“Jah, of course.”
Felty took Anna’s hand and pulled her toward the concessions. “Come on, Banannie, let’s get some hot chocolate.”
Anna winked at Lily as she walked away. “Isn’t hot chocolate romantic? Warms your heart as well as your bones.”
Lily put on her coat and tucked the collar around her neck. Even inside, it felt chilly.
“Do you want some hot chocolate?” Tyler asked.
“No, thank you.”
Tyler seemed taken aback by her simple refusal. “Oh, okay.” Again, awkwardness prevailed as Tyler’s gaze scanned the crowd. Maybe he looked for someone who would accept his offer of hot chocolate. “There’s Aden,” he said. “We should go say hello.”
Lily’s heart fluttered involuntarily. She did not, under any circumstances, want to talk to Aden, but she couldn’t very well explain her reasons to Tyler. “Let’s not. We should be shunning him.”
“You know better than that, Lily. People treat him like an outcast even though that’s not how the shunning is meant to be. He needs to know that he has some true friends.”
She nodded because she suddenly couldn’t force enough air out of her lungs to speak. If she looked into those green eyes, she feared she might forget why she ever left him. Her fascination with him was too powerful. She didn’t know how strong she could be.
Tyler cupped his hand around her elbow. “Aden is determined to wring every lesson he can out of the bann. My brother says he has shown up to every gathering and singeon since the bann. He thinks he deserves to be regarded with contempt. We shouldn’t be shunning him. He’s hard enough on himself.”
Lily couldn’t breathe in or out. Did her lungs even work anymore? She didn’t want Aden to punish himself. A boy like Aden should be happy all the time.
They walked toward Aden, who busily stacked chairs and didn’t acknowledge them. Lily sensed that he was aware of their approach, as if he’d been keeping lookout for them without really looking. He stacked one more load of chairs after Tyler said his name. Then he focused his eyes on Lily, and his intense gaze made it impossible to look away.
Tyler offered his hand. Aden’s lips curled downward, and he shook his head. “You shouldn’t, Tyler. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your dat.”
Tyler kept his hand stretched out in front of him. “That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. Shunning doesn’t mean I can’t shake your hand.”
Aden sprouted a miserable, lopsided smile. “Then I don’t want you to get in trouble with Lily’s dat.”
Aden used a teasing tone, but Lily could not deny the truth. Dat would be furious if he saw his daughter conversing with a boy she had been forbidden to even speak of. She considered making an escape to the nearest exit.
Aden relented and shook hands with Tyler, and then he fell silent and resumed his unnerving habit of staring at Lily. She saw the longing, the pain in his expression as well as another emotion too deep to define.
Aden might want to stare, but Lily had to look away. She bit her bottom lip and lowered her gaze to the ground. It was a gute thing Dat had admonished her never to talk to Aden again. She couldn’t think of one word to say.
Tyler was not at a loss for topics. “Johnny Glick told me you painted his barn.”
“I want to stay busy.”
“Must have been a chilly job.”
“I don’t mind the cold.”
There was no warning of his approach. Before she had time to stop him, Dat appeared, grabbed the cuff of Aden’s sleeve, and yanked Aden away from them.
“David,” Tyler said in protest, but Dat raised his hand toward Tyler as if stopping traffic.
Aden’s face registered shock, but he let himself be led wherever Dat wanted to take him. Dat pulled Aden several feet from Lily, and even though Aden stood six inches taller, Dat waggled a finger in Aden’s face as if scolding a ten-year-old. Dat spoke in hushed tones, and Lily couldn’t hear what he said, but the rage etched into his face was plain enough. She longed for the floor to open beneath her and swallow her whole.
“Stop him, Tyler,” she whispered, when she really wanted to scream.
Tyler’s brow furrowed in worry as he stared at Aden and Dat. “I think . . . I think it will be okay.”
Okay? An angry rebuke from her dat was not okay. Why didn’t Tyler do something? He knew she didn’t dare stand up to her dat. No matter what Aden had done, her dat should leave him alone. The shunning should be punishment enough.
Aden did not appear despondent or defeated or even defiant. His expression registered earnest humility as if Dat had a valuable lesson to teach him and Aden was eager to learn it.
Less than two minutes passed before Tyler decided to intervene. Aden’s discomfort must have overcome Tyler’s desire to impress her dat. “David,” he said, loudly enough that the entire warehouse echoed, “I wanted to talk to Aden. Lily never said a word to him, and he didn’t say a word to her.”
David glowered at Aden. “I told him to stay away from my daughter. He shouldn’t have come.”
Tyler tried to placate Dat. “Aden didn’t know we would be here.”
