Hot Damn (9 page)

This was a shitty way to leave her but it had to be done. He’d said goodbye to too many people in his life to want to go through it again. It was better this way. Why prolong the agony a minute longer?

Nash quietly walked to the bedroom door and stopped to look back, one last time. An ache curled through him. He was a man, damn it, but he wanted to cry like a little baby. Before he could give in to the urge, he left the room, retrieved his boots and walked out of the house.

****

Scarlet heard the roar of his truck in the drive and knew he was leaving. Sorrow grabbed her by the throat. At this moment, it felt like someone had died. She had died, or at least a part of her had.

He was a bigger than life man who’d broken her heart into tiny pieces. And she’d let him do it, damn it. She’d thrown herself into this affair with both eyes open knowing full well she treaded dangerous ground.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, she looked around the shadowy room. It was almost dawn and pretty soon this little room would look completely different. It would seem raw and harsh when compared to the way it looked and felt now. Nash’s scent and hers were ripe in the air. The bedclothes were mussed and tangled. It all seemed beautiful and soft, a gentle blue haze over everything. Would she ever be able to walk into her own bedroom again without thinking of what had happened between them?

A sob rose up to choke her and she gasped for air. Pain, fierce and raw, tore through her chest as the tears started to fall. Scarlet lay down in the spot where Nash had held her, feeling the sheets still warm from his body. Clasping his pillow to her face, she cried and died a thousand deaths.

****

By Monday morning, the sobbing had finally stopped but now all she felt was numb. It had taken every bit of energy she possessed to dress for work and drive the short distance to the bank. First National was on Main Street and no more than five minutes from her house.

It was an old building, bigger than most in Sweetridge, and occupied a convenient corner where parking was plentiful. Next to the bank was a small café and further down the quaint little block was Patti-Pie Murphy’s business. Normally they had lunch together during the week but Scarlet wasn’t sure could endure an hour of chit chat with her friend. She sure as shootin’ didn’t want to talk about Nash or what had happened with Cole the other night.

Nash was a part of her past now. It had to be that way. He’d said nothing about staying here in Sweetridge and he sure as hell hadn’t said he loved her. Maybe all she’d been was a few nights of fun, a party girl with whom he could kill some time.

Please, please, don’t let that be true!

Scarlet pulled into a slot in front of the bank and blindly reached for her purse. Pulling out a tissue, she peeked into the rear view mirror and tried to catch the tears before they fell and completely ruined her makeup. God, she was a basket case. If she could just make it through today, she might be all right.

Gathering up the tote she used as a briefcase, she stepped from the car and went into the familiar building. High heels clicking across the tiled floor, she waved a greeting to the three tellers and continued to her office. She’d just poured a cup of coffee and sat behind her desk when Scott Templeton, the bank president walked in and took a chair across from her.

A handsome man in his early forties, he gave her a thorough once over and frowned. “Must’ve been a hell of a vacation, Scarlet. You look beat.”

Scarlet groaned. “I’m sure I do. Let’s just put it this way, I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.” She knew very well just why she hadn’t gotten much sleep, and it made her feel worse. Scott didn’t need to know every detail of her life, though, so she forced a smile. “Guess I’m ready to get back into things.”

“Um. Heard there was some trouble over at the Hot Damn the other night.”

“Please tell me you weren’t there.”

Scott laughed. “I wouldn’t have to step foot in the place to know what went on. Hell, Scarlet, you know how small towns operate. Cole showed up at work with a busted nose this morning. News like that gets around fast.”

“Bet everybody in town’s feeling sorry for him, too. Bastard.”

Her boss leaned forward a bit in his chair and shook his head. “Actually everybody’s pretty much on your side. Several people heard him say some things that weren’t very nice and there was no excuse for it. The whole town knows what he pulled last year. You’re not the bad guy in this deal and neither is the man you were with. What was his name?”

“Nash,” she whispered. “Nash Logan.”

He gave her a steady look and sighed. “So that’s how it is.”

“How what is? What are you talking about?”

“You fell hard for him, didn’t you? Everybody around here has been talking about him for days. The folks at the Dixie Pig said they’d never met a more polite cowboy and then the waitresses over at the Waffle House said the same thing. You know how Sweetridge is, honey. Whole town knew he was spending time with you. Let’s face it, Scarlet, you’re way too picky for the guys around here. We all know it.”

