Hope (Book 2, Harvester of Light Trilogy; Young Adult Science Fiction) (19 page)

I turned to Grace
and followed her back out of the room.

“You can go now
Walsh, but come back in the morning.  I would like to see more of the camp.”

Walsh bowed to me.

“I will be back
first thing tomorrow,” he said before leaving.

Mary Anne was
waiting for me in the dining room as Grace and I entered.  She stood at the far
end of the table where a platter with a silver dome cover awaited me.  After I
sat down in the chair at the head of the table, Mary Anne lifted the dome
revealing three slices of rack of lamb cooked only until the meat was left
slightly pink inside.  Sitting beside them were glazed potatoes and baby
carrots.

“I hope you enjoy
it,” Grace said, her face beaming with pride.  “Your mother used to have that
meal twice a week when she was a child.”

“It looks
delicious,” I said.  “Would the two of you mind leaving me while I eat?”  All I
needed was an old woman who smelled like death hovering around me while I tried
to enjoy my meal.

“Of course,” said
Grace.  “We’ll go prepare your bath for you.  Simply ring the bell by your
plate to call us back if you need anything else.”

After Grace left,
I felt like I could breathe again.  I still couldn’t understand why my mother
would want human servants, especially an old one who was a constant reminder of
death.

I let me head
dangle over the plate of food to breathe in the succulent fragrances, washing
away the stench of decay which seemed to linger in the room even after Grace’s
departure.  I didn’t realize I was so hungry until I began to eat.  Five
minutes later, I was finished with my meal and wanted more.  I rang the bell to
which Mary Anne appeared almost immediately.  After asking her for more food,
she brought in the rest of the rack of lamb and what was left of the vegetables
she and Grace had prepared.  It didn’t take me long to finish the meal before I
asked to be taken to my bath.

Marry Anne led me
to a bathroom on the second floor of the house.  The room was made almost
entirely out of a copper veined white marble.  A circular sunken in porcelain tub
filled with warm water and bubbles awaited me.  I let Grace and Mary Anne help
me disrobe.  As Grace was folding up my pants, I heard the sound of something
solid hit the floor.  When I looked down, I saw it was the stone Jace had given
to me.  Grace leaned down to pick it up.

“What a pretty
rock,” Grace said.  “It looks like a heart.”

“Throw it away,” I
told her.  “I don’t need it anymore.”  Even as the words left my mouth I felt a
need to take them back, but I didn’t.

“All right,” Grace
said hesitantly as she slid the rock into a pocket in her apron, presumably to
throw it out later.

After sliding into
the bath water, I felt the tension of the day slip away from me.  The scent of
a flower I had not smelled in years assailed my senses.

“Is there hyacinth
in the bath water?” I asked.

“Yes,” Grace
answered.  “Your mother has people make her bath oils and soaps from it.  It’s
her favorite flower.”

It had been my
favorite flower too as a child.  Perhaps my mother and I had more in common
than I realized.

After my bath,
Mary Anne toweled me off and helped me don a white silk robe.

“If you will
follow me, I can show you to your room,” Grace said.

 Grace led me down
the hallway and opened the door to a room for me.  She kept her gaze conspicuously
averted from its interior.  I assumed she either didn’t want to see Grant’s
nakedness for a second time that night or think about what we would be doing in
the room once she left.

“Mary Anne and I
are just down the hall if you need anything,” Grace said.

I walked into the
room and found Grant sitting in a chair by one of the windows.  His eyes were
closed like he had fallen asleep waiting for me.

“Wake up,” I said,
wondering if he would have the stamina I needed to finally get rid of the sexual
hunger I had tried to make Jace quench for me after my conversion.

Grant didn’t move
a muscle.  I stepped closer to him and pinched him hard on the cheek but his
head simply fell to the side.

“He won’t wake up
for at least a day,” I heard a woman say behind me.

I turned towards
the voice, ready to fight the intruder.  Her face was hidden in the shadows of
the closet she was lurking in.

“Who are you?” I
asked.

The woman took two
steps forward so the dim light from the nightstand by the bed could illuminate
her face.  I felt my heart begin to pump harder as I faced the one person I
hadn’t counted on ever meeting.

