Human Shifter (Book Three: A Werewolf BBW Shifter Romance) (6 page)

CHAPTER EIGHT

Damien

It was strange to wake up blind. The first time Damien had gone to sleep after the fight, he'd been worried. It was the first time he would be going to sleep as a blind man. He worried that he wouldn't wake up, or wouldn't know that he had woken up. What kind of reality is around you when you can't see? He stayed awake for what seemed like forever that night, feeling the pus seep from his eyes, knowing that blackness was all he would ever know again. He slipped into unconsciousness in jags, his breaths coming fitful and harsh until he fell, finally, into slumber.

Sometimes he would catch a scent of pine as he dreamt, and reality felt no more real than the dream when he woke and caught the same scent in the air.

Today when he woke up, Julia was there. He knew because of the smell of violets. He inhaled deeply, then winced as a searing pain shot through his ribs. The fall. Julia.

"Julia
?" He reached out with his hands, his balance failing him, still woozy from the sleep and the fall. The fall.

"I'm here," she said, and it was her voice that gave him confidence that he had not died. At the sound of her voice, her presence overwhelmed him, even before she took his hands between hers, the small fingers wrapping around his palm.

"Am I alright?"

"Yes, you just broke a leg," she said. "And you're a bit banged up. You fell quite a way. Mara said it was more than thirty feet. It's lucky—"

"Mara?" Damien interrupted Julia as soon as his brain understood the name.

"Yes. She brought you back."

His attention narrowed.

"Mara? Where is she?"

"Downstairs," Julia said.

Damien tried to remember what had happened. He'd been looking for Mara, yes, and he'd found her. And they'd fought—

"Can you have her come up?" Damien asked. He spoke casually, but his mind was racing. "I want to speak with her."

The pressure of Julia's hands lifted as she rose to go, and Damien shivered.

"Julia?" he said. She stopped midstride.

"Yes?"

"I love you," he said. Damien cast back in his memory. He'd been backing up, and Mara had pressed him back over the ledge. Or had he slipped? He didn't know.

But Mara was still here at the house! She hadn't run away to tell any other pack about Julia, and Julia was safe. That's what mattered. Damien willed himself to calm down.

Mara's step was heavy on the stairs, and Julia and Dee followed her in.

"Damien, this pup has some answering to do," Dee said.

"I won't answer to you," Mara said.

"No, but you'll answer to me." Damien's voice was soft yet stern. The room stilled. Julia shifted her weight nervously, the boards creaking under her feet.

"What do you need me to answer for?" Mara asked.

"For going outside of the territory. For attacking me. To name two."

"I was only playing," Mara said, whining lowly. "I thought Kyle was still after me until you got close enough for me to scent."

"And you still attacked."

"I thought the pack's leader should be able to handle a bit of nip and tag," Mara said, challenge in her voice. "Apparently I was wrong."

"That's all it was?" Damien asked. He inhaled deeply, smelling the scents of the room. It would be better if Julia and Dee were gone, but he could still pinpoint Mara's unique scents. She was being aggressive, even now, a faint whiff of fight in her. And there was something underneath the toughness that was subtler to pick out. He'd been worried about betrayal, and perhaps that was a possibility here, for he smelled fear under her words. Fear that she would be found out?

"Regardless, our leader has a broken leg now, and it's due to you," Dee said, her words dripping as though from bared fangs.

"I apologize for that," Mara said. "It was ... a regrettable accident." Dee exhaled a hiss of a breath at her words.

"Regrettable indeed," Damien said. "Thank you for your apology; I accept it."

"Then if there's nothing else, I'll go help with dinner," Mara said, turning to go even as she spoke.

"There is something," Damien said.

"Yes?"

"Make sure you stay inside the territory lines," Damien said. "If anyone scouts outside of our bounds, it's only on my command."

"I'm certain your boys will be keeping an eye on me," Mara said.

"Promise.

"Yes, of course," Mara said. Damien let a moment pass, and then he nodded. She turned briskly and left.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Dee exploded.