“Is that what people really think of me? They think I’m some kind of prima donna who doesn’t want to get involved? That I think I’m too good or something? That’s just crazy.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you intimidate the guys around here.”

Scarlet snorted. “That’s not the first time I’ve heard that lately.”

“So what’s up with this Nash fella? Did you get something started there?”

She shook her head. “No, Scott, just had some fun with a nice guy. That’s all there is to it.”

Scott’s voice softened. “Are you sure about that?”

Scarlet avoided his steady gaze and took a sip of her coffee. Her hands trembled so she gripped the cup tighter. Scott smiled kindly.

“Well, I’m glad you’re back. We missed you last week. While you were gone, we got the Cactus Creek Ranch back. All official.”

Cactus White, an older rancher, had taken out a home equity loan on his small ranch several years ago. He’d passed away recently and the ranch had reverted to the bank in payment for the loan. “So it’s going on the market soon?”

“Yeah.” Scott went to her office door and stopped. “Why don’t you run out there tomorrow? We have an inventory of everything but someone needs to do a physical check. You up for it? You look kind of pale. Maybe the fresh air will do you good.”

Scarlet sighed. “Back to the real world, I guess. Okay I’ll run out there tomorrow.”

A trip out into the boonies might just do her some good. She wasn’t the kind of woman to wallow in grief but it was there, alive and strong inside her. Being around people and pretending that everything was all right just wasn’t in her right now.

Yeah, she’d head out to the old ranch tomorrow and if she wanted to cry some more, at least she wouldn’t have an audience. 

Scarlet stopped into the diner and picked up a couple of sandwiches, chips, and Styrofoam cups of iced tea and headed over to Cow Patti’s Custom Boots and Hats.

Glancing across the street to the town square, she saw a number of others having lunch in the big gazebo that sat smack in the middle of the picturesque spot. Several pigeons sat atop a monument to the town’s gallant war dead and a giant Texas flag flapped in the afternoon breeze.

Typical day in Sweetridge.

The rodeo was over and the tourists had gone home, leaving the residents in peace for a week and then the whole thing would start all over.

When she approached Patti-Pie’s shop, she smiled at the whimsical black and white cow pattern displayed on the sign over her door. The lettering featured a rope design in hot pink.

Not very masculine for a boot maker shop, but then there wasn’t a masculine-like bone in her friend’s body. For a woman who was blonde, sweet and bubbly, she had a very male career and Scarlet was proud of her success. She was a true artist who’d been trained by a loving father, now blissfully retired. Cowboys came from all over the state for a custom boot-fitting and she’d recently expanded, sending out beautiful cowboy boots all over the world.

No, she wasn’t rich yet but she kept hoping.

Scarlet stopped in front of the door, struggling with the knob and her armload of food when a familiar voice called out.

“Hey, let me help you.” Bobby Lee came running up, red-faced and out of breath to open the door for her.

“Thanks, Bobby Lee. You headed for lunch? Want to join Patti and me?”

He shuffled his feet and tucked his hands in his pockets. “Ah, no, that’s nice but I’m meeting some guys over at the café.”

She smiled. “Well, okay, thanks.” Scarlet started to go in when his voice stopped her.

“I’m sorry about what happened the other night.”

Groaning, she rolled her eyes. “Was the whole damn town there?”

“Darn near. Anyway for what it’s worth, Cole’s a jackass and he got what was coming to him. Everybody thinks so. I only wish I’d done it.”

It was the second time today she’d heard that and it touched her more than she could say. God, she loved these sweet people.

****

“Cole’s moving to Mossy Creek with that awful woman after they’re married,” Patti-Pie said later as she bit into her BLT. “Good riddance, I said. Dang big mouth man. Mean. He’s mean and heartless and a…um…a cheater!”

Scarlet laughed at Patti’s attempt at saying something bad about anyone and poured the contents of a blue packet of sweetener into her tea. She gave it a stir. “Yeah, and I love you, too.”

There was a heavy oak table near the plate glass windows of Cow Patti’s and the two women were seated there for lunch. It was a place where customers could sit and pore over boot designs and leather samples from exotic ostrich to sturdy cowhide. Sunlight streamed through the windows filling the room with color and light, spilling over the old hardwood floors. The place smelled of leather and Scarlet knew there were huge rolls of the stuff in every color and type in the back room where Patti plied her craft.

“I think he cares about you, Scarlet.”

Scarlet stilled and gave her a look. “You mean Nash?”

