Read Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend Online
Authors: Alan Cumyn
It wasn't that her anger was misplaced, or wrongheaded. It was just too . . . Shiels.
It was too Shiels.
She knew it in the middle of blasting but could not feel a way to be both Shiels and Sheldon at the same time.
And Manniberg had no resistance to her.
So the APFSP was dictated, typed, announced, and distributed by the end of the day.
And everyone knew who was behind itâthe girl with the purple nose who had wrangle danced with Pyke, and turned his crest scarlet, but was not known for running.
Anti-Paparazzi Foreign Student Protocol (APFSP)
Vista View High School values and protects the privacy and safety of all its students, regardless of species orientation, and safeguards the basic human rights of each to not be mobbed by fawning, shiftless, overly aggressive, camera-wielding, screaming crowhead sewer vermin from other educational institutions. As extraordinary as the achievements and talents of Vista View students are, the school and all its members vow to protect each and every member, wronged or not, from these lizard brains.
Consequently
, there will be no unauthorized use of cameras or any other photographic or otherwise recording instruments in the school at any time especially by students and other individuals who do not belong to the Vista View High School community;
Specifically,
no student or other individuals from outside the school will be allowed entry without express consent of Principal Manniberg;
Furthermore
, any student or other individual found to be in contravention of this protocol will be subject to the full prosecution of the laws of trespass;
And in summation
, the Vista View High School community vows to protect and value the privacy and safety of all its members, across species, to the highest extent and especially to keep irresponsible and bottom-feeding students foreign to our community away and clear from school property and uninterfering in the lives of its especially most talented and extraordinary members.
An avalanche of
electronic invective smashed down on Shiels's head. She could not look at very much of it.
What gives u the right to dictate to us, slime-nose slut?
Her phone jerked out of her handbag almost, in the backlash.
Where'd u have to shove yur gob to purple it up like that?
Her laptop fumed with the fallout.
Wrangle dance with him all u want. Yur just acting like slutshit!
Shiels sat on her bed with her knees drawn up, holding herself. Trying not to shake.
One brief text from Sheldon:
Sewer vermin? Lizard brains?????
When she texted him back, he did not respond. When she called him, she didn't even get his service. It just rang and rang for nothing.
Her mother knocked softly on the door, and when Shiels did not answer, she let herself in carrying a hot mug of cocoa and an oatmeal cookie.
“You're working so hard these days.” Her mother put the tray beside Shiels and sat on the edge of the bed. “Taking a break for a moment?”
Shiels's face felt as gray as a wrinkled sky.
“I wanted to follow up on our conversation from a few days ago, before all the . . . pterodactyl business,” her mother said. “I have made an appointment for you to see Dr. Russellâ”
“There's no need,” Shiels said, keeping her eyes down.
“There's no need . . . you have made your own arrangements, or there's no needâ”
“There's no need,” Shiels said slowly.
“I see. Well, as you knowâ” What was it in Shiels's eye that made her mother stop talking, swallow slowly, shift gears? “Well, then. I also wanted to remind you about the Stockard application. I don't want to nag or anything, but it's due in a matter of weeks. I have heard that they look more favorably on the early applicants. Joan Lumley, who is on their board of directors, said this to me recently. You have met Dr. Lumley before?”
Shiels's mother was chewing her lower lip, just the corner. Holding back. Shiels had a vague sense of Dr. Lumley standing eagle-eyed on three-inch heels at one of her parents' parties.
“I know you will do a fabulous job on the application. Stockard is small and elite, but with your record I think you're a lock, although you will have to apply yourself once you're there. They have a phenomenal record of placing people at Johns Hopkins. I know you might prefer Harvard, but if you look at the research possibilities now at Johns Hopkinsâ”
If Shiels did not say anything, her mother would just keep talking.
So Shiels said, “Stockard sounds good.”
“I'd be happy to look over your draft. Your father as well. The essay is key. A lot of people don't have your . . . experience and interesting take on life. Maybe . . . maybe Sheldon could help you with the writing? I mean just to get your thoughts together? He is good with words.”
