Homecoming Hero (6 page)

Hailey shivered yet again, which was really quite enough of that.

She had to admit, though, words like
Middle East
and
desert
did not come to mind as the scenery whizzed past in a blur. As a matter of fact, Miss Stella seemed to be gobbling up the road a little faster than Hailey would have thought possible.

From under her lowered lashes, she checked the speedometer. Eighty-five.
Eighty-five?

A rush of adrenaline surged through her blood.
Breathe, Hailey. Just breathe.

“Are we late for something?”

“No. Why?”

She pointed to the speedometer, trying not to give in to panic, but—
oh, my
—he'd just pushed their speed past ninety.

“We're going a little fast, wouldn't you say?”

He flashed her that quicksilver grin of his, the one
that had her thinking of big, bad wolves. “I like fast,” he declared.

Afraid to take her eyes off the road, Hailey white-knuckled her seat and stared straight ahead. Okay, yes, the causeway was a long stretch of uninterrupted highway. And there were no other cars out tonight. But still…

Wolf must have sensed her agitation. “Are you all right?”

“Fine. Never better.” She dug her fingers deeper into the soft leather of her seat, but she didn't take her eyes off the road. Blinking was simply not an option. “Having loads and loads of fun over here.”

“Uh-huh.”

“All right, Wolf, let's face it. There's fast and then there's fa-a-a-ast.”

He chuckled, but immediately eased up on the gas pedal. “I know what I'm doing.” He patted her hand. “Trust me, sweetheart.”

Oh, sure. Trust him. That was just soooo easy to do when she was sitting in a muscle car with a guy named
Wolf,
traveling faster than she'd ever gone before.

The best she could do was
not
talk. And maybe watch the scenery. What little she could decipher.

She caught a flash of…something rush by on their left. She figured the quick burst of light had come from Fort Pulaski. The historic Civil War fort sat on a tiny island between the Atlantic Ocean and the Savannah River.

“You can relax your spine a little. We're nearly there,” he announced.

“Praise the Lord!”

Only after he eased up on the accelerator again did she slant a glance in Wolf's direction. The bright
moonlight revealed his features clearly, enough that she could see his brows scrunched in concentration. Obviously he was contemplating his next words very carefully.

“You might be interested to know I ate lunch with your pastor the other day,” he said at last.

“You did?” She wondered when he'd had the time to meet Keith Goodwin, Faith Community Church's senior pastor, then remembered the e-mail she'd received this afternoon. “Oh, you mean J.T.”

“We hammered out most of the details for the survival classes I'm going to teach at your church.”

“That explains why he sent out a blanket announcement encouraging everyone taking a mission trip to attend. The class starts next Wednesday, right?”

“Yep.” He proceeded to beat out a complicated beat on the steering wheel. “Will you be there?”

“Wouldn't miss it.”

He fell silent for a moment. Thanks to the close confines of the car, she could feel the tension in him.

“Tell me why you want to be a missionary,” he blurted out in a rush.

She sighed heavily. “That was certainly straight to the point.”

“Maybe. But we've put off this conversation long enough. You know why I agreed to come to dinner tonight.”

No, actually, she'd forgotten. She'd settled into the evening as though they were on a first date, explaining away the awkward moments to the usual getting-to-know-one-another jitters.

She wouldn't make that mistake again.

“Yes, I know why you're with me tonight.” She ignored the sting of rejection building into tears behind
her eyes and continued. “You think you have to convince me to stay out the Middle East.”

“There's no ‘think' about it.” He slowed yet again, enough to swing Stella down an alley leading to beach access. He slid the car into a parking place under a low-burning streetlight and then cut the engine. “But I promised you an open mind and that's what you'll get from me.”

He sounded sincere. She wasn't sure she believed him.

“Help me to understand your motivation, Hailey.”

“Why?” She frowned at the shadows dancing across Stella's hood. “So you can use the information against me?”

“I wouldn't do something that low. I'm really interested in your answer. What can I say?” He gave her a crooked smile. “You intrigue me.”

Glowing from the unexpected compliment, Hailey held back a gasp of pure feminine pleasure. Suddenly the interior of the car felt too small, too intimate. It was hard to think coherently with this handsome soldier sitting next to her. “Let's discuss this on the beach. I tend to think better when I'm walking.”

