Hunting Human (21 page)

“You aren’t defenseless. You have us, Beth. I wished you believed that,” Lucy whispered.

“Your family’s been great. More than I expected.”

“What, the Taser and the trunk didn’t impress you?”

“You know what I mean.” Beth bumped her shoulder against Lucy’s. “I just don’t want to be dependent on you guys. I need to be able to take care of myself.”

“You are one of the most capable women I’ve ever met.”

Beth snorted.

Capable is not how I’d sum up the last few years.

“I’m serious. The things you’ve endured…I don’t think I could have managed. You survived both the attack and the change. Either could have killed you. It’s admirable.” Lucy set the ice cream between them and wrapped cold fingers around Beth’s hand. “But there’s no shame in relying on someone.”

Knowing that and trusting that are two different things.

“He does care about you.” Lucy broke the tension with an exasperated sigh and roll of her eyes. “He’s reacting like a typical alpha male. Crush the problem. Protect the female. Trust me, I know. Baby sister talking here.”

“How do you deal with it?”

“First…I tell them to shove it up their asses.”

Beth laughed. The picture of pint-sized Lucy telling Braden or Chase or anyone to shove it anywhere was ridiculous yet crystal clear in her head.

“Seriously. You’ve got to set boundaries. Like now. If Chase had his way, he’d be my permanent shadow until Markko crawled back under his rock. Instead, I let him drop me off at work in the morning and I let my father pick me up. I could make an issue of it. I know I can take care of myself.” Lucy shook her head, a rueful expression on her face. “So do they for that matter. But it isn’t worth the argument. Compromise.”

“I can’t compromise on this, though. I’m not willing to wait and I don’t think Braden could push me to learn as quickly as Chase can.” Beth reflected on the last week, familiar frustration rushing through her. “Then again, I’m not getting anywhere with Chase either.”

“Nah. Chase knows what he’s doing. He helped me through my first year of the shift.”

“Really? I thought you were older than Chase.”

“I am, but he’s been dealing with his wolf for a long time. I didn’t take the bite until I was nineteen. Everyone helped, but Chase and I have always been close.” Lucy seemed far away. “He’s a great teacher—probably knows more about the wolf than anyone I’ve ever met. You made a good call.”

“That doesn’t solve the situation with Braden.”

“It’s like I said, compromise. Look, you guys haven’t exactly had the best week of your relationship, you know? He shoved you in a trunk and you hit him in the head with a jack. You both find out you don’t know each other as well as you thought. Add that to the fact that you basically told him you didn’t need him, more than once if I’m not mistaken, and it’s no wonder he’s been hiding from you.”

“I never said that.” Though a part of her wanted it to be true. She didn’t want to need him, didn’t want to rely on him. That she found herself wanting him as much as she did scared her silly.

“You didn’t have to.” Lucy popped the lid on the ice cream and stood up. “You told him what you needed, good for you. But his alpha male brain interpreted that to mean you didn’t need
him
.”

“So what do I do? I can’t give him what he wants.”

“Or you don’t want to. Either way, find a way to let him be protective, or supportive, or whatever. Trust me, I know my brother. His ego’s bruised.”

Beth considered what she could offer as an olive branch. Or even if she wanted to extend one. She didn’t like that Braden had been hurt by her decisions, but at the same time, it was his ego dictating that hurt. She didn’t deserve the cool regard he used when they were in the same room. Besides, she wasn’t trying to jump-start anything, just smooth things over and decrease the tension between them.

Still, Lucy’s right. I have to approach him.

“I don’t know what to say to him…” Beth looked to Lucy for a suggestion.

“Sometimes, all you need is a fresh perspective. A different look at an old problem,” Lucy offered. “Sounds like maybe you’ve hit a wall with Chase. Maybe another opinion will make more sense.”

Two birds with one stone.

“Thanks.”

“Sure.” Lucy smiled brightly and pulled the door open. “Worst-case scenario? Shove him up against the wall and kiss him. I hear that works, too.”

“
Good night
, Lucy.”

Braden sat relaxed on the guest bed; ankles crossed and propped up on several pillows, completely focused on his laptop.

Beth knocked lightly on the open door. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He answered, not bothering to glance up.

Short and gruff. Great.

“Haven’t seen you much this week.”

He finally looked up, the weight of his stare pinning her in the doorway. He set his laptop aside and swung his legs off the bed.