The dam held, somehow, a last membrane behind Shiels's welling eyes. “Sure,” she said.
It was a war, practically, to keep important things from her mother. Shiels had to change the subject. So she said, “Walloping Wallin,” and forced a smile. “It's going to be great, don't you think?”
“I saw the pterodactyl,” her mother said. “We all did. That's lovely that he plays a sport.” She squeezed her daughter's shoulder. “But you, you must focus on what's important. That's the challenge now. There will be time for all kinds of fun and games after your applications are done!”
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The next morning Shiels was back on the track in her yellow shoes. Earlier than before because sleep had not visited, not at two a.m., not at four, not at five thirty.
Not a disaster. She needed to stay conscious. To think it all out in tighter and tighter circles, like Pyke flying around the track while Jocelyne Legault churned out her countless laps.
Her mother had said to focus on what's important. Not football. But maybe not applications, either. Shiels's spinning thoughts kept coming back to this essential truth: Jocelyne was Pyke's real girlfriend. He'd been smitten with her from the beginning. Everyone knew that. He might have wrangle danced with Shiels, but his wings flapped for just one girl. And who knew, really, why his crest had turned? Maybe it was just his ageâpterodactyl puberty or something. He had wrangle danced with both Shiels and Jocelyne. Maybe both of them had set him off.
Yet Shiels donned her yellow shoes before sunrise and settled into her steady, reliable low gear around and around the track. Cool air, blue-gray skies. Almost foggy. The crows were out again to watch her. Should they not be escaping south for the winter? Did crows escape south? Why not? Ugly weather was coming. Bitter winds, frozen ground, snow upon ice upon more snow. Months and months of it.
The dictator of the Anti-Paparazzi Foreign Student Protocol settled into a chugging, quiet rhythm. Small steps, arms pumping, breaths regular. This was the stride her shoes wanted her to take. Slowly, slowly . . . just keep running.
Why had Pyke not yet come to watch her? She was in full view of his spies, wearing her yellow shoes (he had practically commanded her to wear them). Running.
Learning how to run.
She needed him to seek her out.
She had engineered him a role in Walloping Wallin.
She was doing everything right, as far as she could see. And yet . . . And yet . . .
Sheldon was gone.
There was no loyalty left amongst her team.
The students hated her.
Stride, stride, breathe, stride . . .
Maybe . . . they were right.
Maybe . . . she had no legitimacy left. Maybe she'd never had any. Who was she fooling? She was not going to get into Chesford to study with Lorraine Miens. Not as an undergrad. Maybe not as a grad, either. She couldn't even write an Anti-Paparazzi Foreign Student Protocol without landing a ton of crowshit on her head.
Where was Sheldon when she needed him?
She rounded the bend at the north end of the track, and Sheldon was not thereâshe had no right to expect him to beâbut suddenly Pyke was. He landed so abruptly, with so little grace, she felt the fear jolt through her the way a field mouse must experience the instant before the grasp of a hawk.
“Crowshit!” she said, because that word was on her mind.
He was standing just a few paces away, his wings opening and closing, looking huge, as if he might take off again any moment.
He stared at her now, visually pulled her to him. Lowered his beak as if he might use it.
For what?
“You came to see me,” she said.
Again, a certain heat surrounded him. It wasn't just the running. She felt so close to him. How far had he flown just to be with her? She put her hand on his heaving, purple hide. It just felt like the thing to do. She remembered now the moment of first touching him in the wrangle danceânot just a video memory, but a real one. This pulsing through her body. Boiling her oil.
“Run you,” he saidâa whisper, really. He wasn't learning much English, despite the classes he sat through day after day.
Maybe he didn't need it. He seemed to have a whole other way to communicate.
Where . . . where to kiss along the beak?
Is that what pterodactyls do?
The crows started to clamor then. Shiels was going to ignore themâwho ever paid attention to crows?
Pyke snapped around. It was a miracle Shiels was not disemboweled by the slashing beak.
