Hunt (The Grizzly Brothers Chronicles Book 1) (9 page)

I
couldn’t let
things go any further with Ian. The kiss, or rather kisses, had been intense. Perfect in so many ways, but they were only going to make it harder when inevitably things fell apart. I wouldn’t let that happen. It should be easy since I barely knew the guy. At least I hadn’t made the mistake of getting involved with my best friend this time. I’d already been there and done that.

I paced around the house after he left trying to find an excuse for letting things go as far as they did. It had been the ambiance, the big star filled sky. Or maybe it was my loneliness. It had finally pushed me to do something crazy. Either way, it couldn’t happen again. I’d make sure of it.

After an hour of pacing I knew sleep wasn’t going to happen. I’d gotten more sleep in Ian’s truck than I normally did in a night, so there was no reason to even try to fall back asleep. I’d lay awake overthinking every detail of what happened, and as enjoyable as reliving the kisses might be in the future, it was dangerous with him so nearby. I might want to act on the feelings the images elicited.

Instead of sleeping I packed up my backpack. It was still a few hours before sunrise, but that only made it more important to hurry. If Ian was serious about breakfast he might come by early.

I stared at my phone for a moment. There had been no calls in days. Part of it was my fault. I’d pushed away all my friends when my grandfather died, but Connor should have called. If nothing else he should have sent me an email with a list of things I needed to research for him, but my email was empty aside from the handful of advertisements from clothing stores I barely shopped at anymore.

I’d give Connor a few more days. If I didn’t hear from him by then I was going back to the farm. I sublet my apartment for the summer to make some extra cash, so that wasn’t an option. I was beginning to regret that decision.

I pulled off another sheet of paper from the pad in the kitchen.

Dear Mrs. Peterson,

I’m going camping for a few days. I’m not sure if my phone will work, so please don’t worry if you don’t hear from me. Hope your bridge night went well.

Sincerely,

Mara.

I cringed at my sloppy handwriting. It looked even worse than usual.

I slipped the note under her door and got into my truck. Hopefully the note would put her at ease and avoid her filing any missing person’s report. Like dating my best friend, that was another item on my been there done that list.

I eyed my bag in the passenger seat. I’d tried to keep it light, but I needed to get in some food and extra clothes. It was my sleeping bag and tent that were the heavy things. No matter how light a version you buy, they still have weight, and I wasn’t in the same shape I used to be.

Hopefully getting out into nature would help me forget about Ian, and my annoyance at Connor for dragging me out to Montana only to ditch me. Maybe not dragging as much as luring out. I could have found a job in Philly. I could have interviewed for more research assistant positions, or even kept my work-study job at the library, but no. I’d been an idiot and trusted the guy who hadn’t as much as called or written me a letter in years. Maybe that was my problem. I always trusted the wrong people.

I drove out in the same direction Ian had taken me, which meant I was heading toward his ranch. That sent a thrill through me, and it shouldn’t have. Nothing about him should have thrilled me or had any effect. One of these days I’d learn to harden myself, or at least stay away from a handsome face. Once again I was right. They always meant trouble.

The road was empty, and there was something blissfully relaxing about having the road to myself. No matter how early I left my house in Philly, there were always people driving. It wasn’t that I was anti-social, but I craved alone time even if for just short periods.

I rolled down my window and enjoyed the brisk early morning. It had cooled down even further, and it bordered on cold. I was glad I’d decided to wear a heavy sweatshirt because it wasn’t going to warm up until the sun rose.

I drove faster than usual, the open road made it impossible to go slow, and I threw caution to the wind.

Eventually I reached the trailhead I’d marked on my map. I parked my truck, grabbed my gear, and headed down the path into the wilderness.

The dark woods both beckoned and almost stopped me short. I was excited to get away from the small town I wasn’t part of, but something about this kind of darkness frightened me. The trees were thick enough to block out the moonlight, and I had to rely on my flashlight to see even a few inches in front of me.

Frightened or not, there was no way I was turning around. I wasn’t giving up. The sun would be up in a few short hours, and I’d probably laugh at myself in the light of day.

The trail started off easy enough to follow, and I focused on the sound of my hiking boots crunching and insects chirping. There was no music, no horns blaring, no motors running. This was the soundtrack I preferred the most. I tried to clear my mind, but it kept going back to Ian. Memories of the night before swirled through my head on repeat, and before long I gave up trying to stop them. I let them continue while I enjoyed the nature surrounding me.

Before long the sun started to rise. I pocketed my flashlight, and found a clearing to watch as the vibrant red, yellow, and oranges swept across the mountains that seemed tall enough to touch the sky. This place was different from anywhere I’d been before. I felt strangely at home, and I knew Ian had been right about one thing: leaving Crestview wouldn’t be easy.

I
knocked
on her door again. Tyler hadn’t seen her leave, which meant she had to be in there.

“Mara?” No answer.

Maybe she was ignoring me and trying to pretend the chemistry that was clearly between us didn’t actually exist.

I knocked again. “Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?”

I heard the sound of footsteps behind me and turned.

Mrs. Peterson stood at the bottom of the small porch. “She’s not here.”

