‘I’ve left a message asking him, but he hasn’t called back yet. He’s probably sleeping off his jetlag. He only got home from the States last night.’
‘Julia,’ Elsie’s face became serious. ‘I want you to swear to me that neither you or Kit will mention any of what I’ve told you to Alicia until I’ve had a word with your dad.’
‘Of course, if that’s what you want. Does Dad know any of this?’
‘No, he doesn’t, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to tell him myself. Explain in my own words why I never told Jasmine.’
‘Of course. Anyway, please don’t let it spoil your day,’ Julia implored. ‘Alicia, Max and the children are due here at half past twelve. And they’re so looking forward to seeing you.’
‘And I them,’ nodded Elsie. She took a sip of her tea. ‘Silly of me to be nervous about coming back here, wasn’t it? Thought it might bring back bad memories, and, instead, it’s brought back all the good.’ Elsie glanced around the kitchen. ‘It was like a morgue, mind, after Harry died, and her Ladyship rattled around here by herself. I used to dread coming to work. But now there’s new life in the place. It doesn’t feel
sad
any more. Of course, what it needed was two young people in love.’
Julia blushed and changed the subject. ‘I was wondering if you could tell me how long I should cook this beef?’ she said, pointing to the joint on the sideboard as she cracked some eggs for Elsie’s breakfast into a pan. ‘I’m not really a very experienced cook, but I’m learning.’
‘Enthusiasm is all you need, my love.’ Elsie stood up and walked over to the beef. ‘First of all, I’ll show you how to baste it.’
50
Just after twelve thirty, Julia saw Max and Alicia’s car coming down the drive. She swung open the heavy front door and went down the steps to greet them.
The children flocked around her in the hall, ‘ooing’ and ‘aahing’ over the grandness of their auntie’s new residence. Julia shepherded everyone through the house and on to the terrace, where Elsie was waiting for them. Julia saw her face light up as her great-grandchildren clustered around her. When Kit came out with a bottle of champagne, he was introduced to the children, and Julia felt a warm glow as she watched the easy way he talked to them.
After a while, Julia left them all chatting on the terrace and went to attend to her beef. Alicia followed her into the kitchen.
‘Anything I can do to help?’ she asked.
‘Yes, keep an eye on those carrots and tell me when they’re cooked,’ said Julia, pouring more oil over her roast potatoes. ‘I’m truly hopeless with vegetables.’
Alicia forked a carrot out of the pan and put it in her mouth. ‘These are perfect. I’ll take them off the boil. Weird to see you cooking,’ she commented, moving the saucepan on to the hotplate.
‘I never had time before, but I’m really enjoying learning. Kit’s teaching me.’
Alicia folded her arms as she watched Julia. ‘You know, I still haven’t a clue how you two got together. There was I, presuming you were back in France, and two weeks later I see you walking down Holt High Street, with Kit Crawford’s arm slung cosily round your shoulder.’ There was an edge to Alicia’s voice. ‘You might have told me.’
‘Yes,’ replied Julia guiltily, ‘I should have done. I’m sorry. I just … well, I wasn’t sure what to say. It’s hard to explain what happened. You might have thought I was making a rash decision.’
‘And disapprove?’
‘Yes, to be honest.’
‘Julia, after the hell you’ve been through, if Kit makes you happy, why on earth should I?’ snapped Alicia. ‘Honestly, do you really think I’m that judgemental?’
‘No …’ Julia shook her head, ‘I suppose I was just being selfish, wanting to keep it all to myself for a while, see how things worked out before I broadcast it.’
‘I presume the baby and his, er, girlfriend, have been dispatched now?’
‘That, Alicia, is exactly why I haven’t said anything!’ Julia shot back. ‘Annie wasn’t his “girlfriend” and her baby wasn’t his. Kit was simply helping an old friend in her hour of need, whatever the local gossips are still saying. People should mind their own business,’ she added crossly.
‘Julia, for goodness’ sake, Kit Crawford is the new owner of Wharton Park, one of the grandest estates in the county! He’s local royalty and of course he’s going to be gossiped about! And you will be too, if you stay with him, so get used to it! And perhaps, if you’d trusted me with the true version of events, I might have been able to put paid to some of it, at least. But you didn’t. Really, I sometimes wonder what kind of person you think I am.’ The delicate pink of Alicia’s cheeks had turned red with rare anger. ‘And if you had told me, I’d have been thrilled for you, once I understood the circumstances. I think Kit’s a lovely man and completely smitten with you. There aren’t many men who would have cared for you like he did when you were so sick. I knew how he felt about you then.’