“I had to take care of some things at work.”

“Right. Of course.” She shifted from foot to foot, tempted to retreat down the hall.

He exhaled and the lines of tension seemed to flow off his back like water. “You don’t have to hover in the doorway, I won’t bite.”

“Promise?” She sat on the edge of the bed next to him. “You seemed a little hostile at dinner.”

He dragged his hands through his hair and then scrubbed at his face. He exhaled a groan and said, “Sorry. It’s been a long week.”

His lifted his hand, pushed her hair over her shoulder and allowed his palm to slide down the length of her back. “I got things in order at work. Hopefully, I won’t need to go in again.”

It didn’t escape her notice that he left himself the option.

His hand continued to stroke her back, as though he wasn’t even aware of doing it. She forced herself to remain still under the caress, afraid if she moved, she’d shatter the peace between them. Instead, she allowed herself to enjoy the warm weight of his hand and the way he always seemed to be reaching for her, as though he couldn’t help himself.

“I missed you.” The words tumbled out before she realized she’d thought them.

His hand abruptly dropped away. “How’d it go with Chase?”

And just like that, the gulf between them reopened and swallowed the preceding minutes.

“Frustrating.” She sighed. “It’s harder than I thought it would be. I’m not making much progress.”

“The shift is going to be uncomfortable until you get used to it, but it shouldn’t be as painful as before.”

“I wish that were the problem. I haven’t been able to shift at all.”

Braden’s forehead creased in confusion and his warm hand settled back against the small of her back. “At all?”

She shook her head in confirmation.

His hand started moving in small, soothing circles. “Chase give you any idea what the problem is?”

“He thinks I’m afraid of it.”

“Of the shift?”

“Of the wolf,” she corrected. “He said I don’t have an accurate picture of what the wolf is, and that as long as I associate it solely with Rachel’s death, I’ll continue to struggle.”

“Hmm.” He moved closer, his arm snaking around her, encouraging her to lean toward him. “Let me guess. He’s been trying to get you to focus your senses.”

“Yeah.” Beth pulled away. “How’d you know?”

“Because I know Chase and he never does things the easy way.”

“There’s an easy way?” Beth asked, searching his face for an answer.

“Well, more than one way, at least.” He pulled his hand away from the nape of her neck, fingers trailing lightly down her arm, leaving a wake of goose bumps. “What’s he got you focusing on?”

Beth’s heart lodged in her throat. Braden’s stare seared through her clothing, warming her skin with a flush that spread from her chest up through her neck. His fingers continued to trail up and down the inside of her forearm, shooting dancing bolts of awareness through her. “I…” She had to stop, take a deep breath and focus on his words, rather than his fingers. “Everything. He’s not specific. Just focus, focus, focus. If I focus any harder, looks really will kill and he’ll drop dead.”

Braden laughed and curled his fingers around her forearm, keeping her from putting space between them. “Chase is excellent at the big picture. He can assimilate information from all of his senses faster than anyone I’ve ever met.” His other hand slipped into her hair and pulled her face toward him. “The rest of us mere mortals generally need something a little more singular.”

Braden’s lips moved over hers, his breath a teasing caress. “Focus, Beth.”

Warm lips pressed against hers, gently at first, then building in pressure. Beth willed herself to relax into the kiss, push away the worry that crowded her mind and just enjoy the warm press of his lips against her own.

He pulled back, the fingers at the nape of her neck kneading against the tension. “Focus.”

Beth opened eyes she hadn’t even realized she’d shut and whispered, “On what?”

He laughed lightly and touched the tip of her nose with his. “If you have to ask, I’m not doing this right.”

Beth smiled. “It’s hard to focus when you’re doing things like that.”

“Hmm, maybe I’m doing it right after all.” He pressed another kiss to her lips, but didn’t let it gain momentum. “Focus on the strongest sensation. Wolves have far better senses than we do. Their ability to hear, their sense of smell…we can harness those senses in human form. It’s what Chase has been trying to show you.” He leaned in again, his lips ghosting over hers as he whispered, “Focus on me.”

His lips descended, warm and coaxing against hers. Beth fell into the warmth that connected them and responded. She covered the hand he tangled in her hair with her own, and slid her fingers over the back of his palm and across his wrist to stroke lightly against the corded muscles of his forearm.

