“Maybe it’s a way to keep people away? You didn’t even respond to my talk about a real date. A couple slices of pizza one night doesn’t count.” Kyler finished his coffee and put the mug in the sink. “Which I guess is an answer.”
“Wait, you have a problem with my job. I don’t want a jealous boyfriend who can’t handle it. I get hit on as a paramedic, too. If you are that insecure, I can’t spend all my time stroking your ego. I don’t rush into things,” Cody said.
Glad he had dressed fully, Kyler fished his keys from his pocket and headed for the door. “Don’t worry about it. I appreciate the charity help and have a good day.”
“I said wait. I don’t get the real problem. I’m working. I’m not seeing another guy.” Cody followed Kyler out onto the porch.
Kyler understood that, but life wasn’t just about making money. He wanted love, not just great sex. Gay bars had never worked out. Online dating made him have nightmares of serial killers. Foolishly, Kyler had started to hope that this one might be the right guy for him.
Slamming the car door shut once he was safely inside, Kyler pushed away the emotions. He was stupid for believing Cody didn’t want to strip forever. He probably liked it. A major ego stroke every night. He might hook up with customers for all Kyler knew.
As he drove home, ignoring his vibrating phone, Kyler tried to convince himself that Cody wasn’t into him at all. Deep down he didn’t believe Cody was a slut, but if that were the case, he told himself, Cody could have been a bartender instead of a stripper.
Screwing the sick day, Kyler sped home to get showered and changed in time. He needed to be busy today, or he’d go insane. Great sex and a hot guy were fine. Cody hadn’t ever said yes to a real date.
Maybe he needed to step back from the dating hamster wheel and focus on his job and himself. He had friends and family. He had been meaning to rebuild an old muscle car. It sounded like the perfect summer project to keep him distracted.
* * * *
That night, Cody was pulled from the schedule to cover the bar. Part of him didn’t mind at all, but a little bit of him wanted to be strutting his stuff, just in case Kyler walked in.
“Damn bartenders. That’s the second one to quit in a month.” Avery muttered to himself.
“I don’t mind helping, but if you’re pulling me because of Kyler, you don’t have to.” Cody set an order of drinks on a tray for a waiter.
Avery frowned. “Kyler? You’re the best sub bartender we have. Most of those guys don’t know how to mix drinks. You learn fast, and you don’t let the drunks walk out. You are good at the cab switch. What’s the problem?”
“No problem.” Cody shrugged.
Avery snapped a bar towel at Cody’s back. “You brought it up. What’s wrong? He was here watching you both nights. Jealous?”
Cody knew he was in a safe place and let his guard down. “What the fuck does he have to be jealous about? He knew what I did. He wanted the charity thing, and I bent over backward to make it happen. I worked it. I gave my tips. I work two jobs. He works and volunteers his life away. Neither of us have a lot of free time.”
“So more sex, less dating. That’s what I thought.” Avery nodded.
“We talk a lot, though. I mean in the pod, he didn’t want a dance. And I went over there to see the shelter during some car wash. I got the tour, too. I can’t afford to shell out a ton of money, but I tried.” Cody wanted to throw something, but it was all very breakable.
“So no actual dates?” Avery asked.
Cody sighed. “I don’t exactly have a suit-and-tie wardrobe or the money for something fancy. We did pizza one night, but I guess that didn’t count for him.”
Avery pointed Cody to garnish bins. “Go chop up some more lime wedges. Did he ask you for a real date? He who asks, pays.”
Glad for the odd release of slicing fruit, Cody refilled the limes and lemons. “He asked today, but it was so backhanded. Like he expected me to call in sick to spend the day with him. Or to not work here because I’d been at it all weekend.”
“You do need time off.” Avery methodically filled another round of drink orders and sent a waiter back to the tables.
“I want more than a crappy apartment and a junkie car. It takes time.” Cody had fallen into the trap of college and partying a bit. He had left the loans as a problem for later until his parents couldn’t help him with dorm fees or books anymore. Reality hit him then, and he needed fast money to stop the problem from growing. He also had to drop out of school.
Avery took the knife and cutting board from Cody and slid them into the bin to be washed later. “You need to enjoy life, too. I get the work ethic, and it’s great. But what’s the point if you don’t have any fun? Or miss out on a good guy?”
