How Do I Love Thee (9 page)

ana never told anyone, not even her best friend, Terry Brown, about her summer with Steve. Terry would have spread it all over school at the beginning of sophomore year, and Dana would have been the topic of gossip. Plus, a lot of people would never believe her in the first place, and she didn't want to be in the position of having to defend her story. Nor was it likely that she and Steve would ever cross paths again. It had simply been easier to keep it to herself, to store the memories inside her special box. And inside her heart.

The phone rang and she answered it.

“I miss you,” Bobby said.

She laughed. “You just dropped me off.”

“Not true. That was hours ago. What're you doing?”

Feeling guilty, she tucked the photo of herself and Steve back into the envelope. “I just finished piano practice. How about you?”

“Trying to keep my cool—I just had a big run-in with Dad. My parents lied to me, Dana.”

“About what?” She immediately thought of Steve.

“They've always told me I could go to college anywhere I wanted, but now they're saying they can't afford to send me to Cal Tech. They're saying if I want to go to college all the way out in California, I'll have to get a scholarship. I've already been accepted at Cal Tech, pending my SAT scores,” he added hotly, “and now they're saying they can't pay for it.”

“Oh, Bobby, I'm really sorry.”

“If only I played football, I'd have it made.”

“Math majors are offered scholarships too.”

“Jocks get more offers. Steve was drowning in scholarship offers, and Dad was hanging on to every recruiter who came in the door. He managed Steve's offers like die world's most
important business deal. But as for me—well, he forgets to mention that there's no money to send
me
to college. I'm a loser, Dana. In every way, a loser.”

“You've got to start believing in yourself, Bobby. Your dreams are no less valuable than your brother's.”

“That's what I said, but Dad just called me ungrateful, said that until they knew what was happening with Steve, they couldn't commit the money to send me across the country just to go to college. He said if I stay in-state, it'll be manageable.” Bobby sounded despondent. “Let's face it, I'M never get to Cal Tech. I just wish Mom and Dad hadn't lied to me, Dana. They could have told me this a long time ago, before I got my topes up.”

“It's not the end of the world, Bobby. You'll figure something out because you're smart. And because you're just as good as Steve.”

“Listen, I'm not dissing Steve.” He sounded ashamed. “Especially now. He can't help being perfect.”

“But you can help yourself by stopping the competition. Steve's life
isn't
so perfect right now, you know.”

Bobby was silent- Finally he said, “That's why you're in my life, Dana. You keep me honest. You're right. Steve's got problems, and I just have gripes.”

“You can gripe to me anytime,” she told him.

But once she'd hung up, guilt grabbed her again. She'd been anything but honest with him. If she were honest, she'd have told him about her and Steve. Sooner or later, she might have to, because once they met again face to face, Steve might blurt out their shared history. Then again, he might not even remember it. Frankly, Dana couldn't decide which would hurt worse.

“Being Bobby's girl does have a few perk,” Terry told Dana the next day at lunch. “I mean, getting to brush up to his brother can't be too awful.”

“Did you ignore the part about the medical tests? This isn't just a quick trip home for fun, you know.”

“I know, I know.” Terry waved Dana off. “I was only looking at die bright side.” She took a sip of her soda. “I guess Brittany will ooze
out of the woodwork once she hears he's home.”

Brittany Watson had been Steve's girlfriend throughout high school but had taken a job in the area after graduation instead of going to college. “Bobby told me they broke up before Steve left for FSU.”

Terry rolled her eyes. “Like that ever stopped Brittany.”

Steve had never lacked female attention, and for all Dana knew, his life at college was filled with pretty girls. Still, for part of one summer, she had been special to him, and that was what she wanted to remember. “Bobby doesn't talk about Steve's love life,” she told Terry.

“Speaking of Bobby, here he comes,” Terry said, picking up her tray. “Grab you later.” She ducked away.

“I thought you were in class,” Dana said when Bobby crouched beside her chair.

“Hall pass. I saw you when I passed by, and since we're heading to the airport when school's out, I won't get to talk to you until later tonight. Why don't you come over tomorrow morning? I thought we could take a swim in the pool, get some lunch,”

Dana's stomach tightened. What if Steve was hanging around? “I have a piano lesson.”

“No problem. I'll pick you up at Mrs. Sherrill's.” Bobby stood. “Got to run.”

Dana watched Bobby hurry off, knowing that she had no good excuse not to go to his house on Saturday. She'd done it often since they'd been dating. She took a deep breath. There was no way she could put off the inevitable.

Steve was with his parents at the hospital when Bobby brought Dana to the house on Saturday. She breathed a sigh of relief. With a little luck, she might miss meeting up with him altogether. She quickly changed into her bathing suit and swam several laps with Bobby before they stretched out in patio chairs to soak up the sun. Even though it was October, the cool nights gave way to warm temperatures by midday.