“Of course, I mean Nash. You should see the way he looks at you, sugar. The man’s got it bad.”

“If he’s got it so bad, then why’d he leave?”

Patti’s eyes filled with sympathy and she dug through the white café sack and passed Scarlet a napkin. When she just stared at it, Patti sighed gustily and reached across the table to dab at her cheeks.

Crap! Tears!

Scarlet sniffled and took the napkin from her friend. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to do this. I’ve been emotional lately.”

“Ah, sweetie, did you tell him how you feel about him?”

“Are you kidding? I’m not about to set myself up for rejection again. Not after what happened with Cole.”

“Now see? There you go,” Patti said, fiercely. “I’m so sick of this pessimistic bullshit from you and Lyssa.”

Anger rose, quick and sharp. “Well, we can’t all be pushovers like you!”

Patti jerked as if she’d been slapped. Her big, blue eyes narrowed. “You take that back! I mean it. Thank God there are optimistic people in this world. I believe. I have hope. What do you have, Scarlet? An empty bed. That’s what!”

Stunned by Patti’s words, Scarlet forced herself to close her mouth. Where had all that anger and emotion come from? From both of them. She reached across the table and took Patti’s hand. “I’m sorry I’m being a bitch, hon. I’m hurt and angry and you were an easy target. You’re just so sweet. Forgive me?”

Patti sniffed and took a sip of her tea. “Okay. I forgive you. You know I love you. You’re my best friend and all I want is for you to have everything you’ve ever wanted.”

“I have everything I need right here in Sweetridge.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, I do.” It was the biggest lie she’d ever told.

Chapter Eight

Off in the distance Nash saw the town of Sweetridge as he drove over a hill and rounded the bend. He saw the big welcome sign right at the city limit and firmed his grip on the steering wheel.

Howdy Partner! Welcome to Sweetridge, Texas. Home of the World Famous Sweetridge Rodeo.

Nash didn’t know about the
world famous
part but it was a hell of a place as far as he was concerned. He’d arrived at the Rocking R Ranch early Sunday afternoon needing to talk to Mama Rose. She was a no-nonsense woman and it was easy for a man to unburden himself with a woman like that.

The visit had proved to be a turning point in his life.

Tension rode him hard as he drove through the familiar little town. In the distance, he saw the silver water tower that featured a bucking bronco painted in blue. Above and below the horse were the words Home of the Broncos. Up ahead was Main Street. Small town Texas spread out before him like a feast for a starving man.

His heart thumped as anxiety wound through his check. What if Scarlet wouldn’t talk to him after the way he’d sneaked out on her? Hell, he wouldn’t blame her. He’d been a coward.

Even Mama Rose had scolded him about the way he’d just left her hanging. Yeah, he’d spilled his guts and complained about needing to find his ranch, his home. She’d had a word or ten to say about his whining ass.

Looking around, he saw familiar people. People he’d met over the past few days. From a street corner, he recognized the butcher from the Dixie Pig. The man had trimmed his t-bone steaks to perfection the night of his dinner with Scarlet.

The man smiled and lifted a hand and Nash returned the gesture, as his throat tightened. Though he’d only been here for a short while, the place had grown on him. No, it didn’t have a lot to offer in the way of material things, but then, he’d never been a man who’d gotten into that stuff. It had taken a day or two of thinking to make him realize that all he’d ever wanted was a place to call home, a simple thing really, and it had been staring him in the face all along.

Idiot!

Not many people about today, he realized as he pulled up in front of the bank. He looked for Scarlet’s little car and frowned. Maybe she’d parked around back.

Nash grabbed his hat and stared at the building. Nerves danced along his spine but he was through with this shit. He was damn well going to take what he wanted and he wanted Scarlet Ballew.

He stepped from the cab of his truck and headed toward the bank when he heard laughter coming from door of the café. He saw Patti-Pie Murphy’s eyes widen, then narrow. Her hands fisted at her side. Hearty male laughter from her companion stopped instantly and Nash saw Bobby Lee, the fellow he’d met who worked at the feed and seed. Nice guy.

Bobby Lee stepped forward and extended his hand. “Hey there, Nash. Surprised to see you back in town. Heard you was headed to Houston.”

Nash shook hands but stilled when Patti moved forward. Hell, marched was more like it. She looked like a five feet nothing package of T-N-T ready to combust.

“You’d better be coming back to town for the right reason, Nash Logan,” she said as she stared up at him. A blast of wind caught her hair and whipped it around her face.

