In another room the wraps were ripped off without ceremony.
Several wheelchairs (at first glance, the first horseless carriages) established the point thatâideallyâthe healthy partner too becomes geared to the chair: and so there was some embarrassment here, side glances at Gwen Kaddok. She certainly seemed a shade more solemn, even quieter than usual.
Joint cigarettes, joint bank accounts, joint interest in sports, hobbies and magazine subscriptions: of little interest.
Sheila and Violet stayed outside.
Then came a group of crudely carved stones, about knee-high, a dozen or more in rows. Compelling in their simplicity or in their lonely arrangement they radiated a kind ofâ¦demanding silence. Again certain modern sculptures sprang to mind: what was that art museum on West 53rd Street? Such comparisons however were superficial. Lifted from the outskirts of villages in Northern India these were monuments to those faithful and virtuous Hindu widows who'd thrown themselves on their husbands' funeral pyres, were suttee stones. The ultimate testimony to marriage.
Opinions and objections broke out.
âI can't believe that!'
Moving among them they touched the stones. Each oneârepresenting a lifeâprovoked violent images in full colour; and Violet yawned.
âThey must have loved their husbandsâ¦'
âIt was their tradition.'
âIt's ridiculous. Degrading.'
Banned in India from the days of the Raj, sutteeism is still practised today. Yes: on good authority. Paragraphs occasionally appear in the
Times of India
, Bombay. Whatever one may think, they stand as the supreme monuments to uxorial devotion; interesting word uxorial.
âWhat does the institution feel?' North asked. âIs it right?
âOf course, yes and no,' the redhead replied. âSome of the older, more traditional members approve.'
âHow silly,' said Gwen.
âAnyway, you're asking a moral question,' Gerald interrupted.
âWe're pleased to have them here,' the redhead insisted, patting his arm. âThey make a wonderful valid general point.'
Outside the last door but one: they were checked by a rotting stench, and the few who ventured in pressed handkerchiefs to their mouths. In the middle of the floor stood a standard garbage bin. It had its lid slightly askew. The banal object had assumed a queer ominous power.
Now the point was, the point wasâ
Who puts the garbage bin out at night
? A pedestrian question, to be sure, yet it lies at the heart of the institution. The unpleasant, regularly spaced chores can suddenly crack the finest relationship asunder. Here the rotting scraps which included fish had been randomly collected on a regular basis to demonstrate the problem.
âIt can cut both ways,' the redhead told them. âSome folks find this a lyrical task, epitomising their devotion to their partner. They come to adore the filthy lid and handles.' She beamed like a Chinese cadre. âI always carried it out for my husband.'
âThat's a man's job,' Mrs Cathcart insisted. âI never have, unless Doug was sick.'
The redhead glanced at the others and turned to the last door.
About to turn the handle she stopped. Voices could be heard: single syllables, from a man. A woman's jagged sentences entered rising. Straining outside they had difficulty deciphering the words. The woman began crying. The man shouted: impotence. They were yelling, both of them now, and Louisa turned away,
âI can't bear this,' she said. She confided to Gwen, âI stopped arguing long ago, I give in. Otherwise it can be too much.'
âIt doesn't get us anywhere,' said Gwen understanding. âThey're difficult; stubborn is the word. I sometimes feel sorry for them.'
âYesâ¦' Louisa glanced at her. âYesâ¦'
âWe had our arguments,' North answered Sasha, âNot many; I think we were too lazy.'
Sasha wanted to know more.
Caricatures of mothers-in-law. Haw, haw: the interfering old warhorse is evidently another universal. Four rusty chastity belts, c. 1460. One had the key jammed.
Leaning on Phillip North's elbow as they entered a large light-filled room Sasha kept pointing and whispering at things, in many cases unnecessarily. Virtually unnoticed Violet and Sheila brought up the rear.
To Gerald's dismayâhis grimace at Northâthe walls were lined with small photographs. They had been collected from all over the world. Beginning along the top were newly marrieds and descending in the rows below marriages which broke up after One Year, Five Years and Tenâso the far edges formed a jagged hypotenuse.
At intervals a small printed card interrupted the photographs:
OF THE ESTIMATED
100
BILLION PHOTOGRAPHS IN EXISTENCE A GREAT PROPORTION AREâNOT UNNATURALLYâRECORDS OF MARRIED LIFE. IT IS THE NICEST THING TO RECORD THOUGH NOT ALWAYS
.
âOnly a selection,' the redhead piped up. She had to yell for they were dispersed around the long walls. âWe have the rest on microfilm. We believe we have just about every marriage in the world after 1950.'
A Honeywell computer link-up would locate a name among the four walls and mark it with a flashing light. It could retrieve a broken marriage from the many thousands in âstorage' and in no time at all place the victim's photograph in the appropriate row, marking it with a flashing light. Film stars were much in demand. Hidden among the statistics were many famous names. Only the United States with its resources and resolve could have pulled all this together: land of so many promises.
The redhead stood behind a special hooded keyboard and arched her eyebrows. âAll right now, gang. Who's been divorced?'
Violet Hopper raised her hand and watched amused as the freckled fingers typed out her name: flashing lights appeared in two, three,
four
separate places around the room. It drew whistles and catcalls.
âViolet,' Sasha laughed, âyou should be ashamed.' Violet had joined them to inspect her own photographs; Sasha could have hugged her friend, she was having such a good time. Only Mrs Cathcart remained in the middle, holding Doug's sleeve when he made a move, and let out two tremendous sighs.
