Hope (34 page)

"Hmm, you’re right. Can anyone else add to that?" Lord Alextor looked around, welcoming any comments. When no one responded, he continued. "Now, we’ll have a total of eight mounted squads and seven winged. There will be Grays intermixed throughout all of the mounted squads and five of the winged squads, with two pure Gray squads led by Garrent and Kathryn. That’ll give us enough magic to cover the Browns on the ground and in the sky. If we can tire the Daemons enough to stay on the ground, then the agility of the mounted knights will be our advantage. I think everything else is up to the Goddess. Be safe everyone and I’ll see you in the morning."

Lord Alextor was stuck with the job of destroying the portal if things went terribly wrong. He was also one of the few people who could speak the language of the Lir'Kelah well enough to negotiate with them in case they needed to take refuge to the north. While this role frustrated him, he had no choice since he was the leader of the Knighthood. People depended upon him to protect them and sometimes that meant remaining behind.

A knock sounded upon her door and Kathryn opened it to reveal Mikael and a young girl with a missing hand. Kathryn stood frozen, unable to take her eyes off the girl. She had her father's blue eyes and her grandmother's mousy hair.

Mikael hesitated, and then said, "This is Jenna. Is something wrong Lady Kathryn? I know we weren’t supposed to visit Dargo for another two days..."

"Mom?"

Kathryn sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around Rachel’s sobbing frame. Tears flowed from Kathryn’s eyes and she clung to her daughter with the intent never let her go. She remembered the closed casket, holding nothing but her daughter’s severed hand. The police searched the river for five days for the rest of her body, and then gave up. She always felt cheated only to bury a part of her daughter.

"Rachel, how did you get here?" Kathryn whispered in horrified relief.

Rachel cried and couldn’t answer between her gasping breaths.

"I found her in the middle of a Daemon battle." Mikael spoke up. "She stood shivering next to my wife’s body and I took her in. I never knew her real name. She didn’t talk for over a month, so I just called her Jenna...the name we had intended for our daughter."

Kathryn sat back on her heels, rocking Rachel back and forth.

Dargo, sensing their mood, joined in the reunion and his terrible breath made Rachel groan in disgust. "Dargo, that’s disgusting."

Dargo beat Mikael with his tail and Kathryn smiled up at the Royal Guardsman. "You’ve taken good care of her."

Mikael gave her a sad smile. "We’ll work on packing her things so she can move into the castle with you. I no longer have the right to claim her."

The plans for the Final Battle rushed back into the forefront of her mind. "I don’t know if that’s such a good idea right now."

Rachel broke the embrace. "What do you mean, mom? I can stay with you now, right?" Her panicked eyes raced between Mikael and Kathryn.

"Rachel, I need to speak with Mikael for a moment. Can you take Dargo over to the bed and get him to settle down?" She gestured to Dargo who was staggering between Mikael and Rachel with occasional glances to Kathryn.

"Sure. C’mon Dargo." She ran to the bed and Dargo joined her on Kathryn’s pillow.

"Don’t get comfortable, Dargo." Kathryn sighed, and then turned to Mikael. "Have you spoken to Sir Lanclor or Lord Alextor?"

Mikael shook his head. "No. I had patrol last night, so came straight here when I woke up to your summons."

"We’re attacking the Daemons in force tomorrow. They’re massing in a valley just south of where Southker village used to be. A group of knights will stay behind if the castle needs to be evacuated and the plan is to move everyone north if things go sour. I’m part of the group heading south." Kathryn glanced at Rachel with dread. "I only just found her, Mikael. I need to know that she has you if I can’t make it back." She returned her gaze to Mikael’s troubled eyes.

"Regardless of blood, Rachel will always be my daughter. I’ll keep her with me until you return."

She lowered her voice. "Mikael, I’m not so sure I will return. I need your promise that you’ll take her north if we lose the battle."

"You have my word, Lady Kathryn." He placed his hand upon her shoulder and Kathryn fought the tears already flowing from her eyes. "I’m on duty soon and have to bring her home in an hour. I’ll leave you two alone to discuss it."

"Thanks Mikael, for everything."

"You’re welcome. Jenna—Rachel, I’ll be back in an hour."

"Okay, Mikael." Rachel waved while petting Dargo’s neck.

Alone with Rachel, Kathryn sat on the bed and placed her hand on Rachel’s hair. She used to stroke her hair often, using any opportunity to show her daughter affection, and now was no different.

"Mom, what happened to Grandma and Uncle Donny?" Rachel whispered, not taking her eyes off Dargo.

"Oh, honey. Grandma died in the car accident. Uncle Donny got hurt."

Rachel nodded, the only sign of her distress an occasional sniffle. "Did that happen because of me?"

"Oh no. No, no, no. It wasn’t your fault." She pulled Rachel to her chest, trying to drown out the memory of Donny’s claim that something tried to attack his car before he crashed into the river. Kathryn always thought it was Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from the war, but she now realized she wasn’t the only victim of the black void.

"Rachel, I need you to stay with Mikael for now."

"What? Why can’t I stay with you?" Rachel mumbled into her shirt.

"I’m a knight. We have a big battle tomorrow and I won’t be around to watch you. All of your stuff is at Mikael’s anyway. I’ll have to talk to Lord Alextor and see if I can get a nicer place with an extra bedroom so you can have your own bed."

