Hunter Moon: A Grazi Kelly Novel #2 (4 page)

Did they kiss?
I felt betrayed and
hurt and maybe a little jealous. Okay, a lot jealous. It didn’t
make sense. I wasn’t dating him. I was sort of dating Sebby. I had
no exclusive rights to Ronan. He could kiss anyone he wanted. My
Wolf snarled at the thought.

I made up my bed with quick deft motions. I
walked around my room and picked up my sneakers and some dirty
clothes I had left carelessly on the floor.
Stupid, Grazi, this
is stupid.
I had to get my emotions under control. I turned
around and opened my window all the way.

A breeze blew in immediately and lifted my
curtains in a wild dance around me. It was chilly, but my blood
seemed to run hotter nowadays. I hardly felt the cold right then.
Besides, I needed to change the air. I was sensitive to stale air,
always had been. Even before I knew what I was.

I needed to relax. Unwind a little. I
couldn’t think about Sebby and what I was supposed to feel for him
or Ronan and what I was currently feeling for him. Whatever that
was.
Ugh.

I took out a large white, leather bound book
from my bedside table.
My mother’s diary.
Nonna had given it
to me the day of the dance. I hadn’t had a chance to really look at
it. The battle with the Wendigo and the hunt last night left me
pretty much booked. This was the first moment I had to myself all
weekend.

I plopped down on my bed and arranged the
pillows just the way I liked them when I was about to get into a
really good read. I may have mentioned before I’m a bit of a geek.
But no worries, geek is the new chic. That’s what Angela says
anyway.

There was no need for me to turn on the lamp.
I could see very well especially with the morning light coming from
the window. I turned the pages till I got to her first entry.
Before I looked down I took a deep cleansing breath. This was my
mother’s diary. The enormity of what I held in my hands hit me.

Did I really want to get inside her head? To
know what she felt and thought? What if it wasn’t good?

I pushed all my doubts aside. Sure I was
scared, but I needed to know her. To get close to her. This was my
best bet. On the first page her name was written in beautiful
script. Something I could never imitate.
Chicken scratch
.
That’s what my teacher’s called my penmanship. Oh well, can’t be
good at everything I guess.

I traced her name with my finger.
Lilliana
Maria DiPaolo.
Then I continued to read her careful script.

Thanks mommy and daddy for this. I’ve wanted
a diary for so long to tell all my deepest darkest secrets too.
This is just perfect! Well, here goes.

High school is pretty fun. I have great
friends and I like most of my classes. Except Geometry. Like, what
do I even need that for? Anyway, I haven’t found anyone to fall in
love with though and that is what I want the most.

Everyone just seems so ordinary. So dull.
Same old boys playing the same old stupid tricks they did when we
were in grammar school. I want adventure, excitement, romance.
Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow. I know it’s uncool for me to
want love, everyone else wants to be a doctor or a judge or
something, but I want my prince to find me. I want to dance
barefoot in the moonlight. I want to kiss a boy so hard my soul
will fall into him and his in mine. Like Jane Eyre!

Hmm, so Mom was a romantic. I guess a lot of
girls my age are. She was beautiful though and smart so maybe it
was easier for her to picture herself in love. I never pictured
myself in love or being loved by someone.

It was hard for me to imagine trusting
someone that much. Maybe I’m broken or something. I shook my head.
Dwelling on my many flaws was not going to help me, so I continued
reading.

New boy at school today. He’s an exchange
student from someplace called Coalisland in County Tyrone, Ireland.
He sounds like a movie star with his accent and he has the most
beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. If eyes are the windows to
the soul then his must be beautiful. I think I found him. My
prince. Patrick Michael Kelly…oooh, Lilliana Kelly. I like it.

Love at first sight. I had no idea. I looked
at the dates and figured she was just a year older than me when she
first laid eyes on him, so that would make her a junior. I put the
book down and closed my eyes. I wanted to remember them.
My
parents
.

I tried to picture my clearest memory of
them, but it was hazy. A family dinner. My father had picked me up
and placed me on his lap while my mother made our plates.
Fettucini Alfredo.
One of my favorites. I could smell the
freshly grated cheese still. She made the best Alfredo sauce.
Zucchini sautéed in olive oil accompanied the dish. Nonna still
made that some nights and it was awesome. My stomach was full to
bursting, but still I wished I had a bowl.

