Hotel Ruby (29 page)

Kenneth shoots a frightened gaze around and then reaches to grab my arm, half pulling me onto the desk. “I run this place,” he shouts, spittle dribbling over his lips. “I'm in charge.”

I think back to when he told me my head was bleeding, only to find there was no injury at all. He's trying to do it again, but I'm no longer under his spell. When he understands this, I see the slow realization slide over his fat little face.

“You can't hurt me, Kenneth,” I say calmly “You can't do shit.”

“What?” He shakes his head in disbelief, baring his teeth. They're sharp and pointy, but he doesn't intimidate me. Not anymore.

Behind me the song gets louder, calling me back. Time is up—I have to get in the elevator or risk being stuck here forever. I look down at Kenneth's hand clamped on my wrist. He makes his guests suffer by making them as they really are—burned or broken. What would happen to Kenneth if I put him in the real world? How is
he
really?

I reach out suddenly to grab the collar of his tux, holding him fast. He begins to struggle, frightened, and lets go of my wrist, trying to pry my fingers loose. I close my eyes, listening to the song, letting the melody make sense. Feeling the cold air on the side of the road as it climbs over my skin. The aches in my broken bones. The tears in my flesh. “As you really are, Kenneth,” I whisper harshly, willing it. “As you really are.”

Kenneth howls in pain, but slowly his fight starts to lessen. I open my eyes, inches from his terrible face. He roars, but then his skin starts to wither. Burns appear, dotting the edges of his cheeks with blisters, bursting and then
reopening as he screams in pain. His flesh is eaten away, blackening and falling off. His body becomes lighter in his tuxedo, but I hold on, disgusted and horrified, but emboldened and stronger. My pain is fading, the music is quieting. My connection to the outside is evaporating.

I feel myself slipping away, the presence of death stealing my warmth, slowing my heart. I continue to push Kenneth into a realm where he doesn't belong. Affecting him in a way that terrifies him. Destroys him.

The only thing Kenneth is scared of is me. I came back, and he will never understand why. He'll never understand how I love my family, and what I'll give up to protect them. I choose this ending. I choose to live forever with my family, unable to imagine any other way. I control my fear with love, and that makes Kenneth completely powerless.

I let out a breath, one last rattle in my chest. “As you really are,” I say again, tears streaming down my cheeks. Kenneth's eyeballs start to dissolve, and his muscles decay until he's just a skeleton. Only then do I let go of his collar. He smashes to the floor and explodes into dust behind the counter.

The Hotel Ruby is hazy, and the desk attendant looks over, surprised. I stare as he gets up, his shoes scraping the shiny floor until he comes to pause at the pile of dust. He furrows his brow. My mouth has gone dry, my entire body trembling. It's my last moment in the outside world.

“Can you see me?” I ask weakly.

For a second the desk attendant pauses, and I hold
my breath. Then he shrugs and reaches inside the small doorway—a closet—and pulls out a broom and dustpan. He sweeps Kenneth away and dumps him into a tiny trash can. Leaving him as he really is: dust.

“Audrey?”

There's a vacuum of air, and I turn. The crisp, color-filled world of the Ruby comes into focus. I see Elias staring at me, wide-eyed. The others are gone now, and like Catherine said, the quiet is nice. Daniel sits up, holding his head while still in a pool of his own blood. His suit is ruined. Catherine clutches Joshua's arm as they both watch me in complete shock.

Guests are gathered at the entry of the ballroom, everyone quiet. I look down at my bloody dress and realize that all my pain is gone. There is no ache, there is no cold. There is no music. I suck in a breath, the sound loud in the silent room.

Elias puts his hand on his heart, tears drip over his cheeks.

I'm dead.

M
y mother's name was Helen—a name that took on a saintly ring once she was gone. She died from a stroke at forty-three and never had a chance to say good-bye. It was a tragedy, worse than anything Shakespeare could have written. It broke my family. It broke me.

But now, standing in the lobby of the Hotel Ruby, covered in my dead brother's blood, I wonder what my death means. My immediate family is already gone from the world, but what about my grandmother? She lost her daughter, and now all of us. Could one family be so cursed? Maybe this is Shakespeare after all.

There's a sharp pain in my heart when I think about Ryan, the fact that I've died while he still loves me. He'll have to carry that forever, the calamity coloring his future relationships, hurting him. Or he can find peace. Find happiness.

My life, which I hadn't wanted, was barely starting. But now I'm dead, and I'm never coming back. I'm fucking dead. With that thought, I sink down on my heels, covering my face with the shock of it all.

A moment passes, and then I feel Elias's warm touch. He kneels on the floor next to me and gathers me into a
hug, crying that he should have fought harder to save me. I rest my chin on his shoulder, listening, wondering if Tanya was right about the way he cares about me—that it's different, that he's been waiting for me all along.

When Elias pulls back, hands on my face as he checks me over, I see how light his amber eyes are, like he's cried the color out of them. “I'm so sorry, Audrey,” he says, barely a whisper.