"Mom, I’m not stupid or deaf. I know you’re not sure if you’re coming back." Rachel pulled away and gave her a serious look. "I’m big enough now to know it’s best if I stay with Mikael. I’ve been with him since I’ve been here and he’s more of a father than dad ever was. I’ll be okay."

Kathryn pulled her close and cried over missing the innocent years of her daughter’s life. She ached at losing Rachel again, but knowing her daughter lived made it bearable. "I love you, Rachel."

"I love you too, mom."

Kathryn wandered the quiet halls to try to clear her head. She walked past the windows overlooking the darkening sky of the courtyard and stepped into the library. A single light globe illuminated the table in the far right corner. She saw his silhouette and paused just past the doorway. His elbow propped his helmeted head upon the table above a thick book.

Without warning, he stood and threw the book across the room, then crossed his arms and stared at the light globe. She saw anger in the stance of his wings and feared she had upset him with her presence, but he didn't appear to see her past the globe's light.

Without her armor or helmet, she made her silent way toward him. As her white wings made her visible, Sir Lanclor looked her way with his hand reaching toward his sword.

"Lady Kathryn. I didn't hear you come in." His hand relaxed. His voice held an undercurrent of sadness.

"Indeed." Kathryn walked over to pick up the thrown book. She felt Sir Lanclor’s eyes upon her as she bent over. When she turned back, he met her eyes then turned and sat back down at the table. Dragging a chair beside him, she set the book back upon the table and sat down, intentionally spreading her wings in such a way so that they brushed his. He made no move to break the contact.

"We don’t have any more time to find the answer." Sir Lanclor placed his elbows upon the table, clenched his hands together and leaned his head against them. "I’m going to die tomorrow."

Kathryn didn’t know what to say. She’d had the Sight so many times that she couldn’t comfort him with a false denial. If they had more time, maybe she could throw out ideas on how to avert the disaster. She reached over and placed her hand upon his armored bicep. Unsure what to say, she remained silent.

Sir Lanclor looked down at her hand and covered it with his right for a brief moment before clearing his throat and rising to his feet. He grabbed the book and disappeared into the shadows of the shelves in the back of the library.

Kathryn jumped to her feet and followed him into the darkness, pausing just long enough to let her eyes adjust to the faint light. She saw his darker form and continued ahead, trapping him between the wall and two bookshelves on either side. Turning, he looked her way and froze.

Spreading her wings to block his escape, she stopped a foot in front of him. Not wanting to strain her neck, she felt around for the familiar stool with her foot. She pulled it over and stepped up to his eye level.

"What is this about, Lady Kathryn?" Sir Lanclor put his hands upon his hips and stood with his wings extended, similar to a small animal trying to make itself larger when faced with a predator.

"I’m not going to let you die, Matthis."

Sir Lanclor took a step backward and bumped against the wall. He turned to look behind him and spread his arms for balance. "Why did you call me that?"

"Because it's your name. I know who you are. A’lath." She released the spell and a small light glowed above them emitting just enough light to allow them to see each other.

"Matthis doesn’t exist anymore." He made no move to leave, so Kathryn stepped back off the stool and pushed it closer to him.

She stepped back onto the stool and was close enough to feel his breath against her lips. "He existed during the Ball."

"That was a mistake." His wings drooped and he attempted to move to her left.

Her arm shot out and halted his progress.

"Let it go, Lady Kathryn." He settled back into his former position.

Kathryn reached underneath his helmet with both hands and he gripped her wrists.

"Just turn around and walk away." His grip was firm, yet gentle.

She glared at him, willing herself not to cry. He released her and offered no resistance while she unbuckled his helmet and pulled it over his head. Dropping the helmet to the floor, she looked upon a different version of the man she’d met earlier in the year.

With dark circles beneath his eyes and stubble adorning his chin, he regarded her with weary eyes. "What is the purpose of this?" His words drew her eyes to his lips.

Leaning forward, she brushed his lips with hers. His posture stiffened, then relaxed. The kiss was tentative at first, intensifying as he slid his arms around her. His stubble hurt her face, but she ignored the pain.

Her tongue caressed his and she felt him shudder and tighten his hold on her. His armor dug into her and only then did she pull away and return his look. She saw the desire and joy in his eyes and his gradual dampening of both.

"Why are you doing this, Lady Kathryn? You don't want a relationship with me." Bitterness laced his words.

"Why does everyone keep telling me what I want? I'm old enough to make my own decisions and those decisions are not based upon the opinions of others. If you don't want me, then that's one thing..." Kathryn held her breath.

A brief moment of indecision flashed within his eyes and he looked away. He clenched his jaw and returned her look. "I could lie and tell you I didn't, but you know me better than that. I just don't want you to get hurt. People can be cruel."

She released her breath, closing her eyes in relief. It was short-lived. "So, the only reason for us not to be together is to please other people?" Kathryn felt her eyes start to water and looked away. Her entire life had been spent worrying about what other people thought. She pursed her lips and gave him an angry look. "I can't accept that."

He returned her look and tightened his grip on her. "Neither can I." Leaning forward, he kissed her with such passion the stool started to tip.