Hunting Shadows (Shadow Series #3) (2 page)

I looked at Simon instead of Marie. “What do you think?” I aske
d, although I was afraid of his
answer.
I didn’t know what I would do if he agreed with Marie.

“She’s right.” Simon gazed at me, studying my face. “Does that matter to you?”

I shook my head, my determination mixing with anger and fear. “Even if it’s a trap,
we have to go back. If I don’t show up, who knows
what
my father will do to her.”

“You’re lettin
g your emotions control you,” Marie interjected.
“
This isn’t about saving one person. This is about stopping your father from taking
over
eve
ry human. You have no idea
the small army he’s been building.” Marie
’s gaze
swung to address Simon. “You were being pushed out, only you didn’t realize it.
He has vardogers that are totally
loyal to him, not you.”

Simon
was watching me with an enigmatic expression when he responded to her.
“It’s Caitlin’s decision.”

“We have to go back,” I whispered. I took a deep breath, facing what I had always
known. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Sarah.
She was the one that forced me to see that my life was worth living when the only
thing I wanted to do was disappear.
She saved me. She deserves nothing less.”

Marie made a sound of disgust, but Simon just pulled me into an embrace. For the first
t
ime s
ince I had woken up in this dark, dan
k apartment
, I felt the tension lessen. I was still trying to come to grips with everything Simon
ha
d told me. I couldn’t fully
wrap my mind around the fact that he was a vardoger. A part of me couldn’t believe
it. I couldn’t process it. But his arms around
me were real. T
he love I felt in his embrace
was real. And that’s
all that mattered right now
.

“We’ll go to Rochester,” he said softly. “If nothing else, we’ll try.”

“Go ahead and commit suicide. I’m not going with you.” Marie crossed her arms against
her chest, her expression steely.

I pulled away from Simon so I could face her.
“I’m not asking you to
come with us. But there
is
one thing I need
you to do. I need you to try to
put me under hypnosis. Maybe I can see something that’ll help us.”

Simon’s grip on my arm tightened. “That’s too dangerous.”

“And impossible,” Marie said implacably. “There’s no way I would be able to put you
under myself.
I need at least two other seers.
”

“Don’t you know
any
other seers that can help you?”

Marie shook her head, looking at me
as if I were stupid. “
Don’t you
realize what’s going on? This isn’t just about your father coming after you. This
is a war between seers and vardogers, but the lines have become blurred. Seers and
vardogers are no longer natural e
nemies fighti
ng for human souls, because
there’s a movement of seers that are tired of protecting humans. They feel trapped
by their calling and believe vardogers are their way out
. Inner circles have been shattered
as seers who trusted one another
are now enemies
fighting on opposite sides
.
You can’t trust anyone anymore.
” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Simon
. “
Although this is the first time I’ve heard of a
vardoger siding with the seers.
”
Her mouth twisted. “How the hell did that happen?”

“That’s none of your damn business,” Simon bit out, but I barely heard him as I processed
what Marie had just told me.

“I had no idea,” I finally murmured weakly. “I had no idea this was so far reaching.”

“That’s
why walking straight into your father’s trap is idiotic,” Marie insisted. “Your father
has positioned himself as the vardoger leading the charge to eradicate seers who won’t
come over t
o his side. He’s focused on you
because he
’s convinced you hold the key to
figuring out how to become immorta
l.”

I rubbed my forehead, feeling overwhelmed by eve
rything. “I can only take
one
thing
at a time. First, I have to get back to Rochester.” I looked
up at Simon. “We should call Sarah
to make sure she’s alright.”

Simon looked at Marie, his voice terse when he spoke. “Do you have a phone we can
use?”

Marie stared at him for a fe
w moments, and then sighed
. “Fine. It’s your death you’re walking into. I warned you.”

She dug into her pocket and handed me a
cell
phone. I quickly dialed Sarah’s number, my heart in my throat as I waited for her
to answer.

“It’s Caitlin,” I said when she answered.
I was surprised that she
had
answered so quickly since it was almost three o’clock in the morning.
Before I could say anything more, she exploded.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been calling and calling but your cell phone keeps
going straight to voicemail! Same with Simon’s!” Her voice was frantic, almost screeching.