The photographs showed Violet cheek-to-cheek with her former husbands, and in the firstâthe light indicating Married Five Yearsâshe must have been scarcely nineteen. At that time Violet was taut-faced, already rueful. The husband gazed straight at the camera, but she turned to one side slightly, looking away. Oddly enough, as Sheila remarked, three of her four men had moustaches and were fleshy-faced. Her husbands looked remarkably the same.
âI suppose I'll be up there soon,' Louisa remarked, though the one who heard, Gwen Kaddok, earnestly shook her head.
âAnyone else?' this redhead called out on one foot. 'No? Well, give us another name. A friend or relation. Anyone want any dirt on a politician?'
Standing beside her Sheila whispered, âHammersly, Frank Hammersly.'
Instantly two lights appeared.
âWhat are you bothering with him for?' Violet asked. âListen to me.'
But Sheila had gone up and squinted at Hammersly and his first mistake, a pleasant face with a crooked front tooth. As a young man, Frank Hammersly had a country boy's jug ears.
âHe's no good. I know it. Believe me.'
âBut Violet, he has been nice to me. I can't imagine how I seemed to him. What must he be thinking?'
The walls lit up with the busted marriages of Australian architects, secretive aunts, randy male friends of some, and Hofmann's father. A good half hour passed before the redhead closed the âswitchboard', saying for their benefit, âThat was fun. That was fun.'
All along there had been nothing new; though perhaps something had been set in order, confirmed, or set in motion even. The institution would always remain. 'I didn't see much to photograph,' Kaddok complained. âThere are no surprises in the institution of marriage,' said Mrs Cathcart satisfied. âWhat did you expect?'
At the exit a small portable chapel had been installed. Ceremonies can be quickly performed for couples overcome. Sliding screens guarantee the ambience of each denomination. But on the other side, a walnut confessional with purple curtain and scratched step had been placed for marriage counselling, thereby harshly balancing the overall favourable impression provided by the institution.
But the redhead didn't seem to notice. âCome again!' she said to each one as they shook her hand. She planted a kiss on the side of Gerald's neck, sending colour up to his ears. One of the stags was on its knees, but still fighting back. And Sasha held onto North's arm.
This was the time of the Primaries and rejoicing at the freeing of âEnterprise' in South East Asia; wild rejoicing; crash landing of that lazy Jumbo at Kennedy International Airport (thirteen survivors); concern expressed by the committee of crack metallurgists at the hairline fissures round the earsâaround the ears of the Statue of Liberty (âthat's perlooshun'); world bantamweight title fight at Madison Square Garden (the boy from Ghana, on points); snow, sleet and slush. Monday. This day was proclaimed national holiday. Strange how the streets and the tremendous straight avenues of Manhattan had been drained of vertical figures, collisions and purpose: then little left to stockade the razor wind off the Hudson. Shadow slabs, tall silence, that stretch of distant avenue blocked by a slow hump. Violet Hopper mused, as if on stage: the city made a person aware of time, of its slow white volume, and how they were loose particles briefly within it. The gradual accumulation of confusions was now revealed, there temporarily being no other confusions to distract. The congestion had gone. It felt similar to jet lag.
They turned to each other.
âWe don't speak very well. Have you noticed how the Americans are so descriptive and confident? Our sentences are shorter. Our thoughts break off. We don't seem comfortable talking, I don't know why. Have you noticed we make silly quips, even when someone asks the time? I caught myself with the bus driver yesterday.'
âYou mean us, Australians?'
Borelli agreed. âWe're embarrassed. We're not as confident as we look. We speak in jerks, or we're over-familiar. The quips you mention I think might be connected to our geographical location, and our land emptiness.'
Louisa laughed. He could talk, yet he so rarely remained at the table.
âPossibly,' said North looking at Borelli, Sasha seated beside him.
âWe're not bad,' Doug called out. âI've known a few who could talk the leg off a chair.' He turned to his wife. âYou've met Clem McCagney at work.'
âBut I think quips keep us going. Being so far removed and relatively alone,' Borelli went on, âwe seem to need encouragement. Quips help us along; things aren't all that bad. It's as if, in Australia, we're all in hospital. There's a lot of quipping in hospitals.'
And they all laughed and glanced down at their clothing.
Mrs Cathcart had to correct the impression: âSir Robert Menzies was a fine speaker.'
âThe Australian Prime Minister,' Kaddok put in.
North turned to Borelli. âThe explanation might merely be habit. Why, for example, do men and women in Paris talk with cigarettes hanging from their bottom lips? In India people slowly shake their heads when they mean “yes”.'
âThe French. Aren't they piggy to foreigners?' Sasha asked.
Gerald leaned forward. âI'm not 100 per cent sure about the Americans. I must say I've always had my doubts. As you say, they can talk.'
âThey've had television for a long timeâ¦'
âThe Yanks are all right. They're generous. That you would have to admit. And great artists, great scientistsâ¦'
âYou mean they're clever.'
âWhat about Canadians? Have you ever met an interesting Canadian?'
The comparisons, their anecdotes. Gerald pursed his lips.
âYes, I'm not crazy about the Canadians.'
âI don't remember any,' Violet mysteriously cracked.
âI've never been one for the Germans,' Sheila confessed. âI don't know why.'
âThe Second World War,' Kaddok chipped in.
âWhat about the English?'
The English⦠What about the English?
âAr, the old Poms are all right,' said Doug. âLet 'em go.'
âThey're miles better than the Irish.'
âYou don't find the English have their nose in the air, perhaps a trifle superior?'
âNo more than the French,' said North.
âThe English are on a plateau,' said Borelli. âIt's green and cultivated, and they're resting. They're having a good time.'
âThe Scots don't have a sense of humour,' someone said.
âMind you, I've heard the Poles keep to themselves. It's not on our ticket, is it?'
No, Poland was off.