“You’re single and happy.” Cody could see his future as a paramedic with bartender shifts on the side. Avery had never dated anyone in the years Cody had worked there. Maybe he kept it secret, or maybe it was Ken, but Cody wasn’t going to bring that up.
“No law against being single if it makes you happy. If you love working as much as you do, fine. Some men get off on the rush of their work. But if it’s bugging you, maybe you like Kyler more than you think. It’s okay to want more,” Avery said.
Cody did want more, but was Kyler the one? “If he spends all his time on a charity, why should I quit here?”
“Would you want your boyfriend to be up there naked for all the gay men of Vegas and tourists to see?” Avery asked.
Cody looked up at the trio of naked men. All Male Nudes was what the big purple neon sign said on the side of the building. “It’s just looking.”
“Sure. Some men don’t care. Some men do. Kyler sounds like he does.” Avery stared at the stage.
Cody didn’t know what to say, but Avery was distracted. Following Avery’s gaze, Cody saw it. Ken was there strutting his stuff. The guy was in excellent shape for his age. When the routine ended and the performers switched, Avery seemed to shake free from the hypnosis.
“I don’t know what to do. I don’t know Kyler that well yet. It’s not like we’ve been friends for years or something.” Cody wanted to chat with Avery.
Avery smiled. “That’s good. Spend some time with him. Do you need to scale back here? Change to a bartender instead of a dancer? We’ve got an opening. Maybe Kyler needs to limit his volunteer time as well. Make time to be together. Once you’re too far into the relationship or friendship, it can be hard to change without upsetting the dynamic.”
“Maybe I should just let him be for a bit. Calm down.” Cody had to admit a night alone in his own bed might help him. Cuddling with Kyler had been great, but he had wanted more. Every time he was near the guy, he wanted sex and intimacy. No wonder Kyler thought he was just a horny stripper. If he missed Kyler tonight, Cody at least would know how he felt.
“Sex isn’t any good then?” Avery asked.
Cody laughed. “It’s better than good. It’s amazing. Damn. I want more than that but…”
“But maybe he doesn’t really know it yet.” Avery gave Cody that wise look. “I’d give it a day or two so you’re both calm, then lay it all out there. What you want. What he wants. Don’t lie or pull punches.”
“Scary,” Cody said.
“Yeah, well, love is. And you’re knee-deep in it.” Avery smiled.
Cody shook his head. “Too fast. Too weird.”
“That’s love. Comes out of nowhere. Makes no sense. That one person you can’t get over or get out of your head. Your heart and head won’t agree, but you’ll have to give in to what you want, or you’ll never be happy.” Avery turned to a waiter and got busy with another order.
A different waiter approached Cody, and he went to work filling drinks. Cody wanted to ask if Avery had ever had that sort of love. If he had let it go. Somehow, he knew that Avery would never answer those questions. He would never share his pain or mistakes the way he shared his wisdom.
Cody loaded up the tray, and the waiter walked off with a smile. Wiping off the bar, Cody looked over at Avery. There was no point talking about how he had tried to call and text Kyler after he had left. None of it mattered now. He did not want to end up alone because of pride or fear. If Kyler wasn’t the right one, Cody would find out. But if they didn’t try, he’d always wonder.
Chapter Seven
The week had been busy, and Kyler had not been able to deal with the crazy situation with Cody, even though the guy had called and left messages. As much as Kyler missed Cody, the time apart gave Kyler back his balance. His feelings were not going away, and finally, he’d found the perfect excuse to meet up with Cody without bringing up a real date. Kyler knew he wasn’t handling things well, necessarily, but lying wouldn’t make it better.
Of course, when Kyler arrived, Cody was up on stage in nothing but a smile. Kyler headed for the bar to wait out the show.
“Wasn’t sure I’d see you here again,” Avery said.
Kyler smiled. “I guess Cody is pissed.”
“I don’t know about that. But you two have some talking to do.” Avery dispensed a diet soda for Kyler.
“Thanks. I guess so. I just don’t know if it’s worth fighting over. If it’s real. Can I ask you something?” Kyler was feeling brave. What did he have to lose?
“No promise I’ll answer.” Avery always found something behind the bar to keep his hands busy.
“In your experience, does love happen fast?”
“Too fast sometimes. Yeah,” Avery said.
Kyler shrugged. “How do you know if it’s really real?”
“It’s always real if you feel it. Whether it works or not, that’s the question. It only works if both people try, and if they choose each other.”