“Stop,” I tell him. I lean in and kiss his lips, his cheeks. “No more,” I say, tired of the angst. Ready to let it rest with my body on the road. Elias nods, although clearly still not over my new condition, and helps me to stand.

My father waits with Daniel, both looking heartbroken. Despite that, seeing them together overwhelms me with a sense of hope. Hope for us. Now that Kenneth is gone, there is no fear. I have my family. Those words are everything:
I have my family
.

On the other side of the lobby the elevator dings, and the doors slide open. I smile automatically as Lourdes rushes out, Tanya jogging to keep up. The first thing Lourdes notices is the blood around where Daniel is standing, the state of his suit. She goes to him immediately, turning his head to make sure he's not injured. He rolls his eyes, telling her to stop worrying, but I can tell he likes the attention. Across from him Catherine lowers her eyes and holds tighter to Joshua. I think maybe they're a good match—and Joshua was probably right: if she had
been engaged to him, she might not have ended up here.

Tanya notices me first and laughs—both horrified and relieved to see me. She nudges Lourdes, who then looks over her shoulder at me. She freezes and then hitches up her eyebrow in an exaggerated
What the hell are you doing here?
stare. I shrug, but bite down on my lip to keep from crying. They said she'd be all right, but I'm so relieved to see it's true. She exhales dramatically and then comes over to hug me, making me fall back a step in my heels.

“Goddamn, your brother was right,” she says, squeezing me tightly. “You really wouldn't leave him here.”

“I didn't want to leave any of you with Kenneth.”

Lourdes pulls back, still rattled by the name. “The Ruby does seem happier, doesn't she?” she says. “I felt it the minute he was gone. I'm not sure how you did it, but you scared him to death.” She laughs softly. “You scared him to life. You gave him yours—your escape.” Her dark eyes glisten, thankful, but knowing she doesn't have to say it. She knows what I've lost, what we've all lost by being here. She clears her throat and looks over my ruined dress. “Luckily, I know how to get out bloodstains,” she says, making me smile.

“Audrey,” Joshua calls. I glance behind Lourdes as Joshua bends down to pick up my invitation from the floor. “I guess you don't need this anymore?” he asks.

It's true. I'm part of the Ruby now, using up my chance to leave. Even if I got onto the elevator, there would be no thirteenth floor. It was never really there to begin with. So
technically, I don't need the invitation to attend the party. But maybe I just want to make it official.

I turn to Elias, and he looks down at me—his hair disheveled, his tie askew. He holds out his arm and stares straight ahead toward the doors of the ballroom. I slip my palm into the crook of his elbow, and we start forward. I take the invitation from Joshua as we pass, and he smiles, nodding politely now that I'm a guest.

The attendant at the ballroom doors smiles as I pause in front of him. “Miss Casella,” he says cordially. He holds out his hand for the invitation. I stare down at the black envelope, my name scrawled across it. I'm suddenly a little scared, nervous. I look back at my brother, our father and Lourdes at his side. He nods that it's okay. No matter what, we're all okay.

I gaze over the stalled party beyond the doorway. The other guests have stopped to stare, waiting for me to join them. Elias's hand slides over mine, comforting me. I close my eyes, searching for any last moments in the world, but there is nothing beyond this. With a steadying breath I outstretch my hand and give the attendant my invitation to the Hotel Ruby First Anniversary Party.

The minute the paper leaves my hand, the singer at the piano smiles and starts a new song. We step inside, and around the room there's a sense of kinship. An affection for the Ruby herself. The other guests watch me, smiling and happy that I've joined them. Heads turn, and I think that maybe the red really does suit me.

“Dance?” Elias asks, glancing over. I narrow my eyes, resting my hands on his chest and leaning in.

“I thought you didn't dance,” I say, swaying slightly with the music. He takes my hand and kisses my fingers, twirling me around once to prove that he could have danced if he had wanted to.

The ballroom begins to fill out, the others flickering back into our existence. Daniel and Lourdes come inside, along with my father and everyone else. The sparkle of the chandelier sets everything ablaze with magic, timeless and alive. A never-ending party at the Ruby—where you can stay tonight, or stay forever.

Elias and I dance. I'm part of it now. I belong to the Ruby. The other ones, the guests who aren't like us, mill about, commenting on how cold the ballroom has gotten. Talking excitedly about ghosts. They're on a different plane, existing only in one dimension.

But the lot of us can see it all. We're here together, forever, but it's not so bad. I turn to Eli, draping my arms over his shoulders and coming in close. I see now that the sadness in his eyes will never go away, just like my grief and guilt can never truly fade. It's part of who we were, who we still are. We were lost, all of us, but now we've found a place where we can belong.

Here in the Ruby we can all start our lives again, now that we're dead.

Also by Suzanne Young

The Program

The Treatment

The Recovery

The Remedy

The Epidemic

Just Like Fate

with Cat Patrick

This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.