Aden bowed his head. “Nae. David is right, Tyler. I could have steered clear of Lily if I had wanted to. I am sorry.”
Without another word, Aden trudged out of the warehouse and didn’t look back, not even to see Lily staring at him as if he were her last friend in the world.
Even though Dat dearly wanted Tyler to marry his daughter, he fixed him with a stern glare. “Tyler, I have all confidence that you will keep my daughter away from him from now on. If you want to be Aden Helmuth’s friend, I can’t stop you, but do not put my daughter in such a situation again.”
“I won’t,” Tyler said, his voice laced with contrition, because ultimately, even though he sympathized with Aden, Lily knew that Tyler wanted Dat’s approval. Tyler curled his lips into a sad smile. “I should get Lily home.”
Dat placed a firm hand on Tyler’s shoulder. “Denki for taking such good care of my daughter.”
“I promise I always will, Lord willing.”
Dat nodded in satisfaction. “Come for supper. Mary is making potato soup.” And just like that, Tyler was forgiven, once again Dat’s favorite future son-in-law.
Lily’s heart turned to ice. Both Aden and Tyler had managed to get her off the hook with her fater once again. She should have been grateful, when she only felt weak. Cowardly, helpless, and weak.
And something else occurred to her as she watched Aden slip out the door—she couldn’t shake the feeling that she had lost something so dear to her that she would never be whole again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Tyler wouldn’t have brought her here if he had known that this was where Aden’s dat proposed to Aden’s mamm. Or that this was the place where Aden had sent a thrill of electricity pulsing through her veins when he’d taken her in his arms and hauled her out of the water. Tyler wouldn’t have set foot here ever again if he knew that Lily couldn’t think of Cobbler Pond without recalling a thousand splendid memories of Aden Helmuth.
Tyler stopped the buggy a few feet from the tree where she and Aden had picnicked their first time at the pond together.
“Do you need a blanket?” Tyler asked.
Lily zipped her coat and tucked the collar around her chin. “I will be warm enough.”
Even though the air felt chilly, Tyler wiped beads of sweat from his upper lip with a shaky hand. “I probably could have picked somewhere warmer, but the pond is so beautiful at sunset,” he said, his eyes darting from the pond to Lily as if she might disappear if he looked away for too long.
Lily’s heart thudded like a sledgehammer against a slab of cement. She’d seen the proposal coming for days. Tyler had grown increasingly interested in the progress of Estee’s wedding plans, and he’d been asking Lily leading questions like would she rather live in a dawdi house or a cottage of her own. The proposal was imminent, and they were both nervous wrecks.
She would tell him yes. Of course she would tell him yes, even though Aden still haunted her dreams. Tyler was a godly man and a fitting husband. She was grateful to him for loving her, and she enjoyed his company. Love would grow in time. Even while feeling disloyal to Tyler, Lily couldn’t keep her gaze from skipping across the pond to the boulder where she had sat that day when Aden came to her rescue.
She felt guilty that her thoughts constantly strayed to Aden. Every dog immediately reminded her of dopey, lovable Pilot, who never demanded anything of her but affection. Frying pans and other cooking utensils made her think of Aden chasing bears. Balls and plates prompted thoughts of Frisbees, and seeing people’s lips reminded her of Aden’s kisses. Unfortunately, just about everybody in the entire world had lips. The memories were inescapable. Lily wasn’t even safe from litter along the road because she knew how unhappy Aden would be if he saw it.
Tyler held out his hand as if he were balancing a tray on it. Was that her invitation to take it? Lily frowned to herself. Why did things seem so unnatural with Tyler? Aden held her hand as if they were made to be together.
“I had to take the aerator back last week, but at least we had it as long as we did.”
Lily took his hand and let him lead her down to the shore where they looked out over the pond. “Jah, it is beautiful.”
She turned to Tyler and caught him staring at her. “Very beautiful,” he said.
She looked away in embarrassment. Tyler didn’t need to try so hard.
They ambled along the shore to the wooden jetty where Aden had performed a cartwheel and Pilot had knocked him into the water. A smile came unbidden to Lily’s lips. She rarely saw Aden taken by surprise. Leave it to Pilot to take his self-assurance down a notch.
Tyler, who looked as if his collar might be too tight, tugged on her hand and motioned toward the jetty.
“Nae,” Lily said. “We’ll fall in.”
Tyler immediately changed course. “Oh, jah. That’s a little too scary for you.”
Instead, he chose one of the benches surrounding the fire pit, and they sat down together. “This is a gute view of the sun setting behind the trees over there.”
