Hot Finish (19 page)

Then he frowned. “School? What are you going to school for?”

“I applied to law school.” Suzanne stuck her chin up and waited for him to laugh at her.

He just stared blankly at her. “Law school? Why do you want to go to law school?”

“So I can be a lawyer. It’s what I always wanted to be.”

“It is?” He looked incredulous, his hand pausing in the act of popping his beer cap off. “I didn’t know that. But okay.”

“Okay?” As if she needed his permission?

“I mean, that’s cool. If that’s what you want, you should go for it. I think you’d be great at it.”

His voice was more distracted than insincere, so she would just take it at face value. She couldn’t expect cart-wheels for her law school plans right now in the middle of all the other news she’d just dropped on him. “Thanks.”

“Speaking of lawyers, I guess I should call ours and cancel our court date.”

Suzanne had totally forgotten about their court date since she’d been a little busy having tons of condom-free sex with Ryder, planning Nikki’s wedding, and forming a placenta. They were due in court in a week, right after the wedding.

“I admit the timing is bad, but why should we cancel it?”

Hope bloomed in her heart that there, right then, in her terra cotta-colored kitchen he would say he wanted to be married to her still. That love conquered all and they could work it all out and be happy, together, as a family.

The need, the desire, bubbled up inside her so fast she was shocked to realize how much she wanted it. That was all she needed to hear and then she could throw off all her old worries and insecurities and look forward to the future.

“Because if we’re legally married we might as well stay that way. It looks bad otherwise. It will cause a lot of gossip, and the thing is I really don’t want my child born under those circumstances. Just easier to cancel the court date until we figure all this out, don’t you think?” Ryder took a sip of his beer.

That was so far off of what Suzanne had been wishing for, she couldn’t believe her heart had managed to bridge that gap so quickly. A sharp sense of betrayal smacked her and she felt her hands start to shake, she was so angry. Angry at him, for being so cold and unromantic and incapable of really loving her. Angry at herself, for never learning that in the end she needed to take what she got and be satisfied with it.

At least now she wouldn’t be alone like she’d always assumed. She’d have her baby. That was more than enough, and later, when she wasn’t so furious and disappointed and hurt, yet again, she’d be grateful to him for giving her that.

But right now, she needed him out of her line of vision before she chucked her water glass at him. “Get out,” she told him, tears choking her.

He set the beer bottle down on the counter with a clank. “What the hell?
Why?
”

“Just go before I freak out even more than I already am.” She had about sixty seconds before she lost it totally.

“What happened to communicating? Talking things through?” Ryder looked pissed and astonished.

Now maybe he’d understand how she felt. “I’ll take a rain check.”

In a fit that made her jump, Ryder threw the bottle cap at her refrigerator door where it pinged off it and landed on the floor, spinning across the tile. “Goddammit, Suzanne.”

Then throwing his hands up in the air, he stomped out, her front door slamming shut behind him.

Suzanne waited for the tears to fall but they seemed to have evaporated.

Just as well.

She knew that fairy tales were fiction and that happily ever after didn’t exist for her.

TY
stood next to Elec as they both watched Ryder out on the dance floor doing the sprinkler and wearing some woman’s bra on his head like a do-rag.

“Okay, we have to do something, this is embarrassing. And God knows someone will take a picture and we’ll see it on that Tuesday chick’s blog tomorrow.” Even though they were in the corner, leaning on the bar, Ty still had to yell a little to be heard over the pounding dance music. Taking a pull on his beer for fortification, he tried to assess the best way to enter the throng of scantily dressed women gyrating on the dance floor.

Didn’t these girls know it was December? They were dressed like it was June in Key West, with tiny skirts and cleavage-baring tank tops. Probably the liquor and the dancing were keeping them warm. Not to mention that several of them seemed to be downright hot for Ryder, which was unnerving Ty. He didn’t think that Ryder had the sense to say no at the moment.

“I know. I can’t believe how much rum he drank. It was like one minute he was just sipping a drink and the next the bottle was mysteriously empty. He’s going to have a hell of a hangover tomorrow.”

