Authors: Heather Atkinson
“You’ve not got the desperate urge to kill me?”
“I did but it’s gone now.”
“Thank Christ for that. I wouldn’t want you gunning for me.”
She flicked the cigarette butt over the balcony, the glowing tip sailing through the air before plummeting into the blackness below.
Jules leaned over the balcony and grinned. “Shot.”
Mikey looked over and saw the cigarette sitting on the roof of a car, still smouldering away. “Serves them right for buying a Porsche.” When she turned to go inside he grabbed her arm. “We need to talk about something else.”
“What?”
“You know what.”
She shrugged. “There’s nothing to discuss.”
“Course there is. Jules, we almost kissed.”
“Will you keep your voice down?” she hissed, looking back into the hotel to make sure no one was listening.
He pulled her to him. “I have to have you.”
“Don’t be so fucking stupid.”
“I don’t know why but I love it when you talk to me like that.”
“It’s never going to happen.”
His face fell. “Why not?”
“Are you serious? You’re married.”
“I wouldn’t have thought that would have stopped you.”
“Well it fucking does,” she scowled. “We work together too and that is a no no.”
“It didn’t stop you and Jasper.”
“Because
I
was the boss of Jasper but
you
are my boss, plus I’m ten years older than you and, to top it all off, we’re cousins.” She shoved him in the chest, knocking him backwards. “You’re just like the rest of them, only wanting me for one thing.”
“It came out wrong, I didn’t mean it to sound like that.” He took a step closer and slid both hands into her hair. “You drive me crazy.”
“I drive a lot of men crazy, I don’t know why. Get over it.” Her eyes softened. “Don’t mess up your marriage for me.”
“I can’t help it, I can’t get you out of my head. You’re always there, all the fucking time and no matter what I do you won’t go away.”
“Bollocks. You’re transferring your emotions onto me because you’re having a rough time with your missus. Do us both a favour, go home and make it up with her.”
Mikey had assumed the mention of Amber would have curtailed his emotion but it didn’t. “Kiss me.”
“Get stuffed.”
“Just once Jules.” He moved his hands from her hair to her face. “Just once,” he repeated, lowering his voice to a soft, seductive growl. He’d never had to beg a woman before and it dented his pride that he had to do it now but he couldn’t help himself. He’d never taken drugs in his life but this woman was his heroin.
“If I do will you stop pestering me?”
“Promise.”
She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Fine.”
Despite her reticence she yielded herself easily enough. She tasted of smoke and something beneath, vanilla? Did the infamous Venom use lip balm? The kiss was just as he knew it would be - delicious, dark and deep. Her arms, which had remained by her sides, went around his neck, her body hard against his. The feel of her bare fingers against his cheek flushed his face with blood, which raced around his body in response to his pounding heart.
When his lips went to her neck, his hardness pressing against her, Jules decided enough was enough. If she didn’t stop it would go too far - even though deep down she wanted it to.
“Mikey, stop,” she breathed, the words coming out as a gasp.
He just grunted into her neck, hands sliding down her body to the bottom of her t-shirt, rolling it up to touch her bare skin.
“Stop,” she whispered, aware she was tilting back her head to allow him access to the other side of her neck.
But he continued. Realising he was breaking his side of the deal she got angry. Her hands went to his chest and pushed him away violently. “I said stop.”
He just smiled and started to advance on her again. When she drew her knives his smile widened.
“Fuck me you’re exciting,” he grinned.
“I won’t hesitate to use these,” she said, holding them out in front of her, but her tone was playful. She was breathing rapidly, lips parted, cheeks flushed.
“You don’t want to stop.”
“You’re right I don’t but my willpower’s strong. I meant what I said. Nothing will ever happen between us again.”
“If it did it would be spectacular.”
“Whatever. Now I’m off to bed. Alone. I respect you Mikey, I even like you. Don’t spoil it.”
His expression turned serious. “I won’t, I promise you.”
She nodded, stepped inside and closed the door. Mikey leaned against the railing and looked down while he caught his breath. The cigarette had gone out but he was willing to bet the owner of the Porsche was going to be pissed off in the morning. Good.
It occurred to him that he’d just cheated on Amber. He stared at the gold band on his finger and thought back to their wedding day. They’d only been married a matter of weeks. How had it gone wrong so quickly? It was Joyce’s fault, her and her stupid husband’s. He still loved Amber but he was terrified she was going to turn into her mum one day. Wasn’t that what happened to all women? No, Rachel certainly wasn’t anything like Gill. Martina hadn’t been like her timid, mousy mother. What if Amber really had been like that all along and he’d only just found out? He wanted his wife back, he missed her.