‘Did you?’ Julia was genuinely surprised.
‘Absolutely. And I knew you liked him too, but were just too scared and confused to admit it, which I really understand.’
‘Oh.’ Julia drained her glass, feeling churlish for underestimating Alicia. ‘Anyway, now you do know, perhaps we can see a little more of each other,’ she said, as a peace offering.
‘Yes, that would be nice. Anyway, let’s move on, shall we? Is Dad coming today?’ asked Alicia. ‘I know his flight landed late last night.’
‘I think so, but he wasn’t quite sure what time. He told me not to hold lunch for him. I think he really wants to see Elsie.’
‘Have you told Dad yet about you and Kit?’
‘No. You know what he’s like, especially after a research trip; his head’s still full of flora and fauna. It wouldn’t have sunk in.’
‘And how’s Elsie?’ Alicia watched as Julia started stirring the gravy. ‘Has she told you any more of the story?’
‘Not really, no.’ Julia spoke guardedly, remembering Elsie’s plea. ‘I’m sure she will, but she was very tired last night. Right,’ she pulled the joint out of the Aga, ‘I think this beef is ready, don’t you? Could you ask Kit to come in and carve?’
George arrived at the house halfway through the beef, looking tanned and healthy. Julia fetched a warm plate of food for him and, as he ate, George regaled the table with his new discoveries from the Galapagos Islands. When they had all finished, he helped Julia carry the plates into the kitchen.
‘Darling,’ he said as he put them down by the side of the sink, ‘you look like a different person. Or, in fact, more accurately, like the old Julia. I presume it’s that attractive young man of yours who’s brought about this transformation?’
‘Kit has certainly helped, in all sorts of ways,’ Julia agreed coyly. ‘I’m … much better.’
‘Well,’ said George, ‘haven’t had much of a chance to talk to him, but he seems like a nice chap. Is there such a thing as a dishwasher lurking somewhere in this kitchen?’
‘No. Far too modern a convenience for this house,’ Julia grinned, ‘so I’m afraid it’s elbows in the suds time. I’m living back in the fifties here, Dad. Not that I mind. It’s such a beautiful old house.’
‘It is indeed,’ George agreed, ‘and I admit, it’s an odd experience being greeted at the front door of Wharton Park by my own daughter, and finding my family on the estate once more.’ He put the plug in the sink and started running the tap.
‘Don’t worry about that now, Dad, I’ll see to it later. Perhaps you could take the pavlova and the raspberries out for me?’ She pointed to them on the kitchen table. ‘Shop-bought, I’m afraid. My new-found talents don’t extend to puds yet.’
George picked them up and headed for the door, then paused and turned. ‘So, you being here at Wharton Park with Kit – do I gather this is a permanent arrangement?’
‘Who knows? As you once said to me, Dad, I’m taking one day at a time.’
‘Good girl, good girl,’ he replied. ‘I’m pleased for you, darling, I really am.’
*
After lunch, Kit rounded up the boys to play football, and Julia took the girls on a tour of the house, a situation she had specifically engineered to leave George and Elsie alone together.
‘My goodness,’ Alicia whistled as they walked down the long upstairs corridors, opening doors to room after room. ‘This is a huge renovation job. The whole house needs a complete overhaul.’
‘Well, I like it just the way it is,’ Julia said defensively.
Back downstairs, Julia made coffee and Alicia took the tray out on to the terrace. Elsie was sitting there alone, eyes closed, enjoying the afternoon sun.
‘Where’s Dad?’ asked Alicia as she sat down.
Elsie opened her eyes slowly. ‘He sent his apologies, he did, said he only got a couple of hours’ sleep last night and wanted to get home before he was too tired to drive. He said he’d give you a call later.’
‘Poor thing, he must be exhausted,’ Alicia said, unaware there could be another reason for her father to leave without saying goodbye. ‘Now, shall I pour coffee?’
When Alicia and Max had taken their brood home for baths and bed, Kit nipped out to check something on the farm, and Julia sat with Elsie, watching the sunset from the terrace.