“I’m you,” my
future self said to me.  “And I’m here to make sure you don’t do something we’ll
regret.”

Chapter 19

I looked at my
future self and cringed inwardly.  She looked to be somewhere in her late
forties.  She was dressed in black jeans, ankle high boots and a black fitted
pea coat.

“You should leave
before I kill you,” I growled.  “You’ve made my life hell ever since you sent
Rose.”

Rose appeared out
of the darkness directly behind my future self.  She placed a hand on the other
me’s shoulder.

“Don’t worry,
Rose,” my future self said.  “She’s bluffing.”

Rose let her arm
drop back to her side.  I saw my chance and took it.  I leapt over the bed
between us, instantly wrapping my hands around the throat of the older me. 
Before I could react, I saw Rose and future me grasp each others hands.  My
room melted away instantly.

Sunlight filtered
through the trees like the light of heaven shining through the fingers of God. 
The sound of birds chirping filled the air and the scent of pine trees assailed
my senses bringing back memories of my past long buried.  I let go of my future
self’s throat stumbling away from her and Rose to take in the scene around me.

“Where are we?” I
demanded.

Future me was bent
over at the waist trying to catch her breath.  She held up a hand indicating
she needed me to wait a minute before she could answer my question. 

Rose placed a
gentle hand on future me’s back and asked, “Are you ok?”

Future me nodded
and stood back to her full height.

“I’m ok.  I just
forgot how strong she is.  I didn’t brace myself enough before she jumped me.”

“You say that like
you expected me to choke you.”

Future me let out
a harsh laugh.  “Of course I did, you idiot.  I’ve already been through all of
this once.  I know everything that will happen.”

Future me put a
hand to her throat and rubbed gently where two red hand outlines still marked
her.

“Where are we?” I
repeated.

“More like when
are we,” future me said.

“Then
when
are we?” I asked tersely.

“Turn around and
see for yourself.”

I did as she said
and found myself staring at the home I once shared with my father and mother. 
It was a small yellow clapboard house surrounded by a white painted front porch
with a swing and two rocking chairs.  Flower boxes hung from the railing overflowing
with colorful pansies.  I saw a small girl run out the front door with her arms
stretched out on either side of her pretending she could fly.

A woman wiping her
hands on a kitchen towel appeared in the doorway.

“Don’t go near the
road,” my mother called.  “Stay near the house.”

“Ok, Mommy,” the
child me replied, blowing air between her lips mimicking the sound of an
airplane.

My mother crossed
her arms in front of her and watched me play, all the while smiling.

“Beautiful isn’t
she?”

I looked to the
side of me and saw my future self’s yearning to be a part of the scene before
us.

“She isn’t our
mother,” I said.  “She never was.”

“Why are you so
stupid?”

“I’m not stupid. 
It’s the truth.”

“It’s the truth
Lucena wants you to believe.  Can’t you see she’s brainwashed you into thinking
she’s your real mother?”

“She is our real
mother.”

Future me growled
in frustration.  “No she isn’t!  Just because she gave us half our genes
doesn’t make her our mother.”  Future me pointed stringently towards the
house.  “That is our mother.  She’s the one who gave birth to us, fed us, took
care of us when we were sick, read us bedtime stories and even did her best to
make up fairytales when we asked her to.  That’s what a real mother does.  Our
mother is not that egotistical, vile woman who destroyed the world so she could
rule what was left of it.”

“She lied to us.”

“She did what she
had to do to protect us,” future me said.  “She was and will always be our
mother.”

I heard the child me
cry out and looked back to the scene from my past.  I remembered that day.  I
was five years old and tripped over my little red wagon while I pretended to
fly because I had my eyes closed.  I watched as my mother ran from the front
porch and down the steps to the little girl crying and holding her knee. 

“Let me see,” I
heard my mother say, forcing the younger me to move my hands away and examine
the scrape on my knee.  “It’s just a scratch, sweetie.”

