“They became night predators,” Alex said slowly.
“Essentially, yes,” Marguerite agreed, “although, it wasn’t by choice. They had come from a cultured society and didn’t suddenly become ravening animals. They hunted and fed, but most tried not to unduly harm the neighbors and friends they were forced to feed on.”
“And the mind control and—?”
“More abilities the nanos brought about,” Marguerite said with a shrug. “It makes it easier to hunt and live without the constant threat of discovery if the chosen donor does not fight or even recall being bitten. Understandably, people do not like to be prey.”
“No, I suppose not,” Alex said dryly, and then tilted her head and returned to an earlier point. “You said you were born mortal.”
“Yes. I was turned as a teenager,” Marguerite said quietly.
“There were no syringes or doctors capable of shooting you up with nanos in 1265,” Alex pointed out.
“No there weren’t. My sire turned me by biting his wrist open and pressing it to my mouth so that I would drink his blood and the nanos with it. It is how most mortals are turned even today.”
Alex wrinkled her nose with disgust at the thought. “Why? I mean I understand you had to then, but nowadays there
are
syringes and there is no need for that kind of barbaric nonsense.”
Marguerite smiled faintly. “But it has become tradition.”
“A painful one,” Alex inserted dryly.
“Yes, but then the turn itself is painful, and I think your sister would agree that the pain Mortimer suffered tonight was little enough compared to that she is now suffering in the turn. Besides, there is some suspicion that sharing the same nanos gives an added connection, although no one has proven it yet.”
Alex simply stared at her, barely hearing the last part. Her mind had stopped at the “I think your sister would agree that the pain Mortimer suffered tonight was little enough compared to that she is now suffering in the turn” part. The words echoed inside her head as she recalled Sam’s agonized shrieks and the way she’d thrashed on the bed. Lifting haunted eyes, to Marguerite, she asked shakily, “Sam isn’t—?”
“Yes, dear. Sam is turning,” Marguerite said solemnly.
Alex started to jerk to her feet, but just as quickly found herself sitting back down. Not under her own power.
Marguerite patted her hand gently. “Sam chose to turn, Alexandra. It was not forced on her. She loves Mortimer. They are true life mates and she wishes to share her life with him.”
Alex stared at her blankly, her mind only comprehending that Sam was now a vampire too, or would be once the turn was finished.
“She will still be Sam,” Marguerite assured her. “She will simply not grow ill, and not age. She will also probably fill out a bit.”
Alex blinked. “Fill out?”
“Well, she is unhealthily thin,” Marguerite pointed out. “I suspect some sort of thyroid malfunction.”
“Mother was always dragging her to doctors about that, but they couldn’t find anything wrong,” Alex said faintly.
“There is much doctors do not yet know, but the nanos are programmed to get their hosts to peak condition and keep them there,” she reminded her. “I do not think Sam has ever been at her peak. She will be soon.”
Alex simply sat there, too stunned by the news that her sister would soon be a vampire to say or even really think anything for a moment, but then she asked, “When did she decide to turn?”
“What you really want to know is how long she knew about us and did not tell you,” Marguerite said quietly.
Alex didn’t comment but knew that was really what she wanted to know. She was feeling a bit betrayed at the moment. Sam should have told her.
“She could not if she wished to stay with Mortimer, and Sam would not have been allowed to retain the memory had she chosen not to stay with him,” Marguerite said firmly, and then added, “And she has known since the cottage last summer but has only recently agreed to the turn.”
When she fell silent, Alex glanced to her curiously to see a brief struggle taking place on the woman’s face, and then Marguerite grimaced, and merely said, “However, you should not allow the fact that Sam is one now to influence your decision.”
“What decision?” she asked with a start.
“As to whether you are willing to accept Cale as your life mate and turn as well.”
She blanched at the suggestion. “Become a vampire?”
“No, an immortal,” Marguerite said with exasperation. “And please do not spout that nonsense about their being the same thing. I know you no longer think that way now that I’ve explained matters.”
Alex stilled.
