone floor. When he looks up, he sees Jules, Audrey, Pat, and Lacy gathered where Maya just stood.
“
Whenever you
’
re ready,
”
Jules says,
“
we
’
re good to go. Isn
’
t that right, ladies?
”
~ * ~
Make-Believe Water
He executes the lie without assistance.
He delivers the opening remarks. He reads the note of congratulations from the prince (which is met, not surprisingly, with silence). There is a tense moment during the demonstration inside the call center when Pat stops Mahesh and the operators mid-fake-call performance, but it passes when she enthusiastically applauds them and holds up Mahesh
’
s hand as if he has just won a
prizefight
.
Outside, Pat and Audrey, once introduced, perform their face-of-the-company functions with grace and professionalism. Audrey, despite the ongoing turmoil in her personal life, is quite eloquent and seems to have absorbed enough of Maya
’
s preparatory bullet points to sound informed and sincere. For her part, Pat is all smiles and unbridled, sustainability-based energy as she addresses the gathering. She even throws in a bonus Galadonian toast, some kind of good-luck prayer that someone—Lacy?—must have shared with her, before handing out the surfboard-sized check, before calling the children from Maya
’
s old village onstage to give them their very own LifeStraws while the corporate videographer gets every second of
it.
As the children put their mouths to the plastic tubes, inhaling make-believe water as celebratory music blasts through speakers stacked alongside the stage, Henry looks among them for Maya
’
s nephew, but he is nowhere to be found.
~ * ~
The whole thing takes about thirty minutes. Because few dignitaries of note are present, there isn
’
t a lot of glad-handing afterward. As refreshments are served, Pat checks her wristwatch and pretends to sip a glass of root tea while Audrey sneaks off to check her messages under the shade of a juniper tree. First her mouth drops open, then she gasps. Drawing the device closer to her eyes to make sure she got it right, she says, loud enough for Henry and Jules and several employees to hear,
“
Oh. My. God!
”
Meredith had the announcement timed almost to the minute, Henry thinks, as he watches the founders of Happy Mountain Springs briefly reunite to stare at a two-by-three-inch LED screen that is telling them that their company no longer exists, that the goodwill program they just flew halfway around the world to launch technically never happened. Not that either of them gives a shit about goodwill at this point.
Audrey seems to be looking for some kind of sentimental gesture from Pat, hands ready to rise to accept a hug. But Pat
’
s only response is to begin to laugh. Henry hears her say,
“
What does it matter to us? We got our money. If anything, it gets us out of having to do this phony back-
slappy
bullshit.
”
“
But,
”
Audrey implores, laying her fingers on Pat
’
s wrist,
“
what about our . . .our legacy?
”
Pat shakes free and laughs at Audrey.
“
Our legacy?
”
She puts her arm around Lacy and squeezes her close.
“
If by
‘
our legacy
’
you mean our names being
friggin
’
conjoined as if we were one, as if we were the thing that marketing made us and others expected from us, well,
that,
finally, thankfully, is over.
”
Audrey stares at her soon-to-be ex-wife and business partner. She wobbles, then tips back in a sort of premeditated faint into the arms of Jules, who seems to have been on the receiving end of this more than once. This only makes Pat laugh more.
“
Come on,
”
Pat says, pulling Lacy toward the car.
“
Let
’
s go have some water-free fun.
”
~ * ~
Terminated
While checking for messages from Maya or Madden, he sees that he
’
s been fired.
“
Because of the closing of Happy Mountain Springs Water Company,
”
begins the note from a person he
’
s never met, someone in, for some reason, Toledo, Ohio,
“
your position has been terminated.
”
Not outsourced or reassigned or transferred. Fired. He reads this in the lot outside the call center as Pat drives away in a limo with Lacy and Audrey sits on a bench sobbing while Jules pats her trembling back.
“
What now, boss?
”
It
’
s Mahesh. As soon as he gets to a computer, he
’
ll find out too. Henry reaches into his pocket and pulls out his corporate credit card. He hands over the card and two hundred American dollars.
“
Nothing left to do here, Mahesh. Your next assignment is to take everyone into town for celebratory food and drinks.
”
Mahesh grabs the card and cash and wraps his arms around Henry.
“
You
’
re coming, right?
”
“
I
’
ve got some stuff to do, Mahesh, but keep me posted and I
’
ll try to stop by.
”
He turns to leave, only to bump into Shug.
“
Can you get me out of here?
”
Shug shrugs.
~ * ~
“
Technically,
”
Henry says,
“
you don
’
t have to do this if you don
’
t want to.
”
They are driving toward the capital, the palace, the Shangri-La Zone.
Shug answers,
“
I know.
”
“
The call center, the whole company, just blew up.
”
“
I said I know.
”
Henry looks out the window. Of course he knows. Everyone knows everything except me. And the little I do know, the little I keep to myself, I get in trouble for not sharing in a timely fashion.
“
So where to?
”
This is a good question. USAVille? Corporate HQ in Manhattan? The about-to-be-foreclosed-on suburban
McMansion
? On the one hand he has no home or job or really anything beyond a laptop and two suitcases filled with clothes he never wants to wear again. Uniforms of conformity. Two modest
suits and a depressing assortment of khaki slacks and polo shirts, representing a phrase he has come to detest, to think of as an oxymoron, an impossibility: business casual.
On the other hand he has six months
’
severance pay, a valid U.S. passport, and nothing to stop him from going anywhere.
Except the will to do it.
He
’
s not sure what
’
s worse, being paralyzed by the lifestyle you
’
ve chosen or by the freedom to start over.
“
How did you already know?
”
“
This is a small country. You know this. You are a person of interest. Connected to the prince.
”
“
Completely by accident.
”
“
And a friend of a controversial businessman.
”
“
Madden?
”
Henry laughs. First the boys from Meat Night were his supposed friends, and now Madden.
“
He has many enemies.
”
“
He
’
s also responsible for securing that truckload of LifeStraws. And maybe something more.
”
Shug nods.
“
Hmmmm
.
”
Perhaps, Henry thinks, he
’
s finally found something Shug wasn
’
t aware of.
“
The funny thing is,
”
he says,
“
there
’
s really nothing about me worth bothering to know.
”
Shug doesn
’
t answer, and Henry interprets the silence as an indictment of his attempt at self-pity.
Near the entrance to USAVille, Shug glances across the front
seat. Without looking back, Henry shakes his head, waves him on.
“
I
’
ve got my documents. Maybe I should just go straight to the airport.
”
Shug clicks his tongue.
“
Not today. Today a bad day to fly.
”
They drive on toward the palace, the early evening Shangri-La cruise on the river.
“
You know,
”
Henry says as the blurred shapes of royal towers appear like black ghosts in the filthy sky,
“
when I got here, I didn
’
t care much about
the job, the so-called mission, certainly not the fate of the people of Galado. But I changed. Once I got to know her, I did. I tried. And not just because of her. Because of the way she changed me. I did want to help.
”
Even though they are on the highway, Shug slows the Range Rover almost to a stop. He doesn
’
t speak until Henry caves and looks at him.
“
You still can help, you know.
”
~ * ~
Fahrenheit 212
Here are 193 people gathered on the banks of a poisoned river affixing laminated name tags, waiting for permission to revel.
Hello! My name is Greed.
Hello! My name is Excess.
Hello! My name is the Opposite of Shangri-Fuc
k
ing-La.