I stared at my ceiling, willing myself to
remember the way we used to be. Me, my mom and dad.
A
family
. Nothing against Nonna. She’s been wonderful to me and
all the family I have ever needed. Only, well, after Uncle Vito and
Aunt Theresa moved in with my cousins it was like my loneliness was
magnified. They had a way of setting themselves apart from me.

The shopping, salon trips, vacations, dinners
or movie nights just for them. I was nine and Julianna was about
ten the first time she told me I wasn’t a part of her real family.
It didn’t hurt me now, but I sometimes wanted to cry for the child
I was. Awkward with my big feet and long braids and so very lonely
for a friend. I guess in some ways I’m still that little girl.

I felt ashamed of myself for having these
thoughts. Petty and ungrateful. Nonna deserved better from me. So
much better. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from having them. I
clenched my fists and closed my eyes.
Mama and daddy. Remember,
Grazi, remember.

I remembered after dinner sometimes we’d play
dolls on my bedroom floor. Mama would take out a large poster board
for me to color on while she studied. She always had books, old,
heavy ones that smelled of must.

I tried to concentrate on more detail, but it
was too far out of reach. A Bible, a Latin dictionary that I think
I still had, notebooks.
Mmm
, fresh baked cookies. Dad
singing to me in his lovely deep voice. I think he was singing a
song by
The Cure
. I smiled and close my eyes tighter. I felt
like I was so close to remembering something. Something important.
I must have fallen asleep. The next thing I remember I was
dreaming. The same dream that had been haunting me for years.

“
Mama, tell me again. Please Mama,” My
childish voice whined for attention. I snuggled down in my tiny bed
and held my pink rag doll. My pink and white painted room was dark
and cold. There were clothes and toys scattered carelessly across
the floor next to a duffle bag that was half packed. Mama seemed
anxious, maybe even scared.

“
Okay, okay baby. Ti amo, Maria, ti amo
del mare alla stella! Shush now, it will all be okay.” Her soft
chestnut hair tickled my face as she bent to tuck me in. I giggled.
She gently placed her hand over my mouth to silence me. I smelled
the familiar scents of baby powder and Ivory soap, but there was
something else. Fear. I smelled her fear. She took my hands and
kissed both of them before placing them on the blanket.

“
Tell me what it means, mama! Tell me,
tell me! Pleeease!”

“
I will, I will. Hush now, my baby.” She
tucked in the blanket all around me and placed the statue of Mary
on my nightstand, “It means I love you, my beautiful Maria, from
the sea all the way up to the stars. I’m so sorry, baby, so sorry.
Forgive Mama, okay?”

“
Don’t cry, Mama, you’ll make the baby
sad.” I reached out my tiny hand and patted her swollen belly. “Ti
amo del mare alla stella, baby brother.” I whispered. Mama quickly
wiped her cheeks. She was crying.

“
Okay quiet now, baby. It’s almost time.
First, I need you to promise me that you’ll run when I tell you,
Maria. You must run, Maria, run!”

I sprang up from my bed drenched in sweat.
Had I imagined it? My hands trembled as I ran them through my
tangled hair. It was so different than before. She was different.
Scared and anxious. And Mama’s belly? Huge and round.
Could it
be?
I looked out of my window. It was dark. I must have been
asleep all day. I threw on some shoes and a hoodie.

I could hear Aunt Theresa downstairs. I
didn’t want to answer her questions so I opened the window and
jumped down to the yard. It got easier every time I attempted it. I
landed on my feet, a quick jump over the fence, and I jogged to the
back door of the Kelly house, Uncle Sean’s new headquarters. I
opened the back door without knocking. Dimitri and Sascha sprang to
their feet positioned to attack.

“How come I don’t hear you moving?”

They put their fists down, but they were
clearly still ready for action. I just looked at them and they
backed up. The blonde one stepped towards me then I met his gaze.
He ducked his head and averted his eyes.
Crap.
I was seconds
from losing it.
Get a grip, Grazi.