“You are not afraid of me anymore, Alex. Nor are you afraid of Cale now that you understand the basis of what we are.”
“Yes I am,” Alex said quickly, but could hear the lack of conviction in her voice.
“No, dear, you aren’t,” Marguerite said firmly. “I can read your mind, and I know you aren’t afraid of us anymore … at least not physically afraid. The fear only returned at the suggestion of being Cale’s life mate.”
“So which is it? Am I afraid, or not?” Alex asked dryly, and really wanted to know what the woman thought. She was pretty confused at the moment herself and unsure what she was feeling. Marguerite was right, she had begun to relax and stop fearing them all as she understood things. But the moment Marguerite had mentioned being Cale’s life mate, abject terror had rushed through her.
“I believe you
are
afraid, but only of Cale, and not that he would hurt you physically, but that he could emotionally.” Marguerite said gently, “You’ve come to love him, dear. I can read and feel it in your memories and thoughts. You recognized from the first that he was special, that you could come to care for him. You used needing to keep a professional footing between you as an excuse to protect yourself but couldn’t make yourself stay away as you felt you should and found excuses to see him every day. But you find it impossible to believe that he could love you,” Marguerite said sadly. “For all that you are an attractive, intelligent, and successful woman … for some reason you don’t think you are worthy of love.”
Alex swallowed a sudden lump in her throat and blinked her eyes rapidly as she felt them fill with tears. Marguerite’s words had certainly struck a chord.
“I think perhaps you need to stop and ask yourself why,” she said solemnly. “Who made you think you were not worthy of love? Who said that to you? ”
Alex didn’t have to think hard, her mind immediately raced back to culinary school and her first experience with adult love. A train wreck to be sure, she thought on a sigh. But surely that couldn’t be affecting her still?
“I believe it compounded something that was already growing within you, an irrational fear I think, but that doesn’t make it any less scary. You’ll have to search farther back for it, and I’ll leave you to do it. You have a lot of thinking to do. You need to know what made you the way you are today before you can move past it and accept all that Cale has to offer you. He does loveyou, Alexandra. I promise you that. And he can’t read or control you. The two of you could share a wonderful life together if you can only accept that love. But you shall have to sort out and confront your past to do it.”
Alex watched silently as the other woman stood and moved across the room, but stood abruptly herself when Marguerite opened the door to reveal Bricker carrying a limp Cale past. She hurried to the door but was brought up short at the sight of him. His injuries looked even worse in light than they had out on that dark road … and she’d just left him there, she thought with shame. This was a man who had been nothing but considerate and loving to her, and she’d left him to fend for himself in the middle of nowhere in that condition.
“You thought him a monster,” Marguerite said quietly. “It was unfortunate, but understandable under the circumstances. He will not hold it against you.”
Alex started to move to follow Cale, but her feet stopped almost at once and turned her back into the room, carrying her to the chair she’d just left. Marguerite had taken control again.
“I will help Bricker with Cale. The best thing you can do for him right now is sort yourself out so that you can love him as he deserves,” Marguerite said from the door, as Alex found herself sitting down. “I should warn you that you have to be certain of your decision when you make it. It is irreversible. Should you choose not to be Cale’s life mate, all memories of him will be removed from your mind, and you will never see him again lest the sight of him makes those memories return.”
The door closed on that note, and Alex found herself suddenly able to move again. She stood at once, but then simply sat back down. They would just take control of her and send her back. Besides, she had a great deal of thinking to do.
Cale opened his eyes and peered at the ceiling
overhead, waiting for the pain to return and consume him as it had every other time he’d woken in this room during the last several hours. Nothing happened. The pain was gone. He was briefly relieved, but then thought he’d better be sure before getting too excited. He tried moving various limbs and digits to test for pain, but froze and glanced to the side as a rustling reached his ears.
“You’re awake.” Alex sat forward in the chair beside the bed.
He took in her tentative smile with surprise, and then scrambled to sit up, forgetting all about his concern that the pain might return. “You’re here.”