He gave her what she was starting to consider the “Wolf” look and then reached for the door handle on his side of the car. “Whatever will make you most comfortable.”

His tone sounded so rigid, the angle of his jaw looked so implacable, Hailey feared he thought she was trying to put off answering his question.

She picked at a speck of white fluff on her sleeve, wondering what he would think if he knew the real reason for her suggestion. She wasn't stalling. She was merely finding it hard to keep her mind on her goals
with his masculine scent teasing her nostrils and his presence scrambling her thoughts.

But as far as her calling to become a missionary? Well, Wolf would either understand her reasons or he wouldn't. No matter what he said or did, he would
not
convince her to stay out of the Middle East.

Forcing down any last remnants of unease, Hailey summoned a brisk air of confidence and climbed out of the car. Game on.

H
ailey started down the beach several feet ahead of Wolf. The full moon cast a brilliant, silver streak of light over the ocean, while the scent of salt water and sand clung to the cold air. Waves broke onto the shore in perfectly timed intervals, creating a sound track for their walk. But with so many thoughts working around in her brain, Hailey couldn't enjoy the scenery.

The sand squeaking under Wolf's feet alerted her to his progress. He caught up with her just as she paused to watch a transport ship ride the distant waves. Its large, guiding light bobbed up and down as the vessel tracked slowly toward the horizon.

Now that the time had come to tell her side of the story, her heart pumped wildly against her ribs. Or was her reaction because he was once again standing so close…
too close?

She slid a quick glance in his direction. He carried himself with an unmistakable air of seriousness. His gait was stiff and careful, as though the soft sand presented a slight challenge for him.

Again, she wondered if he'd been wounded in the roadside bomb attack and whether or not he had
a lingering injury. One that acted up in the damp beach air.

Of course, now probably wasn't the best time to ask him. She'd stalled long enough. “If I'm going to explain where I am and where I'm heading, it's important you know where I come from.”

“I know where you come from.” His voice matched his stiff gait. “Generations of family tradition, with the kind of long-reaching roots that didn't just start a few years ago but
centuries
ago.”

He didn't sound impressed. On the contrary, his voice held a note of censure.

She stopped walking.

He did the same.

The moonlight gave her enough illumination to see his face clearly. The sharp angle of his jaw made him look harsh and unforgiving.

“You hold my upbringing against me.” She all but gasped out the words.

“I'm trying not to.”

A part of her appreciated his honesty, but the obvious doubt in his tone told her he wasn't having much success.

Hailey gave him a bewildered shake of her head. “Why is it wrong to come from an old family, to have solid roots?”

He twisted his stance to look out over the water, shutting her out as effectively as if he'd completely turned his back to her. “There's nothing
wrong
with it. It's just not something I have much experience with. My family wasn't exactly like yours.”

Something in his tone alerted her to tread carefully. “No?”

He continued looking out over the water. “Let's just say my childhood wasn't as…secure as yours.”

His softly uttered words said it all. Clearly, Wolf's parents—one or both of them—had let him down in some terrible way. Although she didn't know the specifics, her heart took a painful dip in her chest for all that he'd suffered. And, yes, she had no doubt he'd suffered.

“I'm sorry, Wolf.” What more could she say?

“I believe you are.” He turned and closed the distance between them—literally and figuratively. The barriers he'd erected earlier were gone. Completely. He'd simply let them drop and was now looking at her with stormy emotion waging a war in his gaze.

Hailey felt honored that he trusted her enough to let her see all that raw pain. And yet, she was petrified she would somehow let him down. He kept so much inside him she had no idea how to proceed. Or what words to use.

Fortunately, she didn't have to say or do anything, because in the next moment he took her hand and cupped it protectively in his. She watched, fascinated, as he stroked the pad of his thumb across her knuckles. Once. Twice. Her heart did another quick flip at the same moment he twined his fingers through hers.

“Tonight isn't about me or my dysfunctional childhood,” he said at last, still staring at their joined hands.