I tried to rein in my frustration. “Do you know where she is?” Tyler hadn’t left until I showed up, and he’d gotten there only a few hours after I dropped her off. I couldn’t imagine she’d have gone somewhere in that small window of time considering it had been the middle of the night.

Mrs. Peterson held out a small piece of paper just like the note that was slipped under the bathroom door to me.

I read over the handwritten note. “Camping? She went out camping by herself?”

“It seems she did. She didn’t ask me first. I would have told her the woods are too dangerous around here.” Mrs. Peterson wrapped her long pink robe around herself.

“I told her I’d go with her.” I thought over my conversation with her. She hadn’t explicitly agreed, but she hadn’t seemed all that anxious to go alone.

“What are you going to do about it?” Mrs. Peterson gave me a long look. “Because you are going to do something about it.”

“How do you know? I could simply wait for her to return.” There wasn’t a chance of it, but I wanted to act calm even if I didn’t feel that way.

Mrs. Peterson narrowed her eyes. “Are you truly going to pretend with me?”

“No.” There was no reason to. I couldn’t.

“Then what are you doing still standing here?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Thanks for the information.” I turned and headed out to my truck.

There was only one main trailhead outsiders seemed to know. Unless she’d been asking locals, it was the only place she would try, so I headed out there first.

I felt a flood of relief when I found her truck parked exactly where I hoped it would be. At least something was going my way. I parked right next to her truck and jumped out.

I headed into the woods a little ways off the path before stripping down and shifting into my bear. I could cover way more ground that way.

After continuing through the woods parallel to the path, I saw her, standing on the edge of a cliff staring out at a mountain range in the distance. She looked so sad and lonely it took all my resistance to stay back. I wanted to get rid of both her sadness and loneliness, and I could if she’d give me the chance.

I moved closer, and she glanced in my direction. I was hidden in the trees, but I felt as if she was looking directly at me. The morning sun cast a yellow and orange glow behind her and gave her an ethereal look that enhanced her beauty even more. She was truly the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.

I waited until she turned away and started to walk toward the trail before shifting back to my human form. I hurriedly got dressed and followed after her.

She stopped and turned around slowly.

She gasped in surprise. “You scared me to death.”

“It’s just me.”

“How was I supposed to know that?” She put a hand to her chest. “I thought I heard someone in the bushes before and then I heard someone following me. Was it you back there too? Were you spying on me?”

“I wasn’t spying on you. I did follow you though.” I couldn’t deny that. She wasn’t going to buy a story about me happening to be on the same hike she was.

“Then why are you here?” She crossed her arms.

“Because you ran off to hike on your own. That’s not safe.” Although the sun was on it’s way up now, it would have been completely dark when she set off on her hike. That made what she did even more dangerous.

“Why do you even care?”

“Why do I care?” I felt anger surging through me. “How could you even ask me that question?”

“You don’t have to play the hero or whatever it is you’re doing.” Her words were harsh, but her eyes were still so damn sad.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Something was different. She hadn’t been this sad the day before. “Did something happen?”

“No.” She shook her head. “Nothing happened.”

“Then why are you out here?” That seemed like the most important question to be asking. “Did you forget we were going to go together?”

“Don’t you have work? You know building things or taking care of cattle.”

“Yes, but finding you was my priority.” My number one priority. I’d never wanted to find a mate because I dreaded the distraction, but I didn’t mind it now. I’d do anything to make her mine.

“I didn’t need to be found.”

“Yes you did.” And she was found. She was safe and with me, where she belonged.

“I wasn’t lost.”

“You were to me.” I wasn’t sure why those words slipped out, but they did. She brought out a different side in me.

“Sorry I didn’t leave you your own note, but evidently Mrs. Peterson passed on the message.” She frowned.

“Don’t get annoyed with her. What did you expect her to do? You went off by yourself.” I left out the part about having been over there anyway.

“I’m not used to being checked up on.”

“Get used to it.”

“Excuse me?” She put a hand on her hip.

“You look so damn adorable when you’re mad.”

“Ugh!”

I had to fight back the smile that wanted to come out. It was almost too much to take.

“I’m out here because I wanted to be alone.”

“Not because you were avoiding me?” That possibility had occurred to me the second Mrs. Peterson showed me the note.

She fidgeted. “Not entirely.”

“Why would you want to avoid me?”

“Because of last night.”

“You mean because last night was enjoyable? I’m not getting the connection here.” Personally I was ready to explore that connection a whole lot more.

“I’m not interested in getting involved.” She dug her boot into the dirt. “Okay?”

“No. Not okay. We are involved. Can’t change that now.”

“Sure we can.” She straightened her back as if to appear taller. “Kissing does not equal involved.”

“Yes it does. At least in this case. And I hope you have enough food packed for two.” I smiled.

“Why would that matter?”

“Because you have company on this camping trip.” Now that I’d found her I was glad she’d gone off into the woods. It gave me a chance to spend some time alone with her.

“No I don’t. You see I’m fine. You can leave.” She gestured with her hand.

