How to speak Dragonese (2 page)

Sparrowhawk
was as lean and mean and hungry as Snotlout himself. Beautifully built out of elm wood,

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she came to a point so sharp at the prow that she sliced through the water as easily as an axe through a scallop. She was being steered by Dogsbreath the Duhbrain, Snotlout's best friend -- a great, hairy bully of a boy with a ring through his nose, who was snorting so hard with laughter that snot flew in all directions.

"Get him, Fireworm," whispered Snotface Snotlout, and his dragon, a glistening blood-red Monstrous Nightmare, leaped from Snotlout's shoulder and dive-bombed Hiccup from behind with a furious shriek.

[Image: Snotlout.]

[Image: Snotlout's friend Dogsbreath.]

Fireworm swooped down and pushed Hiccup's helmet down over his eyes with her talons. Hiccup took his hands off the rudder in surprise, and at the same moment,
Sparrowhawk

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rammed into the port side of
The Hopeful Puffin,
denting her severely.

"So sorry, Useless!" jeered Snotface Snotlout as
Sparrowhawk
sailed on, completely unhurt. "Your pathetic raft is so small we didn't see you!"

"Har har har," guffawed Dogsbreath the Duhbrain.

The ramming sent
The Hopeful Puffin
into one of her spins.

[Image: Sparrow hawk.]

For a long time she spun

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round in wobbly circles, like a confused sea urchin. Eventually, Hiccup regained control of the rudder and Fishlegs picked himself up from the bottom of the boat, moaning slightly.

The Hopeful Puffin
completed her final spin and began moving swiftly forward.

But the fog had come down again, if anything

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even thicker than before. After all that spinning, Hiccup had absolutely no idea which

direction they were facing. And when the last faint echoes of Snotlout and Dogsbreath's jeering had faded away, they sailed on in spooky silence.

"Where is everybody?" asked Fishlegs.

"Ssssh," scolded Hiccup. "I'm trying to listen."

The boys were quiet for ten long minutes.

The only sound to be heard was the lapping of water against the sides of the boat and a brisk wind filling out the sail. They were gliding along at quite a rate now, but where were they going? Hiccup and Fishlegs strained their eyes into the fog and their ears into the silence, desperate to see or hear something, anything at all.

But there was nothing.

It might have been Hiccup's imagination playing tricks on him, but it seemed to him as if the air suddenly felt just a
tiny
bit warmer, and when he trailed a finger briefly into the water it felt just a
tiny
bit less icy than it should have done. And then he got to thinking about the Summer Current and Sharkworms and a prickle of fear ran all down his back, and everywhere

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about him the drifting, ghostly fog seemed to be taking the shape of Sharkworm fins ...

"Just out of interest," asked Fishlegs casually, "how does a Sharkworm attack you, exactly?"

"Well," replied Hiccup, changing direction yet again in the hope of getting back to the safety of the bay, "Sharkworms
should
only attack if you are wounded. Even if you're not in the water they can smell the blood and that drives them crazy And then, because they have legs as well as a fishy tail, they can actually CLIMB ABOARD a ship to get you. That's where they got their nickname of Pirate Dragons,' because, although they can survive at least ten minutes in the air, they generally drag you back into the water to kill you."

"Oh,
brilliant,
" said Fishlegs, frantically checking himself all over to see if he had any grazes. "Do you think eczema counts or does it have to be an actual
cut?"

"I'm not sure," said Hiccup. "I've never actually met a Sharkworm."

"Better and better," said Fishlegs. "It's at times like this that I am
so glad
that I was born a Viking and not a Roman." (The Romans were the Vikings' deadly enemies -- a very bossy lot who wanted to take over

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the world and had jolly nearly got there.) "Think how BORING it would be to be a Roman. All those warm baths and lounging around in togas when you could be out here enjoying the fresh air and the multi-fanged blood-crazy carnivores ..."

"Ssssh," said Hiccup, changing direction for the ninth time. "Let's just see whether we can hear anything this time ..."