Perhaps any other time Hailey would have agreed with him. But if she'd learned anything in her countless Bible studies, it was to go in the direction God nudged her. At the moment, she felt a strong shove toward Wolf. “Maybe if you told me—”

He spoke right over her. “Go on, Hailey, help me to
understand your desire to become a missionary. And don't use fancy clichés like we heard from the Mulligans. I want honesty from you.”

He was so large, so intense, so…
close.
Yet fear wasn't the first emotion that ran through her. It was a strange mix of excitement and fascination. Like he'd claimed about her earlier, the man definitely intrigued her. “All right. If that's what you want.”

“It is.”

In silent agreement, they resumed walking, still holding hands. Even though her instincts warned her not to get too comfortable, the connection between them felt so natural, so familiar, Hailey didn't try to pull away.

“Just like you said, I come from an old Savannah family, with solid roots and a legacy that can be traced back to the seventeen hundreds. There's always been wealth and privilege in my family. But don't think that means the O'Briens have ever taken their blessings for granted. My mother in particular took her position in society very seriously. She spent her entire life dedicated to her causes. She—”

Hailey cut off her own words, a sense of loss and frustration mingling inside her. She knew she would never fill her mother's shoes. And, much to her shame, there were moments when she was glad for it. Sitting on charity boards and supplying funds for various causes had never been satisfying. Unfortunately, it had taken Clay's death to reveal that truth to her.

With a gentle tug on her hand, Wolf slowed their pace. Hailey hadn't realized she'd sped up.

“What about your father?” he asked. “Tell me about him.”

Glad for the change in topic, Hailey smiled. “He was the senior partner in the law firm my great-grandfather
founded. Daddy was a really good lawyer but he was an even better father. He was kind, loving, firm yet fair.”

“You were fortunate, then.”

“I was,” she said, pausing to decipher what she heard in his tone. Bleakness? Envy? If only he would tell her more about his past. If only she could read his expression and decipher his secrets for herself. But the moon had slipped temporarily behind a cloud.

Wolf cleared his throat. “Clay mentioned your parents were killed in a plane crash.”

Instant pain unfolded in her chest and threatened to crowd out the breath in her lungs. Hailey
couldn't
give in to her grief. Not in front of Wolf.

She inhaled a ragged swallow of air and said, “My father was flying the company jet. My mother was his only passenger. They were coming to a University of Georgia football game. Clay and I were waiting for them at a private airport in Athens. We were supposed to all sit together at the game. I… We…”

Before she realized what he was doing, Wolf swiveled in front of her and caught her up in his arms. “I'm sorry, Hailey. Losing both of them at the same time.” He made a sympathetic sound deep in his throat. “That had to be tough, especially with parents like yours.”

With Wolf's strong arms wrapped around her, Hailey gave up fighting the onslaught of emotions demanding release. Sighing, she rested her cheek on his shoulder and let the sorrow come.

After a few endless moments of gasping for air, she was able to continue. “As hard as it was to lose them, losing Clay was harder.” A series of silent sobs wracked through her body. “He wasn't just my brother. He was my best friend.”

Wolf's embrace tightened. “Clay was the best man I ever met.”

She smiled into Wolf's muscular shoulder. The leather jacket felt cool on her cheek. “Of course he was.”

Murmuring an unintelligible response, he dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

After several minutes of Hailey clinging and Wolf rubbing her back soothingly, he set her away from him. The cold, damp air slapped her in the face.

They set off down the beach again. This time, Wolf didn't take her hand. The lack of connection left her feeling isolated and alone.

“I know Clay joined the Army after your parents' plane crashed. What about you, Hailey? What did you do after they died?”

“I finished college with a degree in Latin and one in Greek. Then I earned another in Classical Literature.” She kept her voice even, or as even as she could under the circumstances.

“I take it you like learning.”

She shrugged. “With my parents dead and Clay in Iraq, school was my only lifeline, the only thing I knew.”

“Understandable.”

Why did he have to be so sweet? When he was here for all the wrong reasons? “Anyway, one of my professors told me I couldn't take classes forever, not without an end goal in mind.”

“He kicked you out?”

Wolf's outrage made her smile. “Not exactly, but
she
didn't encourage me to stay, either. Since I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life, I came home and took over my mother's charity work.”

“Is that when you decided to become a missionary?”