Mikey twiddled the ring around on his finger absently. Sometimes it felt like a part of him, sometimes it felt like a weight. If he and Amber hadn’t fallen out he wouldn’t have kissed Jules, he would have kept his feelings in and dealt with them. Guilt started to creep over him. The first whiff of strife in his marriage and he was already kissing another woman, his mental, murdering cousin at that.
“Way to go, idiot,” he mumbled. But he couldn’t find it in him to regret that kiss, it had been incredible. He allowed himself to imagine just for a moment what it would be like to go to bed with Jules. The prospect made him go even harder. Great, he was never going to get any sleep now.
Mikey pushed images of a naked Jules aside and thought of a naked Amber instead, the perfection of her body despite childbirth, her masses of red hair, the cute freckle on her pert bottom, those breasts…
He’d get home, apologise and spend a whole day in bed with her, exorcise Jules from his mind once and for all. What was the point in brooding over her, she’d meant it when she’d said nothing would ever happen between them again. All he’d ever have was that kiss, a very pleasant memory for him to treasure, all he was going to get from her. Amber was his wife, his love and that was it. He’d let no one come between them again, whether that be leather-clad assassins wielding knives or overbearing mothers-in-law.
Determined on this course of action he felt much happier and decided to go to bed. The sounds emanating from Beth and Riley’s room did nothing to dampen his ardour but he determinedly walked past Jules’s room, forcing himself not to picture her naked in bed. The sound of snoring radiated from the bathroom. Jez had obviously dropped off in the bath.
Mikey rushed into his bedroom and locked the door, not against intruders but so he wouldn’t be tempted to stray out of his room until daybreak. It also went a long way to blocking out the animal noises two doors down.
CHAPTER 29
Ryan was very quiet at breakfast the next morning. Everyone noticed but no one said anything. Gill made them all something to eat, deciding to veto her daughter’s healthy eating habits for one morning and cook a nice big fry-up. No one objected. The children kept going to Ryan for hugs and he’d pick them up and cuddle them in silence.
Rachel never strayed more than a few feet from him, knowing he needed her presence, to be reassured that she wasn’t going off him because he’d eaten human flesh. He’d done that for her and the kids, to stop two lunatics coming after them. The threat hadn’t been an idle one, they knew strangers had been on their property, watching them. When she went out of sight he’d turn and look for her so she’d return to him, holding his hand or stroking his back and he would be comforted. Even Aaron, the youngest in the household, recognised that his father was fragile. It was a shock to them all, this man who seemed to be made of steel looking as though he might break at any moment. This was different to gangsters, the usual violent types he was used to dealing with. This had been personal, twisted, sick. It was a different ballgame altogether.
The ringing of the doorbell had Ryan sighing and shaking his head.
“Shall I get it?” said Rick.
“You’d better. Ashley said he’d stop by. He might have news,” replied Rachel, her eyes flicking to Ryan, who rested his chin on his hands, staring in dismay at the huge plate of fried food Gill had plonked before him, the bacon and sausages swimming in their own grease. He closed his eyes and for a moment he was back in that wooden prison, cubes of John Owen sliding down his throat.
Reading his thoughts Rachel took the plate away and replaced it with a bowl of cereal. He smiled up at her gratefully and kissed her hand.
Rick disappeared out of the room to answer the door. He returned with a dishevelled-looking detective inspector.
“You look tired,” commented Rachel.
“I am,” replied Ashley. “This is going to be a long, drawn out case. The amount of evidence we’ve got to process is unbelievable.”
“Is Gerard talking?” said Rachel.
“He’s giving us bits of information and we’re slowly building up the whole picture, mainly thanks to Ryan.” He glanced at him. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine,” replied Ryan, lifting his head and reclining back in his seat, adopting his usual, cool attitude. Rachel wasn’t fooled, neither was Rick, but Leah and Gill were heartened.
“Would you like a brew and something to eat?” Gill asked Ashley. “You look like you could do with a good feed.”
Ashley experienced the urge to kiss her. “That would be wonderful Gill, thank you.”