He groaned and shifted closer to her, tilting her chin and angling his head. His tongue slid into her mouth, stroking against hers in a sensual dance of reacquaintance.

Sliding both her arms around him, Beth pulled a knee up on the bed and leaned forward, pressing into his chest. He wrapped both arms around her, used her momentum and rotated over her until her back was pinned to the mattress. He pressed the length of his body against her, his weight warm and solid between her legs, bracing her as she fell completely into the kiss.

His heartbeat pounded in her ears, urging her pulse to rush to match it, sending blood pulsing through her veins and molten heat to the center of her. She arched and bit off a cry, sinking teeth into her lower lip when fingers slid up under the hem of her shirt. His questing fingertips found a nipple and coaxed and teased it to hardness, forcing a moan from her mouth that he greedily absorbed with his own. His lips quirked and grinned against hers, then traced dancing patterns down her jaw until they reached the juncture of her neck. Teeth and tongue nipped and caressed against her sensitive skin. She sank her fingers into the hair at his nape and held his mouth against her neck.

Panting, she inhaled. The scent of him pressed against her nose and dominated her palate; the rich scent of earth and air, just before a supercharged storm. It sent her into a frenzy. She arched her back and shifted restlessly, undulating under his weight as she tried to press every corner of her body against his.

He pulled his head away from her neck, sealing his lips back over her own, tongue thrusting, tasting and imprinting him on every aspect of her consciousness. She moaned again and he turned aggressive, pressing her further into the mattress, nipping her bottom lip and pulling her leg up to wrap around his waist.

Thoughts, both alien and her own, drove her to score her nails down his back.

Her primal reaction sent her spinning back to reality. She wrenched her mouth from his, breathless and panting, and tried to reign in the sensations firing in and around her.

She placed a trembling palm against his chest. “I…I just need a minute.” Her thoughts raced and she realized that although her mind had pulled away from the firestorm of sensations, her body still moved restless and yearning beneath his.

How much of this reaction is me? How much is the yearning of an animal?

The question sliced through the remaining haze of lust. She pushed at him and tried to sit up. His didn’t move, his forehead creased and his face caught in a grimace as though he waged an internal war. His heart beat furiously beneath her palm. Finally, he pushed himself up and rolled away, his fists clenching by his sides, as though he were physically restraining himself from touching her.

Beth sat up and swung trembling legs over the side of the bed. “That was…”

“Intense?”

“Yeah.”

“And now you’re running away. Again.” His voice was harsh and grating, his breath still coming in forced pants.

“No.” Defensive, Beth slid off the bed and moved toward the door. Braden pinned her with a feral look. “I—I need some space. Some time to process.”

Braden sat up and bared his teeth. “Fine. Take all the time you need.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, uncomfortably aware that they’d come full circle.

Braden rose and prowled toward her. She matched every step he took until she was in the hallway.

He stopped dead in the doorway. “Christ, Beth. I’m not going to attack you.” He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, then shoved them in his pockets. “We’re on your schedule.” He reached for the door, white knuckles gripping the knob. “It’s late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“So you’ve said,” he replied, working the muscles along his jaw.

“What do you want me to say? That this is fine? That I’m okay with this?” Hurt and anger fueled her words. “Because I’m not. I can’t help it. I don’t know what’s me anymore! I don’t want to be driven by an animal. Consumed by its needs.”

“Please,” he growled. “That’s just the handy excuse you use to keep putting space between us.”

“It’s true!”

“And convenient!” He countered. “Okay, fine. You’re unsettled. This part of yourself scares you, but that’s not all of it. Hell, that’s not even the bulk of it.”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“Yeah, you do. You just won’t admit it. But I’ll enlighten you, anyway. You think the wolf scares you? You’re afraid of losing control? Bullshit. You’re afraid of living with it, of liking it. You’re so wrapped up in the guilt you feel over Rachel’s death you can’t see straight. The more you learn, the more you practice, the farther away from the monster you get. And it terrifies you. You can’t stand the thought of embracing a part of you that reminds you of Rachel’s death. So you bury it. Ignore it. And you push me away.”

“That’s not fair.”

“You’re right, it’s not. But that’s on you.” He slammed the door shut behind him and moved toward the stairs. “I’m done. When you’re finished punishing yourself, let me know.” He descended the stairs before she could reply.