“Have you thought about what this is going to mean when you get back?”
Both boys’ faces fell. “We know we’re going to have to be separated for a while,” Astrin said with a frown. “We have to go back to our own Houses and take control of the situation in the South. We have to move swiftly before Strebo can recover his position. It’s likely House Uriel will abandon Strebo, so we must capitalize on the situation while we can.” Astrin paused and bit his lip, as if reluctant to speak the words that followed.
“After that… much will depend on our Councils. We could talk about merging our governments, but I can’t see either the Council or the people supporting that.” He sighed. “I suppose we’re just going to have to get used to living apart and getting together when we can.”
“I’m sure you’ll work something out,” Neive said gently. “After all… your father and uncle are the leaders of your Houses, and you are princes. You are the four most powerful men in all of the West and North. If anyone can make this work, you can.”
Rowan and Astrin exchanged glances laced with sadness, and Astrin put his plate of food down on the table and drifted away. Neive took the opportunity to have a quiet word with Rowan.
“How is he?”
“He’s been fine. It’s incredible, really. I was so sure he was going to die—so sure I was going to lose him. You saw him, the way he was. And then… when it came down to it, it didn’t seem so hard. It all made sense and kind of… flowed. And suddenly he was well again. You’ve seen for yourself. He’s perfectly fine. He’s had more energy than I have. It’s weird how he went from being so sick to being so well.”
“Not weird at all, my dear. It was how it was meant to be. He owes you his life… but in many ways that debt has already been repaid, hasn’t it?”
“What do you mean?”
“When he put his hand in yours, when he gave you his trust, he filled a hole in your soul that’s been draining you all your life. I saw it in you as clear as day. There was a darkness about you as well. In its own way, it was as deep as the one that almost consumed Astrin.”
Rowan looked down and bit his lip. “It almost consumed me too. If it hadn’t been for my cousin, Ragnor, who’s a healer, my mind would have been fractured and broken.”
“But you don’t feel broken now, do you?”
Rowan thought for a moment, and when he looked up his eyes were shining. “No. No I don’t. When I stopped hating Astrin, there
was
a hole in me, a hole the hatred had once filled. I even realized it at one point, but I didn’t know what it meant or what would fill the hole. Strange, but I haven’t even thought about it for the longest time, and now that I do… it’s not there anymore. It’s not even filled back up, it’s just gone.”
Neive shook her head fondly. “You healed each other. That’s the way it was always supposed to be. I knew it from the first moment I laid eyes on you, even before I knew who you were. Don’t worry, Rowan. Things will work out for you. You will find a way to be together. Destiny would not have worked this hard to bind you together if you were then destined to drift apart. It will be all right. And now I have news.”
“News?”
“Tomorrow you will be going home.”
“Home?”
“It hasn’t been easy, but the arrangements have been made: the day after tomorrow at noon a plane will take off from a runway hidden in the desert. It will be flying shielded and undetectable. By sunset on the day after tomorrow you’ll be on Maratebo. After that, you can make your own arrangements. Go speak to Astrin. You’ll be leaving this evening. It’s a long trek through the desert.”
“I… hell, this is sudden. We’ve been waiting so long that I’d almost forgotten. I’ve become used to this place.” Rowan could barely take in the fact that soon he’d be home, sleeping in his own bed, eating at his own table, walking in the gardens… alone.
“We’ve grown used to you too, my darling.” Neive patted the side of his face in a motherly fashion. “It won’t be the same around here without the two of you. Go find him and give him the news.
You
may have got used to it here, but he’s been chomping at the bit to get out since the moment he arrived. I’ll finalize the details with Charles and Hersten.”
Impulsively, Rowan hugged Neive and grinned. “Thank you, Neive, for everything.”
Neive rubbed his back fondly. “You’re a sweet boy, but you should try to get back into the mindset of a prince now, honey. You can’t have a crown prince hugging people all over the place.”
“I don’t know, I’ve kind of grown used to it. Maybe I’ll start a new trend.”
“Be careful. Some people are slow to change.”