“He’s going to wake up with a pounding head, cotton mouth, and a naked twenty-something whose name he can’t remember wrapped around him.” Ty shuddered. “God, I’m glad I’m not single anymore. That would have been me a year ago, and now I can’t imagine waking up with anyone but Imogen.”

“I hear ya. I love being married.” Elec used his beer bottle to point. “My brother, on the other hand, seems just fine single.”

Evan was out there, too, doing some kind of grinding dance with a cute brunette. “He did plan this bachelor party for Jonas, so I guess he’s entitled to enjoy it.”

“I was impressed with the limo so we don’t have to worry about driving. Evan’s not usually that organized,” Elec said.

“He told me your sister did everything for him.”

Elec laughed. “Oh, I bet that thrilled Eve. Where is Jonas, by the way?”

“He’s with his friend whose name I can never remember playing one of those gambling machines at the other end of the bar.”

“At least he has the sense to stay off the dance floor.” Elec set down his beer. “I think it’s time to rescue Ryder from himself. He’s on the floor now doing the worm.”

“Oh, my God.” Ty abandoned his own beer and shook his head at the sight of his friend making a total ass out of himself. Imogen had told him that Suzanne and Ryder had been having a rough time of it since Vegas, but that was no excuse for rolling around on a dirty booze-stained floor on your gut.

As they maneuvered through the crowd, Ty could have sworn someone grabbed his ass. He turned and stared down a girl who couldn’t have been much more than eighteen. The girl just giggled.

“I’m sorry, I think I accidentally brushed against you,” he said.

“No, I grabbed your ass.”

Well, that was disturbing. She wasn’t even going to deny it. All his mother’s dire warnings about bold and loose girls rose up in his mind and he started to think maybe there’d been some truth in that.

“Let’s make out,” she added.

“Go home and watch cartoons,” Ty told her.

Elec shoved him forward. “Don’t even make eye contact. I feel like a hunk of raw meat with the lions all circling.”

Good point. Ty reached Ryder, who was back up off the floor, thank God. He didn’t even want to contemplate what would happen if he had to bend over to haul Ryder up.

“Hey, guys, wassup?” Ryder slapped an arm around Ty and almost fell over.

“We’re heading out, it’s one. Time to go home, dancing queen.”

“But I’m having fun! I don’t want to go.” Ryder lifted his drink and gave some kind of party yell that had the girls around him all squealing and cheering.

“Nah, it’s time to go.”

“Evan said we’re going to a strip club. He wants to see Jonas squirm.”

That was something Ty had no interest in seeing. “Let’s talk about it in the limo. Come on.”

“Alright, alright.” Ryder turned to the pack around him. “Good night, ladies. It’s been real.” He started to follow Ty, then stopped. “Oh, whatsyourname. Here’s your bra back. I’m not sure why you gifted me with it in the first place, but I liked it.”

The woman giggled as Ryder took it off his head, grabbing her arms and shoving them through the holes so that she was loosely wearing her bra on top of her tank.

Ty was losing patience, so he tapped Ryder’s arm. “Let’s go.”

“What’s your problem? You’re a real drag tonight.”

“Yep. A drag, that’s me.”

It took both of them to get Ryder shoved into the limo, and when Elec went to tell Jonas they were taking Ryder home, Ty climbed in next to his friend and assessed Ryder. “Man, what’s going on with you? You don’t normally drink like this.”

Ryder was trying to find his mouth with his plastic cup and gave up after a few tries. “Just having fun, helping Jonas celebrate. Marriage. Three cheers for that.” Ryder raised his cup and sloshed rum over the side of the cup.

Maybe if he questioned Ryder while he was drunk, he’d get the true story, so Ty said, “What the hell happened with you and Suzanne?”

“I don’t know.” Ryder shrugged. “She hates me. I love her and she hates me.”

Drama alert. “She doesn’t hate you.”

“Yes, she does. I’m good enough to fuck, but that’s it, man. Good for nothing else, just a quick lay.”

It just got better and better. Ty shifted on the seat, wishing he could be doing anything else other than having this awkward conversation. “That’s not true and you know it. Suzanne has been in love with you for years.”