Dana rose on her elbow and asked, “You— um, haven't said much about picking up your brother at the airport. Did it go all right?”

“Same old, same old. Mom and Dad were all over Steve and I was invisible.”

“That bad, huh?”

Bobby rolled over to look at her. “That was cold,” he confessed. “Truth is, Steve looks like he's lost weight, and he's definitely not his normal self. We didn't get to talk last night because his head hurt pretty bad. He just crawled into bed as soon as he could.”

The noise of the patio door sliding open startled them both. “We're back, bro,” said a male voice.

Dana tensed, kept her back turned.

Bobby got up. “Good. How'd it go?”

“It went. They took X rays, but the neurologist won't see the films until Monday. I'm supposed to check in Sunday night for more tests.”

“Well, come over here. There's someone I'd like you to meet.”

Dana's heart hammered. Her moment of truth had arrived. She sat up, squinting because the sun was over Steve's shoulder and it glared in her eyes.

“The girl of my dreams,” Bobby said, putting his hand on Dana's shoulder. “Dana, this is Steve, superstar of the Harrod family.”

If Steve recognized her, it didn't show on
his face. “So you're the girl Bobby's been telling me about. Glad to finally meet you.”

“I'm glad to meet you too,” she said. Her voice sounded breathy. She hoped neither of them noticed.

“I didn't lie, did I?” Bobby said. “She's something else, huh?”

She felt her face redden. “Stop it, Bobby.”

“She's something else all right,” Steve echoed.

“Look, we're going out for a burger. Want to come along, talk to me and Dana about college and all?”

She held her breath, afraid Steve would agree to come. If he did, there would be no way she could gag down food.

“Not this time,” Steve said.

“I'll go change.” Dana darted to the house and hurried to the guest room, where she'd left her clothing. Her heart in her throat, she struggled into her clothes. Steve hadn't appeared to remember her. Their time together had been forgotten, probably lost among all the other girls who had come along over the years. She had worried about nothing.

Her hand shook as she brushed her long dark hair. “It's just as well,” she said to herself. “It doesn't matter. It's better this way.”

Suddenly she was desperate to get out of the house and away from the memories seeing Steve had stirred up. She grabbed her purse, opened the door, and stopped short.

Steve was lounging against the wall in die hallway. Their gazes met. She froze. He straightened and stepped toward her. “I think we should talk, don't you, Dana Marie?”

“
aybe so,” she said, her voice barely a whisper.

“Did you know that when I got home that summer, I called all the people with the last name of Marie in the local phone book? There are four, just in case you're wondering, but none of them had ever heard of a Dana.”

She felt hot and cold all over. “I—it's my middle name.”

“No lie?”

His words stung. “No lie.”

“All I knew was that you were from this area, so I wondered why you made it hard for me to find you again. I went over things in my mind a
hundred times, trying to figure out what I'd said or done that caused you to lie to me.”

“I never lied to you.”

Steve shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “But you didn't tell me the whole truth either. How was I supposed to locate you when I never even knew your last name? “

Her rationale was beyond anything she could explain to herself, much less to
him.
“I— I don't know why. I was just sixteen. You were the hero of half the state, and I was a nobody. I never thought I'd ever see you again.” She felt hot wetness behind her eyes.
Don't cry
, she told herself silently.

“Were you dating Bobby at the same time and just wanted to mess around behind his back? Were you afraid I might drop your name to him and spoil your cheating game? “

“No! I didn't even know Bobby then. I would never cheat on him.”

“But you'll cheat on me.” Steve crossed his arms. His blue eyes looked cold. “You
are
dating my brother. Didn't you think we'd eventually run into each other somewhere along the way?”

“I—I wasn't sure you'd even remember me.”

“You're not so forgettable, Dana.”

Tears welled in her eyes. “I—I didn't believe you could care about me. You could have any girl—”

“I didn't want just
any
girl.”

She had dreamed of him saying such things to her. “If I had known—”

“Hey, what's going on here?” Bobby came down the hall, flipping his car keys. “You trying to snake my girl, bro?”

Steve turned. “Just getting acquainted,” he said easily. “Dana tells me she plays the piano.”

“Like a pro,” Bobby said.

Dana looked away, feeling like a kid caught stealing.

“You sure you don't want to grab a burger with us?”

“Not this time,” Steve said.

Bobby put his arm around Dana. “Listen, I know you'll head back to FSU as soon as you can, but when you're home this summer, maybe we can do stuff together. That is, if you can find a girl.” He grinned impishly.

Steve punched Bobby playfully on the shoulder. “I'll see what I can do.” He backed
up. “Nice meeting you, Dana. You take good care of my brother, you hear? If you don't, I'll come looking for you.”

Dana smiled weakly. She let Bobby take her hand and walk her down the hall. Her knees felt rubbery all the way to the car parked in the driveway.

Once she got home, Dana played the piano for almost two hours.