“Don’t I know it! I know I have to be careful. I wouldn’t want to unwittingly lead someone to commit treason.”
“That’s my boy. Turn on the brain and think a little about what you’re doing.”
“Oh, I’m thinking. Trust me, I’m thinking.”
Astrin had disappeared, but Rowan knew exactly where he was. Hell, there weren’t that many places he could be. With a heavy heart he climbed the stairs.
There was no one else in the bedroom. Astrin was lying on one of the beds with his arms behind his head and his ankles crossed. He was staring unblinkingly at the ceiling, his face grave and his eyes sparkling, as if tears were not too far away.
“Guess what?”
Astrin didn’t move and his voice was flat when he spoke. “What?”
“We’re going home.”
Astrin turned his head to look at him. “Home?”
“We’re driving out into the desert this evening, and then they’re flying us to Maratebo tomorrow. Within twenty-four hours we’ll be home.”
“Oh.” Astrin turned his head away again.
“Aren’t you pleased? You’ve wanted to get out of here since we got here.”
“I know.” Astrin heaved a heavy sigh. Then he turned over onto his side and stared up at Rowan. “Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be ordinary? To be just the same as everyone else? No duties, no responsibilities?”
“There are always duties and responsibilities.”
“You know what I mean. When we were traveling—when we were just mercenaries, nobodies—I didn’t even think about it at the time, because I was so scared, but it was… we were so free.” He sighed again. “We were together, and I wasted it.”
Rowan sat down, and Astrin curled himself around him like a cat. Rowan smiled as he stroked Astrin’s hair.
“There’ll be plenty more times.”
“No there won’t, not like that. We’re princes again now, with everything that goes with it. Wherever we go, whatever we do, there will be protocols and precedents, rules and regulations. We’ll never be this free again.”
“Then maybe we should make a pact that for a couple of weeks every year, we walk away from it all, meet up, and just be mercenaries again.”
“Could we do that?” Astrin brightened momentarily.
“Why not? We’ll be in charge after all. We’re the ones who make the rules.”
“True.” The brightness died. “But that will be for two weeks. What about all the other weeks in between? I’ll be in the West and you’ll be in the North. We’ll be hundreds of miles away from each other. We’ll never see each other. How can this work?”
“That’s what we have advisors and governments for—they can work it out.”
“What if they don’t agree to us being together?”
“What if they don’t? What choice do they have? Look… your father and Uncle Charles have accepted it without question. They’ve never said one word to discourage us, to tell us we can’t be together. If there had been any doubt about it, they’d have warned us. Neive’s right. We’re the four most powerful men in the whole of the North and West. Then there are your mother and Melissa, the two most powerful women. With all of us working together… who is there in all the world who can say no to us?”
Astrin considered. “Maybe you’re right but—”
Rowan leaned down and kissed him. “No ‘buts,’ my love. If death couldn’t part us, no one else will.”
At last Astrin smiled. “You’re right.”
“If you’re going to be with me, there’s one thing you’re going to have to learn and live with: I’m
always
right.”
Astrin grinned and pulled him down into an embrace.
T
HE
R
OAD
H
OME
A
FTER
ONE
last, hearty meal when conversation was overlaid with excitement and anticipation, Neive had the four of them go upstairs and change into dark, nondescript clothes. She then led them, one by one, through the shadows into a dark, nearby alley.
As they waited for Charles and Hersten, Astrin leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. From the smile on his face and soft sighs of pleasure, Rowan could tell how happy he was at finally being out in the fresh air again. Although it was stiflingly hot with a breathtaking dry heat, the air was fragrant with the smells of cooking, spices, and incense. It was good to be outdoors.
Watching Astrin, seeing the look of sheer pleasure and relief on Astrin’s face, Rowan could not help but touch him. Placing his hands on the wall, on either side of Astrin’s head, he leaned in and kissed him. Astrin opened his eyes, and Rowan shivered at the expression in his eyes.