“Then why won’t she be with me?” Ryder slumped forward and stared into his cup. “We’re having a baby, did I tell you that? We’re having a baby and she still won’t be with me.”

“Suzanne’s pregnant?” That explained why Imogen was dancing around the subject of Ryder and Suzanne with him. She must not have Suz’s permission to tell anyone at this point. Talk about a hot mess. Jesus.

“Yep.” Ryder tried to take a sip, again unsuccessfully. “First time we did it and she was on the pill. Do I have super sperm or what?”

He wasn’t going to talk about Ryder’s sperm. “I guess that was a shocker.”

“Yeah, but I was happy, man, I was so happy. I mean, a baby.” He lifted his arm to indicate holding a baby. “That’s like just awesome. A baby with Suz, the only woman I’ve ever loved. And she hates me.”

Where the hell was a lifeline when you needed one? Ty glanced out the window, but there was no sign of Elec. “Did you tell her you love her? That you want to be with her?”

“Yes.” Ryder’s sullen answer slurred. “I even asked her to marry me.”

“She said no?”

“She told me to get out.”

“That sounds like an extreme reaction. How did you ask her?” Ty shot a nervous look at the limo driver, hoping he was far enough away that he wasn’t hearing this conversation.

“I said I guess we should cancel the divorce court date.”

Ty blinked. “That was your proposal? Dude. Look, I’m not exactly Mr. Romance. I mean, God only knows how I even managed to get Imogen to agree to marry me, but even I know when you propose to a woman you actually have to say, ‘I love you, will you marry me?’ ”

“Well, I meant that.”

“But did you say it?”

“I don’t know.” Ryder wedged his cup between his knees and flopped back against the seat. “I’m miserable, McCordle. I think I’m dying.” He hit his chest. “Right here. I’m dead.”

Oh, Lord. “Just close your eyes. It’s time to sleep.”

Elec opened the door and climbed in. “We’re all set. Limo’s coming back here for the other guys after it drops us off. How is he?” He gestured to Ryder.

“A mess.”

Elec eyed Ryder cautiously. “I hope he doesn’t throw up.”

Ryder was mumbling to himself incoherently, his eyes closed. Ty leaned over and grabbed the drink from between his knees and dumped it out in the parking lot. “You and me both.”

Evan popped his head into the open door. “I can’t believe you losers are leaving.”

“Yeah, well, someone has to take Captain Morgan here home.”

“Let this be a cautionary tale,” Evan said.

“Against rum? Yeah, I’ll agree with that.”

“Against women. Nothing but trouble.”

“Thanks for that, we’ll keep it in mind when we’re having sex every night and you’re not,” Elec said. “Catch you later.” He put his boot in his brother’s gut and shoved.

Evan stumbled back, laughing. “Be safe, brother.”

Elec yanked the door closed. “I don’t think we should leave Ryder alone at home. He can sleep on our couch. If he gets sick, Tamara will hear him. She has that freakish maternal ability to wake up when anyone has a fever or the potential to puke.”

“Sounds like a plan. I owe Tammy a big thank-you.” Ty sighed. “I think I’m too old for this bachelor party crap.”

“We’ll be planning yours soon enough.”

That was so not appealing, Ty was almost scared. “Let’s just go fishing and call it good.”

“Done.”

CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN

SUZANNE
wanted to cram hot needles in her ears so she didn’t have to listen to Nikki’s high-pitched laugh anymore. Slumped over the table at the male revue Nikki had chosen for her bachelorette party, Suzanne glanced at her watch and wondered if she left if Nikki would even notice. With all that male muscle gyrating in front of her, Nikki was appropriately distracted.

Had she ever been that young? Suzanne watched Nikki leaping around, her bride sash shimmering in the disco lights, her fake veil slipping. While Suzanne had known how to have a good time, she’d never been as carefree as Nikki, that’s for sure. She’d always had a hard row to hoe, whereas Nikki had never faced a challenge in her life. So while it was understandable, it wasn’t any less annoying.