“Yes.” She hesitated and then asked, “Do you want me to leave? I’ll understand if you’re upset with me for leaving you—”
Cale caught her hand when she stood up. “No. Stay.”
He held on to her until she sat back down, and then patted her hand, and assured her, “I am not angry about that. It must have been terrifying for you when you saw my fangs. I handled the whole thing badly. I should have sent you away before—”
“You’d just been in a terrible accident, Cale,” she interrupted. “You were hardly thinking straight. I should have at least stuck around long enough to be sure you were all right and allow you to explain.”
“I take it someone else has explained while I was recovering? “ he asked.
Alex nodded. “Marguerite.”
Cale sent a silent thank-you to the woman. It was a relief not to have Alex looking at him as if he were a monster anymore. He suspected it would be a long time before he forgot the horror that had blanched her face when he’d allowed his fangs to slide out and torn into the bag of blood. It was one of the very few times in his life he’d felt like the fiend his kind were proclaimed to be.
He glanced back to her now to see that she was peering down at her hands, twisting them nervously in her lap. The sight made him frown. While Marguerite had explained what they were, and she appeared to accept it, there was obviously something still troubling her.
“What is it?” he asked quietly.
Alex licked her lips and then blurted, “Marguerite says you love me.”
“Yes, I believe I do,” he admitted. While it had been little more than a week, how long did it really take toknow you loved someone? He suspected sometimes it was slow, growing like a sweet-smelling flower that buds and blossoms, but other times it could be fast. Besides, thanks to the nanos, immortals had a head start in the matter. They knew with a certainty that if the person was a life mate, they were the right one and were able to enjoy the person without all the questions about whether they would suit and so on. And that was what Cale had done this last week, enjoyed her independence, her determination, her ambition, her creativity, her sense of adventure. She was a spectacular woman and would suit him perfectly in some ways and complement him in others. While he was organized, she was a chaotic, creative thinker. They would balance each other out and teach each other things at the same time.
“She said that I love you too,” Alex said quietly, and still wasn’t looking up from her hands.
“Is she right?” he asked, and then held his breath, praying for the answer he wanted.
“Yes … no …” She grimaced, and then finally met his gaze. “I was pretty shook up when I saw your fangs. My immediate thought was that it just figured I’d go and fall for a monster, and the only thing I could think at that point was that you wanted me for a blood donor and sex toy.”
“No, Alex, I—” Cale began, but she continued.
“Marguerite said I was using that as an excuse not to get involved and risk being hurt, and she was right. I’ve done a lot of thinking while you were recovering and, basically I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m pretty messed up,” she admitted with a dry laugh.
Cale frowned with concern. “You seem pretty together to me.”
“Oh.” She waved that away. “Sure, I seem together, but …” She sighed, and said, “You remember I told you that we moved every year until I was ten, and that made it hard to make and keep friends? ”
He nodded.
“Well, the thing is, I did make friends, but then we’d move, I’d make a new friend, and then we’d move again. That happened over and over so that when Gramps came to stay with us, it was just easier to be with him, for him to be my best friend and confidant. Then he died and left me too.” She made a face. “It started to feel like maybe I wasn’t supposed to have anyone. They all either died or left me.”
“I see,” Cale murmured, and he did understand how it must have seemed to a child. “You didn’t have friends in high school? ”
She shook her head. “By that time I’d hit the awkward teenage years and was shy … and it didn’t help that, as the oldest, I had to look after Jo and Sam after Gramps died. It meant I could never accept invitations to do things after school or on weekends. I was pretty lonely.” She grimaced, and added, “But then I went away to culinary school, and it was like the whole world opened up for me. I was in a foreign country, met lots of new and interesting people, made friends and …”
“And?” he prompted.
“And there was Jack.” She grimaced. “I met him thefirst week of school. He was from Canada too, a little town in southern Ontario. He spoke French and he was handsome, and funny, and charming, and he liked me. That whole first year I was in heaven. Everything was wonderful. Jack and I were always together and even had a lot of classes together. He said he loved me.”