I took a deep breath before speaking. “Sarah, I’m sorry I worried you. I can’t go
into everything right now. I promise to tell you everything when I get back. But the
most important thing right now is that you’re in danger. I need you to stay in the
apartment. Get Grant to stay with you. And whatever you do,
don’t
leave the apartment.
And don’t
open
the door for
anyone
, especially if it’s my father.”

“Why? What’s going on?” Sarah sounded bewildered and scared. “Wh
y wouldn’t you want me to open
the door for your father?”

“Because he’s not my father anymore. He hasn’t been my father for a long time.
A
nd I think he’s going to try to
hurt you.”

Sarah sucked in a sharp breath. Her next words were whispered, almost as if she was
afraid of being overheard. “What about Simon?
Is he okay?
”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me.
There was no way I could tell her everything now. “He’s fine. Just wait until I get
there. And I’m not kidding about not answering the door for anyone.” It was hard to
say the next words, but I couldn’t risk anyone getting to Sarah. I was
already anxious about not telling
her to stay
away from Grant, but I kn
ew she would never agree to it
. “Even if it’s Jenny or Marcus.”

“Why?” Sarah sounded shocked. “Have they…
have they been overtaken too?”

“I don’t think so, but we have to be careful.
It’ll be safe
r for them
too, to be kept away from all of this.
Just promise me that you’
ll stay in the apartment and you won’t
have contact with anyone else besides Grant.”

I hu
ng up after she gave
me
her promise
, not
having the time to answer
the lingering questions I heard in her voice. I turned to Simon as new fears arose.
“
What if Marcus and Jenny are in danger too?”

“They don’t even register in your father’s mind,
” Marie answered before Simon could respond
. “His focus will be on Sarah.”

I wasn’t sure if that made me feel better or worse. Simon was expressionless and I
couldn’t help wondering if
it was a struggle for him to
go against his nature
as a vardoger
. Despite my love for him, he was a shadow and I couldn’t completely banish my fear.
The doubt dissipated as he took my hand, the strength in his grip reminding me that
he had risked everything because he loved me.

“Shouldn’t you call your parents?” I asked, as the obligations
of re
al life began to intrude
. “They’re probably worrie
d sick.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they
called the poli
ce when we never came back home.
”

Simon’s mouth thinned before answering. “I went back on Friday after your father trapped
you and told them we had decided to go back to school early. I figured it was best
because I was planning on snatching you
and running
th
e first chance I got
.”

His words reminded me that despite saving me, he had initially been part of the whole
plan to use me to further the vardogers’ plans. I wanted to forget that, because every
time I remembered it, it chipped away a little of my faith in him.

“Let
’s go,” I said, tiring of talking
. “We have to get to Sarah as soon as possible.”

Chapter Two

The train ride
to Maxwell
University
seemed to take forever. I called Sarah practically every half hour to make sure she
was still okay.
Marie was still disapproving when we left, but she
dropped us off at the train station
and
agreed to
try to
find seers
that she thought we would be able to
trust so that I could be put under hypnosis.

Simon and I didn’t talk a lot on the
train
ride back.
Words didn’t seem sufficient
to expr
ess what I was feeling at the moment
. I couldn’t help glancing at him repeatedly, wondering how it was possible that I
could have fallen in love with a vardoger. Yet Simon seemed so human, so full of anger,
love and
fear, that it was no wonder
I had been fooled so easily.

It was early morning when we reached
Rochester and
we
took a cab to my apartment. I knocked on the
door
and called out that it was me so Sarah would know it was okay to open the door.
I had nothing besides the clothes on my back
, never mind the key to the apartment
.
Simon had packed our bags
when he had gone
home to tell his parents we were leaving early for school
and
had
put them
in the trunk of the car we
had used to run from my father
. I
t had all been burned or left behind
in the car crash
, including my aunt’s journal.
I didn’t even have my iridium necklace that my father had ripped off my neck. Marie
had given me another piece o
f iridium to wear
, and the c
ool metal felt comforting even
though I knew it wasn’t enough to protect me.

Sarah flung open the door
before I had even finished knocking
and pulled me inside, her face tight with worry.