“You make it sound easy.” Kyler liked that definition.
“No, it’s not easy. Even if you do your best, you’re only half of the equation. You can’t force someone to love you and compromise. It’s not always a problem where you can meet in the middle. Some things you give on all the way, and some things he’ll have to give up. That’s reality. Are you happier with him or without him?” Avery casually nodded toward the stage. “Only you can answer it.”
Kyler saw Cody, now clad in worn jeans, headed over and smiled. “Thanks, Avery. So Ken wasn’t worth it?”
The subtle stiffening of Avery’s posture told Kyler he’d hit the very wrong button.
“Sorry. I just guessed. I’ll go talk to Cody.” Kyler escaped the bar quickly, and Cody looked surprised.
“Is there somewhere we can talk?” Kyler asked.
“Sure. Let’s go in the storage room.” Cody opened a door.
The room had boxes of liquor stacked high.
“Thanks. I think I pissed off Avery asking about Ken.” Kyler frowned.
Cody shook his head. “I warned you.”
“I know. He was giving me good advice, though. He regrets something he lost.” Kyler sighed. “Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t call you back. I was dealing with stuff at work. Lots of overtime.”
“Not the shelter?” Cody asked.
“Not working there this week. I did get a call from Harry about you. He wanted to know if you would give a talk about safe sex to the teens. Since you are in the medical profession and gay, he was hoping the kids would listen better. If you can get some condom donations and maybe lube?” Kyler realized he sounded like he was only in it for more stuff. “I’m sorry. I really just meant to ask for your help, not stuff. Harry has a big sponsor who can contribute that stuff.”
“You do want me to do the talk, though?” Cody asked.
“Harry does. I should have him call you, but he thinks we’re dating. I think it’d be great if it was you. For the guys, at least. The girls probably won’t listen.” Kyler grinned. He wanted to keep Cody talking all day.
It felt so good just to be close to him again. To smell his skin and feel his heat. They weren’t that close physically, but the stock room was chilled.
“I can get a lesbian nurse to come and give the talk for the women. That’s not a big deal. Maybe a male nurse might be better than a paramedic?” Cody offered.
Kyler wasn’t going to push. “Whichever you think is best. Preferably younger people so the kids relate.”
“So Harry got his big contributor?” Cody asked.
“Yes, it came through this week, and he’s off and running. Going to hire a full-time nurse, counselor, and a few more staff members. Which means I can cut back on my time there. Maybe one evening a week. Your medical connections will help speed things up for the sex-ed talk, I’m sure.” Kyler moved in closer.
“Yeah, if you call the hospital public relations departments, it’s a long waiting list. Don’t they get health or sex-ed in school?” Cody asked.
Kyler nodded. “Whatever the state teaches, sure, but that’s not always inclusive of gay sex. The kids are afraid to ask questions. The shelter will work around your schedule and the nurse’s. Whenever you can make it.”
“Sounds good.” Cody looked into Kyler’s eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t catch you this week. I couldn’t get out of work. I’d committed to the slots.”
Kyler nodded. “I know. You’ve got goals. Great ones. I admire that.”
“But life isn’t just about work or volunteering nonstop. If you can dial back, I think I can, too.” Cody smiled.
“No more stripping?” Kyler asked hopefully. He wanted to be able to take Cody home to meet his family and be a nice, middle-class couple without glitter and stripping. Cody deserved better than that. If Kyler could see it, why couldn’t Cody?
Cody frowned. “It bugs you that much?”
Kyler felt like a jealous jerk. “I know you’re not screwing around. We’re not even exactly sure what we are, but I know it’s not about other men. It’s just seeing them treating you like a toy or a piece of meat. You’re a lot more than a sexy hunk.”
“That’s a step in the right direction.” Cody leaned in and kissed Kyler. “But I do like the people here. I don’t want to lose Ken or Avery or Bev, for that matter. They’ve been good to me. Honest and well-meaning advice isn’t easy to find in Vegas. If I decided to stop stripping and bartend instead, they’d let me. Would that make you happier?”
“Yes, you said you liked bartending.” Kyler hugged Cody. “Maybe you could do that one or two nights a week? I can volunteer one night, and normally, the garage wants me to work late one night a week. They’re staying open until nine now. If we coordinate our schedules, we’ll have plenty of time for dates.”