“Coming for Scarlet.”

She blew out a gust of breath and unclenched her fists. “She’s a good woman and you’ve got her all torn up inside. She doesn’t need that in her life, you got me?”

“I got you, ma’am.”

Patti pointed her finger at him and he fought to keep from grinning. She was on a roll. “If you break her heart, Nash Logan, I’ll hunt you down. Do you hear me? I’ll hunt you down like an animal and I’ll…um…well… I’ll skin you, that’s what!”

Bobby Lee burst out laughing. “Whooee, honey. Them’s fightin’ words. I’m plumb impressed.”

Nash looked at Scarlet’s friend for a second or two then walked up to her. Taking her shoulders in his hands, he stared into her face then pressed a short, smacking kiss to her forehead. “Scarlet’s lucky to have a friend like you.”

Patti’s flushed red. “That’s what I keep telling her.”

He nodded toward the bank. “Is she working today?”

“Uh-huh, but she’s not there. After lunch, she headed out to the Cactus Creek Ranch for an inventory.”

“Where is it? I need to find her.”

Bobby Lee gave him directions and soon Nash was driving out of town. He wound through old farm to market roads, crossed cattle guards and looked out over country dotted with farms, ranches and oil fields. It was a rough land but pretty in its way.

He was roughly five miles from town when he spotted the sign he’d been looking for. A sandstone archway featuring the name of the ranch stretched across a paved road and Nash turned.

Drawing in a deep breath, he raked his fingers through his hair and hoped like hell Scarlet wouldn’t turn tail and run the minute she saw him. He wouldn’t blame her.

Nash topped a rise in the road and caught his breath at the land that spread out before him like a faraway dream he’d tucked away in his heart. The place was perfect. Cattle grazed contentedly as far as the eye could see. Four or five horses, pretty good looking stock, lolled around in the corral and the stables were nice. Smaller than what a horseman needed but that could change. Improvements were expected by any rancher.

She was taking inventory? He recalled Patti’s words but they’d finally sunk it. Curiosity grew apace with his need to see Scarlet as he found her car parked near the sprawling ranch house. Nice house, he thought, big. Big enough for a family.

She was in there somewhere or out on the grounds. Nash stepped out of the truck and pulled on his battered old cowboy hat. Clenching his teeth, fighting nerves, he headed toward the front door. Surprisingly it was ajar so he stepped inside. He didn’t care what the big old house looked like. He headed through it, a man on a mission, looking into rooms, listening for sounds. Disappointment flashed quick and hot when he finally made it to the enormous kitchen to find it empty.

Nash stopped at the backdoor and looked into the yard. Scarlet was sitting in an old tire swing staring out over the countryside. His heart broke at the sight of her.

Today her hair was pulled back in a ponytail making her look like a very young girl. His pulse sped. A giant oak covered her in shade but every now and then a bit of sun would peek through dappling her hair with brightness.

Nash swallowed hard.

He opened his mouth to speak. Didn’t want to scare the hell out of her but she stood and picked up a notebook lying on the ground. She clutched it against her and started to walk away when he stepped outside.

“Scarlet.”

He heard her gasp, saw her go still before she spun around to face him. Shock showed in the widening of her eyes. Her face went white. “Nash!”

“Hope I didn’t scare you,” he said, coming down the back porch steps, walking to her. Finally, he stopped beneath the shade of that giant tree and stared her straight in the eye. “I came back.” He mentally rolled his eyes. Yeah, duh.

“I can see that. But why?”

Nash took the hat from his head and nervously plowed his fingers through his hair. “Figured I owed you an apology.”

Scarlet was quiet for a second or two, then one black brow arched. “For what? Leaving in the wee hours of the morning without saying goodbye after several hours of hot, steamy sex?”

“Um, yeah. That’s about it.”

“Save it,” she snapped. “I don’t want any damn apology from you, Nash, so just hop back into that big black truck of yours and head on down the road.”

Anger whipped hot and strong through him. No, he wasn’t mad at Scarlet, but he was damn sure mad at himself. He’d blown it. She didn’t want anything to do with him. He slammed his hat on his head and stomped off toward the front of the house. She was right. What kind of man would do such a thing?

A coward. That’s who!

Nash started for his truck when he suddenly stopped cold in his tracks. He was blowing it. It was time for him to fight for what he wanted most in the world and that would never happen if he left now.

