Authors: Julie Smith
"Anyway, maybe I learned something from it."
"What? Not to be scared? Not to do anything
stupid when you're scared? We all think we've learned that one, but
it keeps coming back. I don't know if there's anything to compare
with the fear that you might lose somebody you love."
He looked so miserable Skip wanted to hug him like he
was Kenny's age.
"
Well, I might have learned specific things not
to do. Like try to replace him with somebody else just because I'm
scared shitless."
"You're not going to say, 'even though men do
that all the time'?"
"Come to think of it, I guess that's what Darryl
was doing. Maybe not quite that—for him it was a rebound thing."
"There's fear in that too—the fear that never
goes away. That you'll get sick and you'll be alone. That you'll die
alone."
She felt her throat closing. She thought of lim and
his two wives and two sets of children.
At least he wasn't alone.
Yes, he was. When he died, he was alone.
I wasn't there.
"What is it, Venus? What's wrong?"
She shook her head. "Nothing. It's a sad
thought, that's all. Dying alone."
"You've got me," he said, and she knew he
wanted to take her hand but wouldn't.
"I know."
"And I've got you. I know that, you don't have
to say it, but do you mind if I vent for a minute?"
"Sure." But she was puzzled, having no idea
what was coming. "'Well, you could marry the man-mountain."
"
What! And make you miserable?" Though
things were better since Layne's arrival, the tension between Dee-Dee
and Steve would always be there.
"It's just theoretical, darling. You could marry
him. I mean, it's legal."
She was beginning to get his drift. "Dee-Dee,
for Christ's sake—you're pining for a white wedding? Sheila as
bridesmaid and Kenny as ring-bearer?"
"
Cruel, cruel beast."
She could see he wasn't offended, but for form's sake
she said she was sorry.
"
Oh, I'm just carping. I'm not much into the
politics of it all. If Layne and I wanted to own property together,
we could. I could leave my oh-so-modest fortune to him—only now
there are Sheila and Kenny.
"
And you, of course. The city's so broke, you're
going to need help even if you make chief. " He got back to the
original subject: "What I'm talking about is more an angst kind
of thing."
"About being gay." He'd never expressed the
slightest dissatisfaction with it, even though she knew he was in the
closet at work. "The truth is, I don't know if I'd feel
comfortable living with Layne, even if I didn't have the kids. You
know how I sometimes take a female date to parties? Like Your
Tininess, for instance. And now with the kids, would it really be the
best thing? I mean, would Kenny's little friends call him a queer and
stuff?"
"Dee-Dee, Kenny's lost both parents. Compared to
that, it doesn't seem all that important."
"But that's the point! His life's been hard, and
now he's in an alien world—I don't want to make it any worse."
"Okay, so let's see if I'm getting this right.
You're upset because Layne's allergic to Angel, and also because you
can't marry him, but mostly because it wouldn't look too good to live
with him. Does that about cover it?"
"Oh, Ming the Merciless. How can you?"
"I'm just trying to get the lay of the land."
Dee-Dee put a hand over his mouth. "I will not
make any cheap jokes." She could see he was cheering up. "God,
I'm unattractive when I get like this!"
"Oh, you are not, Dee-Dee."
"
I don't know what comes over me, I just get
these pathetic longings."
"Give yourself a break. The average person Wants
to be able to get married and have the same rights as anybody else—"
"God, you sound doctrinaire."
"
Now you're going to trivialize it?"
"Hey! Let's hear it for queers. I'm certainly
not going to trivialize it." He looked sheepish. "But about
my pathetic longings—"
"
What's pathetic about them?"
"I only get them when things are going great."
"
So the truth comes out. Things are going great,
are they?"
"Well, they were until the sneezes started. This
could cause real babysitting problems, do you realize that? I mean,
if I can only go over there."
"So take the kids. They can play some of Layne's
games."
"Oh, enough. How's your love life?"
"
You certainly have a short attention span."
"Cough it up."
A wave of regret broke over her. "Great, except
he's leaving in a few days."
"Well, gather ye rosebuds and all that."
"
The other night I saw Darryl with another
woman. I had a pang, I have to admit it."
"
Hussy."
"
Hasn't it ever happened to you? Being with
somebody you love, but attracted to someone else that you know
wouldn't be right for you, and anyway the other one's the one you're
committed to, but you sort of can't resist anyway? It's like you're
hypnotized or something; or under some evil spell."
"You terrify me, darling. My bones are
absolutely rattling with fear. No! I cannot do it again. When I think
of what I just went through with you! The way you moped for weeks
after you tossed aside your bear like a hamster—"
"
I'm not going to do anything, Dee-Dee. I'm just
talking about the way I feel"
"Let me tell you something, Thumbelina. It's
damned dangerous talk."
She knew it was. Darryl exerted a powerful pull on
her, she didn't know why. And he was around a lot. During that
turbulent period, he'd gotten to know the kids and they adored him.
He flirted when he came around too.
20
Reed heard a key in the lock. Her body stiffened.
Anna Garibaldi again. Perhaps she could talk Anna into letting her
have a minute with Sally, even letting her see Sally, just for a
moment, even a moment.
Maybe she should offer her money.
It sounded as if Anna was fumbling; funny, she didn't
seem the type. And then Evie, not Anna, fell into the room under a
heavy weight.
Sally.
The child, struggling in Evie's arms, had apparently
thrown her off balance. Evie had a hand clasped over Sally's mouth,
which meant she had had to negotiate the lock with the hand that
balanced Sally in her arms—no easy task. She closed the door
quickly by banging her butt against it.