“It’s alright, we were playing game. That’s
why.” I think it was Sascha speaking, trying to console his
brother. They had been playing some Xbox game, hockey, I think. It
didn’t matter to me. I found the room I was looking for and walked
in. Uncle Sean looked up from the desk where he was sitting.

“It is common,
inion dearthar
, to
knock before entering another’s domicile.” He did not cock his head
when I made eye contact. He met my stare and waited patiently for
my response. I could feel anger rolling off me in waves.

Liar.
I wanted to shout it at him. It
wasn’t long before Ronan showed up. He looked alarmed and stood
still and silent in the doorway.

“You may come in, if you like, Ronan. I’m
sure that is okay with you, Grazi.” My Wolf was pleased Ronan was
there, but my mind was a jumble of confusion, anger and
resentment.

“She was pregnant. My mother was pregnant.”
The color left Uncle Sean’s face and he looked away, but not from
any dominance I had over him. This was shame and sadness. My uncle
bowed his head and said a few words in Latin. The
Hail Mary
I think.

“How did you know?”

“Is it true?”

“Aye, tis true. Lilliana was always so
beautiful when she was with child.”

“What happened to the baby?” I demanded.
Ronan whined, a Wolf’s noise. I looked at him and he came to my
side. When he did I could feel my Wolf’s pride. Clearly she
approved of him and his Wolf.

He stood slightly behind me and to my right.
My protector, my right hand
. My Wolf’s words. I thought
briefly of Julianna and wanted to confront him, but now was not the
time.

“The baby, Uncle Sean, my brother.”

“Oh Lord, forgive me. Grazi, how did you
know?” I did not respond.

“Look, Lilliana was still carrying him the
night she, the night she passed. I’m afraid you lost more than a
mother and father that dreadful night. I am so, so sorry. You’ll
never know how much.” A moment of quiet passed. I wasn’t meant to
be alone? I had a family once.
I’d almost had a brother.
I
wanted to cry out my pain, but I held it in.

Ronan placed his hand on my shoulder for
support. I wanted to shrug it off. To ask him about what he was
doing with my cousin, but the news I just heard didn’t let me.
Truth was I needed his support right then more than I cared to
admit.

“How did you know about him?” Uncle Sean
asked again. His expression was incredulous.

“I had the dream again. The one of my mom.
This time things were different. The whole thing was different.” I
went on to tell him the subtle changes in my dream. The crying, the
scents, the fear, the duffle bag.

“Ah. It would seem you are now remembering
with your
instincts
. Your Wolf was dormant inside of you
when you were a child, as is true for all natural Werewolves, but
not her instincts. Your senses, smell and sight, the impressions
you picked up as a child. Your recent connection to your Wolf is
enabling you to remember them now. It is fast progress for one who
didn’t know she was a Werewolf till a few months ago.
Impressive.”

“But what about my mom? Why would she risk a
child to follow my dad?”

“I don’t know what was in her mind that
night, Grazi. I only know I will never stop looking for answers.” I
so wanted to believe him. To trust him.

“In the meantime we must get ready for the
feast of St. Lucy. We’ve only a few short weeks.”

“What happens then?” I felt Ronan’s grip
tighten on my shoulder. His heart pounded.

“Everything.”

The following Monday started off as usual.
All the girls in school were decked out in their Ugg boots,
NorthFace jackets, and Michael Kors winter collection purses. I
shrugged out of my beat up old bomber jacket and shoved it in my
locker. Fashion had always been about what was available and
functional for me. That hadn’t changed just because I’m a Werewolf
now.

Ronan was waiting for me. He leaned against
some locker doors and looked down at my worn school shoes while I
gathered my books into my backpack. I don’t know how those other
girls fit their books into a purse. Then again Julianna and her
clones never seemed to worry much about books or grades.
Now
that’s surprising
.

“Are you alright?” Ronan asked, the deep
timbre of his voice cutting into my meandering thoughts.

“I’m fine.”

“You didn’t answer your phone last night
after you left. I was worried.”

“Really? I thought maybe you’d be more
worried about Julianna.”