Awkwardness forgotten in the heat of the moment, Rowan held Astrin close, stroking his back and hair as Astrin’s body shook with the violence of the sobs. “You are not alone,” Rowan whispered. Astrin sighed shakily and raised his head to look at Rowan.
For a moment they were both very still, and then, holding his breath, Rowan freed the hair stuck to Astrin’s face and tucked it behind his ear. He used his fingers to wipe away the tears that were making Astrin’s eyes so ridiculously bright. Tearing his gaze away from the clear green orbs, Rowan traced the tracks of the tears down Astrin’s pale cheeks. With careful tenderness, Rowan stroked Astrin’s damp cheek and brushed his fingers across Astrin’s full lips, which parted at his touch.
Realizing he’d been staring, consuming Astrin’s face with his fingers and his eyes, Rowan let his hand fall and raised his face. Astrin’s sparkling green eyes contained a look of intense confusion. What the hell was going on here?
Astrin blinked and swallowed, breaking the spell. “I—I still hate you,” he murmured, then laid his head on Rowan’s chest, over his hammering heart.
Rowan froze as Astrin snuggled into him and sighed, draping his arm across Rowan’s waist. Rowan literally had no idea where to put his hands. In the end he laid one on Astrin’s shoulder and one on his arm. Astrin murmured something too low and too sleepy to hear. Within a very short time, Rowan could tell he was asleep.
Although Astrin’s head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around his waist felt curiously… right, Rowan could not find sleep. Astrin was so soft. His hair, where it brushed Rowan’s cheek, the line of his shoulder under Rowan’s hand, the breath that whispered against his chest, and—
Gods, those lips…. Shit! What the hell is going on here? Why am I thinking these things?
The rain was coming down in earnest now. The storm whipped up the wind and sent it hurtling against the car in hissing blasts, pounding on the roof and windows, rocking the structure with its fury. But it could not get in. Here they were, in their own little cave, safe and warm. Except Rowan didn’t feel safe. He didn’t feel safe at all.
S
OMEWHERE
AMIDST
the tumultuous feelings and violent weather, Rowan must have fallen asleep, because he woke to find sun streaming in through the windows, heating up the car to an uncomfortable degree. Rivulets of sweat ran down his sides, where the heat of Astrin’s body was still pressed against his.
He tried to shift gently without waking Astrin, but the slight movement precipitated a sleepy murmur, and he froze, unwilling to break the spell. He closed his eyes, breathing in the smell of lavender and musk, and shivered.
“Mmpfh.” Astrin yawned and snuggled closer, then went stiff in Rowan’s arms. Slowly he raised his head to stare at Rowan, who smiled.
“Good morning. Feeling better today?”
Astrin stared at him, his eyes confused and shocked. Then Rowan made the mistake of stroking his arm, and Astrin jerked away from him as if contact with his body burned. Astrin swallowed hard and licked his lips.
“I…. How…?”
“You were a bit out of it last night.”
“I—I’m sorry.”
“What are you sorry for? You didn’t do anything.”
“I um…. Yeah….”
Astrin seemed acutely embarrassed, and that made Rowan embarrassed too; he couldn’t wait to get out of the car.
“Pass my trousers and boots. I’ll make us some coffee. Do you feel up to breakfast? It’s only going to be bread and cold meats.”
“Um… yeah… maybe.”
Opening the door of the car was delicious. The rain had washed the world and made it new. There was a fresh smell in the air, and all the sights and sounds seemed clean and sharp. Birds sang in the trees, the river bubbled close by, and animals scurried in the underbrush. It was a good day.
Rowan took a deep breath of fresh air and stretched, the leather of his trousers and boots creaking.
“I’m just going to get some wood to make up the fire. I won’t be long.”
When he got back, Astrin was still sitting in the back of the car, his knees drawn up, the sleeping bag pulled around him. Ignoring him, Rowan set the fire and put a tin of water over it to boil. Movement from the car made him look up. Astrin was sitting on the lip, his naked legs dangling over the side, his toes drawing circles in the gravel. Rowan was not looking at them, of course.
“I’m sorry.”
“About last night? There’s no need to be.”