She spooned up a plateful for him but - despite how hungry he was - his stomach rebelled as he recalled all that meat in the hide and chest freezer, meat that could have come from a human being. Not wanting to look impolite he picked up the fried bread and dipped it into the yolk of his egg. He wasn’t sure he’d ever eat meat again. All of the team working on the case were praying the meat turned out to be animal. So was the police canteen, which was experiencing a sudden surge in the demand for vegetarian meals.
“Ashley, a word please,” said Ryan, rigidly unfolding himself from his seat and marching to the door. He looked to Rachel and she joined him in the lounge.
Bewildered, Ashley put down his piece of fried bread and followed, taking his mug of tea with him. This case had left him with a permanent cold feeling and he wrapped his hands around the mug, absorbing the heat.
“Have you discovered the origins of the meat yet?” said Ryan, eyes shining with anxiety.
“Our lab’s running DNA tests. It’s impossible to tell just by looking, the pathologist said all animal muscle tissues look the same at the cellular level.”
“How long will the tests take?”
“The lab’s fast-tracking it. I’m hoping we’ll have something in a few days.”
“Days,” he exclaimed. “This isn’t fucking good enough. While you’re running your little tests I’m stuck here in limbo.”
“I’m sorry but these things do take time. We can only go as fast as the tests.”
“Can’t we send a sample to a private lab?”
“We’re talking about the possible remains of a murder victim. We can’t go sending bits of him to private labs. Plus every piece has to be tested because we’re still missing … bodies. We have to identify every little piece.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think of it like that.”
“It’s okay. The stress you’re under must be horrific. Look, I’ll have a word, see what I can do.”
“Thank you, I’d appreciate that.”
“This won’t help but Gerard’s insisting the meat belongs to John Owen. It’s clear he’s not all there so we can’t really take his word for anything. Brian Crossly’s regained consciousness by the way.”
It didn’t seem right to Ryan using their real names. They weren’t people. In his mind they were things, animals.
“His jaw’s wired shut so he won’t be talking for a while,” added Ashley.
“He can write,” said Ryan.
“Yes but his doctor is stonewalling any sort of interrogation at the moment. He’s in a bad way.”
Ryan’s lips curled into a smile.
“What about Eddie?” said Rachel.
“He’s got a smart-arsed lawyer that’s advised him not to talk. I don’t know how these defence lawyers live with themselves, defending scum like that.”
“All the cash soothes their consciences,” said Rachel. She should know, she’d hired enough of them.
“Get this, The Kerrell Group is paying for his smart-arsed lawyer. Oh, just one more thing, the national papers have got hold of this.”
“Oh Christ,” sighed Ryan.
“Cases of cannibalism never fail to draw a lot of interest.”
“Do they know what I ate?” said Ryan, panicked.
“No, so far only a very select group know. It was leaked that they’d been cooking body parts though. The press have already descended on the police station, I’m amazed they’re not outside your house yet, there’s only the local boys so far, but they will be. They’re going to go through your pasts with a fine toothcomb, they’ll start writing about your old lives.”
“And everyone up here will find out who we used to be,” said Rachel sadly. What a shame, they’d had a nice life here once.
“I thought you should be warned. Sorry,” he said.
“It was bound to happen one day,” said Ryan. “We’re lucky we made it this long.”
“The people around here are good people, Brian, Gerard and Eddie aside. They’ll be grateful to you for putting an end to their sick games and they’ll take what they read in the papers with a pinch of salt.”
“Let’s hope so,” said Rachel tightly.
“Well, I’ll be off then, there’s still so much to do. With a bit of luck the Dartmoor Butchers will plead guilty so it won’t have to go to court. That’s what the tabloids are calling them by the way.” Ashley drained his tea and placed the mug on the coffee table. “If you don’t mind I’ll make a quick exit. No offence to your mother Rachel, I’m sure her cooking’s lovely but there’s no way I can face a plate of meat right now.”
“I understand how you feel,” said Ryan.
Ashley snuck to the front door, making sure Gill wasn’t about before tiptoeing outside.
“If everyone finds out about our pasts, think what it’ll do to the kids, to mum and dad,” said Rachel sadly.
“I know sweetheart but there’s not a damn thing we can do about it,” said Ryan.
Jules, Beth and Riley came to visit Ryan and Rachel before leaving for Manchester, having been given the all-clear by the police. Mikey and Jez had already snuck back to Manchester to avoid getting sucked into the circus it was turning into.
“Thank you so much,” said Rachel, embracing each of them in turn. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’ll be okay?” Riley anxiously asked his brother.