Why was it the pretty little blonde, born upper middle class with every single advantage in life except for brains, got to marry a man who loved her and be happy with even more money? Not that Suzanne wanted to be Nikki, she kind of liked not being a moron, but all the same, why was it that some women just seemed to come up golden time and time again when it came to relationships?

Suzanne sipped her Coke and reminded herself that she was just feeling exceptionally bitter at the moment and that it would pass. So Nikki got to be Cinderella . . . so what?

She didn’t want glass shoes anyway. Those suckers had to be hell to dance in.

“I’m not into these shows,” Tammy said.

“I don’t know.” Imogen pushed her glasses up as she closely studied the dancers. “I find it rather fascinating. People watching at its finest.”

“I can appreciate a good naked man chest myself, usually. But I feel like rat poop.” Suzanne forced herself to sit up straight. “I think I need to go home. Morning sickness is more like all-damn-day sickness.”

“I’m sorry, it will pass,” Tammy said. “And in a few days this wedding will be over and done with and you can relax.”

Hah. Relaxation was nowhere in Suzanne’s immediate future that she could tell. She was worried about money, about having another miscarriage, about her law school application. And Ryder. She worried an awful lot about Ryder and how they were going to raise a baby together when she was totally in love with him and couldn’t be with him.

“I can’t wait to see Nikki’s skinny butt going down that aisle,” Suzanne said. “I just might cry when it’s all said and done. And now, I’m going home.”

“If you’re leaving, I’m leaving, too,” Tammy said.

“Yeah, I’ll head out as well. I can only take so much visual stimulation before it becomes overwhelming.”

They gathered their purses and coats and headed toward the door, Suzanne waving to Nikki. Tammy was checking her phone, and when she looked up from it she frowned at Suzanne.

“Elec says Ryder is drinking a lot at the bachelor party. He’s worried about him.”

Suzanne ignored the squeeze her heart gave. “It’s a bachelor party, of course he’s drinking.” Probably hitting on women, too, finding his next weekend date to the Wynn.

“Elec says he’s not handling your break-up well.”

“With all due respect to Elec, how the hell does he know?” Suzanne winced as the cold winter wind hit her in the face when Imogen pushed the door open. “And I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay, fine. Just ignore the problem indefinitely.”

“I love you, Tammy, but don’t piss me off.”

“You called me out when you didn’t agree with my choices when I was dating Geoffrey. And when I broke things off with Elec. So I have the right to call you out when I think you’re making a mistake. And not talking to Ryder is a mistake.”

They stared each other down in the parking lot, Tammy’s eyes full of sympathy. Suzanne felt the tears starting to form. Damn hormones. “Maybe it’s a mistake. But the thing is, I cannot deal with it right now. I can’t handle the drama or the hurt or any of it. I’m just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to ignore that my heart is broken, okay? So just give me a little while to get a handle on things and accept that Ryder doesn’t love me. Then I’ll talk to him.”

“Sweetheart, that man does so love you. It’s there in the way he looks at you, like he thinks you’re the most amazing woman who has ever walked the earth.” Tammy squeezed her hand. “I would bet on my children’s health that he loves you.”

Yep, here were the tears. “Do not bet Pete and Hunter’s health on that, honey. If Ryder loved me he would want to be married to me, not offer out of obligation.”

Three hours later Suzanne was woken up from a restless sleep by her phone ringing. Before she could scramble around and find it, the ringing stopped. Squinting her left eye, Suzanne picked up the phone and glared at the screen. It was two in the morning and it had been Ryder who had called. The chime rang, indicating he’d left a voice mail.

Sitting up, Suzanne pressed the buttons to listen to the voice mail. At first she couldn’t understand anything Ryder was saying, given that he was mumbling and his words were slurred. It seemed Elec had been telling the truth about Ryder’s hitting the bottle a little too hard.

Rubbing her eyes, she sighed. “Oh, Ryder, we’re a disaster, aren’t we?”

And then he said it. Warbled and drunk, but heartfelt and unmistakable. “I love you, Suz. I want to be married to you. That’s all I want—for you to be my wife. All I’ve ever wanted.”