But again there was silence, and the splash of seawater coming over the side onto Hiccup's ankle felt definitely warm.

"I'm h-h-hungry," said a deep little voice from Hiccup's chest, and both boys jumped at the sudden sound.

The nose of Toothless, Hiccup's disobedient little dragon, poked out of the top of Hiccup's shirt, closely followed by the rest of him. He crawled sleepily up Hiccup's neck to his familiar perch on the top of Hiccup's helmet, where he shook out his wings, had a quick rummage for dragonfleas, and gave an enormous yawn, revealing a very pink forked tongue and the fang-free gums that gave him his name.

Even though he was only a Common or Garden dragon, the most ordinary of the dragon species,

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Toothless was a beautiful little creature. He was a deep emerald green in color, fading to shimmering pearl on his tummy like a mackerel, lightly sprinkled with pale brown freckles.

Enormous, innocent, grass-green eyes peered out from between absurdly long eyelashes.

Appearances, of course, were deceptive, for dragons are among the most selfish animals on the planet, and Toothless was, in fact, a shark in a baby seal's clothing.

"You can help us, actually, Toothless," said Hiccup. "This is IMPORTANT. We need to find ourselves back to the bay. We're a bit worried that we might have accidentally got ourselves into the Summer Current and we don't want to bump into any SHARKWORMS, now, do we?" Hiccup laughed nervously. "So what YOU could do is flap around and look for boats so we can get back on the right cores."

"Ask Horrorcow. Toothless h-h-hungry," said Toothless grumpily. He had woken up in a bad mood.

[Image: Hiccup and dragon.]

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Hiccup raised his eyes to the heavens before explaining patiently that Horrowcow was asleep and there was no way she was going to wake up.

Horrorcow was Fishlegs's dragon -- a nice enough beast, but she spent most of her time asleep. She was lying, sprawled full length, underneath one of the rowing benches. Fishlegs had put a coat under her head to lift it clear of the water so she didn't drown.

"T-t-toothless into m-m-moving." Toothless was in a big sulk now. "n-n-no food--no moving. Toothless on strike. Hiccup BOSSY BOSSY BOSSY. D-d-d-do this Do that. Toothless ad-d-dragon, not a slave. Work, work, work,, that's all you make poor Toothless do."

"Toothless , you've been asleep since breakfast! protested Hiccup. "And that's the most unfair thing I've ever heard. I wait on you hand and foot, you know I do. I feed you constantly, I tell you jokes, I carry you everywhere..."

"Toothless h-h-has w-w-weak wings," said Toothless pathetically.

"You woke me up FOUR TIMES last night...."

"Toothless had a n-n-nightmare." Toothless opened his big green eyes wider. "Great big fat horrible h-h-humans with BIG TEETH chasing poor

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Toothless all through his b-b-bed, want to get Toothless because Toothless is so s-s-special..."

[Image: Hiccup and dragon.]

"You wanted OYSTERS!" howled Hiccup.

"Oysters at three o'clock in the morning!"

"Oysters g-g-good for nightmares," Protested Toothless.

Hiccup ran out of patience

"You wouldn't shut up! You perched on my father's bed and said you'd screech in his ear if I didn't get them! I had to get up, dressed, go down to the Oyster Hoard in Hooligan Harbor and then

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when I got back again you wouldn't even EAT them because you said they were the wrong color or something!

"They had b-b-black bits on them," whined Toothless. "Toothless h-h-hates black hits, they're YUCKY..."

"Oh, don't be such a BIG BABY, Toothless," snapped Hiccup. "It was only bits of seaweed and even when I picked them all off you STILL wouldn't eat them!"

"I hate to interrupt," said Fishlegs nervously, "but I'm pretty certain I saw the fin of a Sharkworm over there ..."

But Toothless and Hiccup were so cross they didn't even hear. They were nose to nose, eyeballing each other. Toothless had puffed up to nearly twice his normal size and had turned an unpleasant mustardy-red color. Hiccup had forgotten you shouldn't really look a dragon in the eye for too long because their gaze is hypnotic, and he was starting to feel dizzy. But he was so angry he didn't care.

