How to Get Ahead in Television (12 page)

‘It might not mean anything, Poppy; it might just mean he's a nice guy. Hey, if you do marry him, maybe you can have an ink-splot-themed wedding and recycle that dress. You looked totes amazing in it.'

STEP 23 – TRY TO KEEP YOUR WORK LIFE AND YOUR HOME LIFE SEPARATE

I
TRAVELLED INTO
work early on Monday. I wanted to be there before JR arrived. I'd been fretting about the ruined wedding dress all weekend – imagining every police siren was for me – and I was nervous about seeing JR today. I hadn't slept well, and a guy on the Tube had shouted at me for no reason; the cumulative effect was that I was in a pretty bad mood.

Rhidian was back in the post room for the week, and greeted me cheerfully as I came in.

‘Hey! Good weekend, Poppy?'

‘I guess,' I said with a sigh.

‘Ian seemed nice, by the way. Last week… when we ran into you.'

‘Oh, er… yeah.'

I did not want to get into a conversation about Ian.

‘Do you have plans tonight?' Rhidian asked.

‘Um, no.' I flicked through JR's pigeonhole to see if there was any post I could take up for him. ‘I had quite a big one on Friday.'

‘Oh, how did everything go with JR?' Rhidian asked.

‘Why, what have you heard? Did he say something? Is he here?' I said, my voice sounding panicked.

‘The run-through at the newsroom. Why?' Rhidian looked at me suspiciously.

‘Oh, the run-through, right, yes, it was good, I think,' I said.

‘Jude told me you were really impressing JR, that you'd been working really hard on this pilot.'

‘Why don't you write me up a point on your little chart?' I said, a touch too sharply.

‘Listen, Poppy, I was going to take that down; it's got a bit out of hand right, with everyone adding to it.'

‘What, just as I'm getting something right, you want to take it down? Worried, are you?' I said, but then kicked myself for being spiky because I would actually have loved him to take the stupid chart down.

‘Yeah right!' Rhidian laughed.

‘Oh, so it's because you're so confident of getting the job you're worried the chart is just embarrassing me?'

‘Well, it is embarrassing for you. I didn't think you'd want that wing mirror picture up there, constantly reminding the world what a bad driver you are.'

‘I am not a bad driver – I just can't do motorways!'

‘Look, whatever, you don't need to get angry. If you're not bothered, I'll leave it. I just figured it had gone a bit far, that's all.'

I went over to the chart and wrote:
Did a good job for JR + 1
in my column.

‘Fine,' said Rhidian, tapping a Biro against his teeth. ‘Nice email to the whole company the other night, by the way.'

‘Stop chewing all the pens!' I said, grabbing the Biro from his mouth. ‘It's disgusting.'

I stalked out of the post room. Stupid Rhidian, stupid chart, stupid me for not letting him take down the chart.

Mel was on reception doing her make-up. Stupid Mel. (God, I really needed to get this bad mood under control. What was wrong with me?)

‘Hey, Poppy, you going upstairs?' said Mel.

‘Yeah, why?'

‘When you see JR, will you tell him Kel called? She couldn't get through to his mobile.'

‘Who's Kel?' I asked.

‘Kel O'Shaunessy? The presenter?' Mel said, looking at me as though I should know this. ‘JR's girlfriend?'

‘Oh right. Sure, I'll tell him.'

I walked into the lift and, as soon as the doors closed, I jumped up and down in frustration. JR was dating Kel O'Shaunessy? Beautiful ex-model-slash-TV-presenter Kel O'Shaunessy. Of course he was. Why had I assumed he'd have any interest in a silly little girl like me? He was a gorgeous, successful TV producer; of course he would have a famous girlfriend. It was the conversation with David and Helen about him liking young blonde runners that had put the idea in my head. Stupid David. Stupid Helen. This was all their fault.

I realized that the lift hadn't actually gone anywhere, and the doors opened again at the ground floor. Dominic Green stood in reception staring at me.

‘Were you jumping up and down in there?' he asked.

‘No,' I said.

‘Don't jump in the lift, Poppy. You'll break it.'

‘Sorry.'

‘Oh, Poppy, I need to move you off
What Do They Know?
at the end of the week.'

The lift doors closed before I could ask Dominic more about where I'd be going next or why I had to move. Had JR asked for me to be transferred off the show?

Upstairs, I made a pot of coffee for JR and wrote a Post-it note saying
Kel called
to put on his desk. Jude arrived in a chatty mood. She'd been to Paris with her boyfriend for the weekend. Stupid Jude. Stupid Jude's boyfriend. Stupid Paris.

JR arrived thirty minutes later, by which time I'd managed to perfect my nonchalant ‘Morning! How are you?' greeting.

‘Morning, girls,' JR said as he strode into the office. He was wearing a checked shirt and dark-blue jeans. His dark-brown hair was tousled and messy. He'd let his stubble grow over the weekend and the whole effect put to mind a sort of
sexy city lumberjack. I had hoped my mortification at being rejected by him would translate into me not finding him so attractive, but that didn't appear to be the case.

‘You okay, Penfold?' JR asked. ‘You look peaky.'

‘Someone shouted at her on the Tube,' said Jude, to whom I'd already relayed the tedium of my morning.

‘You want me to beat them up for you?' JR offered.

‘I was walking on the left, and this guy thought I wasn't walking fast enough, so he was all “stand on the right!” and I was all, “but I'm walking” and he was all “barely!”.'

Hmm, I'm not sure that anecdote was worth telling the first time, let alone twice.

Everyone was acting normally, that was the main thing. This was normal morning chitchat. If JR had asked for me to be transferred off the production, he was being very nice about it. In any case, it was probably for the best if my obsessional crush and I were removed from his vicinity.

Then, half an hour later, as we were working away, I got an email from across the office.

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: You

You look nice today, Penfold.

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

I didn't know what this meant at all. Was he trying to make me feel better? I was wearing skinny grey jeans and a sequined T-shirt – nothing out of the ordinary. I replied:
thanks
. In the office, he kept talking to Jude and I about work things, but then half an hour later, another email:

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: You

Are you cross with me, Dangermouse?

JR

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: You

No! I'm not cross with you. What makes you say that? I made your coffee just the way you like it and everything…

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: RE: You

Good. So do you want to come to dinner with me tonight?

JR

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

What was going on? Why was he being so nice? Was this sympathy? Whatever it was, there was something quite exciting about sending secret emails across the office that no one else knew about.

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: You

That's probably not a good idea. I might throw myself at you again.

Best to limit your exposure to drunken galumphing Tinkerbell and just deal with professional trying-to-be-a-good-runner Penfold.

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: You

Maybe I've decided I like drunken galumphing Tinkerbell…

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

I looked up and caught his eye. This didn't feel like sympathy any more; this felt like something else.

‘Are you all right? You've gone bright red,' said Jude.

‘Yes, I'm just a bit hot. It's hot in here isn't it?'

‘Not really,' said Jude.

I nipped to the loo to try and de-flush my cheeks. I hated the fact that I blushed so readily. Easily overwhelmed cheek capillaries were my kryptonite. Back at my desk, another email from JR:

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: You

So are you coming tonight or not, Dangermouse?

RealiTV – because a real workforce makes real TV!

FROM
: <
[email protected]
>

TO
: <
[email protected]
>

SUBJECT
: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: You