“No, about the way I’ve been acting. I’m still angry with you,” Astrin snapped, glowering at Rowan, then let his face fall into its previous contemplative expression. “I was being childish, not talking to you. That’s not going to achieve anything. I’m still angry and hurt about what you—all of you—did to me. It’s going to take a long time, I think, before I trust you.” He sighed, then continued with determination. “But we have a long way to go, and I think if you can get past your anger and hatred of me, the least I can do is try to get past mine. You’ve been nothing but good to me since we’ve been traveling, but I’ve been a pig. I’m sorry. Can we start again?”
Rowan nodded, gravely. “Of course we can, but you have to be honest. You have to rest and get strong, or you’ll never reach the end of the journey. You have to tell me the truth about how you feel.”
“How do I feel? I feel like crap. My chest hurts, my head hurts, I’m tired all the time, and I keep getting dizzy.” He pouted, and Rowan had to look away. “And now I think I’ve hurt my side too.”
“You have? Let me take a look.” Gently lifting Astrin’s shirt, Rowan hissed. “Shit. You did a nice job on that.”
“What?” Astrin asked, trying to turn his head to see.
“It must have been when you fell out of the car last night. You’ve got a really nasty bruise on your shoulder, going all the way down over your ribs. Stay still a minute.”
Rowan ran his hands over Astrin’s back and ribs, trying not to think of how soft and silky the skin felt. Although Astrin winced, it didn’t seem to hurt him too badly.
“I don’t think you’ve broken any ribs, but you’re going to have to be even more careful now. Never mind. I thought we’d stop somewhere for a hot lunch today, then spend the night in a hotel. There’s no real reason to slum it.”
“Sounds great. I could do with a shower.”
“So I could smell this morning.”
Astrin chuckled and wriggled his toes. “Will you help me get my trousers and boots on? It hurts to bend over.”
“Of course I will. If your ribs are too painful to sit up all day, we can leave the beds out and you can lie down.”
“Yeah… right.”
“We’ll see.”
In the end they left the beds out anyway, simply because they were too lazy to put them away. The windows of the car were blacked out, and no one could see in, so what was the point?
G
ETTING
TO
K
NOW
Y
OU
T
HEY
HAD
a pleasant morning traveling, mostly in silence. It wasn’t the awkward silence of the day before—at least not the same kind of awkwardness. Astrin rode with the window down, letting the breeze blow on his face. His hair streamed into the car, and Rowan breathed deeply the lavender perfume, sneaking an occasional glance at the relaxed and contented Raphael prince.
At midday they stopped in a charming village and dined on local cuisine. Rowan made his first use of the gift Melissa had slipped into his hand when they were leaving—the family credit card. At least they wouldn’t go short of money while in House Gabriel lands.
That night they checked into a hotel and had dinner together. They relaxed and for the first time opened up and really talked to each other. Astrin’s memories were beginning to return, so he told Rowan as much as he could remember of what it was like to grow up as a prince of House Raphael. Rowan did the same with regard to his own life. They found there were many similarities.
The only thing that marred Rowan’s enjoyment of the evening was that suddenly Astrin seemed shy about letting Rowan see any part of his body and went to great lengths to ensure he didn’t. It wasn’t something that should have surprised Rowan, but given Astrin’s previous lack of inhibition, it hurt him. He felt shut out and curiously bereft.
As they lay in their own beds in the darkness, Rowan listened to the sound of Astrin’s soft breathing and wondered….
T
HE
FOLLOWING
day played out in much the same way, except it was a good deal more cordial. Although both of them maintained a careful distance, they gradually became more relaxed in each other’s company. While it wouldn’t be quite correct to say they became friends, because Astrin in particular remained aloof, they became easy with each other.
They had dinner in a restaurant by a river, sitting on a balcony and watching the lights twinkle on the water. Astrin glowed in the moonlight, his eyes silvered by the reflection of light off the water. The strange, nervous feelings continued to assail Rowan, if anything, getting worse. He struggled with them as long as possible before drowning them out with wine. He griped at Astrin, was rude to everyone, and finally passed out cold on his bed.