"How dare she speak that way to you? The smart aleck pup! I ought to turn her over my knee and give her a good whipping."

"She's had plenty of those already from Trax," Julia said softly.

Dee fell silent to the reply from her granddaughter, and Damien let himself open up to Julia's emotions now, to feel as she felt. Hurt and pain, and longing, still longing. He closed his mind to her; the pain was too much.

"Damien," Dee said. "She's not a member of the pack. There's something dark about her, something dangerous."

"Do you think she would betray us?" Damien said.

"I think she will challenge you."

"As leader?" Damien chuckled. "I thought I had to look out for a challenge from you, Dee, not her!"

"There have been packs led by females," Dee said, her voice serious. "It wouldn't be the first time."

"If it happens, then it happens," Damien said. "And you can all test out the idea of having a female alpha. But I'm not worried about a traditional challenge."

"What, then?" Julia spoke up.

"I'm worried that she's not telling us everything," Damien said. "I'm worried that she may yet want to go back to Trax's pack, or what's left of it, and tell them what she knows."

"Then why are we talking?" Dee said, her voice bright with anger. "The pup nearly killed you, Damien. Get rid of her."

"How?" Julia asked. Her shock pierced his mind and electrified his nerves with its intensity. "You can't! You couldn't ... "

"We're not doing anything with her anytime soon," Damien said. "Not now. Not until we know for sure."

"The girl's a danger," Dee said. So stubborn, the old woman was. He'd think she was a mule if he didn't know she was a wolf.

"Perhaps. So keep an eye on her," Damien said.

"If you think I'm not already—"

"Keep a
close
eye."

"That's it?" Dee seethed with frustration. "Watch her tear this pack apart?"

"Kyle and Katherine should move out to their cabin," Damien continued, ignoring her protest. "She and Mara don't know how to get along yet."

"I doubt Mara could get along with anyone unless they knocked her head in," Dee grumbled.

"Dee—" Julia said.

"We'll get Mara her own shelter soon," Damien said. "But for now, I want her close."

"I'll do my best," Dee said.

"Then I have confidence that everything will go well," Damien said. Dee left, closing the door behind her. Julia sank next to Damien on the bed, laying her body out alongside his. Despite the numbness induced from the painkillers, the touch of her body so close to his sent vibrations from his head to his toes. He exhaled all of the stress of the morning and let himself open up to her emotions.

... hurt. My love is hurt, he aches ...

Her sympathy was like a soft bath of calmness, and her love permeated his body. He breathed deeply, letting the pain in his leg ebb away into the back corners of his consciousness.

"Everything will be fine," he said, kissing her brow.

"I know," she said.

...
need to go. Need to find her ...

Damien squeezed Julia's hip, trying to distract her from her thoughts. It was hard, now that he could read her so clearly, not to respond to her directly. Instead, he let himself drift into pure sensation, reveling in the warmth of her body against his skin now that she was nestled in his arms. Soon, her thoughts quieted down and he could hear her heartbeat.

"Did you figure out what classes you were going to take?" Damien asked.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Julia rolled over on her side. "I signed up for three of them and got all of the books today. American Literature, Creative Writing, and An Introduction to Philosophical Fiction."

"Philosophical fiction?"

"Like
No Exit
," Julia said. "Or
Candide
."

"I don't know what those are, but I assume they're very philosophical," Damien said, grinning at Julia's earnest tone.

"I've already read a lot of the books, but I'm excited about the creative writing one. I haven't written anything in ... gosh, I don't know how long!"

"It's not too bad," Damien said.

"You said you were a writer when we first met," Julia said, her fingers creeping along the edge of the sheet, tickling his side. "So where's your typewriter?"

"That's all a ruse to pick up pretty girls," Damien said. "I've only written a couple of books."

"That's a couple more than most people have written," Julia said, laying her head back down on his chest. "You said they were about folklore?"

"I wrote down some of the legends of our pack," Damien said. "Not
our
pack, I mean. My old pack. The one I left after I was blinded."