“No.” She abruptly changed direction and ambled toward the water's edge. This was where the conversation got hard.

She pulled in a sharp breath. “There was something still missing. At Clay's urging, I joined Faith Community Church and started taking Bible studies.” She dug a toe in the wet sand, kicked a ball of white foam in the air. “Within a year I could rattle off Scripture as well as any trained pastor.”

Wolf drew alongside her. “That's a bad thing?”

“It was for me. I'd intellectualized my faith. Clay kept pushing me to get my hands dirty, but I didn't know what he meant. And then…” She paused until she was certain she could speak without her voice breaking. “He died.”

Just saying those two horrible, awful,
painful
words, tears welled in her eyes. She held them back with a ruthless blink and turned her head to look at Wolf. Even under the muted moonlight she saw her own sorrow mirrored in his gaze.

That gave her the courage to finish with the honesty he'd requested. “Not long after his death, I realized what Clay meant. I was just playing at being a Christian.”

“Doesn't seem that way to me.”

“Come on, Wolf. Don't you understand? Having a heart for causes is
not
the same thing as having a heart for people. The truth is…” She choked back a sob. “I'm a fraud.”

 

Wolf stared into Hailey's eyes. They were bright with unshed tears. He'd never seen such self-recrimination,
or such conviction to change. Except, possibly, when he looked in his own mirror.

Willingly or not, Hailey had just revealed her greatest fear—that her life was meaningless and without purpose.

Wolf had lived with that particular terror himself. He'd lost everything that day in Iraq. His brothers in arms, his best friend, even his purpose. Or rather his surety in his future with the Army.

He'd been questioning his life choices ever since. Rightfully so. But in Hailey's case, she was dead wrong. “You're no fraud. You're the real deal.”

“Not yet.” She swiped the back of her hand across her eyes and sniffed. “But I will be.”

“Don't do this to yourself. I saw you in action the other day, with those teenage girls. You touched their lives right in front of me.”

“It's not the same.”

“Why? What's wrong with helping people in your own church?”

“It's not enough.” She batted at a strand of hair that had fallen over her face. “Not
nearly
enough.”

“Oh, I get it now.” He laughed without a stitch of humor. “You think risking your life in a foreign land is the only thing that will make you a real Christian.”

“I didn't say that.”

“You didn't have to.”

Her expression turned stormy. “You're intentionally misunderstanding me.”

Not even close. “Look, Hailey, giving men and women a uniform and a gun doesn't make them soldiers. Nor will hopping on an airplane and flying to the Middle East make you a better Christian.”

Her head snapped back as if he'd slapped her. “My brother thought otherwise.”

A high-definition image of Clay's pale face insinuated itself into Wolf's mind. For one black moment, he was tempted to give Hailey all the gory details of her brother's death. The sights, the sounds, the terrible smell of blood that haunted Wolf in his dreams.

“No, Hailey.” The effort to restrain himself had his words coming out hard and fast. “Clay didn't believe that for a second.”

“He did. I have his e-mails to prove it. He died because he believed in the Army's mission. I have to honor that. I have to honor him.”

The sheen of tears in her eyes gave Wolf pause. But only for a second. “How do you plan to do that? By dying for your beliefs, as well?”

“You're being intentionally obtuse.” She wrapped her arms around her waist and stared out over the water. “J.T. understands my motives. Why can't you?”

Overwhelmed by an intense surge of jealousy at the mention of J.T.'s name, Wolf's jaw tightened of its own accord. He swallowed.
Hard.
Then forced his teeth to unclench. “Don't mistake a guy's romantic interest in you with understanding.”

Her head whipped toward him. “It's not like that between J.T. and me.”

“It's
always
like that.”

She spun away from him. “I'm through with this conversation.”

“Well, I'm not.” He reined in his temper enough to walk calmly around her. “Despite what you think, Clay isn't looking down from heaven waiting for you to prove you're as courageous as he was. His last request was
to make sure you stayed safe. I'm here to ensure that happens.”

Her stubborn expression returned. The silence lengthened to an uncomfortable amount of time. In that moment, with her eyes telling him she would
not
back down, Wolf realized more arguing on his part would hurt his cause.