When she took her hand from Sally's mouth, Reed saw
that the child's face was red with fingerprints, but it seemed
trivial at the moment. Sally was here and unharmed.
"Mama. Mama." Evie released her and she ran
to Reed, who had only one arm to pick her up, the other being
handcuffed once again to her chair.
"Oh, baby. Baby, baby, baby."
Evie said, "Reed, I'm sorry."
Sorry!
Sally was cuddling like a monkey, trying to wrap
herself around Reed tight enough to stick if anyone tried to pry her
off. But like Reed, she had only one hand right now; her right thumb
was in her mouth. And Sally didn't suck her thumb.
"
I got drunk. I'm really sorry. I can't believe
I could be so stupid."
Reed fought down all the ready answers to that one.
She felt her hand on Sally's soft cheek, the pressure of the child's
legs around her. "Evie. Whats going on here?"
"I don't know what happened. I just—"
"Evie, work with me. Please!"
Evie glanced at the door. "You're right. I don't
know how much time we have." She dropped her voice. "Anna's
on the phone—she left her keys in my room when she went to take the
call. Somethings wrong with her; shes not acting normal. When the
call came through, she kind of went berserk."
"
You're involved with these people?"
She glanced at Reeds handcuffs. "Not really. But
they know me here, so they let me out now and then—when they need a
babysitter. Basically, I'm locked in a room most of the time, but,
see, Anna's got this thing for Sally—it's like shes some frustrated
grandma who just found something to love. I don't know—shes just
gaga over the kid—so sometimes she lets me out to take care of her
for a little while, if she has to go out for a few minutes."
"
She's let you out before and this is the first
time you've brought her to me?"
"You don't understand. This is the first time I
haven't had somebody watching me like I was about to steal the
silver. There's these guys—these real big guys."
"
They're here now?"
"
They're always here."
So much for any thoughts of making a break for it.
"What is this place?"
"
My boyfriends house."
"Well, who is your boyfriend? Gus Lozano?"
"He's this really nice man. A lawyer . . . Her
eyes filmed over and her voice dropped to a whisper. "But
somethings off; somethings way off." Again she glanced at the
door. "Let me just check something."
She opened the door and stepped out for a moment. She
came back nodding. "She's still talking. I'd better take Sally
back."
"
No." Reed squeezed the child against her,
and Sally, instinctively, hugged her tighter as well. "You took
my baby for this frustrated grandmother? Did you sell her? Is that
whats happening here?"
Evie looked horrified. "Oh, no. Oh, no, it
wasn't that."
"
Well what?"
"
I was just She paused, apparently trying to get
her thoughts together about what had happened. "I don't know, I
was just incredibly stupid. Thats all."
What kind of stupid, dammit?
But she held her tongue, knowing nothing she could say would speed up
the process.
Evie shrugged, obviously still trying to make sense
of it. "I just got involved with somebody I didn't know that
well. When I think back on it, I guess thats what happened. He seemed
like a pillar of the community. You know. Lawyer. Nice house and
everything"—she indicated the room surrounding them—"but
I guess when you get down to it, I just . . . really didn't know him.
I should have known. I never dated anybody that nice before. Men like
that don't like me; why would they? But I thought, since I cleaned up
and everything—"
Cleaned up. Right. "Evie, what happened?"
"I got drunk. I got drunk and kidnapped Sally so
we could be a happy little family .... "
Reed couldn't help herself: "You must have been
seriously loaded."
"Don't, Reed. Just don't, okay? Don't you think
I feel bad enough?"
"Sorry." But she wasn't. She felt like a
Stephen King character, the imprisoned writer in Misery, at the mercy
of a lunatic.
Sally said, "Mama? Go home now? Daddy?"
"
Soon, honey. Soon." Reed's conscience
throbbed. She didn't believe in lying to children. But she didn't
need an argument now. For the moment, Evie had replaced her ditsiness
with a look of determination. ''When things went wrong—you know, at
Mother and Daddy's—I came to Mo. My boyfriend. I mean, what else
would you do? I thought he'd protect me. But he ordered both of us
locked up; all three of us, I mean. I don't know why. I swear I
don't. When he came to talk to me that night, all he said was, there
was a huge meeting going on here and he'd have to get back to me. I
didn't even realize I was locked in until I tried to leave the
bedroom."
"
Meeting," said Reed. "That explains
what Barron Piggott was doing here. And Bruce Smallwood and Lafayette
Goodyear."
She looked up at her sister. "But the boyfriend,
Evie. A thug named Mo!"
"
His name is Maurice Gresham and he's a very
nice—"
"Maurice Gresham?"
"
You know him?"
"Very well. He and his wife are regulars at the
restaurant. Every Tuesday night, just about."
"Wife! Did you say wife?" Evie's eyes
flicked, panicky.
"Evie, he's no lawyer. And he couldn't possibly
own this house. He's a cop—and not a chief or anything either. I
don't know if he's even a sergeant."
Behind Evie the door flew open and the entrance was
filled with one of the real big guys she'd mentioned, dressed in
khakis and a polo shirt. Pointing a gun at the three of them.
He stepped into the room, the Dragon behind him.
Evie was right. There was something strange about the
Dragon, if that's who Anna was; something shaky and slightly out of
control. Her face was chalky and her skin drawn. She looked as if
she'd had a horrible shock.
The big guy put his gun
away and began the task of peeling Sally off her mother.
* * *