My mother kissed
the tears on my cheeks away and picked me up in her arms to carry me back
inside the house.  I knew what happened after that.  She would wash the cut on
my knee, apply some Neosporin and secure a band aid over the wound.  Then she
would take me to my bed and hold me until I stopped crying

I placed a hand on
my chest absently massaging away a phantom pain.

“Can we go now?” I
asked.

My future self
took hold of my hand and the scene faded away only to be replaced by the laughter
of children.

We were standing
in a new stretch of woods where a gentle breeze rustled the colorful leaves on
the trees surrounding us, hiding us from view.  Far in the distance on top of a
hill, I could see a small boy and girl, no older than four years old, with
blonde hair chasing one another around in a circle.

“When are we now?”
I asked, presuming my future self had instructed Rose to take me to particular
points in my life.  “I don’t remember this.”

“That’s because it’s
your future, my past,” future me replied.

“So the sun does
come back,” I said, staring past the tree limbs to the patches of blue in the
sky.  “How does it happen?”

I continued to
stare at the sky waiting for an answer.  When I didn’t receive one, I looked at
future me and noticed her eyes were shimmering with unshed tears.

“Sacrifices were
made,” she said, turning her attention back to the children on the hill.

I had a feeling
she wasn’t going to elaborate any further.

“Are you going to
try to show me what I’ll be missing if I decide I don’t want your future?” I
asked.

“I’m showing you
what you have to fight for,” future me replied.

“I fight for my Queen.”

“Wow, did I really
sound that dumb?  ‘I fight for my Queen’,” future me mimicked like it was the
most ludicrous thing she had ever heard.  “There are better things and people
to fight for.  And three of them are standing on that hill right now.”

“Three?”

I returned my gaze
and saw that the children had indeed been joined by someone else:  Jace.

Jace was chasing
after them playfully threatening he was going to catch them both.  The boy was
faster than the girl and easily out ran Jace.  The girl was soon swooped up
into Jace’s arms but she didn’t seem to mind.  Her giggles filled the air with
an innocent joy I hadn’t heard in a very long time.

Not to be left
out, the boy ran back to Jace lifting his arms up.

“Daddy, pick me
up!  Pick me up!”

“Daddy’s hands
look full,” another me said to the little boy coming into view from somewhere
on the other side of the hill.  “But mine are empty.”

The other me
stretched her arms out to the little boy who jumped into my arms and hugged me
around the neck tightly.  The other me wrapped her arms around the boy and
kissed him lovingly on the cheek.  I saw her look into the woods where we stood
and smile.

“Those can’t be my
children,” I said feeling an unbridled anger.  “I can’t have children.”

“They are our
children.  You need to realize there’s more to motherhood than just being
genetically related.  In fact, that has very little to do with it in the long
run.”

I watched as Jace
held the little girl in one arm and placed his other arm around my shoulders as
we returned to some place on the other side of the hill.

“Why are you
showing me all this?  Is it supposed to change me?  Are you trying to awaken
whatever humanity you think I have left?”

The future me
sighed.  “No, I know this isn’t going to change you back.  You’ll have to fight
for that on your own.”

“Then what’s the
point?  Did you just want my company while you took a trip down memory lane?”

“You need to wake
up and realize Lucena Day is not your real mother just because she gave you
some DNA.  Emma Blackwell was our real mother.  Thankfully, you won’t stay a
harvester for very much longer, but you’ll make mistakes between now and then,
things which still haunt me to this day.  Just remember when you regain your
humanity that you weren’t entirely responsible for your actions. Try to not be
so hard on yourself this time around.”

“Everybody wants
me to change,” I said in disgust.  “But what you people don’t realize is that I
like the way I am.  I don’t want to change.”

“There will come a
time soon when you will have to make a choice.  I pray to God you make the
right one because I can’t afford to lose what I have in my present.  I won’t
lose it.”

“Can you take me
back home now or are you going to force me to watch some other heart felt
moment from your past?”

“We’ll take you
back now.  But remember what you’ve seen today.  Remember our real mother and
remember you can have a happy future if you’ll just let it happen.  And for
God’s sake open up your eyes and really see what’s going on around you.  She
hasn’t completely wiped away who you are.  I think you know that especially
after what you saw tonight.”