This dragon had gone too far this time.

Hiccup had HAD ENOUGH.

He was going to put his foot down.

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"I do All these things for YOU," continued Hiccup, "and EVERY now and then I ask you to do a few SIMPLE thing for ME, like catch some mackerel in a Dragon training Lesson, or look out for Sharkworms so we don't all get dragged off and torn to pieces, and what do you do? You go ON STRIKE. Well, you've gone too far this time. I've HAD ENOUGH. I'm putting my foot down. You can just GO on strike then and see if I care."

"OK then," hissed Toothless. "T-T-Toothless really will go on strike."

[Image: Dragon on strike.]

With great dignity Toothless flapped off Hiccup's shoulder and up to the top of the mast where he

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perched, muttering to himself in a furious undertone, "T-T-Toothless a BIG BABY, is he? HA! We'll SEE about that, M-M-Mister Smartypants Hiccup.

L-l-let's just find out how l-l-long you last without the help of the BIG BABY..."

"What's he doing?" asked Fishlegs.

Fishlegs didn't speak Dragonese, so he wasn't sure what was going on. "Is he listening out for boats so we can get back to the bay?"

"Er, no ..." admitted Hiccup, whose head was still spinning after the staring contest with Toothless. "We had a bit of a fight and he's gone on strike. But I've had it up to here with that dragon. He's pushed me too far too often .. . I'm drawing a line in the mud ..."

"Oh, for Thor's sake!" Fishlegs exploded. "We haven't got time for that now ... LOOK!"

Hiccup's eyes finally swam back into focus.

He looked.

The fog had shifted around, making it difficult to see, but for a moment Hiccup thought he might have glimpsed a black fin, with the jagged edge that made it clear that this was the fin of a Sharkworm, rather than that of its less dangerous relative, the ordinary shark...

"I don't think that
was
a Sharkworm, you know,

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Fishlegs," said Hiccup uncertainly. "I think it's just the fog playing tricks on our eyes ..."

But Fishlegs wasn't taking any chances. He tried to shake Horrorcow awake, but the little reptile only snored all the harder.

"We need Toothless! " panicked Fishlegs. "For Thor's sake
do
something! Apologize! Promise him something large that he can EAT!"

"You could be right," admitted Hiccup. "OK, Toothless," he called up. Through the fog he could just see the dragon-on-strike perched on top of the swaying mast. "I apologize. We need you. If you fly down and help I'll give you all my supper for the next three weeks!"

"S-s-sixty seconds," said Toothless to himself with satisfaction. "Sixty seconds and they n-n-need Toothless again."

"N-n-need listening!" he sang down, examining his talons. "H-H-Hiccup not need the help of a BIG BABY..."

"Honestly I think we're sort of OK," said Hiccup, squinting at the seas around them. "I can't see anything now and Sharkworms really are only supposed to attack if somebody has an open wound ..."

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Fishlegs was too panicked to hear what Hiccup was saying. He started yelling up the mast.

"Toooooothlessssss!"

"Not listening! Not l-l-listening!" Toothless called back with his wings over his ears.

Fishlegs shut his eyes in the hope that this wasn't really happening ... and then he opened them again.

"Listen!"
he hissed with frantic relief. "Can you hear what I hear?
Sea-dragons!"

Hiccup sat very still.

And there it was, a very faint noise of dragons shrieking.

"A Peaceable fishing boat!" said Fishlegs joyfully. "Just in time, too! This is our lucky day!" He grabbed the rudder off Hiccup and swung it hard around to face in the direction of the noise.

"Come on, come ON," Fishlegs urged
The Hopeful Puffin
as the wind caught her sails and took her swiftly forward,
"and please
don't start turning round in circles."

To Fishlegs's relief the noise of screaming dragons grew louder and louder and the gray shadowy shape of an enormous boat loomed at them out of the fog.