With trembling fingers, Suzanne saved the message and held the phone in her hand for a second, heart thumping. Then she dialed Ryder back, wanting to hear him say it straight to her, drunk or not. The phone rang and rang but he didn’t pick up.

Of course not. With a sigh, Suzanne threw her phone on the pillow next to her and closed her eyes.

If there was one good thing to say about the soul-sucking exhaustion of a first trimester of pregnancy, it was that it would pull her into sleep even when her mind was whirling and her heart was aching.

RYDER
woke up with a start, a sudden weight on his back and a chattering voice slicing through his pounding head.

Oh. My. God. He wanted to die. His eyes were paste, his mouth was thick, and every muscle in his body ached like he’d been racked. As some living creature bounced on his back, his stomach gave an anxious flip, bile rising in his throat.

“Uncle Ryder, what are you doing here?” Hunter asked.

The sad thing was, he had no freaking idea what he was doing there. The last thing he remembered was dancing in a way he should never be allowed to do. Then . . . nothing.

Apparently his friends had deemed him too drunk to leave alone.

“Morning, Hunter,” he managed, his voice hoarse.

“Baby girl, you need to get off of Ryder, he has a headache,” Elec said, coming into the room, two mugs of coffee in his hands.

“How do you know he has a headache?” Hunter asked, but she did obey her stepfather and climbed off him, much to Ryder’s relief.

“Just look at his face, you can tell.”

Hunter’s head popped up in front of him, making Ryder dizzy and causing a sharp pain behind his eyes.

“You’re right, Elec, he looks like cat crap,” Hunter declared.

Great. “Thanks, kid.”

“Watch your language, young lady,” Elec said. “Now go on in and eat your breakfast. Your mama’s made eggs and pancakes.”

The thought of runny eggs made Ryder’s stomach flip. “Oh, God, I’m going to hurl,” he muttered, rolling onto his back and putting his hand on his head.

“Please don’t. You’ll turn me off my breakfast.” Elec stuck a mug in his face. “Drink some coffee, you’ll feel better.”

Ryder forced himself to sit up and take the coffee. After a sip he did feel better and he started to worry. “Did I do anything stupid last night?”

“Besides drinking your weight in rum and dancing with a parade of hot women? No.”

Shit. Ryder groaned. “Damn, that was so stupid to drink that much. Where’s my wallet and my phone?”

He felt in his pocket, pulled out his wallet, and checked to make sure his credit card was still in there. Alcohol made it quite possible he could have opened a tab and left it at the bar without closing it. Everything was there, and his phone was lying on the floor next to the couch. He sighed in relief. There was nothing worse than losing your cell phone. Okay, there were a lot of things that were way worse, like the current state of his life, but it still was damn annoying.

A thought occurred to him. Worse than losing his phone would have been using it to drunk dial or text. He hit the screen to light it up and groaned when he saw he’d missed a call from Suzanne at two in the morning. Of all the nights for her to call him. He’d been drunk as a skunk and hadn’t even heard the phone ring. She hadn’t left a voice mail.

Then Ryder thought about it. Would Suzanne really have called him that late? He’d sent her texts since their argument trying to talk to her and she had given him nothing more than clipped responses. Last night had been Nikki’s bachelorette party and Suzanne couldn’t drink, so odds were if she had called that late, it was because she had needed to vent or because he had called her first. Or sent a stupid text.

Ryder checked his dialed calls and sure enough, he’d called Suzanne two minutes before she’d called him. Great. “Hey, Elec, were you with me when I called Suzanne? Do you, uh, happen to know what I might have said to her?”

Hopefully it was nothing too obnoxious.

“No, I don’t recall you using your phone at all. You pretty much passed out in the limo, then we got you in here and dropped you on the couch.”

Beautiful. “Thanks for hauling my sorry ass around. According to my phone, I called Suz at 2:02 A.M. and I don’t remember doing it. God, I’m such a moron.”

“You told me about the baby, you know.”

“I did? Of course I did.” Ryder sighed. “I am happy about the baby, you know, really happy. But why can’t Suzanne and I figure out how to be together?”

