Kougar's fingers slid to the back of her neck, and he leaned down to place a soft kiss on her mouth, his lips warm and sweet, the kiss surprisingly tender. Slowly, he pulled back, tracing her cheek with his thumb, the longing she felt to return to those long-lost days mirrored in his eyes. Pulling her against him, he held her as together they watched their much younger selves slowly disrobe and join in a straining tumble of need and love.
Inside, she felt the mating bond creak and groan as it untwisted a little more.
"Kougar . . ." But as she started to pull back, he disappeared from her arms.
She stood alone in the sunny glade, the summer warmth beating down on her naked flesh despite the fact she wasn't really there. Her gaze slid over the pair in the grass, watching Kougar drive into her body with long, slow strokes, their gazes locked in a powerful vise of love.
If they could hear her, if she could walk over there, interrupt their lovemaking, and warn them of the future, what would she say? At that point, the damage was already done, the poison already sewn into their mating bond, waiting to attack.
What would she say? What would have happened if she'd taken another path after that attack and run straight to Kougar for help?
She'd never know.
With a shake of her head, she locked on to him and followed, materializing in a place, for once, she didn't remember.
Had he finally left her memories and entered a real dream?
Kougar reached for her, taking her hand in a room of some sort, the walls intricately carved, but plain stone and windowless, the ceiling high. It reminded her of a cave. Or a temple.
In the middle of the room, thick stone pillars circled what appeared to be a pool of water. The darkness was broken only by the flickering flames of small fires set in stone pots and placed between each pair of pillars, the fire casting eerie shadows on the walls.
Kougar's hand squeezed hers. "What is this place?"
"I don't know." The carving reminded her of the earthbound Temple of the Queens, the Ilinas' primary home before the attacks that had forced them into the clouds and the Crystal Realm. But the temple's chambers were decorated with beautiful inlays of gold and jewels, not simple stone.
Ariana shook her head. "This has to be a real dream. It's not one of my memories. I've never been here before."
Kougar's gaze jerked to hers. "Then who's that?"
She followed the direction he pointed, sliding away from him to peer around the pillar that blocked her view of whatever . . . or whoever . . . he was looking at. A woman. In a soft white gossamer gown, she knelt beside one of the stone pots on the other side of the pool and lit it.
Chills danced over her flesh as she stared at the woman. At herself. As she watched, the woman began walking slowly around the pillars, chanting softly in the ancient Ilina tongue. A prayer to the queens of old.
A prayer Ariana had never heard before.
"I like the gown," Kougar said. His warm hand touched her shoulder, then gripped tighter. "You're shaking. What's the matter?"
She stared at her other self. "I don't remember this place. I don't know the prayer she's saying.
I don't remember.
"
"It's been a long time."
"No," she said sharply. "We don't forget. Ilinas never forget anything. Our brains don't work that way."
How could she have forgotten so much? The place, the chant. The very fact that she'd once been there.
Her heart began to race with the implications. She swung to Kougar. "Ilinas are born knowing much of what we'll need to know in life." She was starting to feel light-headed and sick to her stomach. "Upon my
awakening,
I received the knowledge of the ancient queens. All the spells, all the magic, all the memories. It was . . . downloaded . . . right into my head. Everything that had been learned. Everything the race needed to know to continue."
He watched her sharply. "You never told me this."
"We didn't do a lot of talking in those days, did we?" She lifted her hands, raking her hair back from her face. "How many times did Brielle ask me if there wasn't something in the old knowledge that could help us? Over and over I assured her there wasn't. If there had been,
I'd have remembered.
"
She stared at him, understanding like a blade to the heart. "This is Hookeye's doing. The attack . . . the poison . . . was more insidious than I'd ever imagined.
How much have I forgotten?
"
Kougar turned her to face him, his grip tight on her shoulders. "If the poison was designed to make you forget, then there were things Hookeye didn't want you to remember. You have to get that knowledge back."
She shook her head. "I don't think I can."
Olivia paused in Kara's doorway. As the Radiant, Kara had her own palatial bedroom on the second floor, though from what Olivia was coming to understand, she slept in Lyon's room. The Radiant's bedroom had become the unofficial hangout of the Feral wives.
Olivia hesitated. Delaney and Kara were both sitting in the middle of the huge bed, Delaney crying, Kara offering comfort. And Olivia, Jag's mate for only a couple of days, was still too new to the sisterhood to feel comfortable walking in on a private moment. But before she could decide whether or not to turn away, Kara glanced up and saw her, a look of welcome blooming on her face.
"Hi, Olivia."
"Am I interrupting?"
"Not at all. In fact, I was just getting ready to come find you." Though her expression was grave, an odd, out-of-place smile played at her mouth.
Delaney wiped her damp cheeks with her hands, the same odd expression on her face. Clearly the worst hadn't happened, yet--that Delaney had ceased being able to feel Tighe through their mating bond. He was still alive.
Kara wrinkled her nose. "We're Therian-knowledge challenged."
Delaney made a sound that was almost a laugh, but when her gaze met Olivia's, her eyes gleamed like smoky brown topaz. "How does a Therian know . . . if she's pregnant?"
Olivia stared at Delaney, her mouth dropping open. "You?"
Delaney nodded.
Kara leaned forward. "Will a human pregnancy test work? I mean, she used to be human. What about a blood test?"
Olivia shook her head, understanding the strange expressions on the women's faces. Such joy mixed with the terrible knowledge that the father's life hung in the balance. "There's no need for a test." She looked at Delaney. "You already know. Within a few weeks of conception, a Therian mother always knows." She sank down on the bed beside Delaney. "You know."