He turned around and headed back, his long stride eating up the distance. Nash rounded the corner and slammed to a stop.

Scarlet was crying. He could hear her now. Great tearing sobs shook her as she leaned against that old tree. Nash reached up and rubbed the heel of his hand over his heart. It pounded furiously as he went to her.

Her body shook with sobs so Nash settled his hands on her shoulders until she want still and turned her head slightly. “Go away,” she whispered. “I don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

“Ah, honey, you’re breakin’ my heart.” Nash pulled her against him, wrapped her up in his arms and sighed against her hair. “How about I make you a promise here and now?”

“What promise?” she whispered. He felt her breath warm and soft through the fabric of his t-shirt and his arms tightened.

“How about I promise never to leave you again? That is, unless, you want me to go.” Breathlessly he waited for her answer.

“No.”

“No?” Nash drew back and looked down at her. His back teeth clenched as nerves bounced around in his body. “What do you mean?”

Scarlet sucked in a breath and looked up at him. She was so pretty, he wanted to kiss her and never stop. Reaching up, she dashed the tears from her cheeks. “I don’t want you to go, Nash. Thing is, do you want to stay?”

“I’m staying put. Right here, darlin’.”

She shook her head. “You have to tell me why.”

“Because this is home. I didn’t know it when I first came into town. I’d been looking for so long.” Nash stroked his thumb over her bottom lip. “Then I met you.”

Scarlet leaned back against the tree and looked at him. Her eyes were filled with emotion, sparkling. Nash swallowed hard, knowing she was finally listening and he was finally talking. “I left without saying goodbye because, honey, I just couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to say the words. It hurt too much.”

Nash moved to her and leaned in. He rubbed his lips against hers, breathing her in, dying for her. “I went back to the Rocking R Ranch, had a little talk with Mama Rose.”

She went still. “What did she say?”

“She gave me a good talking to. That’s what she did.”

“Good for her.”

“I complained about looking for a ranch to buy and having the money to afford it. I talked about you. Talked about you quite a bit and I told her that it made me sick to leave you. I told her it hurt. Damn it, I told her it hurt a lot.”

Scarlet’s expression went soft. “Is that right?”

“Mama’s a smart woman, you know. She straight-up told me to wake up and smell the coffee. Said she figured I’d already found my home but I was too dumb to realize it.”

“Well now.”

Nash looked her square in the eye and thought he’d drown in the emotion swimming in her eyes. “You’re my home, darlin’. Maybe I’ve known it since the minute I saw you saunter up to me at the Hot Damn Saloon. You fill this empty space I have right here.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “I want to stay here in Sweetridge if you’ll have me, Scarlet Ballew.”

“Oh yes. Yes, yes.” Scarlet’s whispered words rolled over him. Her arms went around his body as she held him close. “I love you, Nash. I know it’s dumb and it’s crazy, but I feel I’ve known you forever.”

“Me too. Same. I’m crazy about you, sweetheart.” They had so many things to say, to talk about. He didn’t know where to start.

“Still looking for a ranch?”

“Yeah.”

“How about this place?”

He looked out over the land then at Scarlet. She wore a tiny smile. “The bank got this place back a few days ago, Nash. It’s for sale. Good land, decent house and buildings. I just happen to know the loan officer at the bank—although she might have to pass this off to someone else. Conflict of interest and all that.”

“Conflict of interest, huh?” He grinned and saw her answering smile bloom wider. “Why don’t you show me around later?”

“Later? Why not now, cowboy? All you’ve talked about since I met you was finding your dream.”

Nash reached out to Scarlet and simply reeled her in. He kissed her lips, drank her sigh. Need burst through him along with happiness and all the other good things. “I’ve found my dream, darlin’, and its right here in my arms. I’m in love with you. I want to stay with you and love you every night and then I want to take you dancing at the Hot Damn just so I can hear you laugh. Then, I want to bring you home and make love to you until you beg me to stop.”

Scarlet’s hands cupped his face and she stared deep into his eyes. Her smile was sunshine bright, thrilling and warm. To him she represented home and love. She always would. “Then let’s go to the house, honey, get you moved in and we’ll get this party started.”

“I love you, Scarlet.”

“Yeah, Nash. Me, too.”

Nash held her tight. She felt so good, so right. That hollow, yearning place in his heart suddenly filled close to bursting. He knew this feeling wasn’t about land or houses or cattle and horses. It was all about love, the promise of happiness, and the woman he held tightly in his arms.