‘I spoke to your dad,’ Elsie ventured eventually.
‘Right.’
‘What you must understand, Julia,’ Elsie sighed, ‘is that when you open up a secret from the past, it’s a can of worms. I know you’ve probably heard that many times before but, my love, it’s true. Because they wriggle out and spread themselves in places you never expected them to.’
‘It must be hard for you to have to do this, but I’m so glad you have, Granny,’ Julia replied warmly. ‘Already, there are things I’ve never understood about myself that are beginning to fall into place. Talking of which, Kit wondered whether you knew what happened to Lidia. Did she make it through the operation and could she still be alive?’
‘Well now,’ Elsie said slowly, ‘I’m going to let you into another little secret. Something that even Bill didn’t know. You see, when Bill told me how that poor girl had to hand over Jasmine to him, my heart bled for her, it did. Bill wrote to his friend, the flower man, as he’d promised, to tell him to let Lidia know Jasmine was safe at Wharton Park. Not mentioning, of course, she was living with us in our cottage, and not up at the big house with her dad. Lidia wrote back to me a few weeks later, to say she’d survived the operation and was slowly getting better. Well,’ Elsie continued, ‘I thought it would be nice for her to see some pictures of Jasmine, so I sent some to her. Over the years, we wrote to each other, me always pretending I was the nursemaid looking after Jasmine, so she wouldn’t get upset, like.’
‘What a lovely thing to do,’ Julia smiled.
‘Well, how Lidia could ever have thought Harry’s wife would accept his illegitimate child, I really don’t know. But if it made her happy to think her girl was being brought up a “Lady”, who was I to disillusion her?’ Elsie rubbed her nose. ‘Maybe they do things differently over in them hot countries.’
‘It did cross my mind that after Olivia lost her baby, she might have thought about adopting my mother,’ Julia admitted.
‘Never in a month of Sundays!’ Elsie grimaced. ‘For a start, it would have been impossible for her to pass Jasmine off as her own, Olivia being so fair and Jasmine being so dark, like. But, more importantly, she would never have acknowledged her as Harry’s child. Olivia knew he was in love with Lidia. She wasn’t going to have Jasmine as a daily reminder of that love, was she now? However empty her nest remained.’
‘No … you’re right,’ Julia agreed. ‘Of course she wouldn’t. Do you and Lidia still communicate, Granny?’
‘No. After your mum died, I didn’t write no more. Couldn’t bring myself to tell her. As we both know, mothers never get over losing a child …’ Elsie’s voice trailed off. ‘So, in answer to your question, I’ve no idea if Lidia is still alive.’
‘No,’ Julia answered quietly.
‘Oh, dearie me,’ Elsie sighed, ‘it’s no good thinking the past is in the past: it carries on, it does, and by telling you and Kit what I have, it meant that your dad was faced with a decision too. I can only hope I’ve done the right thing.’
‘Well, whatever it is, I’m sure we’re a strong enough family to take it.’
Elsie reached for Julia’s hand and patted it. ‘Yes, my love, I think we are.’
51
Three days later, Kit drove Julia to Stansted airport. Julia could easily have taken a taxi, but Kit had insisted. One way and another, they had hardly seen each other since the weekend.
‘Have you spoken to your father in the past few days?’ Kit asked, his eyes on the busy motorway.
‘I left him two messages and he finally called me back yesterday. He’s been at Kew, presenting his new Galapagos species to the horticultural Powers-That-Be.’
‘He didn’t mention the conversation he had with Elsie on Sunday, then?’
‘No. And I didn’t press it either. He sounded a little distant,’ Julia shrugged, ‘but then, he often does. I’m sure he’ll tell me in his own good time.’
‘You’re right. And you’ve got enough on your plate, sweetheart.’ Kit reached across and squeezed Julia’s hand. ‘I wish I could come with you, you know. Are you sure you’ll be all right?’
Julia nodded stoically. ‘I’ve just got to get this over and done with.’
‘Yes. And …’ Kit searched for the words, ‘I want you to know I respect how much you loved them. They won’t threaten me, Julia. I really accept that if Xavier was still here, you’d be with him. And I don’t want you to be ashamed or guilty about that. I can hardly resent that you’ve loved others before. Remember, I have too.’