"You wrote about shifters?"

"Not exactly. I had to change a few parts of the stories. But yes, in an abstract sense, it was about all of the lore behind shifters."

"Will you tell me some stories sometime?" Julia asked. Her thoughts were beginning to creep back into Damien's mind.

... he'll tell stories. Children's stories. When we have a child ...

"Sure." Damien smiled. "There are plenty of stories to tell. Like the one about Rak's knife and the three coyotes of hell."

Julia laughed.

"Oh, that reminds me of a show ... what was that actor's name? From the show?"

... Tristan Grey ...

"Tristan Grey," he said, repeating the words he'd heard float through her mind. As soon as he said the name he knew he'd made a mistake.

"Tristan." Julia's focus snapped to attention and her fingers froze, pressing down on his chest.

... my thoughts. He's reading my thoughts ...

"What is it?" Damien asked, trying to act casual.

"How did you know that name?"

"I don't know. Maybe I watched that show a long time ago?"

"It wasn't a TV show," Julia said, her fingers curling back under her hand in retreat, her breath heavy. "That was a school play."

"A play?" Damien said helplessly.

"Coyotes. We all played coyotes. Tristan was one of the coyotes along with me. You knew his name. How? I never told you his name."

"Julia—"

"I never told you his name!" Her voice was frantic, now, her thoughts more so.

...
Lied, he lied to me. Liar. LIAR!
...

"Julia, I'm sorry." Damien grasped her arms, trying to soothe her.

"Don't—don't!" Julia slid backwards, off of the bed. Damien lifted his leg to get out of bed before a shooting pain reminded him that it was broken.

Lied. Liar. He knows. He knows everything.

"Julia, let me explain."

Liar. Out. Have to get out.

"I don't want to be here," Julia said. "I don't ... I don't want to be around you right now." Her footsteps slipped backward, toward the door. He reached his hand out helplessly.

"Please don't—"

LIAR
.

"I can't, Damien!" Julia's voice choked on the words. "I just ... I can't."

Betrayed. Liar. Knows. Out.

Damien listened to her steps as she flew down the stairs. The door slammed shut behind her and her presence faded from his senses. He leaned his head back against the pillow. Hurt and anger pulsed through his veins as intensely as if he had felt the emotions himself. He was a fool. She wouldn't want to talk to him again, and who could blame her?

The pain was too much, and Damien's hand scrambled for the pills Jordan had left for him on the side table. He gulped them down and waited until the blood stopped pounding in his ears. Julia had left, and he was alone now, so alone that he could not sense any edges of the reality around him. He did not want to.

The pills worked quickly, and the dark edges of the world blurred and enveloped him. He slipped into the emptiness gratefully.

CHAPTER NINE

Julia

Julia left the house in a fury. Having him know every nuance of her emotion was bad enough, but he'd been reading her thoughts without telling her! Hot tears welled up behind her eyes as she stormed down the porch steps and across the lawn. She didn't know where she was going, only that she had to get out.

The sun did not reach through in the thickest parts of the forest, and Julia ended up on a small trail that led down to where the dense firs branched over a stream. Balancing precariously, she clambered up the side of a boulder and sat down. The boulder overlooked the water, and Julia closed her eyes, letting the rest of her senses feel the forest as Damien would feel it. The soft bubbling of water over stones. The birds calling from one tree to another; a woodpecker at work not far off in the distance. A rustling of leaves, the slow creak of branches moved by the invisible wind overhead.

"Are you following me too?"

Julia snapped her head around and saw Mara standing just a few feet downstream, her arms crossed.

"What—where is ... " Julia looked around. Someone should be here.

"Jordan is just over the hill by his shelter, don't worry," Mara said. "Everybody's got their eye on me."

"That's not why I came here," Julia said. "Sorry, I didn't even know this was where you were."

"Why, then?" Mara cocked her head curiously. Julia didn't know how to respond, but when she didn't say anything Mara leapt up nimbly onto the rock next to her.