“You need to tell me everything that’s going on!” she exclaimed. “I’m going crazy
imagining all the horrible things th
at could possibly happen
because I don’t know what’s
really
happening!”

Instead of letting me respond, she pulled me into a fierce hug. I could feel her trembling,
and I hugged her back hard. Now that I could see for myself that she was alright,
I felt the fear lessen to a manageable level.

I watched Simon and Grant greet each other
with hugs as well, and
even
though I knew Simon cared for
Grant,
I wondered
exactly
what he felt towards him
. To Grant, they were family
. But Simon knew better.

“Let’s sit down,” I finally suggested. The scene was reminiscent of when we had told
Grant and Sarah about the existence of vardogers and our ord
eal with Claudia,
a girl overtaken by her vardoger,
but
this was so much worse. Simon and I had agreed to tell
them
the
whole
truth. Sarah’s life was in danger and I couldn’t risk her not knowing all the facts.
Yet, how could I explain that
not only was Simon
a vardoger, but
he
h
ad been one since before we
had
met?
How could G
rant accept that the
cousin
he had grown up with was no more? That Simon had
killed
him?
Every time I was reminded that Simon
was a murderer, I had to tell
myself he was no longer the same person he was before. I refused t
o think of him as anything besides
a human
being
. It was the only way I could cope.

Simon and I faced them in our usual spot, me on the recliner and him resting on the
arm
rest
. Grant and Sarah sat on the couch opposite us, watching us expectantly.

“Please just listen,” I
started. “Some of the stuff we’re
going to tell you is going to sound c
razy. Please just wait until we’re
done to ask q
uestions, otherwise we’re
never going to be able to get through
all
this.”

I took a deep breath before continuing. “I already told you about my father being
overtaken by his vardoger. I don’t know when it happened. I just know it was a long
time ago, and the person I’ve been ca
lling my father hasn’t been my father
for a while. I found out when he attacked me at my aunt’s house and held me prisoner.”

Sarah gasped but she didn’t speak as Grant put his arm around her.
They both looked a little pale as they watched me, waiting for me to continue.

“My father, or more accurately, his vardoger, is obsessed with finding a way to become
immortal. Right now, a vardoger can only overtake
their own person, and when that
body dies, the vardoger dies along with it. But my father is convinced that there’s
a way for vardogers to jump bodies, to overtake anyone they choose. If he’s right,
and he figures out a way to accomplish this, he can live forever. He can choose the
strongest vardogers to become immortal with him.”

Sarah made a sound of distress, but she continued her silence. Simon rubbed the back
of my neck, trying to soothe me, but nothing could lessen the tension I was feeling.
I forged ahead with my story, trying not to think about their reaction when I
finally told them about Simon.

“The worst part is, there’s a movement of seers joining forces with my father. I’m
not sure if it’s because they’re tired and resentful of dedicating their lives to
saving human souls, or if they’re simply just power hungry, but apparently they think
they have a better shot at surviving this battle if they side with my father.”

Sarah
finally spoke up, seemingly unable to keep quiet an
ymore. “But is it possible?” Her
voice sounded incredulous
, but also scared. “Can the vardogers succeed in becoming immortal?”

“Caitlin’s father is convinced that she holds the key to unlocking the secret of vardogers
being able to jump bodies,” Simon answered for me. “She’s one of the most powerful
seers we’ve ever encountered. Her father is convinced that there’s some way to use
palladium to give them the ability to become immortal. And he believes that Caitlin,
under hypnosis,
will be the one who reveals
how to use it.”

Grant looked at Simon oddly. “The most powerful seers
we’ve
ever encountered?”
he repeated
questioningly. “What do you mean,
we
?”

There was no way to sugarcoat it, so I answered
his question
bluntly. I thought it would be better coming from me. “Simon is a vardoger. But he’s
working against my father and all the vardogers that want to take over humanity. He’s
on our side.”

I expected Grant and Sarah to react immediately, but they just stared at Simon as
the tense silence grew. Sarah’s eyes were as wide as saucers, but Grant’s eyes were
narrowed as he studied Simon.

“So what you’re telling me is
that
this…
thing
killed Simon, the
real
Simon, but yet he’s on our side? How the hell is that possible?” Grant’s fists were
clenched and I could see his growing rage
as the meaning of my words started to sink in
.