The next morning they slept in. Rowan had recovered his spirits, and Astrin forgave him, especially when Rowan admitted to a blinding headache, which Astrin used to torment him. Even though their late rising caused Astrin to become concerned about time lost, they took a short time to bathe in the warm water of the indoor swimming pool with trunks they’d bought in the hotel shop. Rowan loved to swim, and Astrin, although limited by his condition, was playful and adept. The swim revitalized them both and gave them renewed vigor to face the day, which would be one of hard traveling.
However, when they got out of the water and into the shower, Rowan started to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He showered in his trunks and hid in a cubicle to dress. It wasn’t because he was embarrassed about Astrin seeing his body, but more because he was confused by the way he was feeling about seeing Astrin’s. There was no doubt about it; the boy was pretty all over.
When Rowan came out of the cubicle, fully dressed, Astrin was standing in the middle of the changing room, still stark naked. His eyes were wide, staring blankly at the wall. Rowan’s first thought was not
What’s wrong with him?
but
Damn, he’s beautiful
. To his credit it was followed closely by concern.
“Astrin? What’s wrong? Are you okay?” When there was no response, Rowan reached out hesitantly to touch his arm. There was still no response. “Astrin?” Rowan stood in front of him and looked into his eyes, which were completely blank. “Oh, hell. What am I supposed to do now?”
Astrin blinked, his eyes slowly focusing on Rowan. “Why am I naked?”
“Because we’ve just got out of the water and you haven’t dressed yet.”
“Oh… oh yes.” He looked dazed, then sat down suddenly.
“Are you all right?” Rowan was all concern now as he sat down next to him.
Astrin turned to face him and suddenly grinned.
“It’s coming back.”
“What’s coming back? Your memory?”
“Yes, that and… other things.”
“Other things?”
“When I spoke to my mother on the phone, she told me we had a connection, that I could speak with her directly. I didn’t understand, and I haven’t thought about it again… until now. She… she spoke to me.”
“Your mother spoke to you? Here?”
Astrin lit up with excitement. “Yes. It was… weird.”
“What did she say?”
Astrin sobered. “They’ve had a communication from Strebo Michael. They haven’t told anyone we’re gone, and House Michael wants to meet with us to discuss ‘the future.’”
“When?”
“Mother has managed to put them off for ten days… which means we have just about that much time to get there and get them out.”
Rowan frowned. “I was hoping we’d get some time at the estate. I wanted to show you around. We won’t have time for more than one night now.”
“When will we get there?”
“If we drive hard, we can be there by tonight.”
Their conversation was interrupted when the door burst open and a hotel attendant hurried into the changing room, glancing around with obvious distaste. When he saw the two princes, he became sickeningly obsequious.
“Your Royal Highness,” he said to Rowan, “you have a telephone call. You can take it in the manager’s office. Do forgive us… we had no idea who you were. We never dreamed it was
actually you.
”
“That was the point,” Rowan snapped. “Are you all right to get yourself dressed?” he asked Astrin, who nodded. “Meet me in the lobby when you’re done. I won’t be long.”
Rowan was led to a small office, where he was left alone with the telephone.
After a few minutes berating Rowan for running off on such a foolhardy mission, Ragnor relayed the same information Queen Agnes had given to Astrin. He was pleased to hear Astrin had recovered his ability to speak telepathically with his mother.
“It is good his abilities are returning.”
“Abilities? There are more? Oh great, Mr. Have It All has even more.”
“I thought you’d got over your ridiculous animosity.”
“I have… mostly. He makes it hard to like him.”
“I doubt that. I would consider it to be more likely the other way around. This is a crucial time for him, Rowan. The return of his memories and abilities will put a strain on him that he may not be strong enough to withstand. You are to take care of him at all costs.”
“So you keep saying. I’m not a bloody babysitter.”
“I don’t care what you think or what you want. You will care for that boy to your best ability, and that is my last word.”
“Well, it’s not my last word. I’m not a child. Soon I will officially take the crown, and it’s about time I was treated accordingly. I’m doing my very best to be friends with Astrin, and by and large I’m succeeding, but don’t tell me how to treat him, and how to feel about him.