“I don’t know, Ryder.” Elec perched on the edge of his chair, coffee mug in his hands. “But I do know that the two of you love each other and you’re having a baby, so I think you should do your best to figure it out.”

Hunter came running back into the room in her pit stop pajamas, her hair flying behind her. “Put your coffee down!” she demanded of Elec.

“Please.”

“Please!”

Elec complied and she jumped on his lap, immediately flinging herself backward while he held her so that she was dangling upside down. The thought of being upside down made Ryder want to die immediately and swiftly. “Isn’t she going to toss her pancakes?” he asked. She must have shoveled them in at warp speed.

Elec shrugged. “Nah. She has an iron stomach. Don’t you, baby girl? You have a gut lined with metal?” He blew a raspberry on her stomach, making her laugh hysterically.

Tammy came wandering in wearing sweatpants and a thermal shirt. “How are you feeling, Ryder?”

“Like you’d expect,” he told her. “And no better than I deserve. Thanks for putting me up, I appreciate it.”

“No problem.”

Pete came in, too, and it suddenly occurred to Ryder that it was Thursday and they shouldn’t all be home. “Don’t you all have school?” he asked Pete.

“It’s the first day of Christmas break,” Pete told him.

“I’ve been off for a week already,” Tammy said. “My college students won’t be back until January sixteenth, thank goodness.”

Well, this wasn’t exactly going to be a merry Christmas. “I can’t believe Strickland’s wedding is Saturday. I’ll be glad to be done with that business.”

“No kidding.” Elec nodded.

“How was the bachelorette party?” Ryder asked Tammy.

“We left at eleven, does that tell you anything?”

“Suz leave with you?”

“Yes.”

Ryder winced. He’d called her at two. She had to have been asleep. Had he left a voice mail? He had no clue.

He wasn’t sure if he should call her and apologize or not. But there was one thing he was sure of. As he watched Tammy and Elec in their cozy family room with their two pj-wearing, bed-head kids, he wanted the same life for himself.

He wanted that with Suzanne so bad the thought of not having it was driving him to pound rum and make an ass out of himself on the dance floor.

What a disaster.

THERE
was no doubting that Suzanne was pregnant because when Nikki’s mother opened the door and Suzanne saw Nikki for the first time in her Cinderella wedding gown, she actually teared up, completely touched by how sweet Nikki looked. The bride was smiling, and for a second Suzanne forgot all the tantrums and all the pouting when Nikki waved to her excitedly, her eyes sparkling and her complexion glowing.

“Suzanne! Thank you, thank you, everything is perfect.” She enveloped Suzanne in a zero-body-contact hug so she wouldn’t wreck her hair or makeup.

“You’re welcome. You look beautiful. Jonas is a lucky man.” Maybe that was an exaggeration, but it seemed the appropriate thing to say, and hell, Jonas seemed to think he was lucky, so maybe it was the truth. “So the other bridesmaids know to meet us at the hotel at four, right? Maybe I should text all of them.”

“It will be fine,” Nikki assured her, touching the skirt of her gown over and over, like she couldn’t get enough of the voluminous fabric.

Hearing Nikki be zen did Suzanne proud. “The carriage will meet us two blocks from the hotel, so you won’t be freezing your buns off. We’ll just drive up to the hotel for effect. The limo is here to take us now, so whenever you’re ready, we can go.”

Nikki looked at herself in the mirror one last time while Suzanne conferred with Nikki’s mother and gathered up the bouquet, Nikki’s bag of makeup and supplies, and her winter white cape and gloves.

“I know everyone thought I was crazy for getting married so quickly,” Nikki said. “And everyone is always saying that marriage is really hard and takes a lot of work.”

Suzanne froze with a garment bag over her arm and her purse slapping her in the thigh. She looked at Nikki in the mirror, wondering where this monologue was coming from. “Yeah?” she said, because it seemed like there was a point Nikki hadn’t quite gotten around to yet.

“But the thing is, Suzanne, when you know that you love someone, those things don’t matter. You have to push all the everyday things and the outside world away, and just enjoy knowing that this is the man who has the chest your head is meant to lie on.”