Delaney's mouth compressed, her eyes brimming with a damp wealth of joy and sorrow. "Yes. A little boy. I know." A tear escaped and started to roll down her cheek. "Tighe knows."
"Through the mating bond?"
She nodded, the tears running faster. "The moment I felt my son, I felt Tighe's wonder, his absolute euphoria. Moments later, both dissolved in devastation." She choked on a sob. "He doesn't think he's ever going to see him."
Delaney shot off the bed, pacing to the window, a tense bundle of nerves. "I can't stand this waiting, this feeling him die." She whirled back to the two women, dashing away the tears running down her cheeks. "I'm going back to Harpers Ferry. I know he's not actually there, but I feel like he is. And if he dies . . ."
The field where the vortex had opened was almost certainly the place his body would be spit out.
There was nothing any of them could do but hope the Ferals found that Mage, Hookeye, and a cure for the poison that would allow Queen Ariana to save Hawke and Tighe. While there was still time.
Awake again, Kougar dressed quickly, his mind spinning from all he'd seen, from all he'd learned. His blood raced with the possibilities. Almost as quickly as Ariana announced there was no way to reclaim the ancient memories, she'd backpedaled, realizing she no longer knew what was and wasn't possible.
And he was hoping this was the miracle they'd prayed for, that within those lost memories lay the answer to saving Hawke, Tighe, and the Ilinas. And himself.
"I need to go to the Crystal Realm." Ariana pulled her jeans over her hips and zipped them up. "I have to talk to Mel and Brie."
"Call them here. To the backyard. I want Lyon to hear this, too."
"This isn't your concern." Her words dismissed him, annoying the hell out of him.
As she reached for her shirt, Kougar grabbed her arm, startling a gasp out of her as her gaze snapped to his.
He didn't say anything. He didn't have to.
Her eyes flashed. "Right. Your friends, your concern." Her tone was clipped, but her expression eased with a wry twist of her lips. "It's a hard habit to break."
Kougar's grip loosened, and he ran his hand up and down her arm, knowing he'd gripped her too hard. "Break it."
They finished dressing in silence, and he ushered her out of his room and down the stairs. As they reached the foyer, he hesitated, half-tempted to tell her to go call her maidens while he went in search of Lyon. But that required a trust he just didn't have. Instead, he took her hand as he went in search of Lyon. He found his chief in his study, working at his desk.
"We may have a lead," Kougar said, when Lyon looked up. "Ariana needs to speak with Brielle. And Melisande."
Lyon scowled.
"She'll call them to the backyard. I thought you might want to be there."
"I do." Lyon came around the desk. "Is Melisande really necessary?"
"Yes." As the three strode down the wide hallway, Kougar filled Lyon in. "We think Ariana has lost some chunks of memory--racial memory passed down from one queen to another--either as a direct result of the Mage attack or a secondary result of the poison. Either way, if she can retrieve that memory, she may be able to find an answer that could help them. And us."
They strode through the large dining room where the long dining table sat before a wide bank of windows overlooking the thickly treed backyard. Lyon yanked open the door and, together, they stepped out onto the sunny brick patio. Birds called to one another as the midday sun beat down warmly despite the mild temperature of the air.
Kougar glanced at the woman at his side. The sun glowed in her dark hair, setting it afire with red and gold highlights, drilling him with her beauty. "Call them, Ariana."
Lyon pulled one of his knives, holding it at his side with a warrior's stillness. Kougar didn't believe Melisande would attack again, but there was never any telling with that one. Moments later, Ariana's two lieutenants misted into place on a pine-scented breeze.
Melisande drew her sword, her gaze locked on Lyon.
"Ease down, Mel," Ariana snapped.
Brielle's gaze fastened on her queen. "What's the matter?"
Ariana waited for Melisande to sheathe her sword, then told them what they'd seen--the temple, the prayer. "Where is that place?"
"The Temple of the Queens, the lowest chamber, below the altar of life. Only you could go down there." Brielle frowned. "You don't remember."
"No. I've lost memories. I don't know when, or how many."
Melisande scowled.
Brielle gripped Ariana's arm. "From the time of your awakening until the attack, you returned to the temple and lit the fires in the Chamber of Life every equinox. I thought you stopped going after the attack because it was too hard on you when you could no longer turn to mist."
Ariana shook her head. "I stopped going because I didn't remember I needed to. So the memories have been gone from the beginning."
Melisande looked at her sharply. "What else have you forgotten?"
"That's the question, isn't it?" Ariana murmured.
Melisande's hand stroked the hilt of her sword, her gaze flicking to Lyon and back to her queen.
Kougar met Lyon's gaze, a fine tension running between them.
"I have to request the wisdom of the queens again," Ariana stated.
Brielle gasped. "It's forbidden for any but a new queen to request an
awakening.
"
"Has anyone ever tried? More importantly, has a queen ever tried?"
Melisande snorted softly. "Only you would know that. Or would have, at one time."
"I have to try. It's our only hope."
Brielle's hands twisted together. "Ariana, Morwun's magic is powerful, even now. It might force you . . ."
"To turn to mist." Ariana looked up, eyes closed, as if seeking guidance from the heavens. "He knows, Brielle. Hookeye knows I live. I have no doubt he'll strike again, and when he does, we'll lose." Lowering her face, she speared her lieutenant with a steely gaze. "We have this one chance. We have to take it."
"I agree," Melisande said.
Ariana's gaze snapped to Kougar's. "Wish me luck."
Her words registered a split second too late. Kougar lunged forward. "I'm going with you." But the words weren't even out of his mouth before she'd touched her moonstones and was gone.
As the other two Ilinas turned to mist, Kougar growled, "Melisande, take me with you."