Lifting his hands, Astrin buried them in Rowan’s hair and drew his head in to deepen the kiss. At the same time he pushed himself away from the wall, molding his body to Rowan’s. Taking advantage of the gap created between Astrin and the wall, Rowan slipped his arm around Astrin’s waist and pulled him harder against him.
T
HEY
WERE
still embracing, still kissing heatedly when Neive arrived with Charles. The two adults exchanged amused glances, but then Neive’s face grew serious.
“What’s in the future for them?” she asked softly.
“You’re the seer, Lady Brianna.”
Neive’s eyes widened. “How long have you known?”
“From the beginning. Do you think I don’t know the identities of my own spies… or my own family? Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret. I understand why you feel you can no longer live at court. You were always too wild, too spirited for such a formal and restricted life. But know that if you ever feel ready to return, there will always be a place for you. You will be welcome in the Heart of the North as long as my nephew or I have influence there.”
“Thank you. That means a lot. You also understand why I have a vested interest in making sure those two young people can be together. Rules, tradition, and convention tore me from the one I loved. I had to watch him shrivel and die in the web your court wove around him. I understand why, and I don’t blame you, but I will never forget. That’s why I will never set foot within the confines of the Heart of the North again.
“I beg you not to doom them to the same fate. The entire free world owes them their gratitude for what they have done here. If they had not rescued you, no matter what we achieved, it would have at best postponed—not prevented—the war.”
“True. And we both appreciate the parts Rowan and Astrin played in that. Have no fear, Brianna, Hersten and I have discussed the situation, and there is no question of them being parted. We are not entirely sure of how we can achieve it yet, but it will be done. Hersten has spoken of it to Queen Agnes, and through her, I have consulted with Melissa. We have their unquestioned support. Indeed, they were most vocal on the subject.”
Neive seemed unconvinced but nodded. “Then I think you should talk to them about it, reassure them. I know for Astrin, at least, it’s a pressing issue. He’s grieving for the closeness they shared on their journey, the freedom they knew when they were simple mercenaries and no one knew their faces. They’re both realistic enough to know it’s impossible for that situation to continue, but they are very young, Charles. Astrin’s not yet eighteen years old. He’s just a boy. He’s been through a terrible experience and needs reassurance. He needs to know he won’t be parted from Rowan. I’m afraid that if he doesn’t receive comfort, fear will eat away at him and ultimately damage him.” She shook her head and frowned before continuing.
“Their destinies are combined. They have been from the day they met, and they continue far into the future, perhaps for eternity. I’ve seen no end for them, but I have seen….” She paused, looking grim.
“What? What have you seen?” Charles was startled by the look on her face.
“I have seen two paths before them. One of them is calm and bright. It leads to many great achievements and long years of peace and happiness. The other leads to despair, mental decay, and physical decline.
“If you find a way for them to be together—
truly
together, not some pale facsimile hedged with compromise and sacrifice—they will live long and fulfilled lives, full of happiness and success. If they are forced apart it will bring disaster for both of them, as well as for your Houses. One thing you must know: if they fail, particularly if Astrin fails, both Houses will crumble and the world will fall into darkness.”
Charles was shocked to his core and uncharacteristically lost for words. “That sounds… serious.”
“I can’t stress it enough, Charles. My visions are rarely clear. That’s why this shook me so much, and why I’m thrusting it on you.” Neive paused as if wondering if she should proceed. Taking a breath, she pressed on. “When Astrin was healed, I was concerned there was still a miasma of darkness around him. At first I thought the poison still lingered, but when I pondered on it, the vision came. The shadow of death still lingers over Astrin, and if Rowan loses him because they are forced apart, he will never forgive either of you, and he will bring both Houses down. You have seen for yourself what happens when he harbors rage. Don’t let it be directed at you.”
Charles was shaken. He had never doubted they would find a way. It had warmed his heart to see Rowan and Astrin so happy together, and after what had happened to Astrin, both he and Hersten had been in full agreement to do what they could to support the relationship. But even so… they’d both tacitly accepted that compromise, sacrifice, and periods—sometimes long periods—of separation were inevitable. Perhaps it was time to stop accepting.