“I overtook Simon his sophomore year at Yale.” His voice was quiet, but the intensity
of it cut through like a knife. “I’m sorry.”

Grant was shaking, and before I realized what was happening, he flew up from the couch
and attacked Simon. His fists were a blur as he threw punch after punch, but Simon
just took it, not fighting back and not even attempting to defend himself
.
I knew with his superhuman strength he could easily fling Grant away
but it was as if he was
trying to
atone for his sins
by not trying to block his punches
. But I couldn’t let it continue.

“Stop!” I screamed as I grabbed one of Grant’s arms. He barely noticed me as he reared
his arm back to land another punch, but my face got in the way as his elbow hit my
cheekbone with a painful slam.

I barely registered the sharp pain before Gra
nt was against the wall, his neck
pinned by Simon.
Simon’s grip wasn’t tight enough to block
Grant
’s airflow
, but
Grant
slumped
dejectedly
as if all the fight had gone out of him.
Simon let go of him and stepped back
, his
face tense but otherwise expressionless.

Sarah had been sitting silently on the couch
during the altercation
, as if she were ma
de out of stone
, but she suddenly ran up and grabbed my hand, trying to pull me away.

“He’s dangerous! We can’t trust him!” she cried out. “He killed Grant’s cousin!”

I resisted her attempts to pull me away. “Ever
yone, just stop,” I said firmly
. “Just stop so we can talk this through.”

Grant raised his head, staring at Simon with glazed eyes. “Tell me how you did it,”
he said hoarsely. “How did you kill him?”

Simon didn’t flinch at
his words, instead answering the question
with no hesitation.
“I made him take a bottle of sleeping pills. He fell asleep and never woke up.”

Grant made a sound of despair and slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor.
Sarah rushed over to him, putting her arms around him, as she stared up at Simon accusingly.

“You’re a murderer, yet we’re supposed to believe you’re on our side? You’re a vardoger!
A shadow! Why would you want to help us?” Sarah spat out the words, venom
coating every syllable. She shifted her gaze to me, and my stomach clenched at the
look of her undisguised anger. Anger directed towards me.
“You believe him?
He’s been lying to us this entire time, yet y
ou actually think a
shadow
is going to help us? You didn’t even know your own father was a vardoger this entire
time, and we’re supposed to trust your judgment?”

Sarah’s words battered
against me, reinforcing
all the doubts
I had about my
ability to make the right decisions in this mess
. Her accusations weren’t anything I hadn’t already said to myself. I just hadn’t
expected Sarah to voice them. I was too used to her being on my side
unconditionally
, but I couldn’t blame her for her reaction
.

Simon stepped over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist, and I knew he could feel
me trembling. His action seemed to enrage Sarah even more and she made a sound of
disgust.
We stared at each other, two couples on opposite sides, no longer
trusted alli
es but newly discovered enemies. A
t least from Sarah and Grant’s perspective.

I didn’t know what to do besides tell the rest of the story, so I continued, explaining
what had happened to Simon’s vardoger once he overtook his body, and the transformation
he experienced. I understood their looks of betrayal when I revealed why Simon had
fi
rst come to Maxwell, and I reli
ved the nightmare as I told them about everything that had happened in Connecticut.
I
couldn’t hide the fear in my voice
as
I told them about the danger we were all in now.

Simon didn’t contribute to the story
, his expression stoic, and I felt a pang of pain for him. Regardless of what he had
been, I knew what he was now. He was someone who felt pain, love and fear, and I knew
this was hard for him. I had asked him on the train ride whether he had
any
feelings towards his family, and the anguish in his eyes
when he said he cared for them
told me that he must be hurting from Grant’s rejection of him.

No one said anything for a while after I was done speaking.
Sarah was the first
one
to break the silence, but she spoke to Grant
.

“Are you okay?”

Grant closed his eyes for a few moments and then opened them again. “I’
m just trying to process all of
this.” He looked up at Simon. “I knew you were different the summer after your sophomore
year. I just thought that you had finally figured out what you wanted and were more
secure in who you were.” Grant’s mouth twisted.
“I didn’t realize that you were actually a different person.”