Ryan nodded and forced a smile. “I’ve faced worse than them.” None of them knew about him possibly eating human flesh and he wasn’t going to mention it until he knew for certain. He nodded in Jules’s direction. “Are you okay with her now?” he quietly asked.
“Yeah. She was nothing to do with what happened to Zoe, I realise that now. I was actually pretty impressed with her. Yes she’s a bit cuckoo but I think she genuinely cares.”
Ryan was taken aback. “High praise indeed from someone who doesn’t give it lightly.”
“I’ve let go of the past, I’ve had to if I want to move on with Beth, which I really do. I can highly recommend it,” Riley said meaningfully.
“I don’t think I’d be standing here if it wasn’t for her.”
“No you wouldn’t.” He patted him on the shoulder. “If you need to talk give me a call.”
“I know, thanks mate. When are you flying back out to wherever you came from?”
Riley couldn’t tell anyone about his sensitive work, which meant his family never knew where he was. That was another reason why he wanted to leave the army, it was very isolating.
“I’ve got a couple more days. Beth’s taking me to meet her parents and the kids.”
“Good luck with that one.”
“I’m really nervous,” he admitted with a smile.
“Just be yourself and you’ll have no problem.” Ryan turned to Jules. “I’d like a word,” he said severely.
“We’ll wait for you outside, we’re sharing a taxi to the airport,” explained Beth.
After they’d gone Ryan addressed his sister. “I’d like to say thank you for what you did. I appreciate it very much.”
“You’re welcome,” she said in that irritatingly cheerful way.
“I think we got off on the wrong foot. I’d like us to start again, if you’re willing to try?”
“I’d like that very much,” she said with a genuine smile. “I’d like a real family, for the first time in my life.”
“You and Riley have put your differences aside, so I see no reason why we can’t. When everything up here has settled down why don’t you come and stay for a few days, meet the kids and see how we all get on?”
“Wow, that would be great. Thank you,” said Jules. She’d never expected this much. “Why don’t you give your little sister a hug?” she said, opening her arms.
Rachel smiled when Ryan shuffled tentatively before embracing her, as though suspecting a trick.
Jules leaned back slightly and clamped his face between both hands, making him frown. “My big brother. I’m proud of you.”
“May I enquire as to why?” he said, arching an eyebrow.
“Because you are one hard bastard and you’ll get over this fine, you’ll see.”
Ryan looked at his wife, who was still here even though she knew full well what he’d done. “I think you might be right.”
“Course I am.” Jules turned to Rachel. “I’m not normally into hugs so if you want one you’d better get me now while I’m in the mood. Ooh, not too tight, you’re turning me on,” said Jules when Rachel hugged her back.
“I beg your pardon?” demanded Ryan.
“She knows I’m joking, don’t you Rach?”
“Yes I do,” she smiled. “I’m getting used to your ways.”
“I do make jokes at inappropriate times and I am working on it with the help of my therapist,” said Jules. She eyed Rachel up and down. “But you are seriously hot. Lucky big brother.”
“I’m the lucky one,” said Rachel, smiling at her husband.
“Alright, I’m out of here. Things are getting too soppy for me.” A beep from outside made her grin. “Sounds like Riley’s getting impatient. He probably wants to get back to Manchester and roger Beth silly, the lucky sod. Who would have thought the day would come when Riley Cutter and I would be sharing a taxi without killing each other? Life is funny.”
“Hilarious,” said Ryan dryly as she picked up her bag and headed for the door.
Ryan and Rachel stood together and waved the three of them off. Rachel was sad to see them go, even Jules, she’d enjoyed having them all around, even if it was under the direst circumstances.
“She is so like you in some ways,” said Rachel as they watched the taxi disappear down the drive.
“Please tell me you’re not referring to Jules.”
“She said
Riley Cutter and I.
You and her are the only people I’ve ever heard talk like that.”
“Then from now on I shall endeavour to use the more common, vulgar version.”
“No you won’t because it’s part of who you are. Don’t change yourself.”
“I thought all wives wanted to change their husbands.”
“Not me, you’re completely perfect.”
“There’s no need to flatter me because I’ve been through an…ordeal.”
“I’m not, I’m speaking the truth. Now we’ve finally been left in peace and if you’re feeling up to it of course, why don’t you take me to bed?”
“Music to my ears,” he said, taking her hand and leading her to the stairs.