She didn’t answer because she didn’t want to delay things with idle chitchat. She’d rather get the whole thing over and go home to her warm house.
Tyler cleared his throat three times. “Lily, I’m sure you know what’s on my mind. This might seem sudden, but I have been thinking of no one but you for a whole year. Ever since Rosie Schrock coupled us up for her wedding, you’re the girl I’ve wanted to marry. You are kind and generous and a hard worker. And a girl that any parent could have confidence in. Someone a husband can have confidence in.” Tyler swallowed hard and spoke breathlessly, as if he’d run a long race. “Lily, I’d be honored if you would marry me.”
Dat would be a very happy man. “Yes, I will.” Lily’s lungs didn’t seem to be taking in sufficient air and a lump the size of Jamal’s truck formed in the pit of her stomach.
Tyler smiled and wrapped his arms around her. Was he going to kiss her? Or merely give her a hug? And with a smile like that, would she end up kissing his teeth like Estee and Floyd? She didn’t want to find out. With Aden’s kisses so fresh on her lips, she wasn’t ready to be kissed by anybody else.
She turned her head to look over Tyler’s shoulder so the possible kiss turned into a friendly hug. Love would grow. She didn’t need to force anything.
Tyler didn’t seem to notice her resistance. He released his grip and stood up. “Let’s go ask your fater.”
She let him pull her to her feet. Of course it was proper to ask the father of the bride, but in this case, completely unnecessary. Tyler already had Dat’s permission. And blessing. And urging.
No potential bridegroom would ever have it so easy.
They were at Lily’s house in less than twenty minutes. A man in love wasn’t about to let the horse take a leisurely walk to Eichers’ farm.
Dat had watched them drive off with a gleam in his eye, and he greeted them at the door when they returned. “Well, look who’s back. I hope you had a pleasant drive.” With a smile that would have put the Cheshire cat to shame, he shook Tyler’s hand as if they hadn’t seen each other in ages, and he pinched Lily’s cheek as if she were four years old.
Dat’s eagerness delighted Tyler. His eyes lit up with happiness, and he and Dat wore a matching set of stupid grins. “Is there somewhere we can go to discuss an important matter?” Tyler said.
Dat thumbed his suspenders and laughed. “We can talk out here. I hold all my most important meetings on the porch.”
Lily felt a little sheepish at Dat’s eagerness. It wasn’t as if he felt relief that someone had finally come along to take her off his hands. More likely, he rejoiced that she had not followed a certain young man into Babylon.
“I will go help Mama in the . . . Estee probably needs me to . . .” Lily’s voice trailed off. Why did she feel the need to make up an excuse? All three of them knew exactly what went on, and neither Tyler nor Dat paid her any heed.
She slipped into the house and tripped down the hall to the kitchen where Mama and Estee frosted chocolate marshmallow cookies.
Mama glanced up from her work with a knife full of frosting in her fist. “So?” she said, her voice charged with anticipation.
“So.”
Mama and Estee both halted what they were doing to watch her, as if her answer would stop time altogether.
“So, as long as Dat says yes, Tyler and I are getting married.”
Mama squealed with glee, put down her knife, and pulled Lily in for an affectionate hug. “Oh, this is wonderful-gute news. I will have the two best sons-in-law in the world, and you will both live close. Not like Bertha King’s daughter, whose husband carted her off to Ohio.”
Ohio. Aden was from Ohio. Good thing she wasn’t marrying Aden. She didn’t want to be carted off to Ohio.
Estee took her turn hugging Lily, but her enthusiasm was tempered. The corners of her lips curled downward, and her expression darkened. “You are a fortunate girl. Dat adores Tyler.”
Why did Estee have to look at her like that? A giant pickup truck already sat in the pit of her stomach.
Mama took both her hands and pulled Lily to sit at the table. “How did he ask you? Was it lovely?”
“It . . . it all happened so fast,” Lily stuttered. One minute she was trying hard not to think of Aden Helmuth, and the next minute she was engaged.
Estee handed Lily a cookie from the cooling rack and sat down next to Mama. “We made your favorite.”
“Do you know when Tyler wants to get married?” Mama asked.
“We’re not sure yet. We could do it the same day as Estee and Floyd. It would be less work if we combined the two weddings.”
“How practical and unselfish,” Estee said.
Lily looked at Estee doubtfully. “Dat suggested the two weddings together. I don’t want to take anything away from your special day, Estee. We could get married in January. I don’t even mind if we wait a year.”
“Wait a year?” Mama interjected. “What a thought! Tyler won’t want to wait, and your dat won’t think it wise. But I only have two daughters. I am happy to give each of you your own wedding day.”