Shiels strained to see . . . Jocelyne Legault arriving at the track in her warm-up gear, an athletic bag on her shoulder. Her nose so dark, like Shiels's. She carried her shoes.
Her yellow shoes.
Jocelyne stopped when she saw Pyke, the two of them.
What are they doing?
she must've been thinking. Pyke and the new girl.
The new girl with the purple nose wearing yellow shoes too.
On Jocelyne Legault's track.
“I better . . . I have to get going,” Shiels said to the pterodactyl. And she started runningâclip-clip, clip-clipâin her slow way. It was just down the home stretch. It had to be toward Jocelyne Legault.
That was where the only exit was.
But by the time she got there, Jocelyne had already pulled on her own shoes and taken off around the bend. Uncatchable.
Unstoppable.
Shiels had no idea what she might want to say to Jocelyne Legault anyway.
“I love Sheldon but I covet your boyfriend too.”
“I can't describe what he does to me.”
“I'm like this river that cannot stay within its own sensible banks.”
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Already waiting at the school when Shiels arrived to begin her academic day was the real paparazziânews vans, photographers, journalists with video cameras, staking out the front doors of the school. Shiels wanted to charge into them (that instinct reared its head whenever Pyke was concerned), but she held back. Had her own foolishly worded protocol summoned the press, unwittingly leaked the news of Vista View's most extraordinary student?
Unlikely. Those nonâVista Viewers yesterday had already found out about Pyke. The wonder was that the school had been able to keep a lid on so far. And this scrum . . . was not her responsibility. Manniberg was already holding court, looking grim and leader-like in his overcoat and not letting anybody in. Shiels kept her distance but could hear clearly.
“I have a duty to protect the privacy and person of every student under my care,” he said. “There can be no photographs, no interviews, no video shot without permission, and the student in question has not granted thatâ”
“Is he playing in the football game, Principal Manniberg?” a woman yelled, leaning in with her microphone.
“Those decisions are Coach's responsibility,” Manniberg said. “What we are most concerned with here at Vista View is providing safe, challenging, appropriate education for every student whoâ”
“Is it true that he's a pterodactyl?” another reporter asked. “Where does he come from? Have paleontologists been alerted?”
“Vista View is a school, not a circus,” Manniberg said smoothly. “Now if you'll excuse meâ”
“We've heard reports that some of the girls of the school have been sexually marked by the pterodactylâ”
Shiels turned and headed for the side entrance, her face down. They needed to bar the doors, call the police!
But it wasn't her responsibility. She'd already authored the APFSP. Manniberg had gotten the drift and knew his lines. Maybe they should call in the National Guard!
Or maybe it wouldn't be such a big thing. It hadn't taken long for most of the Vista View students to get used to having Pyke around. Maybe the whole world was going to fall in love with him too.
Maybe Shiels didn't have a lot of time.
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But, with the world slowly turning its eyes, with the press at the door, hungry, how to think about anything else? Pyke had not shown up for practice yet. The football team was in disarray. Was he going to play or not? How would they do it? Where was he now? He seemed to drop into classes only occasionally, a period of urban geography, a session in Spanish (which he seemed to speak better than English, although that was not saying very much).
Pyke is a game-day performer,
Shiels posted on Vhub, to try to calm people down.
He didn't even show up for the sound check at Autumn Whirl. But everybody knows . . . he sure came to play!
U 2!
some troll wrote back.
U played wrangle dance till ur nose turned blak!
She didn't look at any other comments.
Another issue of the
Leghorn Review
was due soon, and Shiels was dreading it. Normally she and Sheldon would've been watermashing the topics all weekâtexting, emailing, calling, gabbing. They would have already hashed out something on People Who Text Too Much, and Why Watching Music Videos without Sound Should Become an Olympic Sport, and on Seven Unusual Facts about Sober Dating. They would have talked it out. And then in the stuffy control room off the library, they would have sat together and pounded out the articles, concocted the graphics, mixed the music.