“Nope. You agreed to have a meal with me today. I’m picking dinner, which means I have to stay with you through lunch to get there. And by dinner it’s going to be too late to go home, so I’ll just have to stay over.” I smiled. “Lucky for you I’ve got time today.”

“My tent only sleeps one.” She jutted out her chin. “Unlucky for you.”

Or very lucky. “I guess we’ll be getting really close then.”

“You won’t be sleeping in it.”

“You’d never leave me out in the elements alone.” I stepped toward her.

“You want to bet?” She leaned forward.

“I’m sorry. I have to do this.”

“What?” She looked around nervously.

“This.” I closed the space between us, smashing my lips into hers while I pulled her into my arms.

The kiss was rough and demanding, full of the emotions flooding my system. She may have run off once, but I wasn’t losing her. I wasn’t saying goodbye to those soft lips and sweet taste I’d never get enough of. She responded immediately and wrapped her arms around my neck, opening up to me in a way she hadn’t the night before. I wanted our clothes gone. I wanted her completely naked in my arms. I settled for slipping a hand underneath her sweatshirt and t-shirt while keeping my other hand on her waist so I could feel her pressed against me.

Her skin was soft and smooth, and she moaned as I let my hand run over her stomach. I kept moving my hand higher, stopping just below the breasts I was desperate to explore.

She moaned again, louder this time, and I slipped my hand under the cup of her bra. She moaned again, and I pulled her body tighter against mine.

I broke the kiss, needing to see her face, to make sure her expression matched her noises of contentment.

Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks were flushed from the intensity of our kiss. Looking at her face was a mistake. Her eyes said it all. She wanted me just as bad as I wanted her, and that meant taking it slow was out of the question.

I released her breast, prepared to remove the t-shirt that was blocking my view.

I started to pull up on her shirt when she stopped me. “Ian. No.”

I dropped the shirt immediately. “Why?”

“Because this can’t happen.”

“What exactly?”

“This.” She gestured between us. “Us. This can’t happen.”

“Were you lying about the professor? Is there something going on there?” I felt rage flood me. She was mine. There was no question about that.

“No.” She sighed. “This has nothing to do with another guy.”

“Then what?” I kept my voice even. “Because I know it has nothing to do with a lack of attraction. You want me. Don’t waste your time pretending otherwise.”

“I’m not wasting any of our time. That’s the point. This can’t work.” She turned away.

I pulled her back as gently as I could. There was a fragility to her I hadn’t noticed at first. It may not have been physical, but it made me want to handle her more carefully. “This will work.”

“Why? I mean if you just wanted some you could have pushed harder for it last night.”

“And I already told you, my desires extend beyond sex when they come to you.” They included sex, but it also went further. I wanted her in every possible way.

“I don’t want a relationship.”

“Too bad.” I put a hand on her hip. “You’re already in one.”

“Kissing a few times doesn’t make a relationship.” She sighed. “I sound like a broken record.”

“It’s more than the kissing.” I took a risk. “Think about something for me. Okay? And answer my question only after giving it serious thought.”

“Okay.” She tilted her head to the side.

“Close your eyes and picture yourself with another man.” I hated to even say the words, but it would prove my point. It would prove to her that now that she’d been touched by me, she could never be happy with another.

She closed her eyes, squeezed them shut and then opened them. “I can’t.”

I grinned. “Keep trying. Picture anyone. Anywhere. Anytime.”

She closed her eyes again. “I can’t.” She made a frustrated groan. “It’s always you.” She opened her eyes.

“Perfect.” I couldn’t contain my excitement. I knew it would be the case, but there was a small part of me that worried I was wrong.

“There’s nothing perfect about it!” Tears streamed from her eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

“Because I don’t want to be stuck on you. I want to hope that one day I can be happy.”

“But you can be happy.” I ached from watching her tears. “You will be happy with me.”

She shook her head. “I could, theoretically, until you decide to leave. And then I’ll hurt even worse this time.”

Was that what she was upset about? “I’m not leaving. I’m in the same boat you are.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I can’t think of another woman. You are the only one I want now.”

“That’s impossible,” she huffed.

“Nothing’s impossible.”

“Plenty of things are.” She put a hand on her forehead. “And I want to know what you did to me.”

I ignored her question. I hadn’t actually done anything to her, but I had let it happen. Kissing her had set off a chain reaction I had absolutely no intention of stopping. “You came out here to hike. Let’s do it. It’s early, and we have the whole day ahead of us, but I know of the perfect place to camp for the night.”

“We should go home.”

“Do you really want that?” I asked. “Be honest. Think about the answer.”

She sighed. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I like it out here better.”

“Good.” I held out my hand to her.

“I don’t need your hand.”

“But I need yours.” I wrapped my hand around her much smaller one.

“I should hate you.”

“Should?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. You’re pushy and arrogant. I usually hate guys like you.”

“But you don’t hate me?”

“Nope. I want you.” Her eyes met mine. “This sucks.”

“It doesn’t suck. It’s a good thing.” I started walking deeper into the woods away from the trail. We weren’t camping anywhere that anyone would run into us. I was only going to be satisfied with complete privacy for our first night together.