“I don’t mind a double wedding,” Estee said. “The real question is, what do you want, Lily?” She pinned Lily with a piercing gaze. “What do you really want?”
Lily had a suspicion that there was more to Estee’s question than just what day she wanted to get married. She lowered her eyes and picked up her cookie. She wouldn’t have to answer any of Estee’s probing questions with her mouth full.
Because her stomach felt as if it were filled with lead, she took a small bite and pretended she couldn’t talk anymore.
She heard the front door open and Dat and Tyler laughing as they came down the hall. Tyler never laughed. He must be ecstatic.
Mama leaped from the table and threw her arms around Tyler. “Congratulations. I am the happiest mother alive. First Estee, now Lily.”
“And I am the happiest man alive,” Tyler said. “I will take good care of your daughter.”
Mama and Dat laughed with delight.
Estee stood and grabbed Lily’s hand and pulled her toward the stairs. “We’ll be right back. I need to talk to Lily.”
Reluctantly, Lily let herself be led up the stairs to their room. She didn’t know what Estee planned to say, but Estee always spoke her mind, and right now, Lily didn’t want to know what she thought.
Estee practically slammed the door before she whirled around and glared at Lily. “I can’t believe you would do this.” She kept her voice to a whisper, sounding all the harsher.
Lily took a hearty bite of her cookie. “Do what?” she attempted to ask with her mouth full.
“I saw how interested Tyler was, even before that whole mess with Aden, but I never thought you would encourage him. I want to kick myself for not saying something sooner.” Estee threw up her hands. “Oh, Lily, how could you marry someone just to please Dat?”
Lily swallowed the large piece of cookie in her mouth. “It’s not for Dat.”
Estee’s voice ripened into bitterness, even as she whispered, “Oh, really? Then are you marrying Tyler for his money? Because you certainly don’t love him.”
Lily folded her arms and looked away as her eyes began to sting. “What do you know about it?”
“Plenty.” Estee began pacing the room, no doubt gearing up for her most impressive lecture ever. “I know that when I think of Floyd, I feel giddy and giggly and I want to be with him every minute. I know that when we’re not together, I think about him with every breath I take. I love him. Can you say the same about Tyler?”
Lily ignored the ache in her chest. “He adores me. And I am fond of him. He is a godly man who will be good to me and give me a good home and never let harm come to me. Dat and I both see his value. Love doesn’t hit everybody like a speeding freight train. I don’t have to rush my feelings for him. They’ll come naturally, over time.”
“Does Tyler know you don’t love him?”
“I’m fond of him.”
Estee pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. “Tyler doesn’t deserve this, Lily.”
Lily was mere seconds away from tears. The ache in her chest spread to fill her body, sure to overflow with the least provocation. She walked to the window and stared into the pasture as if all her answers were out with the cows.
Estee followed her to the window, grabbed her shoulders, and forced Lily to look at her. “You kissed Aden. You love Aden. He’s your Floyd, Lily. Will you trade a lifetime of happiness for Dat’s approval and a nice, predictable husband?”
Lily couldn’t hold back the floodgates any longer. The tears ran down her cheeks as Estee led her to the bed and they sat. Estee enfolded her in an embrace and nudged Lily’s head to rest on her shoulder.
“I’m so confused, Estee. Aden is fun and exciting, but Dat says my interest was only a fascination. The night of my arrest, I saw how far I had fallen, how my feelings for Aden had stolen my good judgment.”
“You loved Aden enough to muster a little courage. Just because it ended badly doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.”
“How do I know if I loved him or was just caught up in the excitement of it? I’m too young to be sure of such things. Can you blame me for taking hold of Dat’s advice? He’s been through this. He saw where Zeke’s choices led. Dat’s wisdom is the only thing I can be sure of.”
“You can be sure of Aden’s love and God’s love.”
“But I can’t be sure of my own heart. The only times I get into trouble are when I’m incautious.”
“Was getting arrested bad enough to throw away the rest of your life?”
Lily broke into full-blown sobs. “Don’t say that, Estee. I’m doing the right thing, and the right thing isn’t always the easy thing.”
Estee sighed in resignation and smoothed a piece of hair from Lily’s face. “Don’t cry. This should be one of the happiest days of your life.”
“It is,” Lily lied. Maybe Estee would leave her alone.
Estee gave Lily one last squeeze and stood up. “You should flip some water on your face before we go downstairs. Tyler will want to see how deliriously happy you are.”
Lily nodded and sniffed away the remaining tears.
Estee nudged Lily up and smoothed the covers of her bed. “You won’t hear another word about this from me. You’ve made your bed. Now you can lie in it.”